I met a girl under special circumstances

[Ininiteluck]

My story is this... A friend of my surprised me and another friend by calling in two escort girls... We met but didn't have sex because the apartment was crowded and I felt uneasy. Besides the fact that she was pretty I found her very nice in what seemed a very honest way. I might ad that I'm not at all ignorant. I have lived in several countries, seen and done a lot etc. She is 29 and I am 42 however I look more like 35. Also I have no problem in hooking up with girls so it's not a case where I am the old ugly guy and is charmed by a golddigger girl. I would just like to make that clear before I go on.

I got this girls number and sent her a text message two days later to ask if we could go out for a drink (for free..) and she said yes. This was about 4 months ago. We did and she came home with me. She said 'no sex' and we didn't have any. Three days after that we went out for dinner and she came home with me again. We did have sex this time. The day after I drove her to the airport as she was going back to Russia. After that we talked regularly and she has been here 3 times with month intervals. She has been staying with me some of the time and with a friend the rest of the time.  I have asked all the uncomfortable questions about her work and she has answered openly and honestly.

I just recently visited her in Russia and met her mother and sister as well as going out for dinner with her friends. Her best friend asked me if I wanted to come to their wedding. She comes from a nice family and she has used all the money she has made to invest for the future.

I really feel that this is the real deal and see no signs of dishonesty, bad intentions etc etc. I'm considered a good looking charming guy and I am of course hoping this girl has fallen for that and nothing else.

The worry is of course her profession.. and I need some advice on this. Does it mean less for a girl in Russia then someone from western Europe etc etc etc? Help, please advise!

[Gator]

The worry is of course her profession.. and I need some advice on this. Does it mean less for a girl in Russia then someone from western Europe etc etc etc? Help, please advise!

Don't try to reconcile her vocational decisions by thinking prostitution is okay in her culture.  Prostitution is not an honorable profession in Russia.  In fact, RW have a lot of pride, and good girls in Russia look down on working girls even more than AW do.

Does she only work as an escort in European cities or does she also do it in Russia?  She may be having less sex than her single peers.

What do your friends say about this?  After all, one friend introduced you.

Nevertheless, working girls need love too, and they do not get it from their clients.  Your woman at 29 is probably approaching the end of her professional life.

Does she have a child that she could not otherwise support?  Is her family is desperate ways where she needed to help them? What were her other choices?

This will get some interesting posts!

   

[I/O]

Does it mean less for a girl in Russia then someone from western Europe etc etc etc?

Nope!! Hooking is hooking regardless of the race she is humping. Russians are often more scathing of the profession than others. 

Having said that, I sat talking with a hooker in a bar in Odessa a few years ago for an hour or so after I made it clear there was no business to be done and I would say she was one of the most intelligent people I have ever met. I enjoyed her company immensely but would I jump her bones or trust her one inch? Not a chance. Bottom line is she sells lies for living and would cut you in a heartbeat.

A very good mate of mine from Moscow and I were discussing exactly this a few weeks ago and when I was being a bit soft, I mentioned it was a pity really and he responded very sharply. "Mate, don't feel sorry for them, they have choices and tough though it can be, they have other ways to make a living but they choose the easy money, I've seen hundreds of them and wouldn't trust any of them a centimeter. They do this because they want to not because they have to for the most part." He also pointed out that very few successful hookers come from desperate backgrounds. Many are from comfortable homes which adds weight to his point that it is a choice. It's a profession, there is demand and supply like any other but anyone selling "crack" for a living doesn't rate with me at all.

You might note an email which has been floating around the last few weeks, "The difference between a hooker and a dope dealer? The hooker can wash the "crack" and sell it again and again".

There ya go Gator.............................

[viking]

Many years ago ( many) I lived in a nice apartment in an upscale building in NYC. The girl next door was a profesionsl working girl. Absolutely stunning and a charmer. Through time we became friends. Sometimes I had her over for dinner and sometimes she had me over for..... Her plans were to make enough money ( maybe well into the 6 figures), leave town and move into an area where no one knew her. Find a nice guy who did not know about her past, settle down and have a good life.

If you did not know about this girls past ( also present) how would you feel about her? Would it change anything? Does working in a foreign country versus the US mean anyhting different? Can you put images of her profession behind you?

[GoodOlBoy]

So you want to marry a whore?.......unbelievable.

Just when I think there are no other fool's left to post on RWD, here comes another one.

I am 42 however I look more like 35.

Good Lord.....where have I heard this one before.  

I have asked all the uncomfortable questions about her work (prostitution) and she has answered openly and honestly.

Oh....that must have been an "interesting" conversation. :evil:

I just recently visited her in Russia and met her mother and sister as well as going out for dinner with her friends.

