Hello from San Diego - Want to learn about Russian women!!

[HeSearches]

Hi there!   

I'm a good looking man who lives in San Diego, California.   I'm tall, blue eyes, dark blonde hair, and an average body.   I look much younger than my real age - 55. 

I'm interested in learning more about Russian women, their culture, and how to form a good relationship with a Russian lady.   

My interest in Russian women is because I've started dating a Russian woman who also lives in San Diego.   She came here last year to live with her daughter and son-in-law.   It's been a wonderful experience to be with her.  She's very smart, sweet, sexy, and kind.  She always impresses me with her appearance.   She does everything perfectly - hair, makeup, clothes - and has a great sense of humor.   She's fun to be with although she struggles at times with her English. 

I want to have a successful relationship with this Russian woman and I don't want to do anything wrong.  I hope that the Russian women here will give me help in doing this.  I have a good relationship already with this woman and only want it to be as perfect as possible. 

Thank you and please write me if you'd like to exchange information.   I can tell you a lot about American men.
Doug

[Aloe]

Welcome to the forums.. a couple thoughts..
If you want a successful relationship, you shouldn't rely on other people's opinions. Only on your partner's opinion and your own, cuz who else knows a situation better than you two? And who else other than her can tell you what you did or maybe doing wrong or right, and what to do about it?
Imo just enjoy it and relax, if everything is going well, no need to worry

[JR]

Welcome Searcher Dude!

Two things to know.....

1. I know everything.

2. If in doubt refer to number one.

3. Aloe Luvs me   Hahahahahhaa

Write some letters and in six weeks be in country. It don't mean *snip* if you don't get on a plane....

[Aloe]

Jolly, do u actually read the topics you respond to? He said she lives in his city.

[HeSearches]

I wasn't looking for opinions.   I know how to have a successful relationship and so far everything is going very well.   The only struggle is with her English and my lack of Russian.  Other than that we understand each other perfectly!!   

I'm looking for information about Russian women and how they differ from American women.   I'm looking for advice  from American guys with experience with Russian women.   I'd also like advice from Russian women with experience in relationships with American men.   

I've done some reading about Russian women and there are some differences from American women.   In Russia, public displays of affection (PDA) are not as common as in the US.   My Russian woman is much more apprehensive about people looking than most American women would be but she's very affectionate with me.   We hug, hold hands, and kiss when we think no one is looking. 

She doesn't kiss long.   I'm used to long passionate kisses but she doesn't seem to be into that, but it may be because we've haven't been behind closed doors yet.   I expect that to happen soon!      

She isn't into French kissing either which is something I find a little distressing.   Do Russian women have something against French kissing?

What I'm trying to identify in her behavior that are because she's Russian, or are they behaviors that are unique to her?   Since I have no previous experience with Russian women I don't know.   Answers?

[Muddy]

She isn't into French kissing either which is something I find a little distressing.   Do Russian women have something against French kissing?

Not the girl I knew but she was Ukrainian

What I'm trying to identify in her behavior that are because she's Russian, or are they behaviors that are unique to her?   Since I have no previous experience with Russian women I don't know.   Answers?

They can be very very unforgiving, keep that in my mind.

[groovlstk]

I've done some reading about Russian women and there are some differences from American women.   In Russia, public displays of affection (PDA) are not as common as in the US.   My Russian woman is much more apprehensive about people looking than most American women would be but she's very affectionate with me.   We hug, hold hands, and kiss when we think no one is looking. 

This is not true, particularly for people under 30. If your GF is over the age of 40 this might be something to consider, but don't fall into the trap of rationalizing certain behaviors as cultural differences - it's the kiss of death. I dated RW as old as 47 before I met my wife, and if a woman liked me she made it very obvious, alone or in public.

FWIW, my wife takes a perverse delight in kissing me passionately when we're on the the subway, since she knows I'm a lot more conservative than her about public affection. There's not much I can do but sit back and enjoy it. 

Be really careful of the sources you look to for advice on stuff like this - there are plenty of sunshine boys out there who will attribute all sorts of odd behavioral characteristics to RW, most related to zero affection/indifference (usually to rationalize their own soon-to-fail relationships).

[Dave13]

My Wife, Likes it when I speak Russian to her! 

Dave

[Faux Pas]

I wasn't looking for opinions.   I know how to have a successful relationship and so far everything is going very well.   The only struggle is with her English and my lack of Russian.  Other than that we understand each other perfectly!!   

