Greetings, new guy here...

[Chasaboo]

Stumbled on to your forums and looking forward to reading a lot of the old posts.

I'm in my mid 40s, never been married and the idea of finding someone on the other side of the planet to spend the rest of my life with is intriguing, to say the least.

I'll be reading for the most part but when I have some questions, and I'm sure that I'll eventually have more than a few, I'll be posting them here.

Thanks for having me and look forward to learning as much as I can from you.

Be safe.

[Jet]

Welcome to the board! Don't be shy about asking questions if you have taken some time to read and didn't see recent discussion on a given topic. You seem to be approaching this sensibly by your initial post.

Good luck 

[Kuna]

Welcome to RWD...

I'd encourage you to read and ask questions because there will be things you want confirmed.  I did the same thing when I joined (seems like an eternity ago - but in reality it's only a little under 2 years) and thanks to the great advice I got here (and lots of hard work) I'm now happy married.

Depending on what you're looking for, and why, I can assure you this journey is one that is exciting AND most importantly, very rewarding.

Kuna

[Gator]

Welcome Chasaboo!

You will find romancing RW an interesting journey.

You will hear this eventually from others, so I will tell you now.  In Russian culture, many RW consider there is "something wrong" with a man who is over 40 and never been married.

Actually it should be a plus because you do not have children to take care of.  However, some RW may assume that you are a "player", afraid of commitment, not interested in children and family, have low self-esteem, don't know how to take care of a woman, etc.

The fact is not a deal killer, yet something you will need to be mindful of.  If you plan to correspond with RW, I suggest that you not voluntarily disclose your "never married" badge.  Let them ask the question and then be truthful.

[Chasaboo]

Thanks for the kind words lads. It's nice joining a forum with civil, intelligent, and well spoken people!  Looking forward to learning from you. I'm sure I'll step on some toes along the way, but that's typical for a newbie in any forum I'm sure.

Also, thanks for the advice as well. Didn't think I'd be getting it in response to my first post. You guys are always thinking. I've learned that after reading so many previous posts. It sounds as if you have heightened senses of perception. Almost detective like in your approach to things. Very, very cool!   

[GreginGa]

I know you'll find most of the answers you're looking for here somewhere. There are some here that will probably beat around the bush with their opinions and it can be confusing. I personally like to be brutally honest with new folks who are thinking of engaging in this process. To do it right and not half ass, it can get rather expensive and time consuming. It is much more expensive now than it was back in the day when some of us were just getting started. A couple of questions I always like to ask is.

1. How much time does you job allow you off so you can travel?

2. Are you financially secure enough to make a 110% commitment? While you dont have to be rich and there are ways to cut some corners and save so money. It's still rather expensive.

3. Do you already know all the answers to all the questions? LOL

[groovlstk]

Nice thread dude. I'm exactly your age so I'm really enjoying and closely paying attention to what your experience was like.

I'd posted in the new guy forum and was told that women wouldn't be interested in me as I've never been married before. Have you been married before? Was this something women were asking you about?

Seeing as you are my age I'll probably be asking more questions about your experience in the future. Hope that's okay.

Keep up the great writing.

Chasaboo, I'm responding to your post in Swisskid's TR here, so as not to clutter up his thread with tangential posts.

I think you may have interpreted Gator's earlier post a little too literally. It's simply untrue that most women will reject you because you've never been married.

However, some women will ask you pointed questions about it. I had never been married before I met my wife a few years ago and she and her family & friends wondered at first if there was something wrong with me (outside of the obvious, that is.)

Bottom line is that any woman who rejects you outright has such rigid search criteria that woe unto he who makes it past her filter and then finds her similarly inflexible on other matters. Given all the obstacles of language and culture, it takes a huge amount of flexibility, understanding, and compromise on both sides to make this work.


 

[GreginGa]

I thought I had 2 fair questions. Am I too hard on those new to this endeavor?

[steviej]

You will hear this eventually from others, so I will tell you now.  In Russian culture, many RW consider there is "something wrong" with a man who is over 40 and never been married.

Welcome Chasaboo! Gator makes a great point. I've heard my mother inlaw make comments about if a man is 40 or more, why has he never been married? And I think some very promising RWs will ask you point blank. This is not to deter you AT ALL. An honest and insiteful answer is all that's required. So, for example, you may want to do a little soul searchcing, and ask yourself the same question. A woman will be very responsive to an honest and sincere answer. It will give her confidence in you. Remeber, these wonderful ladies have gone to the marriage agency for the same reason you have

[Gator]

Chasapoo,

Are you still here?  Have you started your search and written some women?

I hope you now realize from posts here and in Swisskid's T/R that many RW are indeed suspicious of men over 40 and never having been married.  Again, it is not a deal killer and simply reflects their culture.  RW will still be interested in you - just be ready for the question because it will come.  Allay their concerns and stress the positives. 

[SANDRO43]

Chasapoo...

Phil, that sounds smells wrong offensive .

[Gator]

Phil, that sounds smells wrong offensive .

Sandro, thanks.  That was unintentional on my part.  You do have a good eye for detail.

[SANDRO43]

Sandro, thanks.  That was unintentional on my part. You do have a good eye for detail.

As they say, "Once an editor, always an editor" .