Interesting Situation

[calmissile]

$765 for the paperwork to get married in UA is an absolute ripoff! Why don't you come to UA and do the paperwork yourself, for less than $100, if you still want to marry her?

Not sure how someone would do it for $100.   All of my American/English documents needed to be translated into Ukrainian and then notarized.  That alone was several hundred $$.  Not only birth certificates but all divorce papers and marriages and the rest of the requirements as well.  Perhaps the filing fees were about $100, but there were a lot of other pieces to the puzzle that added up.     

Edit:  Perhaps I mayh have misunderstood you.  Perhaps the marriage only could be done for $100.  I was thinking about all the additional paperwork for the visa.

[Patagonie]

I do respect your judgement .

In this case the only person that knows the truth is the girl . I have questions . I will give her opportunities to clear the air over this . It is upto her .
Until then I will reserve the judgement .

One thing that happened recently is the conversation we had after we decided to take the next step towards marriage . The girl wanted to know if it will cause any drain on my finances if she moves to the us and not work for a couple of years as her qualifications may or may not be recognized in the US . In the name of transparency and open communication , I shared details about my situation . Since then , I felt some change in her "expectations"  which have skyrocketed ....

You should have never let her know some numerals about your paycheck and whatever.
Now the fact that you are suspicious about $765 compare to all the money you are earning shows you as cheapskate. This is called the kiss death when a man has a relationship with a russian or ukrainian women.
Expect to have a LOT of problems and fights now with her.
A good russian or ukrainian woman takes care about your money Provided that she don't have a false understanding of your means. She ONLY sees the numerals, not the taxes, and all you have to pay before getting the net money. FSU women have NO understandings about western economics, that's not a question of IQ, that's a question of working in the western countries, something they haven't.
In the name of transparency and communication .... sorry but you are not a child, that's your money, you have helped her, you are serious, you are surely right to consider that you can welcome her even if she cannot work the first two years, but for the rest that is your money and you don't have to prove her anything. You have to explain her calmly how things are going to work. She will trust you or not, that's the key.

$765 are overpriced. YOu need to move your ass to Ukraine and take the time to do all things properly. A marriage is a serious adventure. Treat it lightly and you will suffer the consequences.

An ukrainian woman already involved in such documents or a local terp would be a great help to show you the way.
Your woman is not necessary aware of the real prices for such things. But IMHO she sould be aware and take enough time to dig in it. Or consider that you are rich enough (your paycheck) to pay such tiny amount, her job being done (she searched and she found the informations needed for the translations).
You can  yourself, you have now a lot of REeducation to do while explaining her what is the real western life (at least 3 years). Consider that $765 is just the begin of her new life adjusted to your known means.

[Gator]

The $765 is peanuts.   What matters most are your feelings and her feelings. 

Maybe you need to spend more time with her, talk this over, resolve misunderstandings and thereby build trust.  If I were her I would feel offended.  Either you are questioning my integrity or you think me incompetent.  Then I discover you are a "rich" man and yet are questioning me about what amounts as peanuts to you.  I would think you are a "greedy" man. 

Yes, more time together is needed.  Maybe a fiancee visa is better with more visits to Kiev while waiting for the paper to clear.  Maybe a tourist visa for her to see how you live. 

Marriage is damn serious.  Know your woman. 

[Sous02]

If people are willing to commit to getting married why the double standard just because one spouse lives in a different country. Why not the same disclosure that you would share with your fiancé if she lived down the street? If because she lives in a different country you are still suspicious should you be getting married?

[Noch1]

I tend to agree with above. Why are you getting married, when you are questioning
how much she spends on Docs? Is she to expect you to dole out and account
for every penny? If you have any trust issues at all now, why would you want to get married? IMO more time with your intended bride is need, for both your sakes.

[cc3]

CC-- why not get some specific details of what is being translated here?
Having recently done the documentation it should be fresh in your mind(s) of the process required.
It is not helpful to say it is a ripoff--that in essence is the op's question-in effect--is it a rip off and if so--how?
Av also mentions some costs--that are higher than your estimates-- so--why not examine more closely before reaching a conclusion.
To the op-there is some good advice above- I will add mine--hasten slowly to a conclusion !
Mende and Lily touch on this above---Girl may be 100% legitimate in what she believes here.Dealing with bureaucracy in Ukraine can be a nightmare and if she is not experienced with it--she could be being told anything.
I would work through this piece by piece and see how it all looks.

On asking for money--some posters here are clueless--money is in very short supply for most people in Ukraine and any extra outgoing is likely to create considerable stress.

