THE ANTI-RW!!!!

[Muckraker]

You should also consider the fact that very few white Russians are going to want to marry a non-white.  Maybe once they figure out your race, they simply turn off.

[knighta]

Once you are writting to thee ladies outside of AWeb they have 2 options. First is to try and get you back on AWeb. This is usually done by saying their english is not that good and they need their interpreter. If that does not work they will sizzle out the relationship to get rid of you. You have 1 in a 1000 shot of finding a sincere lady out of this. I am not saying it is all ladies however there is a slim shot of actually finding a lady on AWeb who will continue a real relationship with you outside of AWeb.

I met my fiance on Aweb and within the first few minutes of actually seeing her in when I traveled to her home city she gave her e-mail to me.  After our time together and I was back home she didn’t care whether it was email or to continue writing through the agency.  She just wanted me to be comfortable.  Of course I got rid of the agency and we talk only ICQ and email now. 

[Blues Fairy]

and everything seems so ... really nice and friendly... and human... then next day she has to clarify the point that she doesn't want to marry me..

... which you qualify as not nice and friendly and human enough?  Surprise, it's perfectly human not to want to get married, and actually quite nice and friendly of her to let you know up front lest you're determined to waste your time/money chasing her in a hurry to find a wife (BTW what's the hurry at 32, I wonder?)

I see no weirdness, just friendliness and niceness all around.  Lighten up and enjoy the chats.

[Daveman]

  The real scam is you buying minutes from AWEB. These girls get paid to chat on webcam and that makes them not so trustworthy.

Bingo.. good night... talk about missing the forest amidst all the trees....


At 32 you're old enough to make your on decisions... even morbidly stupid ones.   Go for whomever you wish.. run the gauntlet and see if you are indeed an exception.  Perhaps you will be.

[seraphimangel]

... which you qualify as not nice and friendly and human enough?  Surprise, it's perfectly human not to want to get married, and actually quite nice and friendly of her to let you know up front lest you're determined to waste your time/money chasing her in a hurry to find a wife (BTW what's the hurry at 32, I wonder?)

I see no weirdness, just friendliness and niceness all around.  Lighten up and enjoy the chats.

I'm not in a hurry, I actually told her I just wanted to visit the Ukraine and see it for myself and she said she wanted me to visit her city and only hers and she'd show me around and take care of me.  I said I'd like to visit as many cities as possible and take pictures.  She said "no, just come to Niko and stay with me" I don't want you going other places. I said I wanted to take her with me, she said "no, Niko is enough for a week"

As far as dynamic of relationship, I said I just wanted to meet as friends and see if there is any chemistry in real life at all.  I mentioned I'm going to South Africa next week to catch a couple of world cup games and taking my dad and complained that he snored.  She says "you don't have to worry about that with me when you visit, I don't snore"... I mean... why says this???

I don't qualify people in the U.S. nor has anyone here ever said before a date "understand I don't want to marry you"... it just seems the oddest thing, but I guess if traveling across the world, it it something different... just .. I mean, do you see how this is odd to me?  I've never done anything like this.  I really actually admire you people who were able to work out these details.  It's really quite scary to me. I've never dated anyone further than an hour drive from me.  

You're looking at this from FSU perspective, which is difficult for me to understand.  I have two B.A.s ... on in economics and another in history... and an MBA.  My history degree was focused on WWII and found Russian history and involvement amazing.. actually... I find the non-talked about story of Yugoslavia amazing and how no credit is given to their contribution to the downfall of Germany... but that's a tangent.

I've always wanted to be on that side as a tourist, but fear I don't know the language at all.

I almost wish someone here would like to go on a tourist trip... I would just fly along and take pictures and meet people at markets, clubs, bars, street.. whatever.. this is bizarre to me.

Blues, please, seriously, I beg you, please... try to look at this from my perspective.  I'm a 32 yo, successful, finance exec... divorced, latino, working for the biggest financial investment company in the world, I have materially, most things I want.  I own a home which is soon to be paid outright and paid for that which my exwife lives in currently.  I meet people by virtue of association daily.  I am very athletic.. in fact, the one who you said is nice insulted me yesterday and said I have a silly typical american haircut (short with a slight flip at the front) and too many muscles... I asked what that meant.. she said... she likes normal thin looking people, and that I look oddly muscular...

I guess it's that I'm not used to so many variables people have pointed out.  I don't usually have to compete with 100s of men they get mail from.  I don't usually get laughed at for my hair.  I don't usually get told I'm too muscular.  

I'm coming to think that I have only two options....
1.  Go back to what I know, it's served me well enough for long enough, maybe I'll meet Ms. Right locally and that will make more sense cause I'll know where she's coming from
2.  Give up on all agencies and plan a month in the FSU with a friend, go tourist style plan, ... and just visit, visit, visit everywhere and if I meet someone.. great.. if not.. .then I have no reason to go back again... consider it a venture I've always wanted... and I got it out my system.

