freaking out a little about moving...

[Aloe]

so, next week i'm moving to Belgium to be with my love, and frankly it has just started to dawn on me lately, that this is it, it is real and it is happening, so i'm starting to get scared a little. I'll have to learn 2 new languages and only after that can i finish my education, so i guess that means it'll be like 10 years before i can "intergrate", and this is a very scary thought. It's funny i never really talked to people from non english speaking countries on those dating websites, because english is the only foreign language i know, but how it turned out in life, that my fiance is from belgium, and those bastards have 2 different languages! What a pain ! I do like learning a new language, but i do not like that i HAVE to. And that it's whole 2 languages, not just 1 And that 1 of those languages is so useless because only like 28 mil people in the world speak it, seems like such a waste of brain space. Maybe i could convince my fiance to move to, say, Australia If those 10 cm cockroaches they have there aren't as scary as they look...
and to top it off, we have very little money, so i can't just relax and see what it is i wanna do with my life, because i still haven't figured that one out for myself, i mean it's obvious i wanna be with my man, but what do i wanna do professionally?
And to add even more worries, i read the flemish belgians(where we will live) are mostly xenophobic and dislike all the foreigners who move to belgium, i'm reading lots of bad stuff on russians in belgium forums.. All this altogether at once seems so overwhelming.. I really hope it's not gonna be as bad as it's beginning to sound in my head... I love my fiance very much and wanna be with him, and it makes me very happy  to think we will be together soon, but when i think of all those problems we and me especially are gonna face, it's really scary !!!!

[Shadow]

Its very normal to be scared when you start packing. Don't let it stop you.

Regarding the language, from first-hand experience I can tell you that a lot of the Flemish people speak English, which means that if you are lazy you will not learn anything. It will be harder to survive with just English in Russia as it is in Belgium.
Integration will be much quicker as you think.

As a 'foreigner' here, I have not met people being xenophobic once we found our house.
There are people who are not exactly happy with foreigners, but mostly that is directed towards people who come to Belgium to take advantage of the system.

Remember that if you read bad stories on a forum, a lot of the good stories are never told. 

[Ade]

Aloe,

yes, it's a daunting thought to uproot your life and move to another country but not nearly as daunting in reality especially if you have a partner to stand by your side and help you through this. The Belgians are fine, don't let a few stereotypes worry you too much.

You are both young and educated so there's nothing stopping you from moving around Europe and finding another place to live if you wish; once you're married, you should both even be able to work in the UK. Yeah, I know but there are worse places and they do speak English there. Or is you fiancé committed to living in his home country?

One thing; really try not to let the stresses of relocation negatively impact on your relationship.

[Aloe]

As a 'foreigner' here, I have not met people being xenophobic once we found our house.
There are people who are not exactly happy with foreigners, but mostly that is directed towards people who come to Belgium to take advantage of the system.

but you are a native dutch speaker, maybe that's why

[Shadow]

but you are a native dutch speaker, maybe that's why

Don't forget that MrsShadow is from Russia and still speaks mostly English 

[Aloe]

Aloe,

yes, it's a daunting thought to uproot your life and move to another country but not nearly as daunting in reality especially if you have a partner to stand by your side and help you through this. The Belgians are fine, don't let a few stereotypes worry you too much.

You are both young and educated so there's nothing stopping you from moving around Europe and finding another place to live if you wish; once you're married, you should both even be able to work in the UK. Yeah, I know but there are worse places and they do speak English there. Or is you fiancé committed to living in his home country?

One thing; really try not to let the stresses of relocation negatively impact on your relationship.

Thanks, i won't let it affect our relationship, i think.
I'm not sure if he's up for moving, he needs to get some work experience first anyway.

[Aloe]

Don't forget that MrsShadow is from Russia and still speaks mostly English 

where in Belgium do you live? We gonna live next to Sint-truiden

[KievHarmony]

