Baby Steps to.....New York :)

[JR]

So this is my first trip report. It should actually be my second but my first was not to be. For my first trip I was going to go to Moscow to meet a few ladies I had been writing/talking to. In particular there was one I was quite interested in and the interest seemed to be mutual. We spoke on the phone several times and everything was good until I told her I was coming to Moscow. Then…..POOF, she disappeared. I didn’t let that stop me and I was going ahead with my plans but then I realized I had my dates wrong for an upcoming court hearing concerning my daughter. I needed that time to focus and get ready for it. So I cancelled the trip, wasted the visa, one night hotel and the airfare. I can use the airfare until 2010 so it shouldn’t be a total loss, but still a bummer 

Skip forward a little while and I somehow made contact with one of the ladies I wanted to meet in Moscow and wouldn’t you know it, she’s in New York. I call her on the phone and about all she keeps asking is “When are you coming to New York.” I’m thinking, “I hate New York.” But I tell her I need to check a calendar and get back with her. She asks me “When will you get back with me.” I told her a few hours.

I check online for flights and call her. She says OK for the dates and I book the flight and hotel. She talks about maybe seeing a show and I tell her we can’t really get to know each other in a theatre but what the heck. I happened to recall that Phantom of the Opera is playing there permanently. Since seeing it again was one of the things I put on my “To Do” list after my divorce so I decided to kill two birds with one stone. I bought two very good seats and told her about it. She was pleased.

I also told her that I’d thought it’d be nice to visit the Metropolitan Museum since I had hadn’t been there yet. She replied that she had, twice already but hasn’t seen the Empire State Building. Once again I went online and got the tickets.

The day of departure: all packed and off I go. I get to the airport and get bumped up to Business Class. Sucked but who am I to say no?  Get to JFK and find my way to the Metro by following a girl with a map. I pretend to help her find her way but in reality I am checking own route. She smiled pleasantly as she departed at her stop.

I finally get to my hotel, Hotel Wellington that is. Small room, very, very small room! I call Z, she’s waiting and I tell her I need to shower then I’ll be on my way to meet her.

I get to the intersection she told me about and call. Then I see I have a voice mail. While I’m, listening to her she walks up. She is pretty, I tell her so I give her a hug. Then I shook her hand. Not sure why but I did. Anyway we start walking and I ask if she is hungry. She replies that she is and ask where I want to eat. I explain to her that I don’t know N.Y. and she ask if I like sushi. I tell her I do and she says she wants to try a place someone recommended. I say great and off we go. Since I just started walking in the direction I happened to be facing I asked if we were going in the right direction and she confirmed that we were.

The place is nice. We sit across from each other and make pleasant conversation. I order Nebanyaki Udon and she gets sushi. I tell her I like sushi as long as it’s not slimey. She says she absolutely LOVES eel. I have two pieces of her California roll, it was good. She is good with eye contact and the feeling was warm. We talk about our lives, the world and she asks many direct questions. She says she has never been a party-girl and that her father was very strict. I ask if she stays up late. She replied that she’s usually in bed by eleven. I check my watch and note that it is ten. So I suggest that we call it a night so we’ll both be fresh for tomorrow. SHe says theres one more thing we have to do. SHe wants photos of us together. I ask one of the waitresses to take a couple and we do. She said she'd emial them to me. I pay the check and I noticed she was trying to look casual but carefully checking my platinum visa. She looked a little too long, LOL. I tell her I’m not rich but that I am debt free.

She I was going to walk her home but she wanted to take a cab. I though it wasn’t that far but what the heck. It was $3.80 cents. I gave the guy a $5 and told him to keep the change, I am such a big spender, hahaha! She wanted to get a few things from the grocery store and told the guy five times to pull over to the left. He pulled over to the right then started to correct and almost got us rear ended. I told him “Just stop here.” He did and we got out, crossed the street and went into the market.

She got mild, hummus, fruit salad, a gallon of milk and a few other items. We went to pay and her credit card wouldn’t go thru. She tried a different one with the same result. She started to ask the guy to put the items aside and she would come back. I paid the guy in cash and off we went to her apartment building…which was right next door, LOL! So I handed her the groceries. As we said good night and I leaned in to give her a hug I caught her eyes and said she wanted me to kiss her. I thought, crap I just had two cups of green tea and I know my breath isn’t fresh! I am one of those silly romantics. I want a first kiss to be something memorable, I usually succeed. So I didn’t kiss her, maybe I should have. I never saw her again.

When I got back to my hotel I got a text message from her saying how pleased she was to have met me I’ll see you at the Empire State Building tomorrow at eleven. I text her back that the pleasure was all mine. Since it was still early for me, 8 o’clock, I watch some tv then hit the sack.

The next day at 10 am I get a text. “Emipre state, go without me.” Then another. “Joe, I am poisoned. I throw out everything. I have a temperature. Later Vika will take me to doctor.”  I text her back that I hope she feels better soon. There are several more texts back and forth and I left a voice mail regarding the Phantom tickets for later in the afternoon. I ask her if she would like me to give hers to someone else as I am certain that if she had food poisoning she won’t be feeling better today so we won’t see each other.