[seraphimangel]

You should also consider the fact that very few white Russians are going to want to marry a non-white.  Maybe once they figure out your race, they simply turn off.

What's funny is that last night the main girl says "how are you not white? You're fair!"... I said, technically I'm brown.  She says "I want to be brown then, you have a good tan"... then she jokes... well.. since you're not white.. i don't think i can talk to you anymore.

I said.. WTF! ... she said.. just kidding.  I'm jewish and slav... I don't care what you are. 

[seraphimangel]

Bingo.. good night... talk about missing the forest amidst all the trees....


At 32 you're old enough to make your on decisions... even morbidly stupid ones.   Go for whomever you wish.. run the gauntlet and see if you are indeed an exception.  Perhaps you will be.

Yeah... well, I bought the minutes before i knew any better =(

Now, I'm just enjoying the attrition.  Though the attrition is taking a strange emotional toll... maybe it's ego.. whatever.

[seraphimangel]

I met my fiance on Aweb and within the first few minutes of actually seeing her in when I traveled to her home city she gave her e-mail to me.  After our time together and I was back home she didn’t care whether it was email or to continue writing through the agency.  She just wanted me to be comfortable.  Of course I got rid of the agency and we talk only ICQ and email now. 

GAH! Well... good for you... it's nice to see someone understands how this works.  My hats off to you, sincerely.

[Daveman]

...nor has anyone here ever said before a date "understand I don't want to marry you"... it just seems the oddest thing,

you ain't seen nothin' yet.  You have not yet scratched the surface of the weirdness you are about to encounter...  Face it now even before you leave the comfort of your home.  They will do and say things that are.. well.. weird to us.  Get used to it.

I agree it's better to tell you up front that she doesn't want to marry (so why is she on a marriage site where men pay to chat? nevermind.. different question)...  

  

[Daveman]

Yeah... well, I bought the minutes before i knew any better =(

Now, I'm just enjoying the attrition.  Though the attrition is taking a strange emotional toll... maybe it's ego.. whatever.

Well, those in the know do say that the ladies *can* be for real... but many of your conversations may not be... best to just go and meet them in person.  Seems we have a few who have had some luck with that route.  So, jump on a plane Old Man..  :evil:

[facetrock]

   I think you should jump on the plane too. Satisfy your curiosity.
But if your chasing 22 year old 9s and 10s be aware that there are plenty of local guys there that have a house, nice cars, and far more money than you do and these girls know it.
   Plus the fact your going to see chat girls which means these girls are very into money. I mean really, what kind of girl would sit on a cam all day pretending to like men 10 or more years older. Maybe its for the money.

Lots rich foreign men have all that you have and much more too. These girls also know that
I am sure you are proud of what you have accomplished and the possessions you have. I sure as hell wouldnt tell them all about though. Keep it simple.

[I/O]

I said.. WTF! ... she said.. just kidding.  I'm jewish and slav... I don't care what you are. 

They care.

[facetrock]

 I agree completly I/O

[BillyB]

2.  Give up on all agencies and plan a month in the FSU with a friend, go tourist style plan, ... and just visit, visit, visit everywhere and if I meet someone.. great.. if not.. .then I have no reason to go back again... consider it a venture I've always wanted... and I got it out my system.

Sereph, it's a wonderful feeling being in a foreign country with a woman that you adore and she adores you with a real chance for romance blossoming. Maybe it's just me but it's boring as hell going somewhere just to see things alone or with a male friend.

As much time as you spend at Aweb, if you spent the same time using another agency or dating sites, you would've found some real women that aren't instructed on how to act and what to say to clients.  You may discover one talking on the phone and writing you in a very special way that tells you she is really "into you" compared to the other men writing her. If you spend your DEAR hunting days wisely, you will find some good catches and the best catches are the women that think highly of you. If no woman thinks highly of you, then you need to take a good look at yourself and adjust who you are.

It's a whole lot better spending your time in the FSU with a woman that is into you compared to showing up alone and hitting on woman on the streets. Finding a woman walking down the street should be a backup plan and if you meet a woman on the street, who knows how she'll turn out? She may go out with you but she may have no intention leaving the FSU. If you find a sincere woman through correspondence that is into you, she will be a good hostess. She will introduce you to her family, feed you, pick the lint off your clothes and wipe the sweat off your face. She will take care of you because she cares about you as if you will be her future husband. Those women can be found. Dump Aweb and do a better job hunting and evaluating the women that you encounter. Most men get excited when a beautiful woman is speaking to them and giving them some form of attention. That is not enough excitement for me. I hope you find the kind of sincere caring woman I'm talking about.

[Blues Fairy]

Blues, please, seriously, I beg you, please... try to look at this from my perspective.

Hey, didn't I just tell you to lighten up?   

I guess it's that I'm not used to so many variables people have pointed out.  I don't usually have to compete with 100s of men they get mail from.  I don't usually get laughed at for my hair.  I don't usually get told I'm too muscular.

Dude, lighten up already.   

