Introducing a friend

[Sculpto]

So, I am posting here to introduce a lady friend from my vkonakte account.  She has some questions about the man she met and I think the forum can help her figure some things out.

So, I pass the "microphone" now to our new member, Silvia1989.

[Sculpto]

OK, my friend is being really shy and asked me to post the basics..

She is 20 and from Lugansk.  The man is 40 and from Texas.  He has been to visit her twice.  Stayed for a rather long period.  Met family and friends.

He asked her to come on K1.  Her doubts are coming from the following..

The guy apparently doesn't work.. claims to own a business at which all his family members are working a lot.  He is claiming to have a lot of money but doesn't work at all.  Normal investigative procedures turn up absolutely nothing.. as if he doesn't even exist.  This is causing her doubts..

So.. what do you guys think?

Silvia1989 has promised to answer questions.. but she needs a bit of coaxing to speak up. 

[Blues Fairy]

Has he proposed, or just wants to pursue the K1 as a trial period?

I would advise her to apply for a B-1/2 and go visit first.  It's doable.

In any case, when compiling the K1 package (a copy of which she's supposed to receive for her reference) he'll have to provide his financial information. 

[Shadow]

Question 1:
How does she know he does not work at all ?

Question 2:
Did he spend money on her and the family during the visits or did she pay for him ?

Question 3:
What if he does have a business, but he is not loaded, will she refuse to be with him ?

[Sculpto]

Has he proposed, or just wants to pursue the K1 as a trial period?

I would advise her to apply for a B-1/2 and go visit first.  It's doable.

In any case, when compiling the K1 package (a copy of which she's supposed to receive for her reference) he'll have to provide his financial information. 

Sorry she is really shy.. so I will answer for her..

He did propose.  He says has told her it is not possible to get the B1.  He is also insisting she quit Uni to come to him.

[Sculpto]

Question 1:
How does she know he does not work at all ?

Question 2:
Did he spend money on her and the family during the visits or did she pay for him ?

Question 3:
What if he does have a business, but he is not loaded, will she refuse to be with him ?

1.  He told her he doesn't work and spends most of his time playing video games.

2.  He was in Ukraine for 2 months the first time.  Her family thought it was strange that he could do that.  They are not from Lugansk proper, but from a village in the Oblast.

3.  From what I learned in further discussions her bigger issues are not the lack for trust about his claims about money and work, but rather that he is immature and acts like a child.. playing video games all day long and certain intimate demands that are making her uncomfortable. 

[Blues Fairy]

Sorry she is really shy.. so I will answer for her..
He did propose.  He says has told her it is not possible to get the B1.  He is also insisting she quit Uni to come to him.

I think it's really time she overcame her shyness and started asking him some more serious questions. So far this guy sounds a bit too controlling and unpredictable for comfort.
How's her English?

[Misha]

Seems to me, simply based on what you have told us, that the most logical action to take is to not go until she is certain that she wants to spend a lifetime with him. She clearly does not know him enough, and what she does know is making her uncomfortable.

[Shadow]

1.  He told her he doesn't work and spends most of his time playing video games.

2.  He was in Ukraine for 2 months the first time.  Her family thought it was strange that he could do that.  They are not from Lugansk proper, but from a village in the Oblast.

3.  From what I learned in further discussions her bigger issues are not the lack for trust about his claims about money and work, but rather that he is immature and acts like a child.. playing video games all day long and certain intimate demands that are making her uncomfortable. 

1. What evidence is there that he tels the truth ?

2. I asked about his spending pattern, not about the time he was there. Did he have an apartment in this time, did he go to restaurants ?

Did she answer to his proposal or not ? Just to know if this is 'cold feet' or that the issues she feels he has were enough to not accept his proposal.

[Show Time]

What city in Texas does this guy live?

[Sculpto]

I think it's really time she overcame her shyness and started asking him some more serious questions. So far this guy sounds a bit too controlling and unpredictable for comfort.
How's her English?

She says he is evasive every time she asks direct questions and usually signs off the computer.

I agree about the controlling thing.. I am not going to talk about the details out of respect.. but.. what she told me sounded like the guy was looking for a sex toy that he could control.  I told her that.

English is excellent.  I believe the shyness is just her being young and from the village.  She might speak up tomorrow.

[Sculpto]

1. What evidence is there that he tels the truth ?

2. I asked about his spending pattern, not about the time he was there. Did he have an apartment in this time, did he go to restaurants ?

Did she answer to his proposal or not ? Just to know if this is 'cold feet' or that the issues she feels he has were enough to not accept his proposal.

She has no evidence and that is what is making her uncomfortable.  She thinks it is strange that He has everyone working for him but he himself doesn't work. 

He rented an apartment and I do not know if he wined and dined.  I will ask tomorrow if she doesn't respond to the thread herself.  I will also have to ask if she accepted the proposal.. though,, come to think of it.. I think not.. she said he is constantly pushing her about it now.. that is all he talks about and she had not given an answer.

[Sculpto]

What city in Texas does this guy live?

