Hellow and looking for advice

[ECOCKS]

Back to the original question:

"I'm thinking "great!!" but I'm having thoughts about dropping the $2400 it would take to get her here. I mean I can afford it but that's a lot of money for something that has happened so fast (We've only been talking for a few days and only one phone call)." - James OP

He also mentioned that while she has not asked for money yet, he suspects she is too embarassed to do so.

He is having thoughts about the wisdom of spending that much money bringing someone halfway around the world. Your self-example only concerns and airplane ticket to Moscow from within Russia. I commented that I wouldn't think it would cost anywhere near that much.

From our side it is assessing the risk of losing/wasting $2400 versus our desires and hopes for the relationship to be "real". James knows this, that's why he asked for advice. Everyone was just venturing their opinion for his situation but now folks are branching off into their historical background.

[JamesDH]

Whoa..

Slow down everyone

It's a done deal. She's got the e-ticket and already went to the Korean Air ticket office to get help on boarding pass and seat assignment.

She's bombarded me with emails about what to bring. I said bring comfortable clothes, summer clothes. She asked what the temp is and I said it's about 25c and she said that's hot for Vlad so she will bring "sporty" clothes. She want's to eat BBQ at my brother's place and swim in the pool with the kids (he's got 5!)

I asked her if she was worried about anything and she said the main thing she is worried about is if I will like her in person.

I'm just not feeling any red flags but I'm still optimistically apprehensive.

I've got my fingers crossed and my mind open.
Stranger things have happened.

[SANDRO43]

Best of luck James, sounds mostly good overall, never mind the usual forum dynamics .

[ECOCKS]

........I'm still optimistically apprehensive.

I've got my fingers crossed and my mind open.
Stranger things have happened.

Ah, the heart of the tiger at war with the soul of the poet!

Best of Luck to you James! We are all rooting for you and hope it works out for the best.

[Sculpto]

James.. congrats on the ticket purchase!  I think you have confirmed she is not a scammer.

Now, I don't know if you have done a lot of internet dating or not.. but.. what happens if the lady arrives and you are not in the least interested in each other?

sorry for being negative.. but.. internet dating is full of potential pitfalls and what I wrote above is the biggest.  My dear Mother flew to meet men on three occasions before she learned her "lesson" and stopped doing foolish things.  Now its not you that needs a backup plan, but, the lady that is coming to visit you that does.  Power structure is completely changed for a first meeting.

[Faux Pas]

Whoa..

Slow down everyone

It's a done deal. She's got the e-ticket and already went to the Korean Air ticket office to get help on boarding pass and seat assignment.

She's bombarded me with emails about what to bring. I said bring comfortable clothes, summer clothes. She asked what the temp is and I said it's about 25c and she said that's hot for Vlad so she will bring "sporty" clothes. She want's to eat BBQ at my brother's place and swim in the pool with the kids (he's got 5!)

I asked her if she was worried about anything and she said the main thing she is worried about is if I will like her in person.

I'm just not feeling any red flags but I'm still optimistically apprehensive.

I've got my fingers crossed and my mind open.
Stranger things have happened.

I wish you the best of luck. I'm sure everyone here wishes you the best and sincerely hopes for you a match. If this situation pans out the way you hope it does, this will be the first visa situation meeting that I personally have heard of that wasn't a scam. Not to say there isn't others. So little time communicating seems as much a detriment as paying for airfare. I would guess it doubles the pressure on the first meeting.

There is another element that seems to have been overlooked by the posters here. Here is a lady flying to the other side of the world to stay with a man she doesn't know. It makes the whole situation very risky. The fantasy rarely lives up to the reality thus, making it vitally important to take the time to know all you possibly can in a short time (my guess 2-3 months) before the first meeting.

I really hope it works out for you both James. If it doesn't you'll have this to learn from and build on either way. Good Luck!

[ECOCKS]

I think we're talking 2-3 weeks since her visa expires on June 16th.

[JR]

I am just floored by the fact this Man was even remotely told to consider spending the money on buying her a ticket.

Maybe she's splitting it with SJ

If she calls from the airport and says she's been robbed/had and accident and needs money....RUN!

[Ooooops]

There is another element that seems to have been overlooked by the posters here. Here is a lady flying to the other side of the world to stay with a man she doesn't know. It makes the whole situation very risky.

What's the big deal?   She has her tickets and her documents, if she doesn't like the guy - she'll live early.   

Anyway, good luck, James!   Keep us posted!   

PS.  Oh, and it's not +25C in Houston in the summer, it's more like +35C.   

[OlgaH]

What's the big deal?   She has her tickets and her documents, if she doesn't like the guy - she'll live early.   

Agree, more over she is an adult woman with a good English and it is not her first trip to US.

[Faux Pas]

What's the big deal?   She has her tickets and her documents, if she doesn't like the guy - she'll live early.   

Anyway, good luck, James!   Keep us posted!   

PS.  Oh, and it's not +25C in Houston in the summer, it's more like +35C.   

No big deal for those not concerned. Personal preferences I suppose. I wouldn't want to meet a woman who would go half way around the world to meet a man she didn't know. I would think she was nuts and the odds that she is would quite good.

[Ooooops]

I wouldn't want to meet a woman who would go half way around the world to meet a man she didn't know. I would think she was nuts and the odds that she is would quite good.

But you OK with the idea of a man who would go half way around the world to meet a woman he didn't know (and not even speaking the language of the country he's visiting)?    Isn't it a bit bias?   

[Faux Pas]

But you OK with the idea of a man who would go half way around the world to meet a woman he didn't know (and not even speaking the language of the country he's visiting)?    Isn't it a bit bias?   

You seemed to have missed my point altogether. The answer is no "I" personally would not be okay with a man (speaking of myself) going across the globe to meet a woman he doesn't know. People do it and I'm okay with that. To each their own. I wouldn't or would I want a woman who would.

Ooooops you know as well as I, most people don't know each other in this pursuit when they first meet. But most have taken the time to learn as much as they can. A few days, couple of weeks for my taste, isn't enough. I wish both these people all the best and hope it works for them. History is not on their side but there are those that work despite the odds. 

[Ooooops]

Ooooops you know as well as I, most people don't know each other in this pursuit when they first meet. But most have taken the time to learn as much as they can. A few days, couple of weeks for my taste, isn't enough.

James and his lady-friend still have time before the actual meeting to learn more about each other.      I guess, I'm just quite adventurous myself, so I kinda expect it from other people as well.   

[Daveman]

But you OK with the idea of a man who would go half way around the world to meet a woman he didn't know (and not even speaking the language of the country he's visiting)?    Isn't it a bit bias?   

Not to split hairs in razoresque fashion, but there is a difference as I see it...

This woman is going to be staying with the man, as in - in his house.  That is a risky scenario for a woman IMO.

I would say the risk would not be the same for the man traveling and staying at the woman's flat (though not a wise idea). His biggest risk is being fed to death, I think.

all that being said, I would absolutely love it if a woman could visit me and stay in my house. I already know I am a lunatic so I'm not worried. :-)  But, what if she refused to leave?  I guess the old efferdent tablet in the mouth with a swig of water would work... at least that worked at chool.. not quicker way to get a woman out of a dorm room than to burst from the bathroom foaming at the mouth and growling.

[Ade]

Learn to quote properly and I may even answer you. 

Please point out the misrepresentation. You said you bought your fiancee's ticket before you met her. I asked you if you paid $2400. If not how much did you pay? Where's the misrepresentation or the infer? Simply answer the question or shut up about it. I haven't mention squat about sending her money. Please stay on topic.

Actually no. I realize you find this hard to believe but, the whole world isn't about "you". I've tried to point out to James the fallacy of your logic. Yet you seem to persist that it is logical but don't provide anything than your belief.
 