so, next week i'm moving to Belgium to be with my love, and frankly it has just started to dawn on me lately, that this is it, it is real and it is happening, so i'm starting to get scared a little. I'll have to learn 2 new languages and only after that can i finish my education, so i guess that means it'll be like 10 years before i can "intergrate", and this is a very scary thought. It's funny i never really talked to people from non english speaking countries on those dating websites, because english is the only foreign language i know, but how it turned out in life, that my fiance is from belgium, and those bastards have 2 different languages! What a pain ! I do like learning a new language, but i do not like that i HAVE to. And that it's whole 2 languages, not just 1 And that 1 of those languages is so useless because only like 28 mil people in the world speak it, seems like such a waste of brain space. Maybe i could convince my fiance to move to, say, Australia If those 10 cm cockroaches they have there aren't as scary as they look...
and to top it off, we have very little money, so i can't just relax and see what it is i wanna do with my life, because i still haven't figured that one out for myself, i mean it's obvious i wanna be with my man, but what do i wanna do professionally?
And to add even more worries, i read the flemish belgians(where we will live) are mostly xenophobic and dislike all the foreigners who move to belgium, i'm reading lots of bad stuff on russians in belgium forums.. All this altogether at once seems so overwhelming.. I really hope it's not gonna be as bad as it's beginning to sound in my head... I love my fiance very much and wanna be with him, and it makes me very happy  to think we will be together soon, but when i think of all those problems we and me especially are gonna face, it's really scary !!!!

Hello, I live in Quebec, Canada but I am half flemish/french. I moved to Canada 10 years ago. About being xenophobic, don't believe this and discover by yourself. I was told the same about Quebec and this is really the opposite. There are is a minority of moron but there are everywhere..

When I moved from my country here, there was 5 main phases. And it seems that all people leaving their country are living the same...
1) You are extremely happy.
2- Date of departure is very close, you start to be worried.
3 - You discover the new place, all is wonderful (short time)
4 - You start to regret your home country and are not able to see the good thing in your new place, you put emphasis on everything which is bad. Usually it will happen after 3 months-6 months and will stay during 3-6 months. This is the phase that will determine if you will stay or not...This is the more though time and you must keep your will.
5) After this time, you will integrate yourself in the new country if all is good, leave in the other case.

ps: Ask him to move to Quebec, Canada in a few years (you need to have at least one year of work experience to apply for a permanent visa). This province is very close to Belgium:

- We have a queen at the head at the state
- We are only 7 millions of people but we manage to have conflict about language (french /english)
- We have very good beer

More seriously:

- Immigration is easy (at least not difficult)
- The place is beautiful and people very nice

Good luck to you !

[Aloe]

thanks KievHarmony, my fiance's 1st language is dutch(flemish) and he wouldn't wanna move to a french speaking place. And i personally find australia more appealing Something about the idea of living in a resort area.. But all the supersized bugs make me doubt the idea. My fiance did mention moving somewhere once as a possibility, but when i asked about it later he said he wasn't sure he can leave all his family behind.

[kievstar]

Aloe,

I would not worry about what you read on forums about Russians in Belgium's.  You can find any bad stuff you want to find on the internet.  

My experience in living in many countries is the following - do not care what others think.  If you do, you will go crazy.  Some people will not like you, some people will like you, and some people could care less.  Culture shock will hit you.  It is normal.  Just remember you left your country to be with your future husband.  But culture shock goes away.  Your future husband will be with you the rest of your life.

Regarding money your future husband is 26 years old right?  It is normal you do not have money. Money does not buy happiness. If he was rich at this age, probably would not make a good husband.  Best husbands earn their money legally.

You do not have to learn any new language for work.  You will easily find work knowing Russian and English.  Regarding school - what schooling do you have left?

[Aloe]

Aloe,

I would not worry about what you read on forums about Russians in Belgium's.  You can find any bad stuff you want to find on the internet.  

My experience in living in many countries is the following - do not care what others think.  If you do, you will go crazy.  Some people will not like you, some people will like you, and some people could care less.  Culture shock will hit you.  It is normal.  Just remember you left your country to be with your future husband.  But culture shock goes away.  Your future husband will be with you the rest of your life.

Regarding money your future husband is 26 years old right?  It is normal you do not have money. Money does not buy happiness. If he was rich at this age, probably would not make a good husband.  Best husbands earn their money legally.

You do not have to learn any new language for work.  You will easily find work knowing Russian and English.  Regarding school - what schooling do you have left?

it's not what they think, it's how they treat me But i have good hopes and i'm friendly, so i hope it's gonna be ok.
That's interesting news that i don't need dutch or french for work, the only job ads in english i found are for specialists, and they still require speaking either dutch or french or both, all the rest job ads are in dutch and french. What kind of job could i get? I studied english (being an interpreter) in a russian university, but i decided that being an interprter isn't something i wanna do so i quit, so i guess i need to start over, find something i wanna study and start from scratch. The only english language program i found that doesn't cost a gazillion euro a year is bachelor of business administration, but then again, i don't know if that's something i'd like.

[SANDRO43]

Aloe, I don't want to pry, but I don't recall you mentioning what your fiancé's occupation is. That may have an influence on your own study/career decisions .

