Why are you looking for RW\UW?

[DKMM]

No Lily that wasn't what he was saying.  You got caught up in the words not meaning it the way he meant them.  This is something I experience with my lady as well (fortunately she's learned to give me the benefit of the doubt).

He was saying he wished you lied about your age and if you said you were 45 he would be actively trying to date you now.

Although if he were smart about it, he'd listen to Gator and at least ask you to dinner.

[Lily]

DKMM, I realized it only afterwards..Sorry I did not notice the grammar, it should have probably been conditional tense. Too little formal study of English 

My apologies for having unwillingly caused an off-topic.... have a great weekend everyone! 

[Simoni]

Globetrotter, I'll have to agree with Gator.  Five less years is not a big issue.  I think we all have the age ranges we want in a girl, but the important thing is the girl, and not her age.  Something to think about, anyway.

[Gator]

Globetrotter,

Small world.  I worked in Iran for two years as a consultant to the UN, and departed in June 1978 prior to the street fighting.  The change from 1976 to 1978 was indeed a revolution. 

Iran:  many picturesque locations, ancient and interesting history, some good people, many beautiful women, but a horrible culture.  The fact that Iranians admire the best liars says it all. 

[Jazzyclassy]

Lily is a nice woman  , In her case Age is not important   she is lovely ! I enjoy her posts very much as any other memeber here

[Mishenka]

Just a note to let people know, I am once again a single man.

Poka,
Mishenka
 

[Mishenka]

Marusya,

My thoughts on this:
No where else in the world can a man find a woman with so much passion.  So much mystery. Russian women are like a fine tuned sports car with the best engineering.  They handle like a Porsche on a high speed road at 200 MPH. They hug the road closely and take each corner with ease.  The have purpose and personal drive to succeed at everything they do,  They feed on competion and run the race to win.  There is true joy coming in first place. They strive to reach their goals and attain them!  They have great self control. They also have the capacity to love deeply!

I really don't like to compare a woman with a sports car, this will earn me no points at all.  You know, men think so differently than women.
 
I could say she is like a rose in bloom, beautiful, colorful,  soft petals and fragrant,  but if you make her angry, you better watch out for those thorns!! Maybe you can relate to that more than a fine tuned sports car.

Russian women posses a charm that exists no where else in the world.  Real men are drawn to this charm.
Real men are drawn to the family values of Russian women, which there are many.  Real men are drawn to their inner beauty and of course their outer beauty, because it is not only skin deep. Look into the eyes of a Russian woman and your eyes will never be able to look away.

Mishenka

[Misha]

Marusya,

My thoughts on this:
No where else in the world can a man find a woman with so much passion.  So much mystery. Russian women are like a fine tuned sports car with the best engineering.  They handle like a Porsche on a high speed road at 200 MPH. They hug the road closely and take each corner with ease.  The have purpose and personal drive to succeed at everything they do,  They feed on competion and run the race to win.  There is true joy coming in first place. They strive to reach their goals and attain them!  They have great self control. They also have the capacity to love deeply!

I would like to know what the mystery is all about? I just don't see it. Maybe it is because I have too many Russian friends, or have spent too much time in Russia, or speak the language, but I don't see the mystery in Russian women.

[Gator]

Gabaub,

Did you feel that way the first year?

Now I no longer consider RW any more of a mystery than other women.  However, at first I had my questions, periods of confusion, and awe struck moments.  5 1/2 years later, innumerable dates, and two long relationships I consider RW differnet from other women but I know the differences and I feel that I understand why they are that way.

Nevertheless, RW are still women, and women are complicated.  And just when I think I know their thoughts, they change, they evolve, they grow.

[KenC]

gabaub,
You have mentioned your thoughts that RW are no different from any other women before.  I think most of us guys think differently.  I too think they are special.  Maybe it is because I am with Lena.  Or maybe you needed to spend more time with Canadian women?
Ken

[Misha]

gabaub,
You have mentioned your thoughts that RW are no different from any other women before.  I think most of us guys think differently.  I too think they are special.  Maybe it is because I am with Lena.  Or maybe you needed to spend more time with Canadian women?
Ken

Maybe. Most of my closest friends are Russian and most of my socializing is done in Russian. Perhaps you are right, Canadian women have become more of a mystery to me LOL.