Dallas

[Sculpto]

and I should add that I did not confirm that by IP or area code.. I forgot to ask about that.. will confirm later.  Though, that is even no proof... what was odd that you would think a persons name would show up SOMEWHERE on a google search.. classmates.. anywhere.. but its like he doesn't exist. 

[AnastassiaAsh]

Internet sex that's for sure, bogus info and such. How can you have a business and not work! Does he live on his own or with relatives\parents? Totally childish behavior....

[Blues Fairy]

She says he is evasive every time she asks direct questions and usually signs off the computer.

Then I wonder why she's even talking to him still, let alone considering his proposal.

[AnastassiaAsh]

It's possible to find something having just his full name. Yellow pages, list of local deeds... He wants to start K1 and she doesn't know 101 info about him...

[Sculpto]

Then I wonder why she's even talking to him still, let alone considering his proposal.

I think she just needed a little push to get off the idea.  Thats how it felt like when the chat ended.

[Sculpto]

It's possible to find something having just his full name. Yellow pages, list of local deeds... He wants to start K1 and she doesn't know 101 info about him...

Thats exactly my point Anastasia.. she gave me what she understood as his full name.. unusual first name.. common last name.. I tried every variation of the name I could think of.. googled his email address.. facebook searched it also and nada.. and also the suffix on the email address was odd.. searched that as well and it came up to a weird sort of placeholder site.. all kind of fishy.. nothing condeming for certain.. but.. seems someone is trying to be anonymous..

I would also say.. the young lady is very sweet but has little experience with men, by her own admission.

[Daveman]

Thats exactly my point Anastasia.. she gave me what she understood as his full name.. unusual first name.. common last name.. I tried every variation of the name I could think of.. googled his email address.. facebook searched it also and nada.. and also the suffix on the email address was odd.. searched that as well and it came up to a weird sort of placeholder site.. all kind of fishy.. nothing condeming for certain.. but.. seems someone is trying to be anonymous..

I would also say.. the young lady is very sweet but has little experience with men, by her own admission.

Well good lord, she's only 20.  To even consider dropping out of school to chase some 40 year old video game addict is ridiculous.

She has concerns, and rather than address them, he runs offline?  Please. Something is wrong with that picture.

That being said, the concept of "money making money" is something that many FSU ladies just don't get and will NOT get until sometime in the afterlife.  He could be pulling in a good sum from the family business under certain structures, but too many other aspects of this scenario are just weird. 

[Sculpto]

Well good lord, she's only 20.  To even consider dropping out of school to chase some 40 year old video game addict is ridiculous.

She has concerns, and rather than address them, he runs offline?  Please. Something is wrong with that picture.

That being said, the concept of "money making money" is something that many FSU ladies just don't get and will NOT get until sometime in the afterlife.  He could be pulling in a good sum from the family business under certain structures, but too many other aspects of this scenario are just weird. 

Well, some 20 year olds can be really innocent and others can have more experience than they can remember.. but you are right.. quitting school would be a very big mistake. 

Yes, something is really wrong with a dude running offline when "issues" are brought up.  To me it is an even greater indicator of a nasty little ploy to manipulate an innocent girl.

"money making money" shouldn't be that hard to understand.. i think a lot of people in the FSU do it.  They rent extra apartments.. do this and that or whatever.. but maybe you are right.. I don't know. 

I think there is another topic here worth making another thread about.. and that is how ladies can identify bad men.. probably put it up in the scammers section?

[Globetrotter]

Why not got to "Intellius" or another people search...pay the $20 and you will have his criminal record, divorces, bankrupt or not, everything on him!

Anyone wanting to marry a total stranger, I would be very leary about, on either side.  Also, if his sexual parctices are considered by her to be "devious"...why in hell would she continue?

[BillyB]

1.  He told her he doesn't work and spends most of his time playing video games.
 

One reason young FSU women are willing to date older men is because a good amount of young FSU men aren't serious, goofing off, and don't work. I don't think the 40 year old guy that's talked about in this thread is ready for a family.

She says he is evasive every time she asks direct questions and usually signs off the computer.

Bad sign. Very bad. When somebody doesn't answer, just assume the answer isn't good.

Scupto, the lady has too many questions to be answered before she accepts any marriage proposal.

[Sculpto]

Why not got to "Intellius" or another people search...pay the $20 and you will have his criminal record, divorces, bankrupt or not, everything on him!

Anyone wanting to marry a total stranger, I would be very leary about, on either side.  Also, if his sexual parctices are considered by her to be "devious"...why in hell would she continue?

I am not sure the name he has given her is correct.  Like I said.. I tried it a bunch of different ways and it never came up on any search.  If I was sure the name was right I would do that for her if she wanted.

[Sculpto]

One reason young FSU women are willing to date older men is because a good amount of young FSU men aren't serious, goofing off, and don't work. I don't think the 40 year old guy that's talked about in this thread is ready for a family.

Being blunt.. it seems to me he is looking for a live in sex provider.

Bad sign. Very bad. When somebody doesn't answer, just assume the answer isn't good.

Scupto, the lady has too many questions to be answered before she accepts any marriage proposal.

I think we all agree on that.. and I am pretty sure she just needed someone to confirm what she was already feeling.