How and where to find the AM who would like to live in Russia (or Europe)

[Vasilisa]

May I ask your age Vasilia? And how long you have been in the US?

Early 30-ies, several years in the US, 10years' green card holder.

[Gator]

I have no idea what you are talking about. This thread is not about the Russians but about me and my preferences, there are a lot of Russians who feel fine living in the US.

 
Moon Goddess was replying humorously to an opinion expressed by Belvis about Russians being less willing to leave Russia, and by inference not so prone to acclimate to America.    This seems to be your case with your baseball comment (as in "baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet").  No criticism intended, but just an observation.  Moon Goddess is from Ukraine but maybe she picked up Russian soul when living in Russia, or was imprinted in childhood with the Ukrainian version.

[Manny]

It is understandable that you don't find the US to your taste, having read your thoughts on the topic up to now.

Finding an American willing to relocate to Russia wont be very easy. Most Americans tend to think very highly of their country. They believe it to be the greatest place on earth. The reason most of them don't even have a passport.

Finding one who is willing to relocate may be a red flag in itself. It might tell you that this guy has no family ties, no great network of friends in the US and little opportunity there. His opportunity will be greatly diminished in Russia as he has no cultural knowledge and no language.

Yes finding a man with a portable trade or occupation who desires to live in the second world would be a great move; but those usually successful enough to do so will choose somewhere hot and cheap like Thailand.

I understand that you do not feel the need to lower your standards or settle, so two options are open to you from what I see:

The first is try harder to find a thinking man in the US with the kind of morals and type of character you seek. That will make the US seem much more palatable I suspect. There will be some out there, but you must use your grey matter to find him.

The second is to open your mind to a long distance relationship and consider a man from mainland Europe; somewhere that is culturally closer to Russia than the US is. That might be Scandinavia, Holland, Germany, Switzerland, Austria or the UK. As you seem to be proficient in English, the UK would make sense. Men here don't want you to pay their loans or credit check you before a date or any of that crazy stuff we read about and which you mentioned. I am sure there would be a queue of men in the UK willing to meet an early 30's lady with a good mental disposition.

Wanting to be in a place that is culturally closer to your ideal than the US is, is understandable. But seeking an American to relocate to Russia wont work. And if American men are OK for you, why isn't their country? The latter breeds the former.

If you *really* want to be back in Russia, a Russian guy would be the logical choice. At your age, you aren't quite on the shelf yet unless you have 3 kids and two heads. To eschew your native men without even trying is comparable to the many Americans we see who eschew all American women - usually indicative of another issue.

If you really want to be in Russia, a Russian guy is the way to go. If you want to be out of the US and within a more compatible European mindset, Europe might be the answer. After all, London is called Londongrad by many for a reason. 

And to do that, you must either go there or open your thoughts to the possibility of a long distance relationship - initially - with someone from there. 

[Misha]

The middle eastern guy would start whining that he wouldn't be able to come for lunch but he could come in the evening but he will drive for 30 minutes' time so 1 hour is not enough, then he would ask to take 4 days off work as he wants to invite me to somewhere and when you say "no", he will whine and whine and whine and complain untill you change the phone number

If they whine don't date them.

[GQBlues]

Long thread. Simple answer.

Chances are 2: Slim (very) and None.

A man of notoriety that marks the spot (hers) would not even dream of moving elsewhere much less a country whose language is other than his own. There'll be thousands of Vasilias surrounding him ~ here at home....

No offense Vasilia, but you're seeking an *idea*, not a person. Methinks this could be the reason why what is otherwise (or should be) a fun-filled, self-fulfilling, life-satisfying experience such as *dating* *meeting people* *social immersion* - had seem to become more than a chore for you. The void you're trying to fill is just getting bigger and bigger. Try another approach, or better yet, another perspective.

If Russia is where your heart belongs...maybe start there and move - then let the *right man* presents himself to you. You would at least *enjoy* a 50% chance of obtaining your *happiness* for the time being. Doing it the way you aspire at this time almost guarantee you 100% misery. Who'd want a life like that? From their POV (men), who'd want to be around someone like that for more time than what's *necessary*?

[newjason]

Errr, no! Been there, done that, perephrasing the Russian saying:"You can take the guy out of the UAE, but you can't take the UAE out of the guy), so no Arabs and Indians, maybe Chinese...I haven't tried them yet.

They are not too bad chilled, with a little hot mustard and sesame seeds.   

[steste1122]

I'm a little late to the topic, but here is my few cents worth.  I would not mind moving to Russia.  Although I only spent 2 weeks in Moscow back in March, during the time I was there it felt more like home than home does to me.  True, my trip was not during the coldest part of the winter, but it was still much colder than anything we get in Arkansas and I was actually enjoying it.  Not speaking the language would be my only problem with moving, and before making the move I would have to learn at least some basic Russian.  I am only 31 so I don't have much holding me back.

[Eduard]

I would not mind moving to Russia.  Although I only spent 2 weeks in Moscow back in March, during the time I was there it felt more like home than home does to me. 