[Mishenka]

I'm thinking many of us want someone special to us that no one else has.  We have a taste for exotic or one of a kind.   I for one choose to be different that the status quo.  While my friends were dating younger women I was dating older ones. While my friends were driving trucks I was driving a Porsche 911.  While most my younger friends were working in Gas stations out of high school I was working for IBM in the CE Dept shipping out parts to computers all over the country. While my friends laid on the beach in the Summer I was traveling all over Europe on $3 a day.  Some of us are leaders in that we choose a different road. Men love a challenge, and Russian women fit the bill.

I can think of no woman I've dated who compares with the charm of a FSU woman.  It is not that fact that they care,  it is how they show they care. How they speak, how they walk, how they carry themselves.  They hold my interest when American women bore me to tears.  FSU women and even girls seem to be more mature at 15 than most American women are at any age.  I know this only because of the many Russian/Ukrainian exchange students Ive had living in my homes over the years.  yes true, they are the cream of the crop and studied hard to get here, but that is more the norm in Russia,, they got lucky, passed TOEFL etc, and had the highest marks in school.  I still have copies of their records and all of them scored 5's in most every subject across the board.

This tells me so much about how some of these women and young men are raised in Russia.  Not only are they book smart, but they are street wise.  They may not all be worldly wise yet, but it does seem over the last 10 years that they are quickly becoming just that. 

[BillyB]

Misha, for someone who hasn't used an agency , you seem to say similiar things as they do. We call it agency hype that increases their business. Many agencies say RW are more mature and family oriented than American women. Here's something to chew on, corruption, abortion, and divorce is higher in the FSU compared to most parts of the world and it isn't all the RM's fault. Judge each woman individually.

[Marusya]

First of all thank u for ur answers!
It's very interesting to know ur opinion
But u know I was reading another forum  last week. I think all of u know it- it's Antidate.
And I've read there the opposite information about international opinion of RW.
For example some of foreign men are ashamed of say that their woman are from Russia\Ukraine...
What do u know and think about it??

[USCFAN]

For example some of foreign men are ashamed of say that their woman are from Russia\Ukraine... What do u know and think about it??

I can't speak for them ... but if I had a beautiful, intelligent and loving RW on my arm ... I would let everyone know where she is from    ... and let those that are ignorant or jealous make their remarks ... because I know I'll be happy

Maybe those 'other' men think that people will view going to FSU countries as some kind of 'losers' way out.

[Shadow]

Marusya, when you have read Antidate you have read the opposite of the East-West views.
If you read here you will find mostly men who are appreciative of RW and are trying, sometimes desperately, to find one that will like them back for who they are. There are the horror stories of women that take money, are after a green card.
On Antidate you will see the other side. Good women who can not find a decent man, men who send nude pictures and are interested in sex only.
If you look only at the horror stories it will make you paranoid and afraid to try.
When you read the success stories, you find that they have one thing in common. They took the step to meet.

When two people want to spend their life together, there comes the environment.
I was for a long time not interested in RW, as the stories about the downside had reached me. When I decided to look past it, I found my wife. I am not ashamed to tell where she is from, and I hope to be a showcase for good experience. But I can understand that some men would be hesitating, as they might immediately have to start defending their choice to people who know only stories.

[Marusya]

If you read here you will find mostly men who are appreciative of RW and are trying, sometimes desperately, to find one that will like them back for who they are.
 

Reading here is a lot nicer)))

On Antidate you will see the other side
 

But reading there is helpful to be ready for different scenario.
Both for men and women.

[Mishenka]

BillyB  thanks for your comment,

I've never spent time at any agency's to learn about their hype. I refuse to spend my hard earned money to find a Russian woman when I don't have to.  There is no service they offer that I can't do myself better.  When I need a visa or other services I have a private individual I can go to and get it within 30 days time provided I already have airline tickets and notarized invitation. I have contacts that work in certain cities I visit who are officials, to get these invitations for me personally. If I want to send flowers I just make a phone call to Moscow or Kiev direct. It costs near nothing flowers are dirt cheap in Russia when you know where to get them.  It pays to have friends who owe you favors :-) 

I have spent the last 12 years of my life with Russian women as friends and lovers. Living with and observing them in the USA and in Moscow. I have already mentioned a few names here, I don't need to go into details.  I will say that Nadya taught me the most of all of them because we spent countless hours together on a daily basis.  I post much of what I learned from our relationship here. I  learned a lot from Natasha, who I still consider a friend. I learned a lot from being in Moscow and observing daily life with my interpreter, Sveta, her friends Asya, Oxana, Dasha, Yulia, and Anya plus I had many exchange students from all over Russia living here in San Diego while I was married and after wards, visiting their home towns and parents in their homes.  My experience will not be the same as anyone else. This is why I dislike generalizing but try to speak from my life experience with these women.  I stayed in their flats mostly not in hotels very often. 