Did you happen to discuss her "profession" with Mom?  

.........she came home with me. She said 'no sex' and we didn't have any. Three days after that we went out for dinner and she came home with me again. We did have sex this time.

You really have to respect a hooker with "morals" who doesn't have sex on the first date!  :evil:

This will get some interesting posts!

Agree.


GOB

[MatryoshkaMan]

My friend there are SO MANY hot & sexy regular everyday women over there with honest jobs why on earth would you want to get involved with a prostitute? It boggles my mind. I don't see how it could ever work. RW are volitile enough as it is, add in years of prostitution and the result will be nothing but trouble for you. I don't want you to mess up your prime years. At 42 you are still very eligible and will have an easy time attracting "pure" women (well relatively pure... ). I don't know the details of your relationship other than what you posted but I cannot advise any othere course other than to ease away from this one and find someone you could marry and have kids with...isn't that what you are in Russia to do?

[GoodOlBoy]

Her plans were to make enough money ( maybe well into the 6 figures), leave town and move into an area where no one knew her.

Yes, yes....the "pretty woman" syndrome.

This thinking is childish.

A whore can't run from her past.

The good, the bad and the ugly will follow a person through their life to his/her grave.

Find a nice guy who did not know about her past, settle down and have a good life.

Poor Schmuck.

Once a whore, always a whore.


GOB


BTW......That old saying that "whores make good housewives"....is a load of BS!!!

[BillyB]

Your woman at 29 is probably approaching the end of her professional life.

Younger women are probably getting the lions share of the business. If she was still making the big bucks, she may not be thinking of landing a man for marriage yet.

 Ininiteluck, She may be nice but she's been in the business of making men feel good for a long time so she knows how to make you feel good. My main beef with a hooker is that I question her mental state in that she will open her legs for men of all walks of life, many of them could be the worst of the worst, all because of money. Now you date her, she holds back on sex to give you the impression she has decent standards and you are impressed if not in love.

If you choose to have a relationship with this woman, could you sleep good at night knowing she may still be screwing other men? It's also possible you are just another business opportunity to her. You may never know until it's too late. Lots of good family oriented girls out there to choose from but if you and your friends are the type of men that like to roll with hookers, do the good girls a favor and stay away from them.

[SMS60]

So you want to marry a whore?.......unbelievable.

Just when I think there are no other fool's left to post on RWD, here comes another one

 

[Gator]

My friend there are SO MANY hot & sexy regular everyday women over there with honest jobs why on earth would you want to get involved with a prostitute?

Excellent point.

isn't that what you are in Russia to do?

I don't think he has ever been to Russia.  Perhaps he should.  Meet her family.  Meet her friends from work.   See how she spends her money.  Maybe she supports an orphanage. 

I assume prostitutes would have some psychological issues  (don't we all).  If your interest in this woman remains high, I suggest that the two of you go to a family counselor for several sessions and probe deep into your relationship.  There is no telling what may pop to the surface.

[BillyB]

I don't think he has ever been to Russia.  Perhaps he should.  Meet her family.  Meet her friends from work.   

Gator, you're slipping. According to Ininiteluck. he has recently come back from Russia and meet her family and friends. Ininiteluck and her may be a good match. It's up for them to decide. Although most of us at this forum would not choose to knowing marry a hooker, it would be wrong of us to steer a guy in the direction that we think is best for ourselves.

[SMS60]

Ininiteluck and her may be a good match. It's up for them to decide. Although most of us at this forum would not choose to knowing marry a hooker, it would be wrong of us to steer a guy in the direction that we think is best for ourselves.

Yes, he might make a good pimp. I see potential.

[Misha]

She has been staying with me some of the time and with a friend the rest of the time. 

Just curious as to why she wasn't staying with you all the time. Sorry, but I don't sense much "love" here either on your end or hers.

The worry is of course her profession.. and I need some advice on this. Does it mean less for a girl in Russia then someone from western Europe etc etc etc? Help, please advise!

No, but keep in mind that prostitutes who do it simply to accumulate money for "the future" tend to see men as means to an end. How do you know that you are not simply her convenient tool? A way for her as noted by others to "retire" while moving to another country where it will be much easier for her to conceal her past. Once she has achieved those goals, you risk being kicked to the gutter like last week's trash.

[Gator]

Gator, you're slipping.

No excuses.  Early stages of dementia I guess.    

Maybe Ininite should marry her when he's older and can't remember her past.

[Sculpto]

be more mature guys.  This guy needs advice, not ridicule.

[kievstar]

Biggest concern I see is your 42 and think you look 35 years old.  Men who think that on RWD have a history of failure.  

