FSU women lateness to appointments?

[Misha]

Not to mention staying up with a baby who refuses to sleep when she is supposed to.  Two women now? Misha, you have a long life in front of you.   (And a happy one.)

LOL! I hear you and I have a dream that one day mom and daughter will go shopping together and leave dad at the cafe 

[Aloe]

Glad I found this thread. I recently went out with a Russian woman here in America. She was a fellow student at my university. Whenever I invited her out, she would always be 5-10 minutes late. When I confronted her about her tardiness, her response was: "you need to learn Russian culture. it's good manner for women to be a little late in Russia" )) I'm like, seriously? I tell her, "this is America, honey, not Russia." she says, "don't care. i'm Russian." I knew right then and there to dump her. I have no desire to spend my valuable time on an abusive woman, regardless of her nationality. For the record, she has been in America for two years, which is enough time for her to learn how Americans view time. besides, she had a lot of other problems related to her arrogance too, so I didn't dump her just because she was a few minutes late. as you can see, compromise was not her forte.

That does sound quite patronizing and rude. No wonder she answered back with attitude. You give attitude, you get attitude.

[Boethius]

If someone I was interested in found my continual tardiness an issue, I would at least try to change out of respect for that person.  To not do so is a sign of disrespect, and indicates you do not value this person's opinion or perspective.

[Faux Pas]

If someone I was interested in found my continual tardiness an issue, I would at least try to change out of respect for that person.  To not do so is a sign of disrespect, and indicates you do not value this person's opinion or perspective.

Suppose you tried to change and couldn't? It is a sign of disrespect but only up to a point. Some people are just not good at meeting appointments with punctuality. It is in my view a bad character trait but some people can't help it despite themselves. It doesn't make them a bad or disrespectful person but it does leave one with questions of whether they can have a relationship of any sort with that person.

[Boethius]

Tardiness is often a sign of disorganization, rather than character and I agree, some people can't change but I think it is because on some level, they don't want to.
I did have to change in this regard, as I generally do run late, and my better half is never late for anything, and I mean, never.  This was something that bothered him, so, I changed.

[Faux Pas]

Tardiness is often a sign of disorganization, rather than character and I agree, some people can't change but I think it is because on some level, they don't want to.
I did have to change in this regard, as I generally do run late, and my better half is never late for anything, and I mean, never.  This was something that bothered him, so, I changed.

I am like your hubby in that regard. It use to bother me to no end that others didn't. I guess I am getting mellow in my twilight years 

Nowadays, I am not bothered if I "know" someone will be late. I'll adjust by telling them the time and arrive when I think they'll make it. In any event, 5-10 minutes never killed anyone. Waiting or being late. 30 minutes or more without contact or excuse is quite disrespectful and rude

[Vasilisa]

Tardiness is often a sign of disorganization, rather than character and I agree, some people can't change but I think it is because on some level, they don't want to.
I did have to change in this regard, as I generally do run late, and my better half is never late for anything, and I mean, never.  This was something that bothered him, so, I changed.

Boethius, it depends on how your other half expresses his concerns, for example you can notice he likes women with long hair and you start growing your hair long to please him, but at the same time if he expresses his opinion in the form of a threat: "If you cut your hair short I will grow a beard that you hate" it's a different thing. I've been in a relationship like that, and every time we watched a movie where women had a short hair cut he expressed his point of view that it looks ugly etc... which eventually made me think what his attitude was going to be if I had cancer one day and lost my hair due to chemotherapy for example... eventually I realized that I  could never relax in his presence which was important to me, there were some other reasons, too, so we had to break up.

[Boethius]

My husband is all about "free will", and never imposing his views on others in any way.  He just told me he doesn't like being late, and so I changed.  No demand, it is not his way.

[Belvis]

He just told me he doesn't like being late, and so I changed. 

What a woman! I always dream about such a wife   

Varilisia, at this point it sounds like you're trying to make it personal.

One more cultural clash? Vlad5, seems you'll have troubles with FSUW so may be better to stick with punctual "Africans, Asians, and other Europeans" to save valuable time? 

[Ooooops]

Very poor analogy. if she was the right woman I wouldn't be the least bothered by those things.

So it just boils down to "she was wrong for me" and in this case even 5 sec lateness would bother you.   

[newjason]

I don't let 5 or 10 minutes late get under my skin.

I just start scheduling the meeting time for 5 or 10 minutes past the hour.

[JayH]

If someone I was interested in found my continual tardiness an issue, I would at least try to change out of respect for that person.  To not do so is a sign of disrespect, and indicates you do not value this person's opinion or perspective.

[Daveman]

If one is only five minutes late, and is late perhaps three times a week.  That person has wasted other people's time to the tune of thirteen hours per year.  That's thirteen hours of other people's lives. That's time these people will never get back - just waiting around.


Now, the FSUW described as being always at least a half hour+ late all the time.  This person wastes literally days of other people's lives per year. 

[Chicagoguy]

My wife of 35 years was often late while we were dating. She thought nothing of it even though I complained. I am usually early. Then one night we had tickets for the Chicago Symphony and the doors were locked when we arrived. This is their policy. You must then wait until first piece is played and then they open. She was never late again in 35 years.
My current wife from Russia is always punctual. Just. I never had any problems with anyone I dated but I suppose we were all on our best behavior.

[JayH]

It was recent Odessa thread where the "late " issue cam up again--thought it was worth a bump !!

[XMan]

I could not give an exact number, but I would say probably half the women I met in Russia and in Ukraine were late, and it was anywhere from a few minutes to half an hour.  I actually had two different women who were quite perturbed that I didn't wait past my general cutoff point of 30 minutes.  Never met either, because that clearly displayed personality traits I had no interest in dealing with.  The surprising thing was that each was astonished that I didn't want to meet her at another date / time.  Zero effort to notify me, no apology.  "Next." 

But I must say, it is not just women.  Male friends and acquaintances were sometimes late as well.  Given some transportation difficulties I had of my own, and unexpected delays for seemingly simple tasks, I can understand being late in some circumstances.  Lack of notification, however, I do not understand and have pretty much zero tolerance for.

Given my fiance's lateness on more than one occasion, I decided to purposely be 20 minutes late because she had been late twice in the past two days.  I didn't do it as punishment, but rather because I hate waiting and didn't want to wait as long on that particular day.  To my astonishment, she was on time.  To my equal astonishment, she was not upset.  So I asked her about why women are so frequently late in Ukraine, and she said, "it is Ukraine."  That was supposed to explain it all. 

I don't know.  A 5 minute trip to a bank for a relatively simple transaction took me an hour once.  Sometimes there are legitimate reasons.  But a lack of notification, there really isn't an excuse, unless the phone is toast. 

[JayH]

 

  So I asked her about why women are so frequently late in Ukraine, and she said, "it is Ukraine."  That was supposed to explain it all. 

That is a universal answer to many questions!!

[vlad5]

hey, even the Russian President is chronically late to important political meetings.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-25136476