Hi...An Update On My Situation....

[IAmZon]

Listen, I am one of the few people here that understand where you are with the RLM thing! 

NOTHING COMES FROM CHOOSING BUT CHOOSING ...

There are SOME real ladies there, but there is a lot of smoke too!  And, if you put it in reverse; learn alot; and use other methods of introduction ... you can get all the good with none of the bad.

[Infoman]

Hi, Rivardco...

What do you mean when you say "nothing comes from choosing but choosing"?  And I do understand about learning a lot, of course....what other methods of intoduction are you referring to?  Phone, for one?  I intend to - but it's basically impossible at RLM.

Infoman

[IAmZon]

choosing - or fantasizing - becomes a habit at RLM.  There are sooooooo many girls that apparently give you the time of day (is that normal), that one falls into the trap of just saying "hi" to this new girl ... ohhh she wrote back.  and it is a never ending cycle.

Take your most prized profiles in you black book, and write a letter saying that you have meet with another woman.  Tell them all that you are a serious man and would not play games with them.  So, for a short while you have promised to give this ONE relationship a chance to grow.  Then, ask them for their permission to resume correspondence if this relationship begins to show incompatibilities.  See what their answers are. 

Regarding other forms of introductions.  I think you should try them all.  www.luckylovers.net  match.com  letter writting like Kuna; and a trip to a given city and "power dating" like Jerry did.  And be like Casey at bat!  Let the first two pitches go bye (again ... unless you are really READY)

[Infoman]

Rivardco...

Yes, i know what you mean byu the never-ending cycle. That's what I meant before - so many interested in me at RLM, yet at EM, by and large, 85% NOT INTERESTED.  I will say again, though, that I know many of the ladies I'm interested in at RLM are for real.  It just is a never-ending cycle, and I'm paying for it in many ways - and I'm tired of it.

The ONE relationship thing you mentioned, I understand.  But WHICH one?  I swear, it frustrates me to the point of going complete cold turkey on RLM and concentrating solely on this new lady at Maxsim's that I already like very much.  The reason that I haven't don't that yet is I keep thinking that I really could be missing out on a lady that would be perfect for me.

As far as the other options you mentioned:  match.com - been there, done that.  I was disgusted in "my results" from places like this - yahoo.com, true.com, and others.  That's a major reason why I decided to expand my horizons.  Luckylovers?  I may be wrong, but I can swear this is a haven for scammers.  Letter writing?  Doing that now...and my typing fingers and brain hurt.  Trip to a given city?  Great idea.  Power dating?  Thought about trying it - seriously.  I'd love to hear comments from anyone that has either tried it or knows of someone who tried it (sorry...not sure who Jerry is - yet.)

Thanks...

Infoman

[jb]

Has it ever occured to you that the vast majority of women who respond to you on some websites are not real?  BeHappy in Tver is a classic in that regard.  Sign up with BeHappy and state in your profile that you are a 4 foot tall, 86 y.o. midget, and the 24 y.o.'s will inundate you with sexy letters. 

Don't fall for that crap.

[catzenmouse]

Sign up with BeHappy and state in your profile that you are a 4 foot tall, 86 y.o. midget, and the 24 y.o.'s will inundate you with sexy letters. 

Don't fall for that crap.

And don't forget the picture for your profile...

[Admin]

PSS ... give a link to this Maxsim joint please

Keep it under your hat (not quite ready to go 'live') - but here are the upcoming RWD Links -- http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/links

Maksim - and many others - can be found there.

- Dan

[viking]

FYI To all. Luckylovers is scam heaven. And if "Alena_love" reaches out to you, run.

[Infoman]

jb, catzenmouse (hilarious photo!), Dan, and Viking....

Thanks for the input.   Yes, I know they are not all real.  I know of some who are - for sure, but the rest, who really knows for sure?   I have to sort everything out here and figure out exactly what I'm going to do, but everybody has given me some great advice.  One thing is for sure....the massive letter-writing at RLM has to stop; it's getting me nowhere fast.  I hate to hurt some of these nice women, but I think it has to be done.  It's my fault for being inexperienced at this.  I'm trying to learn, and I want to do the right thing.  I think the right thing is taking a trip. While I prepare for that, I also think that keeping in contact with a few of my top possibilities - and only a few - should continue until we meet.  All the rest?  Don't know - the goodbye letter or the hell with it?  I know the goodbye letter is the mature, proper thing to do, and I will most likely do that.

Thanks...

Infoman

[Vaughn]

  I hate to hurt some of these nice women, but I think it has to be done.