I end up giving the other ticket a group of three kids trying to get tickets for standing room only. They shared the ticket, trading places during intermission. The first kid and I talk a bit about broadway and how he enjoys the shows. He thanks me several times for the ticket and I am glad it went to someone who obviously enjoyed it.

I texted Z several more times during that day telling her I hope she was feeling better but did not get a response. Same thing the next day. I understood what was most likely going. on but on the off chance things were on the up and up I didn’t want to be the one to stomp off.

The day after my return I tried calling her but go no response. So I thought I’d be cute and use my other cell phone which has a different area code. She answered and we chatted. Actually I should say I talked and she responded with single words. After the call I texted her that I am glad she’s feeling better and wished her all the best in life. Then I deleted her number.

I can’t say what happened. There is nothing I can put my finger on. We didn’t really correspond too much before meeting. Not even the usual introductory form letters. We pretty much went to the phone with maybe four conversations before meeting.

I guess what I take away from this is a reinforcement of my belief that meeting just one person “VO” is not my concept of a good idea. I am glad that I planned on being gone just three days. What a wreck it would have been if I’d gone to Moscow for a week or two and the same result had occurred. I think having a back up plan (as in an agency)is a good idea but my back up plan will always be have more than one meeting planned per visit.

[Vaughn]

Jolly, despite the anticlimax of an ending, I thoroughly enjoyed your NY TR....  somehow I don't believe you
would journey all the way to Moscow to meet one lady after minimal communication, 4 phone calls in all.

You two barely knew one another - is it fair to say this meeting was a true shot in the dark? Did you ever
find out her status, that is, on what kind of visa was she here, or piggybacked with family? What exactly was
it about her that drew you to fly cross-country in the first place?

 

[Daveman]

Thanks for posting the story JR.  Kind of a bummer for her to bail like that, especially with the Phantom tix,  but what the hey. We all know it happens.  RW are all .... somethng   :evil:

Yeah, the VO approach definitely isn't for NOT communicating prior.  But of course you know that.  The way you like to do it is really great for the VM style. Go Thither yon and conquer! 

But it really is cool that you "warmed" up with a meeting prior to heading over.

Good luck JR

[JR]

Thank you HiTech and it's very accurate to say we didn't know each other. I guess I went because I am sick of not going...

For me this was an "exhibitation game." A way to get rid of the pre-season jitters, LOL. Sort of a way to bring myself back to reality without getting in too deep.

[Aloe]

congrats, you actually went somewhere, dont stop there

[Gator]

congrats, you actually went somewhere, dont stop there

Exactly.

JR, sorry that it did not work out, yet most of these do not (just like blind dates with AW).  Hence, you conclusion about Vo is a good one.

It is lucky that you did not kiss her.  Whatever bacteria ravaged her GI tract were in her mouth (the top of the GI tract) waiting for another victim.     Maybe.   

So why did you delete her phone number?  Do you plan on contactiing her again as part of a WMVM?

[ECOCKS]

Better luck next time JR.

[JR]

So why did you delete her phone number?  Do you plan on contactiing her again as part of a WMVM?

I deleted her number because she is playing games. I tried texting her several times the day after her supposed sickness and never got a response. I called her the day after I got back and got the pass-off to VM. She knew it was me because each time she answered she said "Hello Joe." Then I immediately called using my other phone with a different area code and she picks up, hence the "game." I have no time for games so I deleted her and am moving on.

[Sculpto]

I don't disagree with your analysis.. but.. is there a small chance she just felt sick and just didn't want to talk?  Or, when you called with the other number, did she sound normal or sick?

[JR]

she sounded annoyed

[AnastassiaAsh]

Sorry, Joe, it didn't lead anywhere, but as you said probably it was a good trip 'to go out'. Good experience, don't be discouraged, one step at a time. Her cards not working in the store - was one of the traps...

[JR]

Thanks Anastasia, I don't mind that it didn't work out. It got me out of the phantasy phase and brought me back to reality. So it was worth the effort.

[UTRO]

Sorry Joe, you should have kissed her.

[Chris59]

Nice TR Joe,

I now have a better appreciation of some of your comments in my TR. I'm relieved to know that others also tend to advocate against traveling the WO-VO method. As you know from my trips to St. Petersburg, visiting more than one lady can play havoc on your emotions, and theirs. Looking forward to reading about your next trip. Best of luck!

[Phil dAmore]

What a wreck it would have been if I’d gone to Moscow for a week or two and the same result had occurred.

Yeah, but if you had been in Moscow you could have met someone else quite easily.

[JR]

Sorry Joe, you should have kissed her.

Yeah, in retrospect I should have done more than that...I should have taken her groceries up to her apartmen for her. Would have been the gentlemanly thing to do. But I did what I did based upon the moment.

[JR]

Nice TR Joe,

I now have a better appreciation of some of your comments in my TR. I'm relieved to know that others also tend to advocate against traveling the WO-VO method. As you know from my trips to St. Petersburg, visiting more than one lady can play havoc on your emotions, and theirs. Looking forward to reading about your next trip. Best of luck!

It did a bit on mine too way back when...and even here in dating. Though not so much anymore.