I'm sure men can say the same things about women from other countries.  My ex wife was from Sweden with long blond hair to her knees, very difficult person.  My daughter made the comment that Nadya is a Russian version of her mother and asked how can you date her. When I realized this, that relationship soon ended.   they just did not get along!  Nadya's ex husband had 2 older daughters like I do, and they never go along. so she vowed never to re marry a guy with 2 older daughters and make the same mistake.

Hope this gives you a more accurate explanation of my posts.

Misha

[chade1968]

I became interested in meeting a Russian woman shortly after my divorce. In my city there are very few available women my age. The available women are pursued by many men and when I did date women here they me me feel as they where doing me a favor by dating me no matter how much I tried. After my first trip to Ukraine I knew without a doubt I wanted to find my bride in this country or FSU. The women are so eager to make friends, I was amazed at how classy the women are, actually it is just unbelievable how different they are. I never get bored talking to my my girlfriend. I never hear her complain or talk about her hardships. I think my favorite statement she made was when I told her it would be difficult for them at times if they come to the USA, she replied, "My daughter and I are afraid of no hardships". This is the kind of woman I want... my currently my financial situation is very good, I have a very stable engineering job, my home is almost paid for but you never know what the future holds. I want someone who will stand by my side for the rest of my life and not just run away if hard times come our way. It is very interesting to meet someone from such a different background. I do not even speak to women in my county now... honestly they just seem boring in comparison to a RW. I think a better question to ask is why would you want to marry an American woman? There are some good AW but I am 39 yo and the selection is... well I will be nice.. poor. 20 more days until my trip!!!! Good luck to all!

[I/O]

Three interesting questions which may be long debated without definitive answers. Why a Russian woman? Language? Some people being ashamed to admit she is from Russia or the FSU.

The last first as for me it is the easiest: There remains a lingering stigma in some areas regarding men marrying women from less economically developed countries which is a precipitant of the "Mail order Bride" thinking. There can, at times be a perception that these men have been unable to find a suitable partner (Due perhaps to their own social disfunctional attributes) and have taken the easy road and picked a "Desperate" from the poor end of the globe so to say. There also remains the ignorant thinking that all women from Russia are desperate to "Get out" and will marry the first passport that comes along. I suspect it is these things and a few other matters which may lead to men feeling reluctant to speak openly regarding their Russian partner.

I have come up against this already a few times and I have adopted the "Silent and show" approach.  The moment they meet her, they realise she is far better educated and in most cases far more stylish than many women they know and are therefore quite taken aback. A picture tells a thousand words.  There is the other minor factor of some people disapproving of international marriages period regardless of economics. Such is life. Personally, I am very proud of my wife in so many ways and I pitty the people who ignorantly oppose the fact she is Russian.

Language: Frankly, I don't care much what anyone says on this subject, the issues are HUGE..!!! A marriage is first and foremost about companionship and to have a true companion requires a depth of communication. Without language two people can NOT communicate to any great extent. My now wife had little English when we first started to communicate and it took in excess of two years to reach the stage of marriage.  Yes we had enough communication to understand there was something special in each other, but it took a very long time to be able to communicate to the extent of removing some of the risks of the unknowns. 

IMO far too many jump into bed and if that works OK, they consider they can communicate. There is a very big difference between grunting each other stupid and making love with a person you really care about. Making love as it were, as one example does require far more than physical communication. The other fact is that in spite of modern medicine, two people can not spend their life in bed humping each other stupid. There is, for the most part, the companionship and sharing of life ideals and goals together with the practicalities of everyday life. Language is HUGE and it is a real issue where two people come from different linguistic backgrounds. I strongly advise against doing what my wife and I did. I advise people to look for a partner who they share language with from the start. Sure we have gotten this far but the workload had been massive for both of us and I would consider us an exception rather than a model to follow.

Russian woman: I went to Russia on a tourism basis in the first instance.  I was registered on a American dating site at the time and had arranged to meet someone from the USA later that year (On a friendship only basis) and had pretty much left it at that. Just prior to my departure, I received a letter from an FSU lady and basically I thought, "What the hell I will meet this lady". There was no sparks as such between us, but it did spark my interest as I saw some things in her that were different. As I travelled through Russia and observed people (As is something of a hobby of mine) I came to understand that some of these women had something very special about them. The light gradually switched on and my slow brain started to turn over. As time passed and I had time to consider some of the implications, the ridiculous gradually became possible in my thinking.

Now that I am married to a Russian woman, the possible seems all the more ridiculous.   I don't imagine that will change anytime soon.

Jazzy touched on a point when she said about the sense of the exotic.  There may be a touch of that in all of this too. As a teenager, I had a lot of contact with people from other countries and I often thought it would be nice to meet someone special from afar. Funny how life takes it's sweet time to take it's twists and turns. I have to say the last turn it has taken for me is a very pleasant one indeed.

I guess to summarise my reasons, it was without intent as such and I came in via the back door so to say, but in reality many Russian women have something very special that others simply don't have.

FWIW

I/O

[Mishenka]

My fascination with Russian women began when I became a host family for exchange students. 1995 I never thought I would go to Russia let alone Date these women. On my second trip I met the parents of one of the exchange students I hosted 3 years prior. This family was so interested in meeting me they traveled by train for two days from the north, Severodvinsk,( a closed city)  where her father worked on nuclear Subs and a teacher, Her mother was the city controller. Her close friend was also a city controller for Moscow, thus where I get my Visa and invitation more easily to Moscow.  for them to take a week out of their lives to travel so far to see me was a huge thing for all of us.  We sat around the table,  me with my guitar, singing and drinking a bit of wine, vodka, and Heep's of food, asked a lot of questions and answers,  it was great family time.  They made me feel included.  Lots of smiles, hugs and kisses going around during that week.  It was winter and freezing, but they made that trip knowing I traveled 10,000 miles to see them.  What a testimony of love.  It was these family values that made me want to marry a Russian woman someday.  Someday,, at the rate I'm going it may never happen but, I consider all my experiences good ones.   Even with all the break ups with girlfriends, each one is special to me.

[Globetrotter]

Marusya,

I think there is some special charm that FSU girls have, and it's that charm that is the initial attraction which we hope stays with them always.  But, women are still women.

To succeed one must be aware of what they bring to the party, strengths as well as weaknesses.  What are your/her expectations?  Is either too high?  Is she a flirt...will she love advances she gets from others?  Will she try to blend into her new culture and country?  We hope so.

As time goes on, people change, situations change, feelings change, finances change.  I ask myself how lucky I may be when these changes occur, hoping that the changes will be good changes, or at least can be understood and accepted, as my life would change from "me to we". 

With the above said, I ask myself, what are the chances of staying together always, with divorce rates here at 50% and 60% there, given the "differentness" of country, culture, language.  I takes great dedication from both parties to make it work. 

As far as acceptance of a FSU wife from family and friends, I think I would have no problem.  My friend who was here for a month was accepted and respected by everybody and they enjoyed her company, humor, stories, etc.  If anyone didn't do this, we would not see them and they would be out of my social circle.

Too bad for the deception on her part, so the search continues. 

[thedub]

Marusya,

I've never dated a Russian/Ukrainian woman before, and I haven't been to any FSU contries (yet). But I can certainly tell you why I am starting my search:

There was a Ukrainian girl I met, here, in America. She was living in the same apartment complex as me and she did/does seem to have the "mystery" and "passion" that people talk about.

I'd never considered international dating before I met her. She was studying for a Master's in Business at a university here. Anyway, she'd come over to my apt and chat and she was SO vivacious: drinking, smiling, chain-smoking cigarettes. In general, she was just so much more outgoing, sexy, and exciting than any American woman I've ever met. Her personality seemed like what I'd love for a wife. She was just so direct, straightforward and cut through the bulls**t of conversation. Plus, she knew what she wanted out of life and was very goal-oriented... but WITHOUT losing her feminine sex-appeal. That's something I seem to never find in an American woman.

I met her only a month before she moved to the other side of America and she had a long-distance boyfriend... so we never dated. But after meeting her, I literally walked around wondering what the hell was wrong with American women. And that's why I am starting my search.

Oh... and on a different question you asked: There are SO MANY people here in America that think if you are looking for a Russian wife, there must be a huge problem with you. They think you're a pervert, or that it's a mail-order-bride business. Really, so many people in America look down on the whole concept that it's pretty disheartening.

[streklor]

why?

1. i am an 8 but like to date 10's

2. russians are pretty interesting people, not public spirited protestants, but interesting in their own way

3. i go to russia for other reasons as well,

4. i want to have a multi-lingual marriage (and women never seem to understand that one....)

5. why not? when i work over the internet and plane fair is $700 if you shop right and plan, it is not such a big
deal