REALITY CHECK!

[jb]

looking for a free drink and meal.

That's sad, poor thing probably hadn't eaten in days.

[jb]

Well, I got the new hot-rod ceiling fan installed and tested.... Gonna have to watch out for the "HI" speed setting however, when I switched it on, it blew the sofa over.     

[KenC]

jb,
TFF!!!
KenC

[Michelangelo]

That's sad, poor thing probably hadn't eaten in days.

I think she just had a salad and beer....I suspect she gets an agency date and meal every night :-)  Not a bad way to get a meal and practice your English.   Not bad for the man, either....this girl is HOT :-)

[Michelangelo]

And by the way JB, she used to have FIVE Santa pictures posted in her profile...now only one.  The one that got me was the shot from behind :-)

[BC]

Well, I got the new hot-rod ceiling fan installed and tested.... Gonna have to watch out for the "HI" speed setting however, when I switched it on, it blew the sofa over.     

Have to watch out for those things a bit.. If you have standard US ceiling height doing the 'Daddy baby-toss' can be very dangerous.  Toddlers have been killed before this way.  We have fans here but our ceilings are 10+ feet so plenty of headroom. When we visited my parents in the US my Dad warned me thank goodness.. I would have never thought about it.

I do love the fans tho.. even in winter helps distribute warm air evenly.

Enjoy

[jb]

Thanks, BC.

Not to worry, this house has vaulted ceilings and I almost got a nose bleed from working on a ladder that high.  Even with installing a 3 foot downrod to lower the fan I still couldn't toss a baby that high,,, although come to think about it,,, where is that toy poodle......

[catzenmouse]

Thanks, BC.

Not to worry, this house has vaulted ceilings and I almost got a nose bleed from working on a ladder that high.  Even with installing a 3 foot downrod to lower the fan I still couldn't toss a baby that high,,, although come to think about it,,, where is that toy poodle......

And when mama gets home again it would be you hanging from that ceiling fan... :hairraising:

[Turboguy]

Ken, and Ken,

What I find amusing is that all the married men completely understand the concept, while the single guys are struggling with some pretty basic stuff here.

Darn, did I get married without even knowing it.  Humm, maybe she is hiding under the bed.

[catzenmouse]

Darn, did I get married without even knowing it.  Humm, maybe she is hiding under the bed.

 Are you hiding things from us TG? Sure hope it was not a "too much vodka and wake up married kind of thing"...

Ken

[Shadow]

I do love the fans tho..

That is what every actor says 

[Turboguy]

No, guess not Ken,  I looked under the bed and even tried the closet and no one there.  Good thing I stayed away from the Vodka.

[PeeWee]

Once again, Peewee, you demonstrate an almost complete lack of understanding of Russian culture. You have said over and over that you have had several relationships with RWs.  I'm beginning to doubt your veracity.

You want, (and I see Bruno joining in) to rely upon a dictionary when you should be relying on experience.  Common usage of the term goes like this:  (Listen up closely, Bruno, I'm going to save your future marriage here)
To hang noodles on one's ears = to tell lies / talk nonsense

You say something nice about a woman, she smiles and blushed,,, and says; "You are hanging noodles from my ears".  Perhaps technically she is saying' "You are lying, or talking nonsense to me", but in truth, in common usage, she is acknowledging the complement.  Women love it when you hang noodles from their ears.  Between men and women involved in courtship the term refers to "sweet talk and complements".  Even if she isn't the most beautiful girl in the world when she gets up in the morning, even if her pies are not so tasty, you had better "hang some noodles from her ears", if you want the relationship to succeed.  If you've ever been around any Russian women for any length of time, you'd know this.   

You also claim to be a writer, a writer of books should know that common usage and dictionaries often don't get along.

Jb, as I said before I intend on living in the US, not in Russia. I don't plan on being a closet Russian, a psuedo Russian, I don't want to be converted to a Russian way of life, nor do I want to be a wanna be Russian like some of you lads seem to covet. There is no point in me knowing or carring a whole lot about Russian idioms. It is interesting, yes, but crucial in my progression to the end result of marriage, hardly. It is simply not that important.