I'm looking for information about Russian women and how they differ from American women.   I'm looking for advice  from American guys with experience with Russian women.   I'd also like advice from Russian women with experience in relationships with American men.   

I've done some reading about Russian women and there are some differences from American women.   In Russia, public displays of affection (PDA) are not as common as in the US.   My Russian woman is much more apprehensive about people looking than most American women would be but she's very affectionate with me.   We hug, hold hands, and kiss when we think no one is looking. 

She doesn't kiss long.   I'm used to long passionate kisses but she doesn't seem to be into that, but it may be because we've haven't been behind closed doors yet.   I expect that to happen soon!      

She isn't into French kissing either which is something I find a little distressing.   Do Russian women have something against French kissing?

What I'm trying to identify in her behavior that are because she's Russian, or are they behaviors that are unique to her?   Since I have no previous experience with Russian women I don't know.   Answers?

He,

Personally, I think you've gotten some bad information. I know theres plenty here that will likely disagree with that. Yes, there are some nuances between AW and RW but that is pretty much the extent of it. Women are women. RW just like the AW you have dated have many of their personal likes and dislikes and really isn't cultural related although it seems many men in this pursuit attribute it to that.

She may not like or not know how to french kiss. You may not be the fantastic french kisser that you believe yourself to be. I do believe it is true that some of your older RW might be reluctant show a lot of affection i public. It is probably as much  generational and cultural. Don't let it concern you. If your not getting the affection in private you need then you might have a problem.  

[Faux Pas]

This is not true, particularly for people under 30. If your GF is over the age of 40 this might be something to consider, but don't fall into the trap of rationalizing certain behaviors as cultural differences - it's the kiss of death. I dated RW as old as 47 before I met my wife, and if a woman liked me she made it very obvious, alone or in public.

FWIW, my wife takes a perverse delight in kissing me passionately when we're on the the subway, since she knows I'm a lot more conservative than her about public affection. There's not much I can do but sit back and enjoy it. 

Be really careful of the sources you look to for advice on stuff like this - there are plenty of sunshine boys out there who will attribute all sorts of odd behavioral characteristics to RW, most related to zero affection/indifference (usually to rationalize their own soon-to-fail relationships).

I didn't see this before I posted but I would say, RIGHT ON

[mies]

Congratulations with meeting nice lady :-)

1. I do not think that russian women are very different.
2. Take your time and get to know her gradually. No need for extensive reading- you aren't buying an exotic dog or sugar glider, of which you don't know how to care about. This is just another human being, from a quite similar country, same race, and supposedly same (meaning Christian) religion.
3. Learn Russian?
4. Give her flowers.
5. Give her presents or small tokens of your attention.
6. Show care (e.g. when it is cold - ask her if she's ok and offer her your jacket, if it is hot - ask her if she wants to move to a cooler place etc.), if she is in your car - help her to adjust passenger's seat, ask her what temperature she wants on AC. - these tiny things aren't hard to do, but they mean a lot to women (at least to me they do).
7. what does your woman like?
8. this isn't true that russian women (all millions of them) are not into french kissing or kissing in general. If your woman doesn't feel comfortable with public expressions of her affection - this may be a reason for no french kissing.
9. You are indeed very attractive, but I would most likely be able to identify your age if I saw you on the street. My first guess was "around 55", when i looked closer at the tiny photo - my second guess was "in a range of 47-55".

Faux Pas wrote everything correct.

[GoodOlBoy]

I have a good relationship already with this woman and only want it to be as perfect as possible.

Hello Hesearches and welcome to RWD.

My advice, learn some Russian.

If you do, you will impress her.

Russian women are pretty much like any other women in the GoodOl' USA (with the exception of being 50 lbs lighter than AW). 


GOB

[Gator]

I want to have a successful relationship with this Russian woman and I don't want to do anything wrong.

With this attitude you will never succeed. 

-  First, you must  learn to accept that you will be wrong and that you were wrong even if you thought you were right.
-  Second, you must learn not to argue (you will lose so it is a waste of breath, and besides you do not want to ruffle RW feathers). 
-  Third, if anything happens that is not good, it is you fault.

With this attitude you will be amazed at how warm and affectionate a RW can be.

The only struggle is with her English and my lack of Russian. 