  Most of 'em don't believe you're coming anyway. I am curious - from what areas or regions of the FSU are all these penpals? It seems to me that until you've decided exactly where you'd like to visit, Dear Janes might be a tad hasty. I would not recommend that you divide your time between distant destinations
unless you have plenty of time to kill traveling.

  Re: Backup Plans. If you end up traveling to Yoshkar Ola, and suddenly the hopeful feelings are tempered with reality, Maksim
and staff won't waste much time finding you dates, and pronto.
The place is crawling with available women.

  Re: Language Lessons. The subject will come up via Maksim's,
I guarantee it - and I'd urge you to hold off funding anything
until you've actually met. I'm not attempting to cramp the agency style, but they have huge programs, many offerings - one of the most complete photo studios I've ever seen west of the Atlantic,
language lessons, an in-house travel agency (Virginia, which BTW
is a handy place to book rooms in Moscow at fair discounts - even
with last-minute plans), and of course the usual flowers and gifts.
It all boils down to how dependent you wish to be on them. For the first-timer who's needing direction (and communication help) it's a good deal - but from what I've observed time after time, when a couple emerges into some form of commitment, be it engagement or just steady dating, they tend to blaze their own trail and dispense with the services.

 Have you begun to check out the Visitor's Visa process yet?

[Infoman]

Vaughn...

Thanks for the input.  The women I am talking to are from St. Pete, Kyiv, Odessa, Moscow, Kherson, Lima - YES, Lima - and that's a real problem, I know.  Hell no, I don't have the time or anything else to travel to all of those places.  I have gotten real good advice and the first thing I have to do is sever all ties with RLM.  Then, it's going to be a visit to one city or region - most likely Yoshkar-Ola, as I joined Maxsim's really to meet this one lady, and already, the correspondence is going VERY well.  I like her a lot.  And I agree with blazing one's own trail; Maxsim's is there to facilitate things mostly, offer services....and basically, the ball is really in my court.  My conscience is bothering me about leaving some wonderful women that I met at RLM, but too much money and time has already been lost there, and it's my fault that the situation is so out of hand.  I think the right thing to do is to wipe that slate clean, hope that things work out with my Yoshkar-Ola lady, meet her, and have a backup plan for that city / area, just in case.  When you say that Maxsim won't waste time and the place is crawling with available women, how would one implement this backup plan without the assistance of the local agency (Maxsim)?  And no, I haven't checked into the Visitor Visa yet, because I never felt I was at that point, but I certainly will now.

I am very thankful to have a bunch of knowledgable, helpful guys here, like you, and many others, to help steer me in the right direction.  It's more appreciated than I can say.

Infoman

[Vaughn]

When you say that Maxsim won't waste time and the place is crawling with available women, how would one implement this backup plan without the assistance of the local agency (Maxsim)? 

Without agency assistance? Well, there are several ways that'll depend on your own style and preferences. If you're into the nightlife, there are clubs like Faraon and the Mask. I'll have to go back and reread your posts - as after my busy day I'm clueless about exactly what you're seeking. I have contacts, friends and relatives there who know others - you've got to immerse yourself in the local dynamic. If you have time, go back and read my TR about Yoshkar Ola - I mentioned that at a graduation we sat behind a goddess - Elena Yurievna, one of my wife's co-teachers, 30's, divorced - and IMO, very distracting even to a happily married old goat. I guest-taught in her English class in 2002. Anybody here lands a lady like her and they've won the lottery.

  Creativity helps. Contact the English Club of Y-O and offer to appear as a guest speaker, say, on the second or third day of your visit. Make this a surprise to your intended lady. This puts one in a good position - why? For starters, you'll have a great time being present in an English-speaking environment. It might encourage her to become a language student as well, and she'll need that if your relationship is to continue. Should things not work out between you, you'll still have an opportunity to meet a crowd of new ladies, most of whom will have a fair command of English - and who are typically starved to hear real American English anyway. When you go solo in meeting new women, you've got to get out and make yourself visible. Plodding the muddy sidewalks in springtime is OK, but placing yourself in crowds will have its advantages.

[Infoman]

Again, points well taken, Vaughn.  Thanks for the advice.  I will certainly keep all of this in mind, and I will definitely read the trip report on Y-O.

DAMN, I've learned a lot in the last two days here!

Thanks!