A whore is a whore in any country.  To answer your question next time you have dinner with her mother and sister bring up that their daughter is a whore and see how things go.  If things go well after that, you will have a great relationship.

[SMS60]

be more mature guys.  This guy needs advice, not ridicule.

Sometimes the truth and reality seems immature.

[GoodOlBoy]

If your interest in this woman remains high, I suggest that the two of you go to a family counselor for several sessions and probe deep into your relationship.

Good luck!

I don't know of any RW who would go within 10 miles of a "psychologist" or "therapist".  

Most RW I know, don't think to much of that "touchy/feely" crapola.  :evil:
  

GOB

[Sculpto]

Kiev.. I am surprised you would advise him to bring it up at the dinner table with her family.  That is just rude behavior!  

I am absolutely sure I have known a lot more sex workers, outside of their profession, than probably anyone here due to my art world life where a significant percentage of young women work as strippers and escorts to support their art.

1.  You would be surprised how many women have sold a piece of their ass at some point of time in their life, and, ALL hot women have been offered.  Do not even have illusions about that.. I SAY IT AGAIN!  EVERY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN HAS AT SOME POINT IN HER LIFE BEEN OFFERED SOME SORT OF SEX FOR MONEY ARRANGEMENT.  And, all of them consider it.  They usually decline out of some kind of fear or guilt, morality rarely enters into it.  And, enough $$$ will make most women forget their fear, guilt and morality.  

2.  Many sex workers are completely able to disconnect their work from their emotional lives, especially the more intelligent they are.

3.  Some sex workers do it because they love sex and were giving it away to men that didn't always treat them right.  Working as a high end escort usually means they are able to pick their clients and what they will do with them.  typically those that do it for the above reasons enjoy the sex more and feel less humiliated than they did simply being slutty.

4.  Pretty Woman happens more often than you think.  Maybe not quite as stylized as that film, but, it happens.

[Sculpto]

Sometimes the truth and reality seems immature.

I don't see a lot of truth going around this thread so far.  What I see is a lot of judgement and empty responses.

[Daveman]

Well now, that was an interesting introductory post.

Sorry Ininiteluck, I don't have any advice to add except for the standard "cover your butt" and make sure she's not just looking for a different meal/mule ticket.  Take it slowly and keep your eyes open.  If you find yourself rationalizing away a lot of strange things, then take a closer look.  Other than that, you have to decide for yourself whether she's a treasure or trash.

[Gator]

I don't know of any RW who would go within 10 miles of a "psychologist" or "therapist".  

Most RW I know, don't think to much of that "touchy/feely" crapola.  :evil:
  

True, very true.  They have no experience with it.  If she refuses, I would move on.  Correct that, I never would have been there to begin with.

[Blues Fairy]

I don't know of any RW who would go within 10 miles of a "psychologist" or "therapist". 

EVERY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN HAS AT SOME POINT IN HER LIFE BEEN OFFERED SOME SORT OF SEX FOR MONEY ARRANGEMENT.  And, all of them consider it.  They usually decline out of some kind of fear or guilt, morality rarely enters into it.  

I'm SO SICK of these silly generalizations you guys perpetrate. 

[GoodOlBoy]

Kiev.. I am surprised you would advise him to bring it up at the dinner table with her family.   

Yeah...kind of like going to a party and finding a cat turd in the punch bowl. 

Not a real crowd pleaser.

......escorts to support their art.

What a cop out word...."escort".

I looked up the definition of escort: "One or more persons accompanying another to guide, protect, or show honor".

I don't think the definition fits the discussion here.

Personally I think the word "whore" or "hooker" is a much better application when used in this context.


GOB

[Misha]

I SAY IT AGAIN!  EVERY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN HAS AT SOME POINT IN HER LIFE BEEN OFFERED SOME SORT OF SEX FOR MONEY ARRANGEMENT.

How does that joke go.

"Man walks up to a woman and asks her whether she will sleep with him for a million dollars. She ponders and says yes. He then asks her whether she will sleep with him for twenty dollars. She immediately turns all red and asks: "What do you think I am?" He replies: "Ma'am, what you are has already been established, now we are simply negotiating a price."

And, all of them consider it.  They usually decline out of some kind of fear or guilt, morality rarely enters into it.

How about another reason: self-respect.

And, enough $$$ will make most women forget their fear, guilt and morality.

So you believe that most women deep down are willing to prostitute themselves, but have yet to meet a man willing to pay enough as to liberate their inner call girl?  

2.  Many sex workers are completely able to disconnect their work from their emotional lives, especially the more intelligent they are.

Yes, quite often with the help of drugs and alcohol. It is part of the "disconnecting" process.