You Deserve Rape

[GQBlues]

I understand what you are saying.  I also know of a case in my University based city like  this.  The man left his wife and children in middle of night and was raping college girls in their apartments.  Yes, it was non-consensual sex, but the girls all testified that he was in all other respects kind and considerate, discussed their studies with them,  etc.  No attempts to hurt, humiliate, etc....

 
Well, that's pretty funny there. Anyone is free to violate anyone as long as they do it nicely. What do we need laws for then, eh?

 
"Hi, how are you? Do you mind if I took your purse and rob you? I promise not to hurt you in any fashion and maybe we can go to Starbucks after so I can buy you Cafe Au Lait? ."
 
"Hi, I didn't mean to startle and wake you from your sleep? Do you mind if I force my way with you sexually? I promise not to hurt you in any fashion and maybe I can spare a few minutes after I'm done so we talk discuss how your day went at school ."

[Misha]

Note:  Again, I am not condoning rape or trying to make excuses for it.  It is only my contention that rape is not always just for dominance.  So just because sex may be available at home (or not) doesn't prove the man goes out only to dominate, hurt or humiliate  through sex.

Yes, but the research indicates that rape is rarely only about sex. As one author sums up nicely:

"From a different perspective, Prentky and Knight (1991) suggested that power and sexual factors are not separate from each other, and that anger and sadistic sexual factors also overlap. This is also suggested by Barbaree and Marshall (1991). In reality, sexual factors are inherent in all crimes of rape, which may be the reason why researchers tend to focus on other factors, such as power and anger, for discriminating one type of rape from another. Most of the research and the typologies that stem from this research focus on the cognitions and motivations of rapists (Hudson & Ward, 1997; Knight & Prentky, 1990; Langdon & Marshall, 2001). In fact, in a recent review of his typology system, Knight (1999) identified the four primary motivations of rapists as being opportunity, pervasive anger, sexual gratification and vindictiveness."

Then, you have to throw in humiliation into the mix. Simply put, without the anger and the desire to humiliate, sexual drive alone will not usually lead to rape. However, some rapists may delude themselves in believing that the victims were "consenting":

"Theme 2: kissing/fondling. This theme included the less sexually intrusive categories of sexual assault, such as kissing, fondling and touching. The data indicated that a large number of assaults (41/130 or 31.5%) contained kissing and/or fondling as part of the assault. This finding suggests that rapists may be trying to convince themselves that the assault is mutually enjoyable and possibly consensual, given that this behaviour is frequently present in consensual sexual relationships."

Some may even try to make it seem as if they care about the victim as the Australian authors of the study below mention.

Source: [size=78%]http://www.hawaii.edu/hivandaids/Behavioural_Characteristics_of_Rapists.pdf[/size]

[ML]

He still had control over them, though, didn't he?

Boe, I am not disagreeing with much of what you say.  And, yes, I agree to this point you make.  I was only reporting what the girls told in court . . . which was he did not try to humiliate them, and was otherwise kind and considerate.

He, nevertheless, is in prison; I don't remember the length of sentence, and haven't read about any parole hearings, etc.

[ML]

Well, that's pretty funny there. Anyone is free to violate anyone as long as they do it nicely. What do we need laws for then, eh?

Hey, GQ;  you and I know it is not funny at all.   
And you well know I wasn't trying to condone what he did, decriminalize it or any such.
Just reporting on a case that was in our newspapers for several months.
The messenger here.

[BillyB]

He still had control over them, though, didn't he?

All crimes have a degree of control over a victim. Guy robs a bank or steals a car are a few examples. Maybe the primary goal of a criminal is to dominate a victim or maybe his goal was simply stealing money or a car? Between seeing a bank teller in fear and begging for mercy or stealing money, my bet is that a bank robber is at the bank to steal money.

[ML]

Yes, but the research indicates that rape is rarely only about sex. As one author sums up nicely:

Misha, I already admitted that I don't think rape is always about sexual satisfaction and can also be for domination as reported in studies such as that you quote.

My only contention is that domination is not always the reason.

As I will state for the 3rd time; I  have never thought about having sex for domination, I don't know of any of my male friends who think this way, so I can't grasp that men who rape are always thinking only about domination.

[Misha]

As I will state for the 3rd time; I  have never thought about having sex for domination, I don't know of any of my male friends who think this way, so I can't grasp that men who rape are always thinking only about domination.

No, but it can be a form of domination/aggression whereby the men delude themselves in thinking that it is something else.

[Boethius]

I  have never thought about having sex for domination, I don't know of any of my male friends who think this way, so I can't grasp that men who rape are always thinking only about domination.

They may not be always thinking of domination.   They may not be dominant in their relationships, for example, with their wives/girlfriends.  See Shadow's example.

[Faux Pas]

This idea that rape was for dominance rather than sexual pleasure came along or was greatly enhanced with the feminist movement.

I have never had any inclination toward rape; but all sex I have is for pleasure, not dominance.

Thus I think this idea of rape for dominance is hoky.  But the idea is repeated so much that it has gained quite a bit of credence.

Misha, I already admitted that I don't think rape is always about sexual satisfaction and can also be for domination as reported in studies such as that you quote.

My only contention is that domination is not always the reason.

As I will state for the 3rd time; I  have never thought about having sex for domination, I don't know of any of my male friends who think this way, so I can't grasp that men who rape are always thinking only about domination.

Nice waffle. Two step much?

[Muzh]