Staying Grounded

[BC]

The potential problems may indeed surface later after it is too late to avoid them. 

The proverbial box of chocolate that can take years to melt in your mouth.

Add a good portion of his midlife crisis followed later with a shot of her midlife crisis and you end up with a very challenging potion.. leaving you with that feeling of confusion whether to swallow or barf.. LOL

Cheers all.

 

[JR]

OK so some of my reasons.

A. As GOB stated the 40 to 50 lbs. Personally I am not attracted to obesity and America is the most overwieght nation on Earth. To counter that thought I do have to say that RW/UW have the same potential to baloon as AW. My ex did and then she got control over it and actually looked her best at the end.

B. American women are materialistic. So are FSUW. Place an FSU woman into the '
American pressure cooker of consumerism and she will be influenced by it. It is a natural process to become like your surroundings.

C. AW in my age bracket are bitter. It was pointed out by an FSU women in another thread that FSUW are esssentially the same. They've been thru it all the same as AW have, maybe even worse. My ex related to me time and again how every male in her family had cheated on their wives.

D. AW carry a lot of baggage.

[Sculpto]

Gator,
I didn't mean it to come off as score keeping.  What I mean is I just became sick of giving and giving and realizing I was getting very little in return.  You know that feeling when you live with a woman yet feel more lonely thatn you would if you lived alone.  KNowing that to even get a little attention required giving a lot of it.  Feeling manipulated all the time.  Its just not how I want to live.  I would rather be alone.

Also, for those that are warning about negatives with FSUW showing up later, as in things overlooked because of language or whatever.. the same thing can and does happen with local women even if you do speak the same language.  I do not see this specific risk as any greater with a foreign woman than with a local.  In fact, I think AW are far more likely to walk away from commitments than women from almost any other culture in the world.  American men might be guilty of the same thing.. therre is a strong "friends come and go" mentality in the US that I do not believe exists in a lot of other places.

[JR]

Hmm, interesting KenC. FSU Women want to be weak. I think I have to agree with you. A couple days ago I recieved an email form a young lady who is raising two kids and runninga sucessful business. One of the things she said is that she was tired of being the boss and wanted to get married and become 'weak.'

[KenC]

Hmm, interesting KenC. FSU Women want to be weak. I think I have to agree with you. A couple days ago I recieved an email form a young lady who is raising two kids and runninga sucessful business. One of the things she said is that she was tired of being the boss and wanted to get married and become 'weak.'

JR,
I don't know if I would use the word "weak", but they want a man to lean on a bit.
KenC

[emc]

That’s true we really want to be “weak” but not all of us have such an opportunity. Living in Ukraine, you never know what will be tomorrow, we even cannot plan anything. It seems to me we are more family oriented, and we work, and take care of our families, and try to look good and be in a shape. I remember my mom’s words “ One marriage, and one husband, no matter what is going on” among my friends I do not know any woman who was divorced without very very serious reasons. We always try to save families no matter how hard sometimes it could be.

[Gator]

My opinions, YMMV:

To counter that thought I do have to say that RW/UW have the same potential to baloon as AW. My ex did and then she got control over it and actually looked her best at the end.

Maybe she knew that the marriage was over and she had to get back in shape to catch another man.  My RW goes to the fitness club 3-4 times per week and watches her diet except for wine and chocolate.

American women are materialistic. So are FSUW.

On average, I found FSUW to be even more materialistic.

AW in my age bracket are bitter. It was pointed out by an FSU women in another thread that FSUW are esssentially the same.

RW your age can be bitter as I have met a few 40+yo who were.  Nevertheless,  I feel RW in general are less resentful and angry about men, still feeling that a good man is necessary and healthy, not just as a provider but as a complementary “ying yang” other half. 

They've been thru it all the same as AW have, maybe even worse.
 

Worse, much worse when you consider the economic turmoil most 30+ yo FSUW have experienced.  That is why if you find an optimistic RW, especially over 35-yo, you have found a winner.

My ex related to me time and again how every male in her family had cheated on their wives.
 

Cheating is so frequent that RW seemed resigned to it as the way of men.  Doesn’t it take two to cheat?
 

AW carry a lot of baggage.
 

Define “baggage.”  RW are usually solvent. Yet, RW have families that will need some form of support.  And RW generally are not positive income producers.  If you mean psychological baggage, I would say “no difference,” perhaps worse with FSUW.  Being a stoic culture, they keep it internal.

[Sculpto]

Gator mostly hit the nail right on the head.. here are a few add-ons..

On average, I found FSUW to be even more materialistic.

I think it is a different kind of materialism.  AW can be materialistic in the sense of being entitled to everything where FSUW seem to be making up for lost time.  One is "I deserve" the other is "I want".  While the "I want" category may be more aggresive relative to the providing man, it is also somehow more honest and so far in my limited experience more appreciative.

RW your age can be bitter as I have met a few 40+yo who were.  Nevertheless,  I feel RW in general are less resentful and angry about men, still feeling that a good man is necessary and healthy, not just as a provider but as a complementary “ying yang” other half. 

People can be bitter.  I do no thtink it is fair to single out women in this topic.  People in their 20s still think they rule the world.  In their 30's they realized someone else owns the world and they have gotten some knock downs to soften idealism.  IN the 40's it seems people either begin to break down and resent their past, or, they find new inner strength and evolve.  I do not think it has anything to do with gender.

