Hellow and looking for advice

[JamesDH]

Thanks for all the good thoughts and well wishes.

Not to worry.
I'm a gentleman and her stay here will be, at the worst, something to remember, in a good way of course.
Her risk level is very low unless she starts throwing things like the psycho woman (she is still emailing me and the last time I saw her was in November!)

She said she could only be gone from her job for 10 to 14 days so we settled on her being here 9 days. With two days travel that's right in her window.

It is a big adventure and I'm going to enjoy as much of it as I can. If there is a romantic connection, great. If not then great too. We'll have a good time visiting all the sights around Houston, sampling the good food and enjoying this beautiful weather we're having.

I have no doubt we will make memories.

James

[Enot]

So I can assume you have dropped your correct quote requirements?
 

Nice try at the red herring but I don't fall for it. If you don't want to answer the questions then don't. Back away and quit responding. You SJ are looking the fool with your asinine juvenile remarks. You accused and lied in your posts and I called you on it. No big deal. Your  attempt to demean solid advice is noted.

I don't ignore anyone as a preference. I would suggest that you ignore me. It is you that seems to can't quote or post to or about me without trying to be a d1ck. You have some serious issue with anyone who doesn't see things your way. You are incapable of respectfully disagreeing in your need to be right. 

I think that's enough name calling and attacking Fax.  Grow up and have a meaningful conversation for once.

[Ade]

Nice try at the red herring but I don't fall for it. If you don't want to answer the questions then don't. Back away and quit responding. You SJ are looking the fool with your asinine juvenile remarks. You accused and lied in your posts and I called you on it. No big deal. Your  attempt to demean solid advice is noted.

I'm curious are you old enough to be entering your second childhood? Your reality seems to be a different one than mine that's for sure. 

I don't ignore anyone as a preference. I would suggest that you ignore me. It is you that seems to can't quote or post to or about me without trying to be a d1ck. You have some serious issue with anyone who doesn't see things your way. You are incapable of respectfully disagreeing in your need to be right. 

Again, what reality are you living in? Or do you think that the insults you throw out are the epitome of good manners?

[Ooooops]

These are tablets used for cleaning dentures that older people drop into a cup of water.. they foam up like crazy with the wild looking blue/green foam.  They taste absolutely terrible, but great for practical jokes.     

Ouch!  Something worth looking forward to....   

[LiveFromUkraine]

Did you send her $2400? Would you have sent her $2400?
 

I sent my wife more than that prior to meeting her.  It really depends on your situation.  Not every situation will fit into your rules.

[Ade]

I sent my wife more than that prior to meeting her.  It really depends on your situation.  Not every situation will fit into your rules.

It's probably something I wouldn't do without some very clear extenuating circumstance but it just goes to show that all rules cannot fit every situation and each case has to be evaluated individually.

[Faux Pas]

I sent my wife more than that prior to meeting her.  It really depends on your situation.  Not every situation will fit into your rules.

This isn't my rule. I don't have rules pertaining to this. I was referring the OP to the forum #1 commandment. You sent your wife more money than this before meeting her after a few emails and a phone call? And you recommend newbies here asking for advice to do the same?

[Faux Pas]

It's probably something I wouldn't do without some very clear extenuating circumstance but it just goes to show that all rules cannot fit every situation and each case has to be evaluated individually.

Would you agree that when one pursues such a relationship with so little communication, the odds of it working out in fairy tale fashion would be the exception and not the norm? I have been a strong proponent for getting on the plane and getting over there. I am also a strong proponent that if the situation is reversed and she can come here, then great, get her here. But, know what you are getting into.

Why would this aspect of dating be treated any different that dating a woman from your own country? Would you send a lady in the next city $2400 you haven't met and you knew so little information about?

[LiveFromUkraine]

This isn't my rule. I don't have rules pertaining to this. I was referring the OP to the forum #1 commandment. You sent your wife more money than this before meeting her after a few emails and a phone call? And you recommend newbies here asking for advice to do the same?

Personally, I don't think the woman is a scammer from what has been shown.  Of course you are like the IRS, guilty before innocent.  I don't recommend anything since I don't know his situation nor the conversations the had.  I don't follow commandments on websites either.  I rely solely on my own instincts.


I think SJ had a some valid points in his posts.  It was a different view that the OP should take into consideration before making his decision.  If you weren't so hard up on the commandments of this site you may have been able to see them. 

Too many people on here are trying to dissect every little word.  I find it quite amusing at times with the Freud wannabes.   

[LiveFromUkraine]

It's probably something I wouldn't do without some very clear extenuating circumstance but it just goes to show that all rules cannot fit every situation and each case has to be evaluated individually.

It would depend on the situation.  It is hard to say from his posting.  There is nothing wrong with take his time if he has doubts. 

