Love and relationship

[Eduard]

Eduard based on your experience, what are the  top 2 to 3 factors that are influencing the change in the value system..western influence , internet ,  easier geographic  mobility etc. Have you noticed any specific patterns? I think one needs to get the real gems (girls) from FSU  in next 2-5 years and after that they will be all gone or  at least become difficult to find.

If I have to think about top 2 factors, I'd say that:
1. Probably close to 90% of Russia's TV programming is American movies, shows, sitcoms, etc. Some of them are Russian version remakes of talk shows like Sally Jessy Raphael and sitcoms like "Married with Children".  Interestingly, most Russians don't have a clue that they are watching remakes of America's 80's shows and think that these are authentically original Russian.
2. The majority of young Russian women earn at least a couple of uni degrees and are very career oriented. Many of them earn salaries on par or just below American standarts which allows them to be independent, own an apartment, a nice car, travel and generally a nice lifestyle that professional American women enjoy. They no longer need a man to provide for them and although most would still like to have a family of their own their standarts became quite high (similar to AW's standarts) and many prefer to stay single and just have relationships of convenience (many times with married Russian men) hoping that maybe eventually their prince charming will come along...

[Jumper]

ML-
Don't you think social pressures and cultural expectations are often a big reason *why*
parental-pre- arranged marriages *work*?

I just doubt it has much to do with the parents ability at picking out compatible partners.

The system in such cultures, works based on the men and women involved knowing there are no other acceptable choices but for it to work?

 

[Guru]

If I have to think about top 2 factors, I'd say that:
1. Probably close to 90% of Russia's TV programming is American movies, shows, sitcoms, etc. Some of them are Russian version remakes of talk shows like Sally Jessy Raphael and sitcoms like "Married with Children".  Interestingly, most Russians don't have a clue that they are watching remakes of America's 80's shows and think that these are authentically original Russian.
2. The majority of young Russian women earn at least a couple of uni degrees and are very career oriented. Many of them earn salaries on par or just below American standarts which allows them to be independent, own an apartment, a nice car, travel and generally a nice lifestyle that professional American women enjoy. They no longer need a man to provide for them and although most would still like to have a family of their own their standarts became quite high (similar to AW's standarts) and many prefer to stay single and just have relationships of convenience (many times with married Russian men) hoping that maybe eventually their prince charming will come along...

Thanks for sharing your perspective. Valuable points.

[Guru]

ML-
Don't you think social pressures and cultural expectations are often a big reason *why*
parental-pre- arranged marriages *work*?

I just doubt it has much to do with the parents ability at picking out compatible partners.

The system in such cultures, works based on the men and women involved knowing there are no other acceptable choices but for it to work?

 

Parents do have wisdom and experience to choose  a compatible partner. Parents don't go  asking people like Ed  that they want a girl with big boobie. Secondly, the parents  don't get scammed by  beautiful girls or hotties. They  do their  own background check based on family, cultural, religion or social bonding that exists between the two parties. Today as both men and women are working and are economically independent , they have more choices.  So  the theory " it has to work" is outdated  in present environment.

[Iceberg7811]

The thing is that those cultures (Indian for example) are less individualistic, the group's needs take priority over yours. This makes people very similar in the things they value and the things they like.

For example there are not many Indian surfers or grunge, punk, etc. It is too outside the norm, where as here hobbies and interests are very broad and so are wants, needs and principles.

So in India if you are from the same Caste you can marry someone that has the same social standing and aim to make it work, love does not come into it.

[ML]

ML-
Don't you think social pressures and cultural expectations are often a big reason *why*
parental-pre- arranged marriages *work*?

I just doubt it has much to do with the parents ability at picking out compatible partners.

The system in such cultures, works based on the men and women involved knowing there are no other acceptable choices but for it to work?

 

I'm just now seeing this post Jumper.

My answer is that . . . I don't know for sure, but these married couples I know are long term USA residents who know they can divorce with more acceptance here, and yet they seem to have no inclination to do so.

But Guru's post just above seems to  disagree with your ideas.