What is her level of English?  This can be a problem (for you over time) if she can not have an intellectual conversation.  Older women have trouble learning English IMO.

I'm looking for information about Russian women and how they differ from American women.

Here are the RW tendencies in comparison with AW as I have experienced them.  YMMV.

-  RW tend to revel in being feminine (not feminist)

-  RW expect more from a man.

-  RW tend to be more pragmatic and more skeptical than AW.

-  RW tend to be more polite, and some RW are more sophisticated than AW dependent upon their education and background.

-  Counter to this politeness, RW are more direct, to the point of perhaps seeming rude.

-  To a RW, family is far more important, almost tribal.

-  RW are long on pride and short on cash.

-  RW think the world revolves around French cosmetics, Italian shoes and Belgian chocolate.

-  RW have a different sense of humor (less silly, more sarcastic).

-  RW tend to not date around.

-  RW have a great work ethic.

-  RW know little about financial planning.

-  To insult a RW is a death sentence.



There is a lot more but I forgot about AW after spending the past 7 years with RW.

In Russia, public displays of affection (PDA) are not as common as in the US.   My Russian woman is much more apprehensive about people looking than most American women would be but she's very affectionate with me.   We hug, hold hands, and kiss when we think no one is looking.

   

This tends to be the rule among women 35-45, yet there are many exceptions who relish PDA.

She doesn't kiss long.   I'm used to long passionate kisses but she doesn't seem to be into that, but it may be because we've haven't been behind closed doors yet.   

 

You answered your question.  You have yet to discover what she prefers.

She isn't into French kissing either which is something I find a little distressing.   Do Russian women have something against French kissing?

 

Does that not have something to do with being behind closed doors?  The one woman with the longest tongue in the world (IMO) is UW, and she was proud of it.  Another UW did not like french kissing at all, giving only a quick rigid response.  RW tend to have fuller lips than the WASP AW, and this is a welcome attribute in my book.

That is all I have to say.  Any more and I could get into trouble.

Enjoy your time with this RW.

[ConnerVT]

With this attitude you will never succeed. 

-  First, you must  learn to accept that you will be wrong and that you were wrong even if you thought you were right.
-  Second, you must learn not to argue (you will lose so it is a waste of breath, and besides you do not want to ruffle RW feathers). 
-  Third, if anything happens that is not good, it is you fault.

With this attitude you will be amazed at how warm and affectionate a RW can be.

Gator, you made me laugh.  We need Dan to get another Tablet of Stone to carve this on!   

It works exactly that way in my house, with a twist.

It took me a long time to realize that you don't have to win all of the battles, just the important ones.  My wife knows that I give in to most of her decisions (which she makes with my opinion as input).  But if there is something that I truly feel strong about (a deal breaker, drive off the cliff type thing) she also knows that I will stand so strong on it that it may be impossible to sway me.  It doesn't happen that often, but I believe she respects me for it.

[JR]

Jolly, do u actually read the topics you respond to? He said she lives in his city.

Uh, why would I do that?

[JR]

Women are women. They come in a wide variety, some are just wide

A couple big differences come to mind (married to a RW for 10 years). A RW is likely to be:
Much more status concious than AW.
Much less likely to trust you when it comes to fidelity.
They put themselve together more meticulously than AW.
They do like to be right. Or maybe they just like for you to be wrong. Is that the same thing?
I did notice back in the early nineties that there was very little PDA going on in Moscow and St. Pete. But I have heard that the newer generation isn't the same. So you may be in that generational goove. But then again it could be that it is just her.

Anyway, best of luck to you.

[GQBlues]

I'm married to a wonderful woman who happens to be Russian.

From a general woman standpoint, IMO, there's really no difference with any other.
The only factual and real difference she have compared to any other women in America are:

1. She speaks Russian and English with an accent
2. I married her.
3. She had to learn how to drive at such a relative advanced age
4. She had to 'learn' that 'teflon' pots and pans didn't had to be scrubbed down to the metal
5. She, along with her RW friends, are a bit more prone to be judgmental and enjoys a gossip or two.
6. She had to learn at a later age, but now enjoys, activities like snowboarding, rollerskating, boogie-boarding, golf, tennis, etc...

If this seem a bit trivial, it is mostly because I honestly feel women are women and my wife is definitely not an exception. She more or less react to the same innate stimulus as any other women I've come to know the world over.

