Author Topic: Realities of FSUW (Read 126304 times)

Zhena · « **Reply #200 on:** April 10, 2009, 05:58:36 PM »

Misha,you primitivise the things. There is not only white and black,ok?
CDo you personally know why your stunning wife loves you? I dont know her,ok-if I would,I wouldnt have to ask you. So interesting to hear your opinion-what do you think makes you better than other men?
And if you would have more money-would it be the issue TO GIVE? What is bad about the giving? Those who give-they get back much more,believe me. I see the relationship as the mutual giving. And I dont mind to give my husband a present,which,I know,he will like. It makes me happy to give to him,ok-so very natural that I expect the same attitude and dont understand different.

Zhena · « **Reply #201 on:** April 10, 2009, 06:05:31 PM »

Also I believe that any relationship need constant work. You have to work to impress your wife on different levels,and so does she. Its not like that-well ,we married so now I can relax and please love me for who I am,even if I acting like a jerk. And I am too good to put any effort and spoil my wife

Yes,you have to remind her from time to time,that you love her and willing to make her happy,and she was right to choose you. Dont tell me only,that your wife doesnt need this.

Sculpto · « **Reply #202 on:** April 10, 2009, 06:10:33 PM »

Quote from: Zhena on April 10, 2009, 05:58:36 PM

Misha,you primitivise the things. There is not only white and black,ok?
CDo you personally know why your stunning wife loves you? I dont know her,ok-if I would,I wouldnt have to ask you. So interesting to hear your opinion-what do you think makes you better than other men?
And if you would have more money-would it be the issue TO GIVE? What is bad about the giving? Those who give-they get back much more,believe me. I see the relationship as the mutual giving. And I dont mind to give my husband a present,which,I know,he will like. It makes me happy to give to him,ok-so very natural that I expect the same attitude and dont understand different.

See now you are making sense Zhena.. there is nothign wrong with both people giving to each other.. in fact that is how it should be.. but what youa re saying now is veyr different than what you said before.

Sculpto · « **Reply #203 on:** April 10, 2009, 06:14:47 PM »

OK, this might be slightly off topic, but, I think it is on topic because what I just saw and read was a big shock and obviously there is some part of this that is relative to the mentality of FSUWs.

I was doing some research on Tomsk. I came across a link to a local tomsk dating site. No harm in poking around there. There is a forum.. I clicked.. what I found is beyond description.

http://kiss.tomsk.ru/index.php

Go to the forums and click on the sex link. I am posting a warning.. this is not an easy thing to see. I am still in shock.

JR · « **Reply #204 on:** April 10, 2009, 06:15:17 PM »

Quote from: Misha on April 10, 2009, 05:52:51 PM

Sorry, thousands, nay millions of Russians have walked in front of hotels. One must be careful not to generalize the idiosyncrasies of individuals to an entire culture.

I never generalized, I stated clearly that it was my Ex's deal and that I could not relate to it. That is only two people. I used that unique experience as an example of how two people can have difficulty understanding each other's motivations if they have not lived the other's life. Your experiences would be different.
If I were generalizing I would have said that everyone in Russia was afraid to be seen with me.
Thankfully that is not the case

JR · « **Reply #205 on:** April 10, 2009, 06:19:06 PM »

Quote from: Zhena on April 10, 2009, 06:05:31 PM

Also I believe that any relationship need constant work. You have to work to impress your wife on different levels,and so does she. Its not like that-well ,we married so now I can relax and please love me for who I am,even if I acting like a jerk. And I am too good to put any effort and spoil my wife Yes,you have to remind her from time to time,that you love her and willing to make her happy,and she was right to choose you. Dont tell me only,that your wife doesnt need this.

Love is like a garden, everyday you gotta get down on your knees, pull the weeds and care for it if you want good produce

Misha · « **Reply #206 on:** April 10, 2009, 06:19:40 PM »

Quote from: Zhena on April 10, 2009, 05:58:36 PM

CDo you personally know why your stunning wife loves you?

Yes. She fell in love and love for me because of my intelligence, wit, kindness, personality, etc... Money was not on the list of reasons.

Why do you love your husband?

Quote

And if you would have more money-would it be the issue TO GIVE? What is bad about the giving?

I would not want to be in a relationship founded on giving, a relationship whereby my wife is with me simply because I give her things, and presumably would leave if I stopped giving. If other men are okay with that, that is there prerogative. Simply put, I want a wife who will love me for me and not for my gifts. I am not against husbands giving wives gifts, but I do not favor gifts being prerequisite.

JR · « **Reply #207 on:** April 10, 2009, 06:20:18 PM »

Quote from: Zhena on April 10, 2009, 05:58:36 PM

Misha,you primitivise the things. There is not only white and black,ok?
CDo you personally know why your stunning wife loves you? I dont know her,ok-if I would,I wouldnt have to ask you. So interesting to hear your opinion-what do you think makes you better than other men?
And if you would have more money-would it be the issue TO GIVE? What is bad about the giving? Those who give-they get back much more,believe me. I see the relationship as the mutual giving. And I dont mind to give my husband a present,which,I know,he will like. It makes me happy to give to him,ok-so very natural that I expect the same attitude and dont understand different.

