Increasing the chances of Chemistry

[Shostakovich]

Now the Chemistry for her.

1.
Looks are no where near as important here as your personality traits. 

2.
Dont shower her with compliments.
Dont agree with everything she says and does.
Dont become submissive
Dont try buy her affection let her earn it by her actions towards you
lead her dont let her lead you

Ahh - alchemy of m/f relations: very deep, very profound. 

First big and shocking principal:  Most of what goes on between men and women has reference to the child that would be produced between them.  Yes, this is why girls, old women, unhealthy women are not "sexy".  And what about that "sexy" - what is a person that is "sexy": a person with whom one wants to perform the sexual, i.e. reproductive act.  Yes?  Now, let us unfold the mystery yet further.  The perception of sexiness is advanced when the lady puts her reproductive potential on display by wearing tight fitting clothing that shows the shape of her body.  If the ladies' physique begins to droop, the department store cosmetics counter and department that specializes in ladies foundations, has help to offer.  Why is this important?  Because men instinctively know what features a woman has when in the reproductive phase of her life:  she has thick rich hair, an hour glass figure, perky breasts and a bum that is rather filled out.  Why is it that a woman puts the shape of her bum on display through tight jeans or, even better, those black/athletic leotard thingys?  Because women store a bit of extra energy (fat) there, which may be drawn upon  to enable them to sustain a pregnancy in the event of interrupted nutrition, etc.  So, for the woman, the body is extremely important and men are always sizing them up to determine if she is a potential candidate for reproduction.  This review generally takes all of 10 secods, the lower brain stem has done its job, and if there is not much more going on upstairs, that's about as far as it goes.

The second shocking principal is, in fact, two principals rolled into one(!) :
Once the reproductive potential has been positively assessed, one then moves on to considerations which
a. have reference to the ability of the lady to be a good mother once the child is born.
b. have reference to the qualities that foster psychological/spiritual development in the mate (man).

Is the woman intelligent, free from bad habits, can concentrate, does she think the music of Franz Schubert is great, etc., etc.

There you have it, I highly suggest reading Arthur Schopenhauer's "Metaphysics of Love between the Sexes" for the full scoop.

"Wherefore the straining and storming, the anxiety and want? It is merely a question of every Hans finding his Grethe.  Why  should such a trifle play so important a part, and constantly introduce disturbance and confusion into the well-regulated life of man?  But to the earnest investigator the spirit of truth gradually reveals the answer.  It is no trifle that is in question here; on the contrary, the importance of the matter is quite proportionate to the seriousness and ardor of the effort.  ... That which is decided by it is nothing less than the composition of the next generation"

I'll defer to the ladies regarding how they size up men but some of the basics are obvious:
1. Man must be healthy since his genes form half the pair, this is why women size up a man through scent and why they want a man who smells good.  I've heard women have a more highly evolved sense of smell than men.  If a man has b.o. it means either they have habits that are not consistent with a sound and desirable family life or have some health issues or bad dietary habits, etc.  Woman also respond to good skin, and those features that demonstrate an abundance of 'juice' in the constitution - square jaw, substantial bones, good posture, etc.
2. Display tokens of power, Beemer key ring, Tag Hauer watch, etc., as these show resources to protect & raise children.

Same old blah-blah.

I included the above in this post as I consider the advice to be especially poor:

For sure, I get noticed more by women when dressed well and notice them checking me in this condition all the time.  Women are not sizing you up in the way men size up women, true, but they do not want a slob to look after and they want someone who fits within the aesthetic parameters they have set for themselves in their personal life and many other things.  "Every depth requires a surface", and, as already mentioned, the woman looks to the exterior as an indication of inner qualities.   

The advice about doing this and not doing that because of downstream effects is unprofitable.  It is a bit of a chess game but playing that element up will not work to your advantage - you are looking for a partner not a marionette with strings to pull.  First off, women hate cheapskates and often size up your intentions by the coins you put on the table - the reasonable woman will of course normalize according to your resources.  They want to see an emotional response which is expressed in at least some measure by your extravagance.  If you do not have this emotion to give, don't do it, but holding back and playing power games will not advance your cause.

[Lily]

Shosty,

Excellent points!

In a man, woman wants to see good male genes first. Grooming, manners, habits, it is all great if they are set up naturally in the man. We woman are very much able to spot a dissonance between what is learned by man through some efforts on his part, and what is natural to him, with what he probably was born. 

The man should find in himself something that is uniquely good on him, and inherent to him, and develop this the way that it should be seen as demonstration of good genes. Hope I said it understandable  

This is in fact rather hard work. Many professionals work in the field of image making, so this is a big industry.