In the end, the lady comes to America. We live as Americans and I would be surpised if my home is decorated any other way other then as an American home. I will continue to drive German cars without becoming a German. I will continue to smoke Cuban cigars with no thought of becoming a Cuban. I will eat Chinese food and my eyes will not become slanted. Russian noodles on anyone's ears will have little bearing on any relationship and, after all, why does anyone think it important that they must lie to their mate in order to make her happy? You are right. I don't get it nor do I not want to get it, for all of the reasons that I just mentioned.

I will admit that we have had some fun with with this and I am sure that we will continue to do so.


Peewee   



Peewee

[jb]

Peewee.

There's a degree of pomposity shown in this last post that puts you in the same class of men with Photoguy, those doomed to failure by their own mouth.  Anyone with a 9 foot tall ego like that, that kind of; 'it'll be my way or no way' attitude, will probably be the subjest of another failed crash and burn saga series,  but wait,,, you've already told us stories of long term RW relationships that failed.

I'm starting to wonder about you, Peewee.  I'm starting to think you have been hanging noodles from our ears, this general lack of knowledge regarding Russia and Russians points to a man who has been less than honest with us about his so-called many travels.  Oh, I don't doubt you've traveled overseas, but I'm starting to doubt you've spent much time in Russia or in the company of Russians.  Each one of those little stories that don't quite jive reveal quite a lot to those of us who live daily with a RW.

[chivo]

If anyone thinks he is better off, or that the flippant attitude of "I live in America so" is either selfish, naive, in possesion of a incredible ego, or just plain stupid.

to compare the woman you want to live the rest of your so called life with to a car or even better, a cigar  is just absurd. the last time i checked i didnt sleep, communicate, or make babies with any of these items.

part of brining a woman from the FSU to America includes that you will accept her for all that she is too. but more importantly, is the issue of making her life as comfortable as possible during her (and yours) very, very difficult transition. failing to do this is a HUGH mistake.

that she might in the end accept America (or anywhere else) for its virtues later down the line and do "as the Romans do" eventually is the most optimistic one can be.

i can 100% confirm that thinking that you dont have to accept this will be disastrous. matter of fact, your success overall, IMO, will directly correlate to your efforts put forth in this area. then again, its your life, we only live in it. good luck and peace out.

Chivo

[KenC]

Jb, as I said before I intend on living in the US, not in Russia. I don't plan on being a closet Russian, a psuedo Russian, I don't want to be converted to a Russian way of life, nor do I want to be a wanna be Russian like some of you lads seem to covet. There is no point in me knowing or carring a whole lot about Russian idioms. It is interesting, yes, but crucial in my progression to the end result of marriage, hardly. It is simply not that important.

In the end, the lady comes to America. We live as Americans and I would be surpised if my home is decorated any other way other then as an American home. I will continue to drive German cars without becoming a German. I will continue to smoke Cuban cigars with no thought of becoming a Cuban. I will eat Chinese food and my eyes will not become slanted. Russian noodles on anyone's ears will have little bearing on any relationship and, after all, why does anyone think it important that they must lie to their mate in order to make her happy? You are right. I don't get it nor do I not want to get it, for all of the reasons that I just mentioned.

I will admit that we have had some fun with with this and I am sure that we will continue to do so.


Peewee   

Peewee,
It all boils down to a matter of respect for the woman you are suppose to love and cherish for the rest of your life. If you don't respect how she came to be who she is, how can you ever claim to respect her? And then, why would you expect her to respect you?

I wanted to know and understand every little detail about my wife's history and culture in order to know her better as she did mine. We became experts on each other. Over the last 8 years together we truly got to know what makes each other tick. Needless to say, you should be a tad more interested in your future wife than your car, cigar, or your favorite meal. But in saying what you did, you did reveal your priorities. Good luck because you're gonna need it.
KenC

[Jumper]

that she might in the end accept America (or anywhere else) for its virtues later down the line and do "as the Romans do" eventually is the most optimistic one can be.

good post chivo..

i would say somewhere , some  guys do get lucky and thier wives adopt the western lifestyle instantly,
but its not the normal case by any means..
what chivo  suggested is certainly by far the norm,
and what  a man in a CROSS CULTURAL marriage  should initially expect.


peewee - shes isnt expecting you to turn *Russian*,
no matter where you live..
even if moving to her city.
She knows it would be virtually impossible for you to ever do,
and probably wouldnt want that even if you could..
even if you could become fluent in the language,,
and have a basic understanding of the culture,
without a living it long term , there is no way to really ever be Russian right?

