Kindness in scamming...

[BillyB]

Truth be told, I'm a little licked as it is. 

I just don't see myself being successful at it using the conventional method. 

Remember when you first came here and wrote the thread in the below link?

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=11677.0

You were excited and happy about some of the RW you met online. I was your biggest critic saying you aren't ready and the girls you're talking to aren't marriage material and even scammers but some people thought you found some winners and one RW even accused me of being jealous.

Your current attitude is of your own making. Using the wrong agency and communicating with the wrong kind of women will do that to any man and they will have doubts if they can handle all the drama and risks. IMO you communicated with the kind of girls that are vulgar, using/scamming men, and rotate boyfriends every few weeks or months.

If you use a decent site and find the right kind of women, you will not have drama and there will be little risk. There will be no cultural or language barriers because each time there is a misunderstanding, the sincere woman will work with you to understand and it will be fun to go through life learning together unlike being with other women who will always start a fight at each misunderstanding.

I'm having a blast doing this and you and everyone else can too. Although I've been your biggest critic, if true that you're decent looking, young, and a good guy, you could be very successful dating and having a whole bunch of great ladies to choose from anywhere in the World. First you have to learn where to find them, then learn how to attract them and maintain their interest.

[ECOCKS]

Actually, you will have drama, it will just be more enjoyable.

[kievstar]

This woman found someone else and is letting you down easy.  Next time travel faster.  Face to face is the goal.

Anyone who would pay money to an agency to video chat with a woman has to realize that women that are good looking do not video chat for free.

Every piece of contact with an agency girl requires money.  To motivate women to come across town to get on video chat you have to pay them for there time.   Where is the scam here?  Your paying to video chat which happens.  Scam gets thrown around to loosely here. 

[SFandEE]

Travel if it makes financial sense since you will face many emotional and financial challenges maintaining a tenuous or developing relationship from afar.  Especially with someone who is just dipping her toe into the international dating pool and likes to keep her options open.

[seraphimangel]

ROFL! Actually here's something funny.  She texts me to ask how I am and asks if we are still friends.  I say yes, ... she finds me on facebook and adds me as a friend.

She is pissed that 70% of my friends are girls and most pretty.  She said "what the fuck do I want to meet girls in Ukraine"... accuses me of being an American whore ... two of my friends had a silly chat on my facebook page about who gets me at their bachelorette party... stupid joke.. but not important to me.

She then apparently looked through my 300 friends and realized one of my friends is a DJ in Nikolaev... she gets pissed and says "I hate you, that man's best friend leads organization against agency girls in Niko and calls us prostitutes! If he is your friends, I don't want to be your friend anymore... I hate you and all you american whores!"

... so... young one came back for a few minutes... got angry at me having female friends... got angry that I had a male friend in her city who was against agencies (I had no idea, I just thought it'd be a good idea to have a male friend who was local).... and went away calling me and americans all sorts of names... lol

Now, I'm really glad I'm not in that mess... but what I'm wrestling with is sending a complaint to AWEB.  I have a full Skype conversation with her, printed and filed (I'm cautious) that has her stating... "I talk to over 50 men, I have no intention on dating anyone on there, they are all pigs, I tell them what they want to hear so they stay and I keep getting paid by agency"..... now, there's nothing wrong with her doing that... if it was a fantasy website, but it's supposed to be a dating website, not a 900-sex-w-rusky website. 

So, I have copies of conversations, receipts, all kinds of proofs to everything, even video screen shots... I'm conflicted thinking... what would be the likely outcome if I did put this in their hands.  And does she deserve it?

[ECOCKS]

What, exactly, would be your goal in making a complaint to AWEB?

[BillyB]

 

So, I have copies of conversations, receipts, all kinds of proofs to everything, even video screen shots... I'm conflicted thinking... what would be the likely outcome if I did put this in their hands.  And does she deserve it?

Aweb may give her a promotion for defending the integrity of the company and keeping 50 guys on the hook although she has no intention of dating any of them. She may get in trouble for pissing off a customer(you) though.

I don't think she deserves it because she's acting immature and it's not illegal.Most likely if you complain and send them info, it'll end up in the garbage.

What has happened to you happened to many guys who use agencies like Aweb. You have fun, spend thousands of dollars until you're not having fun anymore leaving angry and disappointed.

Stay focused on finding a good girl and ignore the ladies that give you drama.

[SFandEE]

Sounds like she may have really been falling for you.   Shadows from high school!

I can see why you would want to complain to AWeb and maybe what would be even better is BBB in Maine--is that where they are based in USA?  If you want to impact her directly the conversation might go that way.

She just sounds like a kid who is hurt and probably has no self-awareness to know she is hurting others.  That would be interesting about a culture difference discussion.  I expect most socially normal men have a nice mix of male and female friends.  How is it in Ukraine and Russia?  Do men and women in a serious relationship have multiple friends of the opposite sex?

Glad you dodged that bullet--probably will help you miss a few others if you persist.

[seraphimangel]

So American AWEB would do nothing and not care about someone admitting that they are paid to lie to clients (and not suitors) .... this negates the idea of it being a dating site... it is a soft porn site.  Very soft..

She finally came around and asked me for money at some point.. which is close to when things went sour cause I just wouldn't.   I  have her on phone texts, emails and ICQ asking me for it.