She have distinct character and personality but those are simply because of who she is and not because of 'what' (nationality) she is.

YMMV.

[Misha]

Do Russian women have something against French kissing?

Some like it, some don't, much like women in Europe or North America. It is not a question, IMHO, of whether Russian women like something, rather whether the Russian woman with whom you happen to be likes something.

[Sculpto]

I sense a little bit of self esteem lacking in some of your post and questioning.  I suspect you had a rough divorce and have not had much experience/intimacy with women since.  You don't have to respond to that if you don't want.

But, because of this feeling I got from your post, I am concerned you may put yourself into the pussywhipped mancarpet scenario with this lady.  Please self evaluate your confidence level with women in general.  Try to understand that your new friend never went through a  womens liberation movement nor has she been exposed to decades of subliminal propoganda denigrating the value of men. 

You need to be a real man!  Whatever the hell that is...

[Mishenka]

Hi HeSearches, Welcome to RWD

Thanks for the message today, I have a lot to say and would be happy to meet with you any time you'd like. You can call me or write a PM. I am off work Saturday. Sunday I will be spending time at Lake Poway with a large group of Russians for a BBQ, you are welcome to join me and meet some friends from all over FSU. It might be overwhelming at first to be surrounded by so many incredible people. If you are not busy Sunday from noon to 5 PM contact me. Maybe she would like to come with you and meet some new friends. I have to wake at 5 AM tomorrow so I won't be up late tonight.

Mishenka

[Mishenka]

Let me explain the French Kissing situation. I don't think she dislikes it at all. It may be a case of too much to soon or.....

This is rather elementary but think of it this way. A French kiss to an older RW is an invitation to the bedroom. Hormones man,, think about it. Not all of us have the best self control when it comes to kissing especially French kissing, and once you start the release of hormones, its hard to stop them. So, that said, if you don't have the freedom or plan on going to the bedroom, its best not to start the hormones raging in the first place. I got myself in trouble more than a few times with to much kissing. At some point when everything is just right, they will invite you into the bedroom and you can kiss all you want.  Needless to say, Russian women are the most passionate of all. They are also very good actresses and very convincing in role play,  making it hard to tell whats real and what is fantasy.

[HeSearches]

Thank you all for the great responses!!   

I feel better informed so thanks for sharing with.  Gator, I particularly liked your precise comparisons of RW to AW.   Right on!!

When I said I didn't want to do anything wrong, I have no fear of failure.  I just didn't want to inadvertently do or say something that would be misinterpreted because of cultural differences.  FYI Our relationship thus far has been blissful.

The RW is 47, so some of this may be a generational difference.   She was raised in a different atmosphere in the FSU.  She is a very kind, giving woman.  She's very warm and affectionate with me.  She's also very intelligent, well-educated and well-traveled.    She has sophisticated tastes, dresses extremely well, and I think she's pretty.

I will take your advice and try to learn some Russian.  I just find the words so terribly hard to pronounce!  It's a very foreign tongue to me.  I can speak a little French and German but they are no where near as difficult for me as Russian.   I can only imagine how difficult is for my RW to speak in English.

FYI I am a terrific kisser.  Ask any woman who's been with me.  I think her preference not to French kiss may have something to do with past husband or boyfriend.   I'm sure with some time and some creative playfulness we'll work through this one.

Thanks for all of your input.  I will certainly keep it in mind as this relationship progresses.

[groovlstk]

I will take your advice and try to learn some Russian.  I just find the words so terribly hard to pronounce!  It's a very foreign tongue to me.  I can speak a little French and German but they are no where near as difficult for me as Russian.   I can only imagine how difficult is for my RW to speak in English.

You should invest in a Pimsleur conversational Russian course on CDs. I listened to a set while driving or puttering around my apartment and in about a month I had about 200 words/phrases. One thing you will find is that you can talk about sincerity with her until the cows come home, but action must follow words or she'll lose confidence in you. Simply making an effort to learn some Russian words will give you a huge boost in her eyes.

[Dave13]

Groovlstk, Has some good advice, the Pimsleur CD's have helped me learn some Russian, of course all the girls in the office in Tver, were giggling  when I showed off my language skills, it's something  about  the mix of Russian and my southern accent.

Dave

[SANDRO43]

FYI I am a terrific kisser.  Ask any woman who's been with me. 

How?