How do you know if you have chemistry?

[Elen]

Well It seems I'm absolutely non curious person:? 

  How it's possible to meet somebody about "curiosity" of his nationality? And don't you think it's not too fair to do that in order to improve English skills? Or did she tell guys " I meet you for to study English? " ( certainly guy did come for 1000 kms just to teach pretty girls how to speak English:?! )

 

Or may be I'm too preoccupated and I should to participate in some agency as well as my Eglish is too far from exelent?

[KenC]

Elen,

Lena would be up front with all the guys very early on in their communications.  As the guys were coming to Russia to meet other women, they would sometimes meet with her too.  On many occasions, Lena would even assisit guys in their selection process.  Kind of a semi-translator/friend.  Some of the men just had some hope to change her mind too.  There was never any deciet in any way.

KenC

[jb]

Awwww... C'mon, Elen, think about it... Imagine you are young again and a friend says to you... "Hey, Elen, I've got a friend coming to town, would you like to go out with him?"

Wouldn't you be at least a bit curious?  Especially if he were from some exotic far-away place.  I dated a girl from Austrailia once for that exact same reason, I was curious.

It happens.

[Elen]

look no rasist thoughts for God sake but if he would be black I would not try that exotic. As for others I would not do that each time I was offered.

And because of curiosity you can do thing but only one time you know:D If you date uncounted number of males and name that "curiousity" then.... you know yourself HOW it's seen by others:P

[itstime]

I think that the most obvious signs of chemistry from her side are the little things that she CONSTANTLY does. In my case she was always holding my hand and frequently gently stroking my fingers or scratching my palm. She did this for the entire 3 hours of an intercity bus ride.

I agree that having sex does not mean that there is chemistry between you. But when she sits there putting her hair in curlers while you watch, then you know that the relationship is more intimate than just sex. Or after hours of walking and looking at cathedrals, you return to the apartment and she wants to wash you while you sit in the tub. Or when she wants to trim your nails.

By the way, there is a Russian word for soulmate. On the russian women forums, young women talk about looking for their other half. In Russian they use the term polovinka which is a diminutive of the word polovina meaning "half". You might translate that as darling half or some such, if you want a literal translation.

If she isn't frequently providing small shows of affection then she probably does not feel chemistry on her side. If she seems worried or conflicted, then she probably likes you and respects you, but does not feel that you and her are a match.

Chemistry is a complex issue. I fully believe that many American men marry Russian women who don't feel chemistry and who don't really love the woman. In a Russian relationship, the man would drop her so quickly she wouldn't know what happened so she probably has no experience of breaking a relationship at that stage. Such relationships can work, and can grow into a type of love, but it is riskier than when you know that she really and truly has a multi-layered emotional connection with you.

 

[KenC]

 she wants to wash you while you sit in the tub. Or when she wants to trim your nails.

In all the women I have known through out my life, I have never met another that is as nurturing as my Russian wife.  Has anyone else noticed a similar trait in their wife/gf?  Is this mothering instinct something that is common in RW?

KenC

[Voyageur]

KenC,

I am experiencing this nurturing right now, for the first time. It is really incredible, I never have lived through anything like this in my 15 + years of previous marriage to an AW. It is great but it get some getting used to, to stop feeling like you are taking advantage of her. She really likes and enjoys this caregiving.

[Son of Clyde]

Yes, I have experienced her nurturing from day one.

[Elen]

she wants to wash you while you sit in the tub. Or when she wants to trim your nails.

:? Yep

 BTW psychologists say no nurturing  or demonstaration of mothering instinct for you guys  Of course you do like that but sometimes after you start to see only mother in your wife and then you do find somebody  else for wife's  role

[Elen]

By the way, there is a Russian word for soulmate. On the russian women forums, young women talk about looking for their other half. In Russian they use the term polovinka which is a diminutive of the word polovina meaning "half". You might translate that as darling half or some such, if you want a literal translation.

May be but you do use your Soulmate much more often than we speak about our "polovinkah"

[Elen]

the topic is named "How do you know if you have chemistry" But talks are going round only about women's reactions ( which BTW actually could be simulated easely by any female )

 What about you, boys ?? How do YOU understand that you in your turn have that "feeling" and what does make you sure that "feeling" would not disappear in 3 monthes after marriage?


 What your "actions" should girls take like a prove of "chemistry"?

[Shadow]

I take my club, hit her on the head and pull her by her hair to my cave. Ugh

In reality, I try to let her know that I appreciate her. My attention will be focused on her instead of the 20 y.o. in the skimpy outfit (I have broad vision:cool:). I will be less greedy than usual. I try to make her feel safe, handle her fears and emotions and bring a smile on her face. And make her understand that I am proud to have her at my side.

Or I just sit and do nothing.

[KenC]

Elen,

You asked:

 What about you, boys ?? How do YOU understand that you in your turn have that "feeling" and what does make you sure that "feeling" would not disappear in 3 monthes after marriage?


I know I went through a lot of anxiety before I decided to marry my wife.  The big age difference was a major factor, but I also didn't know if I even wanted to marry again.  I went back and forth quite a bit in my own mind.  What was the deciding factor?  I would rather take the chance of being married to her than to face the rest of my life without her in it.

KenC

[Elen]

What "less greedy than usual"  does mean by Europeans standarts  ( two litres of Kefir instead of only one)

As for me it is all simple and plain - I would not go to bed with guy if I'm not sure in my "chemistry"  or howelse that's called.