thats a no brainer!
now, really think about that.

you are expecting what of her?
 
and instantly right? or what 6 months? 1 year?
2 years? timeline please?
as if its ten years, what do you propose to do int ge meantime?
what if its 2 years? whats acceptible?
is this gouing to be in the prenup?


she can learn the language, she can eventually, come to grips with the culture she is living in, and maybe even like it,,
but she will always be Russian.
it will most likely effect your daily life in both good and bad ways!
it's actually up to you , depending on your attitude about it.


do you need to learn idioms?
no.
but its strange with your time there, that you dint pick them up without trying.
thats all anyone was saying.


does a decent understanding of HER culture and language really help you in a cross cultural nmarriage?
wow peewee,,
you surely recognize the unmeasurable and priceless help that is,
 in a daily sirtuation being married to someone from another culture and base language?

if it was a business partner it would be priceless ?
much less your spouse..

no you dont really need to understand the Japanese language or culture to appreciate your Camry,
although i'd bet some understanding of the German culture and mentality,
 is at its heart fundanmentally why you drive a german car??
or they are just shinier than the others?
 
your own example shows :
not a need to learn a culture, but that a base understanding of one plays a role in your daily life without you even thinking hard about it.
on something as mundane as the choice of transaportation.

All this doesnt mean you have to be Russian!
 noone  was saying that?
but a healthy respect and decent understanding will make both of your lives much easier and better..

like you said she is relocating here and will be doing 99% of the adapting..
its daunting !
(ive moved to another country/culture before and can attest to that first hand )

you understanding her culture and language a bit , will ease her transition.. and YOURS, if you think you wont be going thru one,in a cros cultural marriage,  
you are counting on the lottery.
it happens ! but i dont know of anyone whos won it.

If you have the attitude that you dont even need to try,
to ease this time period for the both of you.....
then you certainly make an already difficult path,,
 much harder to take.


Sorry, many of you guys really make me scrtach my head..
and wonder why you are even thinking about a  cross cultural marriage.

because her cultural base certainly does NOT end at a taste for style, long legs, and a sexy accent.

if thats the only part you see , or think is of as any interest ,
or think will have any fundamental bearing on your life once she is here..

Gawd help you..
no Forum can.

[KenC]

You can take the girl out of Russia, but you can't take the Russian out of the girl.
KenC

[PeeWee]

Peewee,
It all boils down to a matter of respect for the woman you are suppose to love and cherish for the rest of your life. If you don't respect how she came to be who she is, how can you ever claim to respect her? And then, why would you expect her to respect you?

I wanted to know and understand every little detail about my wife's history and culture in order to know her better as she did mine. We became experts on each other. Over the last 8 years together we truly got to know what makes each other tick. Needless to say, you should be a tad more interested in your future wife than your car, cigar, or your favorite meal. But in saying what you did, you did reveal your priorities. Good luck because you're gonna need it.
KenC

I've never been one much for planning things out. I just do it and then figure it out as I go. It works good for me that way. I am sure over the years I will find out all kings of things about the woman that I marry I am just not going to spend my time doing it all before I marry her. Who she is now, what she wants, her immediate and long term goals, are what is important to me. The past it the past. It's done and gone. Here a now and the future is a little more important to me.

Peewee

[andrewfi]

It just occurred to me that you didn't get it.

Maybe I should write a book entitled; "The Care And Feeding Of Russian Women".  I wonder if it would sell....

Nope:
the many who need it think they don't so they would never buy it.
the few who don't need it would buy because they know they can never know enough - but there are very few of those people around.

[Michelangelo]

Maybe I should write a book entitled; "The Care And Feeding Of Russian Women"....

WHAT?  Yikes!!!  Hope the author of the marriage broker act docent' hear about this... :-)

[milestogo]

Now, back to a main point; How many agencies out there really provide true matchmaking services? I am willing to pay an agency that actually offers some research-based matchmaking. The majority of agencies out there, good or bad, simply seem to be middle men. I call to the good agency owners out there, please answer this. Perhaps this agency with such services already exists.

It depends on what you mean by "true matchmaking".  The ladies at amazingloves.com do a very good job of guiding and advising you as well as screening their ladies.  They are very well thought of by the folks who have used them (search here and on RWG).