What it took to get her is what it will take to keep her

Ronnie · « **Reply #208 on:** April 10, 2009, 07:02:50 PM »

I've spent most of my working life as a tax accountant and financial planner. I worked with many high net worth people, usually over the age 50. There was one common thread that connected them all, or nearly all these folks. That thread was not intelligence, good looks, or confidence as has been represented here. That thread was fear. Fear that they would lose their money even a small part of it. These folks were generous only in their testamentary trusts (created upon their deaths), keeping for themselves during their lives as much as they possibly could keep. The would give minimal amounts to charity and sought to pay no taxes if possible.

So ladies, if you desire your future man to be both rich and generous, you are headed for an unhappy experience. If you mock his frugality and wise and productive use of money, you mock the very thing that made him a financial success. If you expected him to mimic the Russian man who won't open a door for his lady but will spend his whole paycheck on an an elaborate gift that might please her, then you will understand why few Russian men can afford to raise a family.

You talk about gifts. Yet your definition of a gift has never included anything unless it can be purchased with cash. What of the gifts that cost him something more valuable than cash? How much golf does he play now that he is married? How much time is spent fishing, going to the ballpark or enjoying his (former) hobbies? If it's less than before you became his wife, he has given a gift and paid for it with something that he cannot replace - his finite amount time. If he thought he could get back his former pleasures by merely taking you on an occasional holiday or buying you shiny trinkets, he would and likely, many men resort to taking that route because it seems to keep you pacified.

So, I have a message for RW and any W who can't see past their designer sunglasses to recognize real success, unselfishness and love: You will find no more happiness in your marriage than will the man who can't see past a woman's face and figure.

goforit · « **Reply #209 on:** April 10, 2009, 07:13:21 PM »

Quote from: Ronnie on April 09, 2009, 06:47:53 PM

I don't know why or how it started, but nobody lies like the Russians and Ukrainians. You see it throughout the culture, from their top leaders down to the little kids. Try as we may, in this department, we can't compete.

I don't know about the rest of society, but when it comes to our leaders (in the US), not only can we compete, we are often leading the derby. Politicians are liars no matter what country they "lead".

goforit · « **Reply #210 on:** April 10, 2009, 07:15:30 PM »

Quote from: OlgaH on April 09, 2009, 08:17:55 PM

Interesting, living in US I noticed some Americans are masters to lie, cheat and muddle smb's brain , probably they learn it from their leaders

Of course, US leaders are doing it "for our own good."

Ronnie · « **Reply #211 on:** April 10, 2009, 07:17:08 PM »

Quote from: goforit on April 10, 2009, 07:13:21 PM

I don't know about the rest of society, but when it comes to our leaders (in the US), not only can we compete, we are often leading the derby. Politicians are liars no matter what country they "lead".

The major difference is that in the west we denounce and expose the lies. In the FSU, they accept them as just the way it is, or worse, they can see it as strength and cleverness.

Zhena · « **Reply #212 on:** April 10, 2009, 07:51:23 PM »

Quote from: Sculpto on April 10, 2009, 06:10:33 PM

See now you are making sense Zhena.. there is nothign wrong with both people giving to each other.. in fact that is how it should be.. but what youa re saying now is veyr different than what you said before.

Please-what I said before that contradicts with what I am saying now?

Doll · « **Reply #213 on:** April 10, 2009, 07:55:59 PM »

(I've just read the thread- find it funny that Misha is attacking Zhena for the same thing he attacked me not so long ago- I said that RW first of all want the men who make decent money. Ah, ah, Doll, your husband is a big bucks guy so there is no love in your marriage.
So I do agree with Zhena - women look for a better life. "Better" is not the cheapest food and second hand stores.

Misha · « **Reply #214 on:** April 10, 2009, 08:01:38 PM »

Quote from: Doll on April 10, 2009, 07:55:59 PM

(I've just read the thread- find it funny that Misha is attacking Zhena for the same thing he attacked me not so long ago

Call it consistency

I agree that there are women who are only interested in a man's money, but I do not believe that all RW are like this, and I believe that a woman who measures a man solely based on his "gifts" must be avoided at all costs.

Misha · « **Reply #215 on:** April 10, 2009, 08:02:59 PM »

Quote from: Ronnie on April 10, 2009, 07:02:50 PM

So, I have a message for RW and any W who can't see past their designer sunglasses to recognize real success, unselfishness and love: You will find no more happiness in your marriage than will the man who can't see past a woman's face and figure.

Well said!

Doll · « **Reply #216 on:** April 10, 2009, 08:08:25 PM »

Quote

Call it consistency Roll Eyes I agree that there are women who are only interested in a man's money,

Here we go again! We all keep saying that between two men with equal qualities a woman would pick the one with better income. We can't afford risking because we are in this country with no parents, sisters or brothers to support us.Language, GC and so on.