Some additions om my part:

quote

"1. Man must be healthy since his genes form half the pair, this is why women size up a man through scent and why they want a man who smells good.  I've heard women have a more highly evolved sense of smell than men.  If a man has b.o. it means either they have habits that are not consistent with a sound and desirable family life or have some health issues or bad dietary habits, etc.'

As woman, I wouldn't say that scent demonstrates quality of genes in some way. As you correctly said, women have a fine sense of smell. Therefore, bad smell can just irritate my senses, that's it, but I hardly think that it tells me about his genetics. Unless, of course, smells come from specific dietary habits in generations of his family that may be unacceptable for me. I never met such kind of men in my life, though.

Look, there are things that indicate human nature, and there are things that indicate some circumstances occuring to the person at the given time. Smell belong to the latter, as it comes mainly through physical work, exercising or being too long without bath. Smell must have an immediate reason, and it is relatively easy to remove.

[Shostakovich]

Shosty,


Some additions om my part:

quote

"1. Man must be healthy since his genes form half the pair, this is why women size up a man through scent and why they want a man who smells good.  I've heard women have a more highly evolved sense of smell than men.  If a man has b.o. it means either they have habits that are not consistent with a sound and desirable family life or have some health issues or bad dietary habits, etc.'

As woman, I wouldn't say that scent demonstrates quality of genes in some way. As you correctly said, women have a fine sense of smell. Therefore, bad smell can just irritate my senses, that's it, but I hardly think that it tells me about his genetics. Unless, of course, smells come from specific dietary habits in generations of his family that may be unacceptable for me. I never met such kind of men in my life, though.

Look, there are things that indicate human nature, and there are things that indicate some circumstances occuring to the person at the given time. Smell belong to the latter, as it comes mainly through physical work, exercising or being too long without bath. Smell must have an immediate reason, and it is relatively easy to remove.

Yes-yes and I do confess, a bit of word-smithing might have helped to make more clear my point.  Bad smell - could be bad diet, could be bad genes causing mal-absorption of food, leading to the same things.

[munna]

Good post Munna. I agree, and I see nothing wrong with a man improving himself to improve his chances with women. It doesn’t mean to not ‘be yourself’. Often it means to be your real self rather than go out of your way to try to please.

About looks, I think there is a distinction between looks and appearances. Men are more attracted to pure physical looks, women are more attracted to appearances which takes into account grooming, style, poise and attitude.

A smoking hot woman in sweats is still smoking hot. When women dress up to attract men it’s usually things that enhance or reveal their physical features (high heels to accentuate the legs, a push up bra, showing some cleavage) that draw attention. The details don’t matter. How many men pay attention to what brand shoes a woman wears, or care if she’s wearing a bracelet, or care about the color of her finger nails?

Women tend to notice the details.  They’re not attracted to pure physical looks, but more what  a man’s appearance tells about himself. Is he confident, is he powerful, is he rich, is he adventurous, does he take pride in his appearance? The way a man grooms, stands, moves and dresses can reflect the qualities a woman seeks.

I agree, appearances are especially important in Russia.

I’m sure other can give examples to the contrary. Everyone is different, but those are my general observations.

Great post and agree completely with what you are saying here your wording is better than mine. When I get the chance I will edit my first post to include some of the new information. 

[Lily]

A smoking hot woman in sweats is still smoking hot. When women dress up to attract men it’s usually things that enhance or reveal their physical features (high heels to accentuate the legs, a push up bra, showing some cleavage) that draw attention. The details don’t matter. How many men pay attention to what brand shoes a woman wears, or care if she’s wearing a bracelet, or care about the color of her finger nails?
 

Jooky and other guys, would you please comment it a little bit? Is a smoking hot woman in unflattering clothers still smoking hot, or do the low profile clother take points off the woman?

My understanding is that men perceive a woman as a whole picture, as you correctly noted, they don't look into details as women do. But skirts instead pants, loose hair, dangling earrings, certain dress colors, do matter in this whole picture. Many times I have heard opinions like 'she is beautiful but too modest with her dressing', or 'if she would wear more bright clothes, she would look a lot better'. How true is that?

[Seeker]

Jooky and other guys, would you please comment it a little bit? Is a smoking hot woman in unflattering clothers still smoking hot, or do the low profile clother take points off the woman?

My understanding is that men perceive a woman as a whole picture, as you correctly noted, they don't look into details as women do. But skirts instead pants, loose hair, dangling earrings, certain dress colors, do matter in this whole picture. Many times I have heard opinions like 'she is beautiful but too modest with her dressing', or 'if she would wear more bright clothes, she would look a lot better'. How true is that?