This is a very interesting statement. What makes home feel like home? IMO it is family and friends (support system), culture (which includes sports, TV programs, children's programs and personalities that we grow up with, movies, music, literature, pop culture, etc.) and the  language of course. If a person can spend 2 weeks in Russia without even speaking Russian language and feel "more at home" there, he must be completely disconnected from all of the above. Does this make sense?
I'm not criticising you, you feel what you feel and have the right and freedom to do so, I'm just trying to understand the psychology behind this.

[Muzh]

I'm a little late to the topic, but here is my few cents worth.  I would not mind moving to Russia.  Although I only spent 2 weeks in Moscow back in March, during the time I was there it felt more like home than home does to me.  True, my trip was not during the coldest part of the winter, but it was still much colder than anything we get in Arkansas and I was actually enjoying it.  Not speaking the language would be my only problem with moving, and before making the move I would have to learn at least some basic Russian.  I am only 31 so I don't have much holding me back.

With all due respect, you were there as a tourist.

[Faux Pas]

With all due respect, you were there as a tourist.

This is the crux of the matter. Most of the responses Vasilisa will get here will only be from a tourist POV sans Mendy or chivo.

I have been to Russia many times. I absolutely love the place. It is a wonderful place to visit but for me, it ends right there. I'm a tourist/visitor with my eyes wide open and I can see that life there is not so comfortable, mighty risky and complicated for a foreigner. It's not designed that way, it's just the way it is.

If/when I ever have the means to live anywhere I choose, I wouldn't choose Russia. In fact it would be at the bottom of the list even though I would continue to visit often

[Eduard]

This is the crux of the matter. Most of the responses Vasilisa will get here will only be from a tourist POV sans Mendy or chivo.

I have been to Russia many times. I absolutely love the place. It is a wonderful place to visit but for me, it ends right there. I'm a tourist/visitor with my eyes wide open and I can see that life there is not so comfortable, mighty risky and complicated for a foreigner. It's not designed that way, it's just the way it is.

If/when I ever have the means to live anywhere I choose, I wouldn't choose Russia. In fact it would be at the bottom of the list even though I would continue to visit often

Just curious, where would you lke to live if you had the means?

[Muzh]

You didn't asked me, but I'd say the Mediterranean coast.

[Belvis]

  I would not mind moving to Russia.  Although I only spent 2 weeks in Moscow back in March, during the time I was there it felt more like home than home does to me.

I could not resist to post the joke:
A man died and ended up in paradise. With time the paradise seemed to him increasingly boring, so he asked Saint Peter to let him go to the Hell for a weekend. St. Peter agreed and apparently hell was a great place with hot girls, nice music, free booze and parties. The man asked St. Peter for a permit to move to the hell permanently, so much he liked it there. St. Peter agreed.  When the man enters the gates of hell - there was nothing he saw before but eternal flames, frying pans, screaming sinners and devils with pitchforks. "Where are all the girls? Where is the booze? Where are the parties?" - screamed he desperately . Satan responded: "My friend, before you were a tourist and now you are a resident."

[Muzh]

You shortened my joke. And I was going to post it. I guess you did the list a favor. 

I always get a kick of that one.

[Vasilisa]

I could not resist to post the joke:
A man died and ended up in paradise. With time the paradise seemed to him increasingly boring, so he asked Saint Peter to let him go to the Hell for a weekend. St. Peter agreed and apparently hell was a great place with hot girls, nice music, free booze and parties. The man asked St. Peter for a permit to move to the hell permanently, so much he liked it there. St. Peter agreed.  When the man enters the gates of hell - there was nothing he saw before but eternal flames, frying pans, screaming sinners and devils with pitchforks. "Where are all the girls? Where is the booze? Where are the parties?" - screamed he desperately . Satan responded: "My friend, before you were a tourist and now you are a resident."

The point is that it works about the US also.

[Anotherkiwi]

This is the crux of the matter. Most of the responses Vasilisa will get here will only be from a tourist POV sans Mendy or chivo.

I have been to Russia many times. I absolutely love the place. It is a wonderful place to visit but for me, it ends right there. I'm a tourist/visitor with my eyes wide open and I can see that life there is not so comfortable, mighty risky and complicated for a foreigner. It's not designed that way, it's just the way it is.

If/when I ever have the means to live anywhere I choose, I wouldn't choose Russia. In fact it would be at the bottom of the list even though I would continue to visit often.

I totally agree with the second paragraph (although I've only been twice).  For me to even consider living in Russia...well, she would have to be the most amazing creature that ever walked this earth!  I would still be very wary, even with that incentive.  I'm pretty happy here, and I hope that my future lady (whoever she may be) will be too!

[Misha]

The point is that it works about the US also.

Which is why, based on what you have written, the only real option is to return home and look for a man there. Yes, it won't be easy, and yes you may not find anybody, but if you are happy there, does it really matter?

[Vasilisa]

Which is why, based on what you have written, the only real option is to return home and look for a man there. Yes, it won't be easy, and yes you may not find anybody, but if you are happy there, does it really matter?

I will if I don't find him here till my trip to Russia.

[Faux Pas]

Just curious, where would you lke to live if you had the means?

It would largely depend on the means Eduard. That's not a deflection. If the means were capable but modest, in Central America. If the means were much more ample, Europe or Hong Kong