how long did it take you to find someone?

[Ooooops]

You are very pretty, Lena.       BTW, I dye my very short hair white as well.   Looks cool, doesn't it?   

[ML]

For me it is very important that my man was a friend of my son. And if the person in the correspondence did not show any interest in my son and did not even ask how my son's name and how old he is , I can not believe that this person will be a good father .

And how does this work with the Russian/Ukrainian men you meet?

[steveboy]

I'd say this is probably true.  Most will either not get lucky on the first attempt, or won't be willing to jump into marriage with someone who is mostly a stranger.  Yeah, some will roll that dice and a few of those will get lucky.  Most won't.  Most will get tired of the hassle and say "to hell with this".


So think about it... How many women do most men normally *date* prior to finding a specially special one and then building that relationship to 'go the distance' ? 


Not much different here just the relationship building has a few extra pitfalls along the way and is a tad more expensive than dinner and a movie.  But, it's still dating.  A "good and sincere" woman meeting and dating a "good and sincere" man isn't usually necessarily enough.  In that case, both of you are back to square one.





I was simply too stupid to fail.  I didn't know when to quit.  It took me about 3.5 years to find the right lady, and just about two years for us to build that relationship to the point marriage, and then about another year to get her here...    If that seems like a long time, there are some others who have taken longer.


The funny thing is, I have nothing at all against American women.  They don't seem to have anything against me either, but of course, I could be delusionally oblivious to reality there..  .  I wanted the adventure more than anything else and had a great time -- and also wound up in a pretty special place with a wonderful, compatible lady.


I'll repeat the rules for success...


1) get lucky...
or
2) don't quit until you [see rule one]

Fully agree!! Dont quit! unless your a wimp!

[Елена]

And how does this work with the Russian/Ukrainian men you meet?

[/quote]
I did the same for Russian men. But the most important decision why I decided to look for a husband abroad is that Russian men do not appreciate the family too. I think the mentality of Russian men have the confidence that the wife is not going anywhere . (This is very difficult to raise a child alone , not nice when everything around you regret or condemn ), and sure they can always find another woman. My husband told me that he realized that he did not need a family , and most important to him is the mountain (he is a climber ) , friends , work ......  . So for me it is very important that the husband is a good father

[churchmouse]

5 minutes met her on the net and been here ever since and it`s an up and down relationship too old for this sort of shhugar staff member of B P ( BRITISH PENSIONERS)
and there you have in a lump of cheddar cheese !!
I`m off to find a hole somewhere.

I bet someone on this forum will make some stupid comment being British, one has to have a sense of humor especially if you live here in Russia, been here 12 years good woman lots of fum good Russian sense of humor and part of the Russian furniture a fully retired Brit O A P GET MY MONTHLY S/Pension no probs.
Thank you and have a very nice day.
  you are most > 

[Rational_Julia]

I met my hubby after 3 weeks on freepersonals. In fact I have been there for 2 weeks that time and in one week after meeting Steve I insisted on his removing the profile. So I kept my hubby to myself only. Maybe it's egoistic but I liked him and didn't want to share. Yeah, I am non-liberal and tough girl

Yes I saw many popular girls registered for several years. The profiles were still active. So I think they have issues. Though if girl is new doesn't mean she is new on the dating scene. Girl may post herself, meet someone, delete profile and then it doesn't work and she goes back. It happened to me several times but usually it took me not more than 3-4 weeks to find somebody seemingly good. If a girl is not ugly, not lazy, writes interesting letters and has a good command of English and doesn't believe she is a princess around unworthy, it doesn't take long.

[Lily]

Good tactic Julia. Curious, how long on the average did that seemingly good ones stayed in contact with you before disappearing?

[calmissile]

I met my hubby after 3 weeks on freepersonals. In fact I have been there for 2 weeks that time and in one week after meeting Steve I insisted on his removing the profile. So I kept my hubby to myself only. Maybe it's egoistic but I liked him and didn't want to share. Yeah, I am non-liberal and tough girl

Yes I saw many popular girls registered for several years. The profiles were still active. So I think they have issues. Though if girl is new doesn't mean she is new on the dating scene. Girl may post herself, meet someone, delete profile and then it doesn't work and she goes back. It happened to me several times but usually it took me not more than 3-4 weeks to find somebody seemingly good. If a girl is not ugly, not lazy, writes interesting letters and has a good command of English and doesn't believe she is a princess around unworthy, it doesn't take long.