I prefer loose hair, a pleasant smile, and laughing eyes.  Skirts are always nice, but not always practical.  I prefer a woman (and person) that is just true to themselves.  How else could I (or anyone) be able to know how we really feel about a person unless we see how they truly are?

[Gylden]

Interesting you mention smell, although you refer to BO my wife says all the time how she likes my "smell" and I am not so often wearing cologne. She is referring to my natural smell and she is of the opinion that it is common for women to notice this. In all of my life I never had this comment from a woman.

Do you think this is something about FSU women?

[ECOCKS]

IMO....

A truly attractive woman is attractive when planting potatoes in a cloth coat, baggy jeans and with a kerchief around her hair.

For me exposing cleavage and these fake "Oooops, my dress slid up pics" are a turn-off. So it's almost always points off in the profile pictures and outfits for an evening out. It's advertising as far as I am concerned and definitely not what I'm interested in.

[BC]

Interesting you mention smell, although you refer to BO my wife says all the time how she likes my "smell" and I am not so often wearing cologne. She is referring to my natural smell and she is of the opinion that it is common for women to notice this. In all of my life I never had this comment from a woman.

Do you think this is something about FSU women?

No, it all about pheromones and has nothing to do with BO.  I agree that women may have a better nose for it, but men react as well.

Example for the married men with babies..  next time you have company with a baby the same age, pick up your own and smell, then the other baby.  You will note a stark difference and will likely feel a bit repulsed with the 'foreign' baby.  (not talking pampers full)

[Gylden]

LOL, I better be carefull about trying what you say, as my youngest baby is 26 yo and it might be missinterpreted.   

I am aware of the pheromones phenomenon, just never had a WW mention it.

What does it mean if you like the way other peoples babies smell??

[BC]

What does it mean if you like the way other peoples babies smell??

Marry them in 20 or so years.

[DaveY]

Jooky and other guys, would you please comment it a little bit? Is a smoking hot woman in unflattering clothers still smoking hot, or do the low profile clother take points off the woman?

My understanding is that men perceive a woman as a whole picture, as you correctly noted, they don't look into details as women do. But skirts instead pants, loose hair, dangling earrings, certain dress colors, do matter in this whole picture. Many times I have heard opinions like 'she is beautiful but too modest with her dressing', or 'if she would wear more bright clothes, she would look a lot better'. How true is that?

A smoking hot woman is going to look good no matter what she is wearing. It's not about the clothes, it's all about the sex appeal. Some people just have it, the "IT" factor.

Here in California there are a lot of attractive women, but they all look the same. They all look the same because they have been told, by the media "this is how a sexy women is suppose to look like." There is simply nothing unique about the way they look.

I can think of nothing sexier than a woman in a black evening dress. It's a classy, timeless look.

[Gylden]

Lilly,

From my perspective, I think that a good looking woman can be attractive no matter what she is dressed for. She will be attractive if she is dressed for a hike in the mountains, or if she is dressed to go dancing, or to the theater or working in the garden. Of course they are all different ways to dress, but you can't hide (easily that is) when a woman is good looking. Of course hygiene and some sort of fashion sense is allways in order, but I haven't met too many women which come up short in these categories.
Does this help?

[munna]

Yes, when a women is truely hot she is hot no matter what she wears. Some less attractive women look great dressed up but just average when they are not. When I see a very plainly dressed hot women for me its like wow imagine how hot she would look dressed up.

The really hot ones dressed up are imtimidating to a lot of men. They asume she must get a lot of male attention and would not even bother to make a move as they feel they wouldnt have a chance with her.

God bless push up bras and short skirts;)

I like a women who dresses up but I also like a women who is happy wearing plain cloths and doesnt mind getting her hands dirty. Example likes to go camping or fishing me and doesnt want to spend 2 hours infront of a mirror before doing these things.

[myrddin]

I've noticed that a few of the smoking hot women at my gym wear unflattering clothes, presumably in an attempt to get stared at less.  Perhaps they think that interferes with their workout or something.  The tactic doesn't work, though

[Lily]

myrdin, they were the clothes that are comfortable for exercising, and are not meant to impress. I mean the women who go to gym in order to work out, and not in order to get attention  

[myrddin]

myrdin, they were the clothes that are comfortable for exercising, and are not meant to impress. I mean the women who go to gym in order to work out, and not in order to get attention  

I know what you mean, Lily, and some others do go to show off.  But a few of those "unflattering" ones go beyond what is merely comfortable for exercise.