Infoman

[CaptB]

Infoman,

Your list of women you correspond with......and the many places they reside.....is staggering!!! You really need to focus. It is exciting writing to so many beautiful women....in so many far-ranging places..........................just not practical. I think many guys regret attempting to meet women in two or three cities on one trip.......in the same country. They come to realize that traveling to several cities.....on one trip......eats up too much valuable time.

Yes.....you should write "goodbye" letters to "every" woman you correspond with......when you decide she is "not".....the one. Don't burn those bridges now. Both my wife and I were corresponding with others.....when we met. "After" we decided to become an exclussive couple......we sent goodbye letters.....to the others. My letters were much like the "form letter" example you presented......but each was personal. Each woman responded to my letters with a possitive "thank you".......and wished me well. I had no problem that (now my wife) "V" was corresponding to others. The one you visit first......may not be the "one".

Maksim is a nice guy. I talked to him several times on the phone......talked to several guys who used his services.....and know two men who found their wifes using his services. I am surprised more guys here don't try Yoskar-Ola............and MAKSIM's.......in particular. A nice sized city.......and pretty surrounding area. Max has a ton of very attractive women on his site........and many attractive women over 35. Actually......if things had not worked-out for my wife and I after meeting.......Yoskar-Ola was my next choice. Actually some women who were of interest to me......are still on the site. No surprise.......the majority of guys in this process are still looking for women much younger than 35. Of course you can only tell so much from a photo. After "attractive" (to you personally)......I look for "kindness" in the face.........and the appearence of well-being. You are looking in the age-group I was also
looking in. Here are a few profile numbers. Take a look.....tell me what you think:

Ludmila  #4439  40 y.o.
Natalya  #2618  39 y.o.
Irina       #5785  35 y.o.
Larisa     #6261  34 y.o.
Irina       #5726  33 y.o.

On a first trip my advice is to write several women........intro letters......and a few follow-up
letters. Say you will be visting Yoskar-Ola at such-and such a time and it would be nice to meet. Make you own arrangements for a flat......don't let any of the women do this. Use an outside contact (i.e. Vaughn).......or an agency. Don't give the immpression you are visiting her........exclussively. Keep your options open. Don't fall for a nice photo.....or even nice letters. You mentioned that it would be difficult to break-off with the woman in Lugansk (?)
because she is one of the nicest, sweetest persons "you have ever known". But......you don't really "know her".......as you have never "met".......face-to-face. Meeting "face-to-face for the first time........may become a big surprise. That "idea" of chemistry you have......may go right down the tubes........upon an "actual" meeting. Why build big expectations......for both parties.......only to have one, the other.......or both........have it go up in smoke.....upon actually meeting. Makes "goodbyes" that much more difficult also. Make think "long" correspondence has its possitive aspects........I also agree......."after" you have met someone. Personally I think there are many negative aspects to "long" letter writing campaigns.

When I went to Tver.......I kept my initial meetings.......to four at most.....per day......preferably three. But I saved most of the sight-seeing for later......when my focus was down to one woman. Your time is limited, valuable.....and not to mention.....expensive.
Stay focused........use most of your time to find someone.

Hopefully you will be making that trip within the next month......if you do.....you will be glad you did. Winter is a great time for a first trip. Its cheaper (airline tickets).......and most of the woman should be at home. In the summer many RW travel......or go to "datcha".

Good Luck........and let us see you make some definite plans soon.


Capt

[Vaughn]

Capt,

 You make some remarkably good points,

AND

 I do like your taste in women! And I wouldn't rule out
#5183 - who most guys may not see as a knockout,
but she's got a face I'd never tire of. That's just me.

 Infoman, if you wind up meeting many in Y-O, I'd
advise avoiding the 8th of March in your window -
unless someone else here can come up with some
beautiful excuses as to why you were scarce that day....

[David1963]

Yes.....you should write "goodbye" letters to "every" woman you correspond with......when you decide she is "not".....the one.

Even if the lady writes first?  How much does it cost to write a goodbye letter through RLM?

If you're 40+ and the 20 somethings write to you, I would just ignore the letters, their doing that just to make money for the agency.

I would recommend that nobody get involved with RLM or HRB.  There could be some honest and decent women there but you have to sort through all the pros first.  Find a better agency, even Aweb would be better.

As for advice, If you are not in direct communication with any of the ladies you met through RLM then drop them without spending another penny.  Keep in contact with the ones you don't have to communicate through RLM.

Look for other agencies that are honest, focus on one city and look for ladies there.

[Infoman]

David...

