Topics of Communication Before Commitment...

[AnastassiaAsh]

- How do you resolve a conflict, argument, misunderstanding...?
- What is communication for you?
- What's the most important for you in a relationship and why?
- Faith, church, raising kids in this environment
- What responsibilities should husband/wife have?
- Traveling - how often, where, visiting relatives...
- Celebrating holidays
- Finances - what is expected from both, who will do paper work...
- Healthy eating habits
and so on

[Simoni]

You really should consider this point very closely. Think about what their daily life would be in USA.
Personally seen two cases where the family brought parents from foreign countries and they end sending them back.
Reason at home they have a little bit of life going out and running few errands visit with friends & neighbors in their own language. Here the children had very nice homes in suburban, the only thing they did was watch TV sunrise to sunset with minor walks. Very lonely since all family members were at work or school... so they were prisoners of their new home.

My wife has two close fsu friends.  Both handle this with frequent visits from MIL and FIL. 
MIL is here frequently; has a five year multiple entry visa.

That seems to be a better solution than living here.

[mark2353]

- How do you resolve a conflict, argument, misunderstanding...?
- What is communication for you?
- What's the most important for you in a relationship and why?
- Faith, church, raising kids in this environment
- What responsibilities should husband/wife have?
- Traveling - how often, where, visiting relatives...
- Celebrating holidays
- Finances - what is expected from both, who will do paper work...
- Healthy eating habits
and so on
Anastassia thank you! the traveling back home! I have this can do more damage to home budget than anything. The joke in the S. American community was marry a girl from home and get a platinum credit card to finance the traveling about to come.

[Misha]

Another topic that I forgot to list: sex. What are her expectations, your expectations....

[GoodOlBoy]

This topic reminds me of a personal story.

There was a Cuban guy from around here who met a RW from Novosibirsk. She was a "schoolgirl", 24 years old and he was 40 something. He apparently had some money and was "afraid" to commit to marriage with her until she signed a "prenup" and a "contract".

Now I never got to see this "contract" with my own eyes, BUT...this poor woman described the terms to my wife one time.

There were such demands in this contract as: sex so many times a week, she must have a baby after 2 years, she must cook certain types of Cuban food, clean at certain times, etc. etc. etc.

This poor girl asked my wife if she had signed a contract with me?

My wife answered: "Are you crazy?"

Well, after a couple of years of this clown waving this "contract" around under her nose everytime she didn't perform one of her "duties", the girl finally got tired and left this jacka**.

Now there are some members on this forum that would call her a GC girl and him a "victim".

Sorry, but I don't see it that way.

Anybody who tries to "control" another human being with a piece of paper.....well IMO that man has a "screw loose" upstairs.


GOB

[Kuna]

I think the mode and process of communication is more important than the topics because your future wife will have many impressions and opinions before migrating that will change after arrival.

My wife and I had a serious disagreement before I'd proposed and I gained confidence from the way we resolved the problem. 

Ironically the issue was related to the care of my elderly mother if and when the time came, and since her arrival her attitude has changed completely and now she is the main promoter of this idea.

Communication is important - but patience and understanding is more important!

[Diplomacy]

I agree Kuna, there have been a few things that came up that I had the same approach.  We will see what the opinion is after being here a while.  One thing I have learned is, just let a woman change her mind as much as needed.

My theory is that is multiplied with someone coming from another country.  It seems to be sound, with the input of others.  As long as it is not going to destroy finances or get someone hurt.  I just go along with it.  If it is something I can not accept, then we discuss it.

I do not know if it helps, but explaining if we do this then we can not do that.  It really seems to help exponentially. I support her either way, but of course sometimes her idea would not work.  No need to argue a point, that she can see for herself soon.

[OlgaH]

Salads?  Those I can handle--barely.

But stinky fish is another story!!!

Simoni,

I hope you are not forced to eat what you don't like under a gun pointed at you  (just kidding)

Robert and I resolve issues about food very easily, though we have not yet had any problem about the food. 

For example sometimes I like to have the liver stewed with sweet onion and spices in sour cream sauce, Robert doesn't like the liver at all, so I cook the liver only for me and something else for Robert .

[OlgaH]

I think the mode and process of communication is more important than the topics because your future wife will have many impressions and opinions before migrating that will change after arrival.

and also the most of  topics usually arise during the process of communication and not just sitting at the table and chatting but during joint action 

[Mishenka]

hummm,, Olga, you seem very easy to get along with. Galina cooked  fish heads one night and ,,,, well, its hard for me to eat fish with eyes looking at me,,, it is her favorite eating the brains...im happy eating the filet of fish, no bones....
 

[OlgaH]

hummm,, Olga, you seem very easy to get along with. Galina cooked head of fish heads one night and ,,,, well, its hard for me to eat fish with eyes looking at me,,, it is her favorite...im happy eating the filet of fish, no bones....
 