JayH, I generally agree with your posts, mostly the ones regarding geopolitical matters, but on this matter, you are so totally full of CRAP! I live in Ukraine, and have lived here for the last year and a half. I just went through the complete bureaucratic hassle of applying for a marriage certificate, waiting the requisite 30 days to be married, and traveling to Krakow, Poland to receive my 'D' visa, which allowed me to return to Ukraine to apply for my Temporary Residence Permit (TRP). I am here to tell you that the total cost of processing all necessary paperwork, translations, notarizations, and copies, was less than $100, mostly because my highly intelligent and frugal wife handled it all. When we took the 5 day trip to Krakow, the total travel cost was well under $700. We traveled in a private compartment in the Lviv to Krakow train, stayed in a quite comfortable one bedroom apartment on the border of Old Town Krakow, ate in at least one highly reviewed restaurant every day, and generally had an extremely enjoyable 5 day mini-honeymoon.

My wife's best friend, who lives in Kyiv, and who is also married to a Yank, informed my wife that their total paperwork processing costs to marry in Kyiv  totaled to less than $100 also. Both my wife's best friend's husband and I had to have divorce certifications apostilled (in the US), translated, and notarized.

Tell me, again, why I should not consider $765 to do what my wife and her best friend, in two widely geographically separated Ukrainian cities, Kyiv and Lviv, have done for less than $100, a total ripoff.

By the way, Av's listing of expenses included a professional photographer, a special room, dinner, and his wife's dress...and still, his total was $400. His expenses were totally incomparable to 'paperwork processing' expenses which the OP was questioning.

Parenthetically, the application fee for a 'D' visa at a Ukrainian consulate in a foreign country is $325 for a US citizen. This amount is obviously not included in my estimation of costs for processing marital paperwork.

[Patagonie]

If people are willing to commit to getting married why the double standard just because one spouse lives in a different country. Why not the same disclosure that you would share with your fiancé if she lived down the street? If because she lives in a different country you are still suspicious should you be getting married?

Marriage doesn't mean to disclose everything, you had had a life before and disclose in such type of country what you have can bring you more problems than rewards.
That's a typical european or US way of thinking but you are marrying a women from an OTHER culture who lives in a country quite different with a capital per person of 10 grands.

[Faux Pas]

Marriage doesn't mean to disclose everything, you had had a life before and disclose in such type of country what you have can bring you more problems than rewards.
That's a typical european or US way of thinking but you are marrying a women from an OTHER culture who lives in a country quite different with a capital per person of 10 grands.

Patie, so what is it that you do not disclose to your wife?

FTR I disagree with this statement. If a marriage is an honest marriage there are no secrets. It has taken me a long time to accept that but, I have succumbed. You can't expect your wife to be completely open and honest with you if you are not willing to be the same with her. IMHO

edit to add: early in communications and even dating, by no means disclose assets and worth but after marriage, there is no excuse not to disclose everything

[Patagonie]

Hi FP
I do agree that after some years of marriage your wife should be aware about a lot of things.
However you still shouldn't explain her how many gf you had had, when you met them, in which position you f...ed them, and tell her that Kelly Jonathan, one of your neighbour, had spent a full night of sex in july 2004 with you. All things that you have to keep silent, to avoid a knife in your back 

[Faux Pas]

Hi FP
I do agree that after some years of marriage your wife should be aware about a lot of things.
However you still shouldn't explain her how many gf you had had, when you met them, in which position you f...ed them, and tell her that Kelly Jonathan, one of your neighbour, had spent a full night of sex in july 2004 with you. All things that you have to keep silent, to avoid a knife in your back 

Ah, I see now  Thats the kind of information I would offer only when asked specifically. I was referring more to assets/wealth kind of thing.

I now understand what you mean. I did not reveal all of my finances immediately to my wife after we married. Certainly not before. But now here almost 8 years later she has learned of all of that. Mostly because she asked. But no, I generally do not discuss any of the personal aspects of whom and how and would not again, unless asked specifically. But, I don't care about her's either. This things just are not an issue

[Noch1]

Seems the OP has disappeared 

[russellarnold]

Seems the OP has disappeared 

Because the original poster is really successful in his job and manages a team , he is busy . .

Here is the update , got the documents done for 65 dollars , he he he.

Someone was trying to rip my girl off.

For all the guys , who were positive , thank you for your support .


Expect a detailed update in two months with possible pictures as well.

Take care all guys .

[russellarnold]

One more thing , the money we saved is going to buy my girl an Apple Watch 2 in March 2016 .
 

[cc3]

Outstanding! Congrats to you and your lady for being discerning about costs.