OMG!  No wonder it did not take you long to find a husband.   

[Rational_Julia]

Good tactic Julia. Curious, how long on the average did that seemingly good ones stayed in contact with you before disappearing?

Well, my first boyfriend was from Canada, we were together for about 2 years (he visited several times), then I had 3-5 months relationships. Then I met Steve and in spring it will be 3 years from time we got acquainted.

[Rational_Julia]

OMG!  No wonder it did not take you long to find a husband.   

Well, I am who I am, never played victim-type weak woman. And we are the good match with my husband, he likes my strong personality. So for every type there is a match, it's pretending that causes trouble. When a person plays some role, he or she attracts wrong people.

[Zmejka]

Also on freepersonals - about half an year on and off (I mean updating my profile, getting letters, then losing interest at some point when no interesting correspondence happened etc.)

[Saltheart]

Joined EM - got about 35 inquiries/letters - corresponded with a few - nice girls...found a girl waaaay out of my league (in the most popular category) but as stunning as she was her profile was just perfect...soulful, deep, intelligent, not sappy, grounded, etc...had some glam photos (tasteful) and  some refreshingly normal ones...was one of the very few I sent a "like" to... She contacted me a couple weeks later...she was getting hundreds a day... She thought I had "kind" eyes haha...I'm avg looking dude, bit overweight,...she liked my profile...she had become a pro at sizing up profiles fast...started about 3-4 weeks heavy correspondence 3-5 long emails a day, hen little bit of Skype, then lots of phone calls...we grilled each other on everything but in an open and honest way...she came out 4 weeks after that for 2 weeks which we extended to 5...she had an American visa....fell in love for real although we were clearly in love prior to ever meeting...met her at airport...I was late...she says your late...I grin, she grins...had a ball....we decided she should go home for couple weeks to think about things...2 weeks later she came back...we decided to "give it a go" - bout 3 months later we decided to marry....then got immigration stuff started, converted her tourist visa - got marred ( about 7-8 months into relationship) - apparently we conceived the night of our marriage (was psyched and bummed at same time, we both had many things we wanted to do first as a new couple) - been married a little over 2 years - 16 month old daughter..We're both crazy about each other...my family was shockingly not too skeptical about her...I think frankly because she's just so damn genuinely sweet/caring...it's been best 2 1/2 years of my life and I hope I can always say that.  I've been through a hell marriage once...I'm not foolish enough to think divorces don't happen...we work hard at communicating when there are misunderstandings or hurt feelings which happens sometimes.  We're both givers - share many of the same views, etc...she's very accepting even if I sit around in my underwear all day.  She says I'm like a sweet house cat.  Haha - good thing?  Hope so lol.


All this and I've never stepped foot in Russia.  We may go this summer for 4-5 weeks to visit her fam/friends.


I'm still a fan of EM - it seemed like a genuine site - at least for me it was.


Good luck.

Ps - this is for Paulie...never once did she ask for money or about my financial condition..and as I was in transition housing when she visited me..it certainly didn't lend any impression that I was ok.  It didn't even come up until I asked for a prenup.  That was a "little" difficult...she's a romantic...but she signed it.  She wants to make her own way but she's under no pressure to do so - it's self imposed,,.and man is she frugal, it not in a cheap way...just more in a "why would I buy another pair of pants if I have 3-4 perfectly god ones already?  Hard to buy her gifts because if they aren't practical she thinks I'm being a retard...she rather we would go on a short trip or something.  Very refreshing.

- Salty


Sorry for typos...ipad.

[Muzh]

Good to hear from you Salty. Enjoy the holidays.

[calmissile]

Salty,

Great to read your story.  My wife and I are in the same kind of bliss you speak about.  It seems our wives share a lot of personality traits.

My wife also made no financial demands.  I had a hard time keeping still about Paulie's situtation.

The most important lesson I learned (the hard way) was to be patient, and wait until you find the most perfect personality before making the big step into marriage.

Have a nice holiday season.