She wants me to send her money for her plane ticket....

[ukguy1977]

Where is the evidence of that? For all we know, he bummed out like Ronnie speculated

[diverboy70]

What makes me a little frustrated on this board is that when things go south on the first attempt, members just seems to disapear! I can see the that as an first reaction, but hey, I think thatīs more the rule!!

To succeed in this you maybe have to try a couple of times, if you donīt have the time or means donīt even try this!

[Ronnie]

You're right DB. 

Bombing is nothing to be ashamed of.  My first WOVO went south.  Despite our long telephone calls and many emails, when we saw each other in person, things didn't click for me or for her.  We gave it about a week, then to her credit, she told me there was no point in continuing.

The plan B lady on that same trip was very attractive and was wanting to further our relationship to the point of marriage, but I saw too many behavioral problems with her and at the end of my second trip I made the hard decision to move on.  This pattern was repeated several times on subsequent trips before settling on my present wife.

Clark's very glowing description of himself on this board is one reason I think his insecurity will be a handicap.

[kievstar]

I will post again.  Clark is doing fine. 

[msmoby_ru]

MaxxumUSA , you are not alone- many men made same " mistakes" and even more. So did my now husband. It was not stupidity or ignorance- he knew he was risking but he was rewarded.

and WHO was discussing "modesty" just now ?

Clark is doing fine

You seem to speak with some "authority!" .... and *I* believe, you .... I guess Clark doesn't feel the need to "gloat")

I'll be happy for him if he enjoyed his trip - we shouldn't ask about the state of his wallet

[Doll]

and WHO was discussing "modesty" just now

What are you talking about?

[msmoby_ru]

What are you talking about?

Doll, who was I quoting?...

"Pots and Kettles" ... Do you think your remark about your hubbie being "rewarded" was "modest" ??!!!!

[TheWongs]

The plan B lady on that same trip was very attractive and was wanting to further our relationship to the point of marriage, but I saw too many behavioral problems with her and at the end of my second trip I made the hard decision to move on.  This pattern was repeated several times on subsequent trips before settling on my present wife.

Sorry guys, but I've just moved house and been offline for a while. The good news is... I'm back!

Anyway.... Something I wanted to reply to...

The quote above is not someone who went WOVO! A "plan B" is not WOVO!

My first time to Ukraine was a genuine WOVO with no backup or "plan B" and is here in my trip report for everyone to read about. Yes, it went "pear shaped", but opened up a whole new can of worms for me, ending in my marriage last August!

[CaptB]

I have been away from the board for awhile. This thread caught my eye. I see the last post was Oct. 4 (today is Nov. 21). My reply is directed to the gentleman who started the thread. It is no shame to crash & burn on a first (or several) attemps in this international dating process. Most here, who are now married, did not make it the first time around. No surprise in this, at all, when dating here at home. I dated more women than I can count (here in the states) until I found one to marry. Many go into this process of overseas dating as an "easy" solution to finding a partner. As jb once said this is not DATING 101.......this is the "graduate" program. And it does'nt stop at finding a partner. There is the waiting, immigration, return visits and......."keeping her"..........."after" she arrives. Misunderstandings......cultural differences......those Russian "quirks" you just have to accept (but of course she does'nt have to accept "yours"  ) This is the advanced line......and its not for everybody (no shame). Hopefully he does'nt slink off to a similar Russian site......to try again. Most are here to help......and feel for your situation. If this is what you want.....then you just plug along (like the majority here)........until you get it right. If you thought this was going to be an easy solution......we probably will not see you again. Hopefully you will give it another "shot"................If you hav'nt figured it out.....it is really what life is all about.............

Good Luck

Capt B

[GQBlues]

I like this thread, so I will post one time...

I was onced in your situation, although my case involved more than 1 case (orig. 4, eventually 2). I do not want to devalue the merit of men telling you (and others) never to send money to women you never met, but in my personal case I felt at the time that taking a certain amount of risks was a vital part of my personal process. Once I submitted to it, I stood behind it every step of the way.

So I not only sent money for plane tickets, but also added contingencies for expenses they will/may incur for their travel; i.e. food, airport transportation, etc..then book each one of them their own rooms in the hotel I stayed in (in Moscow). I am not rich. I'm poorer than Joe the plumber but I did have a budget for the endeavor and was prepared to stay within it.

Each one of these women, including those I was to meet that lives in Moscow, were all chance meeting. Women I wrote to and spoke with for 2-3- months. I was time and financially invested, but not emotionally spent. I liked them all as people, and trusted them enough to take the chance and the trip. But I was not prepared to invest emotionally until after meeting in person - if it even warrants it. If my moment in time back then didn't yield a prospect, I was content in going back to dating women in my world.

Bottom line, every advice and opinions you'll get from venues such as message boards are borne out of good intentions. They all have values and merits in their own right. The more the better. However, they will be as subjective as the women you'll date; and as with dating, understanding who you are - and being honest with your intentions and your limitations - are vital in your decision process. Bad decisions are borne out of people trying to function beyond their means and capability.