[LiveFromUkraine]

Would you agree that when one pursues such a relationship with so little communication, the odds of it working out in fairy tale fashion would be the exception and not the norm? I have been a strong proponent for getting on the plane and getting over there. I am also a strong proponent that if the situation is reversed and she can come here, then great, get her here. But, know what you are getting into.

Why would this aspect of dating be treated any different that dating a woman from your own country? Would you send a lady in the next city $2400 you haven't met and you knew so little information about?

If I would have told you what happened when I met my wife, you would have told me she was a scammer and to run away.  It would be a shame since she is the best thing that ever happened to me.  Hopefully people on here can think for themselves and not take too much advice from people they never met.  If these guys can't figure a lot of this stuff out for themselves then they deserve the consequences.

[Enot]

Yes, every foreign relationship I know of isn't without red flags.  Sometimes guys just don't recognize them but they are there.  You just have to be patient and try to learn the truth.  Then accept or reject based on your findings or gut feeling. 

Finding a good woman who you are compatible with is a crap shoot.  It doesn't matter if you are trying internationally or domestic.  Many people rush into a relationship or marriage without seeing or acknowledging red flags.

[Ade]

Would you agree that when one pursues such a relationship with so little communication, the odds of it working out in fairy tale fashion would be the exception and not the norm? I have been a strong proponent for getting on the plane and getting over there. I am also a strong proponent that if the situation is reversed and she can come here, then great, get her here. But, know what you are getting into.

Why would this aspect of dating be treated any different that dating a woman from your own country? Would you send a lady in the next city $2400 you haven't met and you knew so little information about?

Some people can live with their partner for years and still not know hardly anything about them while other people are more astute and can pick up volumes from a quick conversation. We aren't all built the same when it comes to social skills and who am I to say someone's ability to evaluate person from a conversation isn't as good or better than mine especially when I'm not privy to that conversation first hand?

So, shallow generalisations such as the one you cite above just don't apply unequivocally for all situations although, yes, as a rule of thumb they are a good starting point. But, like all generalizations, it shouldn't be applied without taking into consideration other factors like, for instance, an opinion derived from a conversation on the phone.

Would there have been less risk of a wasted ticket if he'd booked it for himself to go there? Well, I'd say that the risk was equal that she wouldn't show up; some of you have said, "well at least he would get a holiday there if that happened" and that is all well and good but only if he wanted that without someone to visit lined up. Not all guys are into doing the local agency rounds. And if he'd delayed it she could have moved on thinking he was a keyboard Romeo and not serious or she may not have appreciated his distrust. There are a lot of ifs and maybes and they all carry a risk.

I guess for you the risk he chose was far in excess of the risks in his other options, for him, well, I guess it wasn't. Given a similar situation, I'm not 100% sure what I would do but I do know that landing in Vladivostok with a no show wouldn't be my idea of a trip to Disneyland.

And btw, you again mention sending $2400; this is not the same as sending a non-transferable, non-refundable e-ticket. All scammers would want the $2400 cash, relatively few want a ticket to an arbitrary place in the US and most would disappear when it was offered. But even so, you've already heard that some people have sent money to women they've never met; sure the risk is high but again there can be mitigating factors.

Now I'm done with this thread.

[Enot]

Some people can live with their partner for years and still not know hardly anything about them ...

Agree 100% SJ and something I've been preaching for years.  That's why I say any relationship/marriage is a crap shoot.   No one is astute enough or can remove themselves far enough from a sitiuation to catch all the red flags or problems that may occur in a relationship/marriage.

[JamesDH]

The adventure begins...

Just got off the phone and she's headed to the airport.

I will post the rest of the saga in Trip Report.

James

[ECOCKS]

Best of Luck James!

Ride the tiger!

[Ade]

The adventure begins...

Just got off the phone and she's headed to the airport.

I will post the rest of the saga in Trip Report.

James

Cool dude. Hope it works out well for you.

[Daveman]

The adventure begins...

Just got off the phone and she's headed to the airport.

I will post the rest of the saga in Trip Report.

James

James,
Did this woman show up?   

[ECOCKS]

Oh, the suspense!   :noidea:

[Shadow]

Oh, the suspense!   :noidea:

Give them time to check out the new floor.

[Sculpto]

in this case I think no news is good news

[JR]

in this case I think no news is good news

NO! I want the REAL news ! ! !

[Sculpto]

why are you still here?  shouldn't you been in Moscow by now? 

[JR]

Had to cancel

Court date of June 8th and while I would be back in time I wouldn't be ready, me no go till after. My daughter take priority.
My visa is valid until the end of June so I'll try to make it before then.

[Sculpto]

probably a smart move.. nevertheless I hope Lily kicked your arse for standing her up.