I think Galina and I would get along with each other  very fast  What kind of fish she used? I love  carp and sturgeon, and I don't if fish eyes look at me.    BTW you can pick out the fish eyes, if it bother you  Oh, now I want ukha or just a head of sturgeon stuffed with rice

[Diplomacy]

Fish heads are the best for soup stock.  I still have a hard time with carp as food.  There is plenty of better tasting fish, that I can get on the hook. 

I would eat it if we needed to.  Just no real need to right now.

A lot of things such as fish heads, are mind of matter.

[mark2353]

Fish heads are the best for soup stock.  I still have a hard time with carp as food.  There is plenty of better tasting fish, that I can get on the hook. 

A lot of things such as fish heads, are mind of matter.

Yes! fish head and bones make the best fish stock then add the rest of the good stuff! Scilian fish soup, Yes!!
Olga,
I personally used to love liver and Onions, used to be a favorite. Then I learned what the liver functions are so now I am on Roberts camp do not touch that stuff.

But it is important that the two of you agree of food because if she only eats "hamburgers" and does want to get past that well forget it.

[OlgaH]

I still have a hard time with carp as food.  There is plenty of better tasting fish, that I can get on the hook. 

M-m-m, a pirog with carp, potato and onion is the best   I also love cod, the cod liver in oil   and smoked mackerel    Honestly, I love all kind of fish, especially when a fish tastes and smells like fish      

[Diplomacy]

Yes, but you can use the mackerel to catch a tuna, mahi, striped bass, grouper, well this can go on for a while.

Did you see the story about the cod eating a cell phone that a guy dropped in the ocean?  A fisherman caught the cod, and the phone worked after drying out.

You reminded me though, I need to buy a new smoker.  MMMMM! 

The fish, are what you grew up eating.  So, it is fine.  I would eat it, if I was at someone's home that had prepared it.

[Blues Fairy]

Politics, definitely.

I'm scared to think what I'd have gotten myself into if I had arrived with a squishy liberal brain into my husband's conservative claws.  Luckily I was conservative to begin with.

[Lily]

Lily,  
 why not come on your own like so many often do.  

Mishenka, I think I shared my independent immigration plans on the fora even earlier

More than that, I just came back from the post office where I made my first step towards it

As for the Polish woman who suggested a tourist visa, well, this is just a tourist visa, eh? For a little time as vacation and then back home? Not the good way to immigrate. Or did she imply eventual overstay of a tourist admission into the country? This is a violation, folks.

[OlgaH]

Olga,
I personally used to love liver and Onions, used to be a favorite. Then I learned what the liver functions are so now I am on Roberts camp do not touch that stuff.

Mark, and in spite of its function the liver contains protein, Iron, Phosphorus, Potassium, Copper, Manganese , Selenium, B-1 (Thiamin), B-2 (Riboflavin), B-3 (Niacin), B-5 (Pantothenic acid ), B-6 (Pyridoxine), B9 (Folate), Choline, B-12 (Cobalamin), Vitamin A and D and is recommended to people with anemia. 

The liver's role is to neutralize toxins, but the liver does not store toxins 

[Shadow]

Anybody who tries to "control" another human being with a piece of paper.....well IMO that man has a "screw loose" upstairs.
GOB

Yeah, waving those greens to get people to perform actions is for screwjobs.  :evil:

[mark2353]

Olga,
in one of my many lifes I worked designing medical instrumentation. Working with blood chemistries. My doctors at the time pointed out that any molecule size larger than the sugar molecule would get permanently trapped in the liver(primary filter) and the Kidneys (secondary). So any of the complex chemicals that are in fertilizers and steroid... that the animal sees during its short lifespan will be there! Sorry knowing what most animals are feed today, I eat very little meat. But that is me.

[OlgaH]

Sorry knowing what most animals are feed today, I eat very little meat. But that is me.

Mark, in such case what does The Food Safety and Inspection Service exist for?  if they let the farmers and stores to feed people with meat polluted with toxins 

[mark2353]

Sorry!! But that is fact! Since you are the champion on researcher start looking into this subject. scary!!!

[OlgaH]

Sorry!! But that is fact! Since you are the champion on researcher start looking into this subject. scary!!!

Yes, Mark, that's scary, but does it really matter if the air, water, vegetables, fruits and so on also contains toxins  and plus add all medicine that we take since our childhood 

[mark2353]

Yes, Mark, that's scary, but does it really matter if the air, water, vegetables, fruits and so on also contains toxins  and plus add all medicine that we take since our childhood 

My though is limit the amount of toxins! I do agree we live in a polluted world so.. Personally I found that leaving out the meat has been great for my GI so..

[Blues Fairy]

any molecule size larger than the sugar molecule would get permanently trapped in the liver(primary filter) and the Kidneys (secondary).

Nonsense.  Toxins are eliminated with the bile, that's the primary function of a healthy liver.  Glucose molecule is smaller than bilirubin which is excreted by the liver without any problem.

The danger of eating too much liver is in its high content of cholesterol and vitamin A (retinol).