Good for you. I am glad it worked out for you.  I trust my judgement of people everyday. In fact I am trusting my judgement of you this very minute
Please find in that post a personal insult to you. I have tossed some out to you in the past and even in this thread as a rebuttal to your infantile remarks


It really is a shame that you are the only one with a little common sense. Perhaps you can excuse our ignorance. Nobody ever said they were absolutes. James doesn't know and he is the one talking with the woman whether it is a scam or not. The other "tibbits" of a positive nature were explained to James as well. You gave your opinion and James can weigh it with the rest of the information. Why do you have this need to disparage and ridicule others for giving solid advice? Can you ever respectfully disagree without the snide juvenile remarks?

I recall him stating he hasn't been to the FSU and this is his first foray with a RW. If I am wrong here, I stand corrected.

You did and I would if I actually cared but, I don't

[Ade]

I will borrow the SeriouslyJaded's words (if he lets me) - after speaking with each other for long enough to satisfy any of our concerns 

I don't know...  I guess if to sum all his expenses there will be 5 digits amount. No, I don't advise to follow to our example. As you said there are big boys who are able to think for themselves Robert and I both took a risk, especially when he gave me a cross pendant, a present from his father, and made his proposal and I accept it during our first meeting.   

Olga, you understand perfectly what I've been saying unlike others that are being deliberately obtuse due to their personal gripes with me.

[Ooooops]

Not to split hairs in razoresque fashion, but there is a difference as I see it...

This woman is going to be staying with the man, as in - in his house.  That is a risky scenario for a woman IMO.

I would say the risk would not be the same for the man traveling and staying at the woman's flat (though not a wise idea). His biggest risk is being fed to death, I think.

Depends on a woman...       

What is "efferdent tablet"?   Got to Google it... 

[Ade]

Depends on a woman...       

Yes, women can be as resourceful as any man and, to be honest, more than most men that I've met. That some are passing judgement on this woman because she wants to go visit this guy says more about them than the woman; a lot of guys that post here have double standards.

[Ooooops]

Yes, women can be as resourceful as any man and, to be honest, more than most men that I've met.

Exactly.   Especially "the older ones" who've been through "water, fire and brass pipes"...     

[Faux Pas]

Learn to quote properly and I may even answer you. 

Learn to quote properly? 
 

Quote THIS

[Ade]

Learn to quote properly? 
 

Quote THIS

Look, you obviously have a hard time being objective when you respond to me and I guess most of that is due to my "anti-American" comments as you like to call them rubbing your overly patriotic feelings up the wrong way. Why not put me on ignore and be done with it instead of making a fool of yourself by misrepresenting what I say all the time?

[Daveman]

Depends on a woman...       

What is "efferdent tablet"?   Got to Google it... 

These are tablets used for cleaning dentures that older people drop into a cup of water.. they foam up like crazy with the wild looking blue/green foam.  They taste absolutely terrible, but great for practical jokes. 

So James, keep us posted on the progress and how everything goes.  Good luck!   

[SANDRO43]

These are tablets used for cleaning dentures that older people drop into a cup of water.. they foam up like crazy with the wild looking blue/green foam. 

[Faux Pas]

Look, you obviously have a hard time being objective when you respond to me and I guess most of that is due to my "anti-American" comments as you like to call them rubbing your overly patriotic feelings up the wrong way.

So I can assume you have dropped your correct quote requirements?
 

Nice try at the red herring but I don't fall for it. If you don't want to answer the questions then don't. Back away and quit responding. You SJ are looking the fool with your asinine juvenile remarks. You accused and lied in your posts and I called you on it. No big deal. Your  attempt to demean solid advice is noted.

Why not put me on ignore and be done with it instead of making a fool of yourself by misrepresenting what I say all the time?

I don't ignore anyone as a preference. I would suggest that you ignore me. It is you that seems to can't quote or post to or about me without trying to be a d1ck. You have some serious issue with anyone who doesn't see things your way. You are incapable of respectfully disagreeing in your need to be right.