Worse, much worse when you consider the economic turmoil most 30+ yo FSUW have experienced.  That is why if you find an optimistic RW, especially over 35-yo, you have found a winner.

Ahh, key point here.  I agree that a 35+ FSUW would rank high on the desirability chart, but, an AW of the same age bracket may have developed a victim mentality, especially if never married by that age.  Where an FSUW would probably keep it to herself, I am pretty sure we all know how AWs who believe they have suffered and are victims are.  Cranky and whining typically, and +40-50 and thinking that big is beautiful because Oprah told them its ok to be fat because god made them fat and fat is beautiful.
 

Cheating is so frequent that RW seemed resigned to it as the way of men.  Doesn’t it take two to cheat?

but doesn't the "Stud and slut" dichotomy apply here?  Married man has a mistress and he is a stud.. married woman has a lover and she is a slut or whore...

I do want to mention the time I was with the French woman.  French men, according to her, are notorious for having lovers outside the relationship and French women expect it.  In my case she was soooo jealous that she suspected every female friend or client i had.  In the end it was she who cheated in the relationship.. to beat me to the beat down I guess.  So, my question is.. how similiar is the dynamic that I lived through to what FSUW feel about their men?
 

Define “baggage.”  RW are usually solvent. Yet, RW have families that will need some form of support.  And RW generally are not positive income producers.  If you mean psychological baggage, I would say “no difference,” perhaps worse with FSUW.  Being a stoic culture, they keep it internal.

I dont know if "keeping it in" is good or not.  That would be one for the psychologists to verify.  But, I think it can be a jumping off point for cultural misunderstanding.  Americans can tell a complete stranger their whole life story in an elevator ride or standing in line at Starbucks.  This might not be sucha great thing either and can be annoying or uncomfortable for other people.  But, locking things up and acting as if they never happened can be explosive because sooner or later the damn will burst.  I would also say it may draw some men into a lull of complacency because they may not even be really aware their beloved is having a problem.

Hey.. a bit off topic.. but last night I was with a group of guys from a bunch of different states.  All the guys were in their 40's.  * went to dinner.  Anyway, the topic of marriage came up.  One guy is married to a Filipina he met through an agency.. 8 years and strong.. four other guys knew at least one person who married a Russian woman.. all those marriage still going strong.  One guy works at Honeywell and spoke at length about many men who had to work in Russia and all of whom came back married.  Apparently there is a strong AM+RW community at that company. with literally dozens of families.  I mention it because we don't hear enough about the success stories.. but.. I got  alot of encouragement last night so I thought it was worth sharing.

[kievstar]

Scultpto - Honeywell men marry women all over the world.  I got recruited long ago by Honeywell and basically work for companies run by ex Honeywell / GE guys.  You can bounce around companies as many Board Directors come from these two companies. 

The reason is that when you are a raising executive in big profitable companies you have to move around the globe.  AW do not like it.  My ex wife would not do it.  Most RW will do it as long as the family stays strong.  Asians as well. 

Most of these guys have remarried with foreign wives from Brazil, Asia, and Eastern Europe leading the way because these women will move around. I would say Asian girls lead the way mainly due to the higher % of expats in Asia compared to Eastern Europe.  Once I got married this past March have already been called by several companies to setup in Moscow for them or Qatar.  But I am going to be a good husband and setup in Tampa I think.  I know at some companies if your an AM and married AW your career is limited as they will not pick you for the overseas assignments you need to advance.  Gets messy with international divorces with Americans.

[Aloe]

Jolly, what did you mean by the topic name anyway? Does it mean you canceled your moscow trip?

[KievHarmony]

 

On average, I found FSUW to be even more materialistic.

I would say realistic..

[Stix]

I haven't given up on AWs but I did want to try something new-and like some of you the weight issue was one big motivation. I noticed when I went to South America 25 years ago (not sure what things are like there now) where the women mostly walked to get where they were going and didn't consume a lot of fast food, they had nicer figures, legs in particular- not skinny mind you, just well proportioned. Also correct me if I am wrong but isn't a concern for fitness a remnant of the Soviet period?

But there does seem to be a difference in some attitudes as well. There are fewer americans who look forward to getting married at a relatively young age (early twenties.

[Daveman]

Because there is no economic leverage around the corner.

That would depend entirely upon which corner you live! 

Of course that has been one of the points of debate here for years, at least for as long as I've been around and in threads prior to the blessing of my arrival (taking bows, thank you, thank you, no applause please... ).

It a tough point to debate really because unless a guy is chasing after an independently wealthy FSU lady, this perceived "leverage" will be present in every single case and therefore inseparable for further analysis but rather to forever remain a construct of conjecture unless one day the playing field equalizes. 

It certainly exists in the perception of a multitude of the breast coveting, ass drooling idiots which are in this pursuit. 

Would I leverage my financial situation to catch a hot babe? not a chance in hell....

Would I move the entire world for my special woman? you bet your ass I would. 

It can be argued that any of theses relationships are a product of financial leveraging.

[Ooooops]

Guys, why do you attribute word "bitter" only to opinions about men?    Am I missing something in translation?   

[JR]

Jolly, what did you mean by the topic name anyway? Does it mean you canceled your moscow trip?

Sorry Aloe. It's an American saying. It means I want to be realistic about what I am doing and why and I am doing it. I don't want to go off into a dream world.