It's the Internet for God's sake, if you don't learn to be laughed at and take it with grace, you're bound for tons of disappointment and frustration.  For an educated established guy in his 30-s, you have surprisingly thin skin. 

[Markus]

If you are Anti_RW, you must either be gay or you have never been to the FSU.

[OmegaSupreme]

I think this thread just shows that many men who go looking for women in the FSU tend to throw common sense out of the window. Talking to women who are barely past their teens on a known money-grubbing site and then complaining about your experiences on there is just simply mind-boggling.

[kievstar]

Get on a plane and start meeting women.  Your going to make mistakes and it may take you 15 plus trips to find the one.  This is a process that takes time and money.  You will learn a lot by face to face interaction.

A popular woman will have 10 plus men visit a week.  She will increase her dating league level.  Not every man going to Ukraine is poor, old, and / or ugly.  You want the women to take yourself serious go visit.  Playing around with skype and writing is not normal for a man of 32 chasing a young woman.

[groovlstk]

Get on a plane and start meeting women.  Your going to make mistakes and it may take you 15 plus trips to find the one.  This is a process that takes time and money.  You will learn a lot by face to face interaction.

I agree w/Kievstar on this. Get on a plane. All this hand-wringing and speculation is a little silly - you haven't met any of these women in person and you can speculate about them until the cows come home, but it's all a waste of your time.

Once you have a trip under your belt you will have a much better idea of the landscape and, just as importantly, your own capabilities and expectations.

[BillyB]

Get on a plane and start meeting women.   You will learn a lot by face to face interaction.

Kiev, Seriphimangel has probably met more RW than many RWD guys right here in the USA. He has plenty of face to face interaction with RW and he has learned that being goofy American style doesn't go well with RW. The only thing he'll learn by going to the FSU now is he wasted a lot of money and precious vacation time to learn the same thing. If he wants to go to the FSU, he should first find a woman that is "into him" based on who he is and how he presents himself through communication. Lots of phone time with RW in the FSU and interaction with RW in the USA is good enough to start learning something.

What is the friggin rush? No wonder people laugh at us who hunt for ladies overseas. We can keep our zipper up for any length of time. The only girls Seriphimangel knows are Aweb girls and if they know how to handle 60 yo men, they'd certainly know how to handle a young man and spit him out. How hard is for a guy to excercise a little patience and dedicate spending 2 or more weeks getting to know a few ladies on EM or bride.ru so that he may find a more sincere girl who will welcome him to the FSU with her sincere arms?

[Miri22]

Agreed. Just get on a plane, chemistry  can only be determined face to face.
Just do it.

[Gylden]

From your earlier posts, I would recommend that you get on a plane and get your self over there, hire an interpreter and just meet and date a few women. The internet is just a playground for the most and can make your head spin.

If you are short, it could be part of the problem, as FSUW don't usually take short men serious.
 

 

[kievstar]

BillyB, I think this guy will represent himself better face to face.  Myself I clean up well face to face but not a good writing or speaker on phone.  First impressions are important.  This guy being non white better show up in person and make it be known not white before meeting. His strength is he making a million plus a year or did I read him wrong.  His weakness is his looks.  Muscles for many women are not sexy.  Tall and athletic wins over security guard big.

He will have to go the impress with condo and car method.  This works I know an elite level current NBA player who does this in Kiev.  I took his girl from him since he is a piece of work.  Than dumped her because she is an even bigger piece of work.  Glad I am married but Kiev days were fun.

But when they find out what he does for a living he should be comfortbale throwing down $1,000 plus for disco / concerts / meals per day if he is chasing the very beautiful women under 22 years old.  $1,000 is nothing for these girls. Many had guys buy them cars and condos first month.  You should budget $20K a month for your girl.  Still less than 25% if your making more than a million per year.

[BillyB]

  You should budget $20K a month for your girl. 

lol, now you're really going to scare a lot of guys from taking a trip over there. There are girls that don't need $20k a month to be happy. $15k a month will do. But I know what you mean, rich RM and rich foreign men are buying apartments, cars and vacations for some of those pretty young ladies and the ladies have become spoiled goods. When they lose their youth and beauty, what are they going to do then?

[kievstar]

My point is not to scare anybody but if you open your mouth in Kiev about how much money you have and what you do and brag about it.  A young beautiful girl is going to take you for what you have as she has seen many men who can easily afford 20K a month on her.  She may also not care to much about money but will be offended so might as well make you pay up. 

There is a perception that Ukraine women are desperate and money will win them over and they will be like slave girls when married.  There is also a perception that all AM are rich.  Both are not true at all.  Fact majority of Americans are dirt poor with less than $100,000 usd of free cash to spend.  Fact majority of Ukraine women want a man to win them over (not pay them over).

Women do not have to lose there looks and figure until 60 years old.  Healthy diet, little stress, and a little surgery.  Many women use the I had kids so now I am bigger.  Just a lazy excuse - get in the gym and eat less.  Stay out of sun and use high quality skin products.  Have sex 2 times a day as well.