[SFandEE]

I have never done a chat--but I imagine very soft if it all.  You can't even fantasize--what are you wearing?  "Look at the screen.  My work clothes!  Now tell me more about your dreams for a family with a loving wife.  Yes this is what I want with you too!"

[BillyB]

She finally came around and asked me for money at some point.. when things went sour causewhich is close to  I just wouldn't.   I  have her on phone texts, emails and ICQ asking me for it.

If she asks you for money, then report her. Aweb will take her down after that. Don't do it because you want revenge, do it to save some other poor bastard using Aweb from getting robbed because this girl has no intentions of a relationship with guys she asks money from.

[SFandEE]

She then apparently looked through my 300 friends and realized one of my friends is a DJ in Nikolaev... she gets pissed and says "I hate you, that man's best friend leads organization against agency girls in Niko and calls us prostitutes! If he is your friends, I don't want to be your friend anymore... I hate you and all you american whores!"

What's the back story to the organization.  Sounds like you aren't aware of this, but I find this most interesting.  Glad to hear such a group exists--the industry has its' shameful elements.  Maybe you can post a link or news bulletin on this group for us.

Nikolaev the City of Brides.

[seraphimangel]

No Idea! I'll ask Tim about the organization.  He's actually told me to be careful and that they call Niko the city of brides.. and that 50% of the girls in town are agency scammers (he's a local) ... and he said that he's lived everywhere in the Ukraine and Niko by far has the prettiest girls ...

He said that the honest and good girls don't use the agencies and rarely meet foreigners through those marriage agencies.

That's all he ever mentioned to me.. he never told me about any organization... I'll ask him about it ... but my assumption from her reference is that they are all students in college and that Tim's friend leads or participates in this organization to shut down marriage agencies in Niko.

[seraphimangel]

I asked Tim about the Organization and he said she's full of it.  He doesn't know what she's talking about and moreover, he just doesn't like the agency girls traveling about Niko cause he speaks English well and always sees stupid foreigners there losing money, pissed or sad and all because these girls are using them like fools.

He said he just stays away from them. 

But a stranger update, I decided not to turn in what I had since she seemed very cool to me and I gained happiness from her friendship (whether it was only me in the friendship or not)... and so I figured, I gained happiness anyhow.

So, after our argument I sent her a letter telling her off and she sends me a response saying "HOW DARE YOU!!" and says things about me.. and says "we are finished"...

Then... today.. I get a letter with a very simple note..."I will be in the USA next summer, You must know this".... I'm like... why is she telling me this if she's not my friend?... I respond honestly and say... I enjoyed her friendship, and I don't know if she's my friend or not, or if cynicism is contributing to our fights.. BUT... i find our fights stupid and petty and you ignoring me is unacceptable.  BUT, I was sincere about our friendship.. if you want to visit, my house is yours during your vacation if you need it... because I have always appreciated our friendship...

she responds "I didn't expect that, I'm crying, You are wonderful... " and that's it...

so strange.

[Gator]

Then... today.. I get a letter with a very simple note..."I will be in the USA next summer"...... if you want to visit, my house is yours during your vacation if you need it... because I have always appreciated our friendship...

she responds "I didn't expect that, I'm crying, You are wonderful... " and that's it...

She is probably only dreaming...silly girl.... because it is difficult for young UW to enter the US other than as a student or tennis star.  Nevertheless, she is a prospect for the 2011 Draft.  Meanwhile, the 2010 Draft is underway.

[seraphimangel]

ROFL! Actually she was always talking about coming on a student visa.

[SFandEE]

No advice or wisdom and I certainly have no attachment, but based on what I have seen there would be no reason for me to want to continue with this person.  Seems out of sorts.  I do have problems with how she makes her money though.

[seraphimangel]

This kid's a piece of work.  She goes ahead and friends me on facebook.  Posts something nice on my facebook THEN puts me on ignore list and removes herself.

I respond to her in email and ask why she did that and what the point was to appear.. and disappear?

She doesn't respond and I send something saying, will you be taking me off ignore list anytime soon?  She says "No I can't.  I hope you enjoyed my post "

I mean, besides the obvious which is .. that this girl is someone I should entirely write off.  I think she may in fact be marginally insane! Either that or by far the most immature human being I have ever met. 

The thing is, if I stop writing, she still writes to me!!! I know I can simply choose not to respond, which is what I guess I should be doing... but it's funny that I think she's trying to get me to use AWEB to communicate with her.  ... this is dumb.

[ECOCKS]

You are spending a good deal of time in your grieving and analysis of all this with little or no positive results. The one who looks to be really wasting their time and being crazy looks more like you than her.

[seraphimangel]

I was just sharing man.  I think it's crazy.

[Sculpto]

I have seen this behavior before.. if you don't fight and argue it means you don't care.  Best to simply walk away... nothing good can come of it.

[ECOCKS]

I was just sharing man.  I think it's crazy.

Then please take my comment only as one of concern that you might be obsessed with this one incident to the point where you aren't getting yourself "reset" for continuing onward. It's just an observation and I think several of us feel you might be dwelling on it a bit too long.

Great if you're moving on after thinking what you learned so far.

As they say, "Nothing gets you over the last one like the next one."

That's not to make light of a relationship that just doesn't work but.....

[tim 360]

Just walk away unless you like OCD chicks.

[Faux Pas]

Ah she's a sweetheart!  If you think she's bad bi-polar now, just wait until you meet her