Thanks for the very sound advice.   Yes, I think you are right on the money - no pun intended.  Problem with RLM - need to fork over an additional 50 or so to their related agencies in FSU so that THEY can take care of you, including giving the personal info.  Personally, I feel that this is total, total BS.  Yes, I DO want to leave there - and I will - but I still want to be able to contact a couple of women that I really like.  Fork over the 50 per (in lieu of the additional ton of money it would cost to stay there)....or.....?  It's only one or two women that I really do not want to miss out on, and if I had to, the $100 or so would be worth it.  But what do you think?  If going "cold-turkey" on this place is the way out - and only way - we will eventually forget about each other, and I am already talking to 3 ladies I like VERY much outside of RLM....so I wouldn't be crushed.  Again, there are two - maybe 3 - that I really want to keep in contact with.

What would you suggest RE: RLM?

Thanks...

Infoman

[IAmZon]

Find the cities that the girls are located in, and give the photo of the girl you are looking for to a couple of agencies in that town.

And get a thinker skin!  You know, the girl that got under my skin still email me to CHAT ALL the time.  I never respond.  My last response simply said:  Don't get married or freeze in Winter.  When the Spring comes so will I.  I will walk to the center of your city and shout your name until I find you.  CIAO"

[David1963]

David...

Thanks for the very sound advice.   Yes, I think you are right on the money - no pun intended.  Problem with RLM - need to fork over an additional 50 or so to their related agencies in FSU so that THEY can take care of you, including giving the personal info.  Personally, I feel that this is total, total BS.  Yes, I DO want to leave there - and I will - but I still want to be able to contact a couple of women that I really like.  Fork over the 50 per (in lieu of the additional ton of money it would cost to stay there)....or.....?  It's only one or two women that I really do not want to miss out on, and if I had to, the $100 or so would be worth it.  But what do you think?  If going "cold-turkey" on this place is the way out - and only way - we will eventually forget about each other, and I am already talking to 3 ladies I like VERY much outside of RLM....so I wouldn't be crushed.  Again, there are two - maybe 3 - that I really want to keep in contact with.

What would you suggest RE: RLM?

Thanks...

Infoman

I would look at this in the realities of taking a trip.  You have 3 ladies outside RLM, very good, are they in the same city?  The other ladies that are in RLM and you like, are they in the same city as any of the other 3?

In reality you can only visit one city per trip unless you are making a long vist of more than a week.  

When you visit more than one lady you should not get attached emotionally to them and not lead them on so they get emotionally attached to you.  How can you realistically visit more than one lady if there is some emotional attachment?  Thisis one reason we always mention, visit soon.

If you are not emotionally attached then it should not be a problem to drop the ones in RLM.  See, that is one of their hooks, get the poor American shlubb emotionally attached so that he keeps spending money on the letters and video chats.  Have him keep comming back spending more and more money for additional services and info, like contact info.  You can see yourself doing this, can't you.

If you feel the need to spend the money and write a final letter to these ladies then explain why you are dropping them, because of RLM, this will probably be edited out by RLM though.  

[Infoman]

I understand, Rivardco.  Thicker skin being applied, as I write this.  Seriously.

David...

I completely agree with you.

The three women outside of RLM - two live in Odessa, one in Y-O.

There is an emotional attachment to one lady in RLM - Moscow, another in RLM in Lima, Peru.

That's it.  I hate the multiple cities thing, and of course I would never be able to do this all in one or two trips, but somehow, some way, I would like to meet all of them, because you just don't know who is the right one - if any of them - until meeting and spending time together.  I can't help that my situation led me to women that live in different places.  Life isn't easy sometimes.

I WILL say that the newest lady I am talking to - in Y-O - REALLY has my interest, and it would be her that I would want to see first.  If things worked out, wonderful....if not, I have the 4 other ladies.  I need to arrange something fairly soon.  As far as RLM, I still have credits for about 19 letters that I can use to explain why I am leaving.  I'm SURE that RLM will edit out my contact info (email address - I won't even bother to put my phone # or address because for sure they will edit that out) - and unfortunately, if they are truly interested, the onus will have to be on them to have their agency contact RLM for my contact info.  I just sent a long email to Patrick and company explaining my situation and why I am leaving and that it's high-time for me to get personal contact info so I can move on with more personal contact.  I told him that the website's purpose is really to facilitate introductions, and I am long past that point and do not need to keep paying to have them be the "go-between".  We'll see how the reply is...but I can no longer stay there and continue to dump money into an endless sea of letters and photos that I have no time for.  I am finally streamlining my plans, and it's way overdue.

Thanks...

Infoman

[IAmZon]

Please advise the group on Patrick's response