Zhena · « **Reply #217 on:** April 10, 2009, 08:10:16 PM »

Quote from: Ronnie on April 10, 2009, 07:02:50 PM

I've spent most of my working life as a tax accountant and financial planner. I worked with many high net worth people, usually over the age 50. There was one common thread that connected them all, or nearly all these folks. That thread was not intelligence, good looks, or confidence as has been represented here. That thread was fear. Fear that they would lose their money even a small part of it. These folks were generous only in their testamentary trusts (created upon their deaths), keeping for themselves during their lives as much as they possibly could keep. The would give minimal amounts to charity and sought to pay no taxes if possible.

So ladies, if you desire your future man to be both rich and generous, you are headed for an unhappy experience. If you mock his frugality and wise and productive use of money, you mock the very thing that made him a financial success. If you expected him to mimic the Russian man who won't open a door for his lady but will spend his whole paycheck on an an elaborate gift that might please her, then you will understand why few Russian men can afford to raise a family.

You talk about gifts. Yet your definition of a gift has never included anything unless it can be purchased with cash. What of the gifts that cost him something more valuable than cash? How much golf does he play now that he is married? How much time is spent fishing, going to the ballpark or enjoying his (former) hobbies? If it's less than before you became his wife, he has given a gift and paid for it with something that he cannot replace - his finite amount time. If he thought he could get back his former pleasures by merely taking you on an occasional holiday or buying you shiny trinkets, he would and likely, many men resort to taking that route because it seems to keep you pacified.

So, I have a message for RW and any W who can't see past their designer sunglasses to recognize real success, unselfishness and love: You will find no more happiness in your marriage than will the man who can't see past a woman's face and figure.

Ronnie,thanks for the message.
Fortunately in our family we dont make it such a big problem. Its not the crazy money-the sunglasses,even designers one.

Also about the freedom that a man looses when he marries-it was his free choice,isnt it? If you cant or not ready to sacrifice some of your freedom-you shouldnt get married. The women sacrifice alot also. And when they get kids-they sacrifice even more.
About that the very rich are stingy often,I agree. It is been my opinion also for a long time. But here many depends on the woman. The same man is not similar with the different women.

And the woman always should be reasonable,I agree. If she knows you cant afford-she shouldnt ask. If she has a huge collection of designers handbags and doesnt need any more but buys-its ok as soon as its ok with her husband.

Doll · « **Reply #218 on:** April 10, 2009, 08:11:26 PM »

Quote

So, I have a message for RW and any W who can't see past their designer sunglasses to recognize real success,

Got you ( I've just come from a crazy shopping :usdeyes:)

Blues Fairy · « **Reply #219 on:** April 10, 2009, 08:13:37 PM »

Quote from: Zhena on April 10, 2009, 05:58:36 PM

I see the relationship as the mutual giving. And I dont mind to give my husband a present,which,I know,he will like. It makes me happy to give to him, ok-so very natural that I expect the same attitude and dont understand different.

That's exactly what's so creepy about your posts. You see the marriage as some kind of transactional relationship with a black box which has an "in" and an "out", but you don't seem overly concerned about what's going on inside it.

goforit · « **Reply #220 on:** April 10, 2009, 08:14:04 PM »

Quote from: Misha on April 10, 2009, 08:01:38 PM

Call it consistency I agree that there are women who are only interested in a man's money, but I do not believe that all RW are like this, and I believe that a woman who measures a man solely based on his "gifts" must be avoided at all costs.

Help me here. Which of the women involved in this thread has said that all or even most Russian women are only interested in a man's money? I must be missing something?

Zhena · « **Reply #221 on:** April 10, 2009, 08:14:31 PM »

Golddigger you,Dolka-poor your husband

Zhena · « **Reply #222 on:** April 10, 2009, 08:17:01 PM »

Quote from: Blues Fairy on April 10, 2009, 08:13:37 PM

That's exactly what's so creepy about your posts. You see the marriage as some kind of transactional relationship with a black box which has an "in" and an "out", but you don't seem overly concerned about what's going on inside it.

Would you please explain what is your imagination of the relationship?

I dont see anything bad that we are eager to make each other happy as much as we can

Misha · « **Reply #223 on:** April 10, 2009, 08:17:36 PM »

Quote from: goforit on April 10, 2009, 08:14:04 PM

Help me here. Which of the women involved in this thread has said that all or even most Russian women are only interested in a man's money? I must be missing something?

What, do you want me to read her threads for you?

Go back and reread them. The meaning is quite clear to me. Or, just read Blues comment that sums it up quite well.

Doll · « **Reply #224 on:** April 10, 2009, 08:18:10 PM »

Quote from: Zhena on April 10, 2009, 08:14:31 PM

Golddigger you,Dolka-poor your husband

S-t up!

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Author Topic: Realities of FSUW (Read 126304 times)

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