[Aloe]

Aloe, I don't want to pry, but I don't recall you mentioning what your fiancé's occupation is. That may have an influence on your own study/career decisions .

he is a programmer, i definitely do not want to be a software programmer maybe website programming, but all the study programs are in dutch
forgot to say, there's also a bachelor degree in philosophy and theology available in english, but that's definitely not interesting to me

[Shadow]

where in Belgium do you live? We gonna live next to Sint-truiden

We are living in Ham, abut 30 Km North 

[Aloe]

We are living in Ham, abut 30 Km North 

Ham? lol, nice name. 30 km north of sint-truiden? that's cool, maybe we can be friends

[GoodOlBoy]

Hello ALOE.

I know this is a little  , BUT.......Please come back to RWD in the future and post some of your experiences after you settle in Belgium.

OK?

As far as a young RW's opinion goes, I have enjoyed your insights/posts.  

Good Luck.


GOB

[Ooooops]

Just to cheer you up   

Дневник канадского эмигранта

15-е августа
Вот мы и в Канаде!!! Я очарован этой страной! Здесь восхитительно! Горы так прекрасны. С нетерпением жду, когда увижу их покрытыми снегом.

14-е октября
КАНАДА! Это самое чудесное место на земле! Листья на деревьях пожелтели и приобрели все оттенки спектра, от красного до оранжевого. Вчера совершил увлекательную поездку за город, в сельскую местность. Вы не поверите! Видел диких оленей! На воле они так красивы и грациозны. Поистине, это самые очаровательные животные на планете. Ну, просто милашки! Нет, здесь, действительно, рай!

11-е ноября
Скоро открывается сезон охоты на оленей. Это ужасно! Не могу себе представить, что у кого-то может подняться рука на это милое, безобидное создание. Со дня на день ожидаем снег. Мне здесь нравится!

2-е декабря
Наконец то! Этой ночью выпал снег. УРА!!! Проснувшись поутру, мы обнаружили очаровательную картину за окном. Всё покрыто белоснежным, пушистым покрывалом. Вид, как на удивительной рождественской открытке! Я восхищён! Мы с женой радостно выбежали из дому, и, быстренько очистив крыльцо и парковку перед домом, с хохотом стали кидаться снежками. (Я победил). Внезапно снегоочиститель проехал мимо нас, завалив всю парковку снегом. Но это не расстроило нас, и я быстренько откидал снег обратно. Как здесь хорошо! Я люблю Канаду!

12-е декабря
Этой ночью опять выпал снег. Снегоочиститель повторил свою выходку и завалил парковку.

19-е декабря
Опять шел снег этой ночью. Я так и не смог очистить парковку и уехать на работу. Здесь конечно великолепно, но я уже обессилел, постоянно очищая парковку от снега. Идиотский снегоочиститель!

22-е декабря
Опять ночью падала эта белая мерзость! Я заработал кровавые волдыри на руках и постоянную боль в пояснице, от бесконечной чистки снега. Такое впечатление, что этот дятел на снегоочистителе прячется за углом и только и ждёт, когда я откидаю снег с парковки. ЖОПА!!!

25-е декабря
МЭРРИ ФАКЕН КРИСМАС! Опять этот грёбаный снег!!! Только бы добраться до горла того сукина сына, который на снегоочистителе. Клянусь, задушил бы урода!!! И потом, почему городские службы не рассыпают соль на обледенелых дорогах? Вчера шел и чуть не убился.

27-е декабря
Ночью снова выпало это белое говно!!! Третий день сижу дома, за исключением вылазок для очистки парковки после снегоочистителя. Не могу никуда выбраться. Машина исчезла под горой этой белой дряни! И как же зверски холодно! Мужик из бюро прогноза по ящику обещает ещё 20 сантиметров белого говна этой ночью. КОЗЁЛ!!! А ты знаешь, сколько лопат снега составят эти 20 сантиметров???

28-е декабря
Этот козел из бюро прогнозов ошибся! Выпало 50 сантиметров. Похоже, этот б...кий снег не растает до лета. Снегоочиститель застрял возле нашего дома, и этот урод водитель прибежал к нам с просьбой одолжить лопату. Я сказал ему, что сломал шесть лопат, откидывая то белое дерьмо, которым он заваливал нашу парковку, и сейчас поломаю седьмую об его баранью башку.

4-е января
Сегодня, наконец-то, выбрался из дому!!! Поехал в магазин закупить харчей. И вот, на обратном пути вылетает на дорогу эта скотина - олень и расшибает копытами весь передок машины. Ущерба на три тысячи долларов!!! Ну почему эти говнюки охотники не поубивали этих паскуд в ноябре? Эти твари (олени) везде и повсюду. Что б их разорвало, ублюдков!