Anyway, all the women I sent plane ticket monies to all showed up. As a matter of fact, I am happily married ( approaching 4 years) with one of them. Even if I never got married, or worst, hypothetically none of the women showed up, will I do it again - the answer is 'yes'. For me, trust need to be home before love comes knocking on my door.

Good luck, Clark!

[Gator]

I contributed to this thread early in its life, so I will go off-topic to say hello to a freindly face who I have not seen in years.

Anyway, all the women I sent plane ticket monies to all showed up. As a matter of fact, I am happily married ( approaching 4 years) with one of them. Even if I never got married, or worst, hypothetically none of the women showed up, will I do it again - the answer is 'yes'. For me, trust need to be home before love comes knocking on my door.

Hi Matt,

Splendid to see you again.

I remember your trip very well, having shared a beer with you, Irina (Donna Pedro) and Sabina at a Russian type of Chucky Cheese.  You wrote in another forum an outstanding trip report, long since vaporized I assume.

Glad to know your marriage is happy.  That is what this is all about.

Sabina and I finally tied the knot this past spring, 6 years after our first meeting.  There were a few dramatic moments along the way. 

Sabina and the kids are thriving here in Florida.  She hit the ground running in a glorious manner.  I now have a bumper sticker saying:  "My Child is a Superstar Student at TP Elementary School."  Not only have my two sons accepted them and enjoyed them, my younger son is close, almost like a long lost big brother.  The only complaint - the recent cold weather (how soon they forget).

[Chicagoguy]

Question,
Is GQBlues married to Donna Pedro ?  I sure remember her feisty comments on the other board and her descriptions of her husband

A great woman !             IMHO

[BillyB]

What makes me a little frustrated on this board is that when things go south on the first attempt, members just seems to disapear!

Wow, DB said this right before he went on his trip where the woman dumped him soon after meeting him and he got robbed. DB, where are you? Some posters are frustrated you've disappeared!

Question,
Is GQBlues married to Donna Pedro ?  I sure remember her feisty comments on the other board and her descriptions of her husband

A great woman !             IMHO

Matt(Bodine), is that you? If so, good to see ya again. If GQBlues is the Matt(Bodine) I've known on another forum years ago, then no, he is not married to Donna but a stunning 5' 11" RW.

[Ronnie]

Would that be the same Donna Pedro who said she wrote to AM, not the truth, but what she knew they wanted to hear?  Sounds like her creedo is that the ends justify the means.

[Gator]

Question,
Is GQBlues married to Donna Pedro ?  I sure remember her feisty comments on the other board and her descriptions of her husband

A great woman !             IMHO

No, GQ is not married to Donna Pedro (see BillyB's post above).

Yes, Donna Pedro is a great, intelligent woman.  Feisty, but forthright.  Her best saying, "If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster."  To which I replied a long time ago, "A RW has a two-year guarantee, which is better than a toaster."

[Vaughn]

Sabina and I finally tied the knot this past spring, 6 years after our first meeting.

May I write off-topic, too? Geeez, where have I been? Congratulations, Gator!

[Gator]

Vaughn,

Thanks.  It would be splendid if our marriage was as successful as yours.

[Markus]

I only read the title and am responding. Don't do it.

Mark

[i_am_ukrainian]

I never liked men who would discuss stuff like that. If you are willing to help her just do it! if you are not dont. It's that simple. and......yes $200 is not much at all.if you are not ready to pay that, are you gonna be able to pay all the visa expances in future?

[2tallbill]

I met her on Anastasia-International.  The phone calls were 40 minutes to an hour.  She has sent me dozens of pictures of herself with her cellphone.  One little such photo shoot were of her wearing a tank top t-shirt I sent her....ah.....those turned out well!  :-D  So...it's not a "Boris"...that is for sure.  We SMS each other ALL DAY LONG...sometimes it gets monotonaous because if I dont' answer within an hour she starts smsing me asking if everything is alright.  That is what I mean my clingy.  So, if she's doing this with other guys....it is a SERIUOS full time job. 

The phone calls are always light an bubbly.  There is never an itenerary, but always just sort of....nice.  Know what I mean?  She isn't a drop dead knock out...and she is very shy about sending provocative photos.  What else can I really tell you?  Seems to be a really nice girl......but don't they all? 

What bothers me is that if she IS a scam...I have invested so much EMOTIONAL equity in her, I will quickly become very bitter to this whole concept and never come back.  I don't want that, because I truely believe there are soem really great girls over there.  Maybe I should have just gone over un-announced and seen what fell through the cracks.  mmmm....they didn't sound quite right!

You have her real contact information, and use it a lot. Scammers don't do that. Typically I say, meet her
in her home city. What if you don't hit it off? You will be trapped together. The sunk cost fallacy:
the phenomenon whereby a person is reluctant to abandon a strategy or course of action because
they have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial.