The Hot Husband pictures.

[mspanky]

So then the solution is to not move her?  I don't quite understand.  It seems like the best relatinship the older guy can have is where her options are limited in your analysis.  So, in order to maintain a relatinship, he should keep her in the FSU? 

  The solution is top be realistic!!! If you are not attracting "average" women in your own country 10 years younger when you have common culture and goals, why do you think a Rw 20+ years younger who is very attractive and does not have common language and goals will not change once she gets here.

 As I stated unless you are a very special older man, intellectual,famous, top in his field, or extra handsome and fit. What will stand out about you once she gets here. Young people are much more prone to change and fickleness than older ones.

[Misha]

No, just a response to Misha saying it's not easy for women to marry high quality men. As you can see I have noted she marries for shallow reasons and this is why the high divorce rate for her. But there is never a shortage of decent men for women who are attractive.

Well, it should be noted that I was not alone in thinking this. To quote May First:

Tell THAT to my single Russian friends with American passports.

Where exactly does she go to get this hut, rich, successful   single 30- 40-year-old executive? Clue Bat Clue Bat Clue Bat
You need to sell this info, if it is true, you will become a millionaire!

 Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy

Oh well, I will have to politely ask that we agree to disagree. If you want to believe that there is a large eligible pool of single, hot and rich 30-year-old men out there who are looking to get married, I respect your opinion. It is just not what I see around me. Sorry.

[turniptruck]

  The solution is top be realistic!!! If you are not attracting "average" women in your own country 10 years younger when you have common culture and goals, why do you think a Rw 20+ years younger who is very attractive and does not have common language and goals will not change once she gets here.

 As I stated unless you are a very special older man, intellectual,famous, top in his field, or extra handsome and fit. What will stand out about you once she gets here. Young people are much more prone to change and fickleness than older ones.

Well I don't understand.  You say it's ok for the woman to jump ship when she sees someone better here in US but you don't think it's ok for him to simply not bring her over here to solve the 'too many options' problem you specify.  Sounds a little inconsistent don't you think?

[turniptruck]

  No, just a response to Misha saying it's not easy for women to marry high quality men. As you can see I have noted she marries for shallow reasons and this is why the high divorce rate for her. But there is never a shortage of decent men for women who are attractive. She need not even be sincere. But many men will turn a blind eye to beauty and a good body.

  We see this all the time with men traveling to foreign countries for a wife. many benchmark for success seems to be to date and marry women they would never be able to date back home. No different then shallow AM who think marrying a man with money and success is what it's all about. Both a recipe for failure.

Would you consider her way of thinking typical of FSUW?

[mspanky]

Well, it should be noted that I was not alone in thinking this. To quote May First:

Oh well, I will have to politely ask that we agree to disagree. If you want to believe that there is a large eligible pool of single, hot and rich 30-year-old men out there who are looking to get married, I respect your opinion. It is just not what I see around me. Sorry.

 Misha, who'se talking about 30 year olds? there are man late 3's and 40's attractive men who are ready to settle down. Most 30 year olds still want to play.

[mspanky]

Would you consider her way of thinking typical of FSUW?

 The younger and more beautiful she is. The more you have to bring to the table. remember women are admired for beauty while men are measured by success.  We can argue about that all day long, but that's reality!

[Misha]

Misha, who'se talking about 30 year olds? there are man late 3's and 40's attractive men who are ready to settle down. Most 30 year olds still want to play.

Well, then we would have to ask the women where the "old fart" territory begins. I would classify 30s as young, while you are entering into middle-aged territory when you are in your forties. Once you are in your late forties, I would never classify that as "young."

[marusya272]

Im just curious why all the "good values" people with catholic background  do not judge a 50 yo guy who goes to FSU and brings 25 yo woman and thinks its OK, even though his kids from his 1st marriage are same age as her? Is this an example of "values"? Or is he getting himself "a piece of ass"  Why is it unfair that she gives 2-5 years of her life to him and leaves for more satisfying relationship? It does not always mean she wasn't attracted to him, but eventually nature speaks for itself. It is not natural if looking at the family foto you can not tell if this is his wife or daughter and...another daughter 20+ years younger than the first daughter ;-))))
There are exceptions like KEN C where true feelings involved, but that is very RARE and good values should drive men to date and marry women who are THEIR generation. IMHO

[Misha]

Im just curious why all the "good values" people with catholic background  do not judge a 50 yo guy who goes to FSU and brings 25 yo woman and thinks its OK, even though his kids from his 1st marriage are same age as her? Is this an example of "values"? Or is he getting himself "a piece of ass"

Where exactly did I say that I was in favor of relationships with a 25-year age disparity and the fifty year old marrying the 25 year old woman? I, personally, am not in favor of such a large spread. I am ten years older than my wife. For us it works. My wife had decided long before meeting me that she considered a ten year difference acceptable. However, when does one wrong justify another? Also, the women in question were not kidnapped and forced to marry their husbands. They entered into marriage of their own free will. They had the option of saying no.

[Admin]

Im just curious why all the "good values" people with catholic background  do not judge a 50 yo guy who goes to FSU and brings 25 yo woman and thinks its OK, even though his kids from his 1st marriage are same age as her? Is this an example of "values"? Or is he getting himself "a piece of ass"  Why is it unfair that she gives 2-5 years of her life to him and leaves for more satisfying relationship? It does not always mean she wasn't attracted to him, but eventually nature speaks for itself. It is not natural if looking at the family foto you can not tell if this is his wife or daughter and...another daughter 20+ years younger than the first daughter ;-))))
There are exceptions like KEN C where true feelings involved, but that is very RARE and good values should drive men to date and marry women who are THEIR generation. IMHO

marusya,

Please take a moment to read the RWD Vision. Included in it you will find this:

"RWD practices tolerance of diversity in opinions expressed and experiences shared, and promotes the notion of individual choice wherever and whenever possible."

You are not going to find too many people standing in judgment of others - no matter what their choices.

You will also find that our members are NOT proponents of quick marriage, nor of large age group marriage, nor of a host of other issues that might lead to an unsuccessful long-term marriage. If there is a single hallmark that distinguishes RWD from any other site, it is the fact that we are sincerely and genuinely interested in the long-term successful marriages of our members.

- Dan

[marusya272]

Misha, there is no white and black in this life. There are two people who thought it might work for them and it didn't. Seems like in your case your ex wife lacked sexual adventure ;-) and she moved on, long time ago, does now what she is hungry for. Sorry but it is a bad taste to remind us about "4 letter words" when you talk about women, because in adult world it is OK to have sex with different partners unless 2 people agreed to be "the only one" for each other. You seem a lot more informed about how many partners she has than she is interested in you and you seem very bitter. There is no need for all that.
Going back to old men and young women - it should be clear to intelligent men and women that it is not bad to have a marriage like that but it is logical that expectations should be lower and a man should not think of such wife as someone who will always be around "for better and worse"...No need to be bitter when she goes.

[marusya272]

marusya,

Please take a moment to read the RWD Vision. Included in it you will find this:

"RWD practices tolerance of diversity in opinions expressed and experiences shared, and promotes the notion of individual choice wherever and whenever possible."

You are not going to find too many people standing in judgment of others - no matter what their choices.

You will also find that our members are NOT proponents of quick marriage, nor of large age group marriage, nor of a host of other issues that might lead to an unsuccessful long-term marriage. If there is a single hallmark that distinguishes RWD from any other site, it is the fact that we are sincerely and genuinely interested in the long-term successful marriages of our members.

- Dan

Thank you for noticing "IMHO" at the end of my post 

[Jet]

...because in adult world it is OK to have sex with different partners unless 2 people agreed to be "the only one" for each other.

Errrr I was always under the impression that marriage vows were an agreement between two people to be "the only one" for each other.  :selfharm:

[Misha]

You seem a lot more informed about how many partners she has than she is interested in you and you seem very bitter. There is no need for all that.

Divorce is rarely pretty, which is another reason why one should not enter into a marriage with the goal of getting divorced.

Going back to old men and young women - it should be clear to intelligent men and women that it is not bad to have a marriage like that but it is logical that expectations should be lower and a man should not think of such wife as someone who will always be around "for better and worse"...No need to be bitter when she goes.

Well, my first wife and I only had a 3 year difference. Maybe that is a good reason for a larger age gap LOL  I agree that divorce happens, but I cringe at the blasé take you have on marriage. The fact of the matter is that marriage involves strong emotions. One or the other is bound to be in love. Even if they entered into the relationship with low expectations, I doubt that after two years (the time needed to get a GC) that there would not be strong emotions especially if one partner was not told that he (or she) was expendable. How could there not be some feeling of bitterness? I would hate to be put in such a position even if I had naively married a woman a couple or a few decades younger than me. 

[marusya272]

Marriage vows - the offical way. But what if you don't want to pay more taxes?

[Admin]

Marriage vows - the offical way. But what if you don't want to pay more taxes?

Yours seems a coy way to rationalize low character and vacuous integrity. If I am mis-interpreting, feel free to correct.

- Dan

[ScottinCrimea]

I think it odd to put a price on integrity and morality.

[marusya272]

It was a joke. (for those who are in the tank, as they say in russian). I think it is a step in relationship when 2 people decide to date and have sex with just each other. You don't need to marry for that. 

[Doll]

Misha, so what was the reason for your divorce?

[Misha]

Long story, would rather not go into the details here. However, I will say that in looking back I should have listened to that nagging little voice inside me in those first weeks and months of courting. Would have saved me a lot of grief in the long run.

[BabaMasha]

wow!
Finally someone showed the * hot husband*. Utrobina thanks/
Where is that russian girls/wifes forum everybody is talking about ?
Can somebody give me the link ? Thanks! 

[turniptruck]

The younger and more beautiful she is. The more you have to bring to the table. remember women are admired for beauty while men are measured by success.  We can argue about that all day long, but that's reality!

Im just curious why all the "good values" people with catholic background  do not judge a 50 yo guy who goes to FSU and brings 25 yo woman and thinks its OK, even though his kids from his 1st marriage are same age as her? Is this an example of "values"? Or is he getting himself "a piece of ass"  Why is it unfair that she gives 2-5 years of her life to him and leaves for more satisfying relationship? It does not always mean she wasn't attracted to him, but eventually nature speaks for itself. It is not natural if looking at the family foto you can not tell if this is his wife or daughter and...another daughter 20+ years younger than the first daughter ;-))))
There are exceptions like KEN C where true feelings involved, but that is very RARE and good values should drive men to date and marry women who are THEIR generation. IMHO

Mspanky, I think we have much in agreement.  I've pointed out this very point before.  With that being said, I hoped to lead you in my arguments that there is more to relationships than pure biology.  The other side of the coin is values.  Morality is important.  I can not think of many areas where morality doesn't play a more central role than mate selection and family formation.  Relationships are complicated and you are using a one dimensional analysis of them. 

Generally, when people think of family values it includes respect for the institution of  marriage.  This means that the marriage has value in and of itself.  It does not appear to me that you or a couple of the other posters recognize this.  There are few men who would expend 30-60k + any alimony(not to mention the time and effort involved pre and post marriage) for a 2 -3 year marriage regardless of how good the sex is (except perhaps if you are the govenor of NY). 

Those factors that you pointed out are important in creating attraction between mates but can not be the basis for marriage (which I think that you agree with).  Without commitment, you undermine the institution.  You undermine it by making the marriage term expectations lower.  This in turn will mean that people will behave in accordance to diminished expectations.  Why put in as much effort into a relationship that is going to fail in 3 years instead of 30?

"Why is it unfair that she gives 2-5 years of her life to him and leaves for more satisfying relationship? It does not always mean she wasn't attracted to him, but eventually nature speaks for itself."

This speaks to narcissm.  If you don't have 'family values' why create a family?  If it's all about her, then why should she enter into the institution? 

There are two avenues that was put forward:

1.  She was initially attracted to him and fell in love.  It is her choice to get married.

2.  She was not initially attracted to him.  It is her choice to get married.

Option 2, she's a scumbag.

Option 1, if she 'falls out of love' with him in a couple of years because some other guy catches her fancy then it's very doubtful she has 'family values'.  Without values you are left with nihilism.  It does the man very little good, it does her sisters back in the FSU little good because fewer (and particularly fewer of the sincere guys) men will see this adventure as worthwhile on a risk adjusted basis, and it does the diaspora no good as it creates ill will towards them by the native populations.

Actions have consequences.

[UTRO]

wow!
Finally someone showed the * hot husband*. Utrobina thanks/

Ah Baba!! You just made a 45 year old man, this Wednesday, blush!   
Thank-you 

[Jumper]

 

LOL!  this thread went more than a few directions!
from prostitution, strippers, GCG's, questioning general intergrity of cultures,
and the sanctity of marriage ,to the gossip on  other websites, ,etc etc etc

very jerry springer feel to it..???


i doubt any of it was what the original poster was intending ,,it seemed more like a simple lighthearted post ..

i could be wrong though..(hey it happens,,just ask my wife lol)