3-е мая
Отвез машину в мастерскую. Вы не поверите, но эта лоханка успела проржаветь напрочь от соли, которую козлы из городских служб сыпали на дороги.

10-е мая
Всё! Уезжаю во Флориду. Не могу себе представить, что кто-нибудь, находясь в здравом рассудке, пожелает жить в этой грёбаной Канаде!

[Aloe]

thanks, i will
i'm probably gonna have lots of free time at first anyway
Ooops, yeah, that's an oldie but goodie

[I/O]

Aloe: Not much I can say the will actually help. I understand, I watched (Metaphorically speaking) Mrs I/O go through EXACTLY the same thing. It grieved me to watch. What I couldn't tell her was that I was going through some of the same believe it or not as I suspect your finace' is also.

A very simple piece of advice, too simple to register for many. When you arrive, within 24 hours, get into a walking routine, 3 times per day. Be religious about it. Not simply strolling, a meaningful walk. It does several things, you learn the new geography, you get to clear your head from the house, you observe, your butt stays in good shape and it is something you feel "on top of". I think the last is of no small significance.

Racial bigotry will effect him as much or more than you. Stand your ground, never react and be a person who is admired. You will win in the end. BTW, the bugs down here are not as big as you think, some are bigger . Your comments remind me of the story told to the visitor when he asked if there were any sharks in a particular swimming hole, he was advised no and dived in, as he exited he asked again, are you sure there is no sharks in there, the local repeated, no sharks in there..........................since the crocodiles ate them all.

I/O

[SANDRO43]

he is a programmer, i definitely do not want to be a software programmer maybe website programming, but all the study programs are in dutch

Aloe, SW programming is a career that often offers job opportunities abroad .

As for website programming, it's not enormously difficult and you could even start experimenting on your own, there are lots of aids available on the Internet and probably also online courses, mostly in English. Your fiancé could also help you there, by explaining what you may not understand initially. Formal courses are not necessarily the only way to learn a trade.

Who knows, some years hence you two might even end up setting up an independent SW business .

[Aloe]

A very simple piece of advice, too simple to register for many. When you arrive, within 24 hours, get into a walking routine, 3 times per day. Be religious about it. Not simply strolling, a meaningful walk. It does several things, you learn the new geography, you get to clear your head from the house, you observe, your butt stays in good shape and it is something you feel "on top of". I think the last is of no small significance.

Within 24 hours of my arrival is our wedding  Cuz i have a tourist visa, there's still a chance they gonna try to kick me out of the country, but i read if they tell you to leave to apply for reunion from outside the country, you can hire a lawyer and not have to leave, cuz there's no law making you leave to apply for reunion, you can apply from inside the country.
That's a good advice about walking, i was thinking something along those lines, and maybe bring a camera with me too. But 3 times a day seems like a lot Maybe better once a day for a few hours

[Aloe]

Aloe, SW programming is a career that often offers job opportunities abroad .

As for website programming, it's not enormously difficult and you could even start experimenting on your own, there are lots of aids available on the Internet and probably also online courses, mostly in English. Your fiancé could also help you there, by explaining what you may not understand initially. Formal courses are not necessarily the only way to learn a trade.

Who knows, some years hence you two might even end up setting up an independent SW business .

i made a website for my dad http://www.aisb.ru/ but i kinda suck at graphics, so no laughing
study programs help tremendously in self-discipline area

[Shadow]

Ham? lol, nice name. 30 km north of sint-truiden? that's cool, maybe we can be friends

We might be too old for you  
But if you want we can meet up some time.

[kievstar]

Aloe,

Regarding what you want to do for career I would advise you not to go to school to figure it out.  If you want we can icq to figure it out. I did this couple weeks ago with a UW who married an AM and has lived in the USA for awhile.  Turns out her true love is fitness trainer / gym manager.  Had her lined up to run a gym for some private owners for a franchise for snap.  Husband preferred her more of a fitness trainer.  So that is what she is going to do.  She lives in a small town area and I warned them that this business may put the other gyms out of business and cause a small town uproar.  That was main reason fitness trainer made sense. 

Really think what you like doing - and do not worry about money.  Money can be made in any field you love doing. 

To bad you do not like being an interpreter - Brussels is the best place in Europe for your language skills right now with the EU and Russia. 

[OlgaH]

Just to cheer you up   

Ooooops, thanks, you made my day