Need to ask

[phantom]

I need to ask these questions, as I'm preparing for my first trip/meeting.  This lady that I was introduced to, is very nice, and seems not to often show her emotions.  Me, I sometimes do, caring/worry (Not love).  It's different of course, as there is no translator/agency, which is very nice.  We arranged the meeting ourselves, etc.

Now, the other day, she was crying, about being lonely, I got her to laugh a bit, and also telling her, it wouldn't be long, before we would spend time together.  I also had offered to fly her into Moscow, she said not to waste my money on such things, as she would take train or plane.  And she would cover it herself.  

No agency, on our own, etc.  First trip/meeting.  What to expect, as I see different things taking place and also used to the agency girls, cover this/that, etc.  

If this is  a stupid question, ignore it, tell me, whatever.  I'm just looking for advice here.

[Aloe]

i would strongly recommend her to consider and at least look up the prices for the plane trip, unless she lives really close to Moscow, because, for example, my hometown is 2k km away from Moscow, which is 2 days by train, and unless you want a sitting place(sitting for 2 days straight on a crappy seat anyone?) or a place in crappy compartment without doors, the plane ticket is cheaper, let alone it taking 3 hours instead of 2 days.
Maybe she doesnt show her emotions because she is unsure of your intentions? I would also worry if someone who i wasnt very affectionate with would send me night gowns

[Kuna]

phantom,

At this point absolutely anything could be happening...  you haven't met so you're "relationship" to date is only a virtual one. I know it's hard, but you should be trying not to have or set expectations yet.

I need to ask these questions, as I'm preparing for my first trip/meeting.  This lady that I was introduced to, is very nice, and seems not to often show her emotions.  Me, I sometimes do, caring/worry (Not love).  It's different of course, as there is no translator/agency, which is very nice.  We arranged the meeting ourselves, etc.

I think you've made some wrong moves...  if not wrong - it's unfair to her and actually to yourself if you've been sending gifts and expressing caring (if not love)...  It's just a long leap to make before you've even met...  and yes, I know that it's difficult to stay detached - but IMHO it's prudent to do so at this stage..

Now, the other day, she was crying, about being lonely, I got her to laugh a bit, and also telling her, it wouldn't be long, before we would spend time together.  

Everyone is different...  but this sounds emotionally needy to me and that is something unattractive to me.  We're all different...  but I think you guys are in very deep before even meeting face to face.

It's hard to back out of sch a situation once you get there...  but IMHO you've made the mistake of letting this become highly emotional before it's "real".

Why dangerous???  If she is this vulnerable before meeting what will it be like for her if you meet and sparks don't fly???  Would you have preferred to take things more slowly?

I also had offered to fly her into Moscow, she said not to waste my money on such things, as she would take train or plane.  And she would cover it herself.  She got my gifts of the dresses I sent (One a night gown) what do I know.  

phantom,  please, for your sake and for her sake - stop offering her money.  WOuld you do this with a woman you were dating in the USA???  Why are you acting differently for this poor vulnerable woman in FSU???

Chill man...  let things evolve naturally...

She got my gifts of the dresses I sent (One a night gown) what do I know.  She couldn't show me the night gown on cam, as it was thin, and private.  She would save for meeting.  Wearing it now, as she liked it.  

phantom,  there is no need to talk about intimate things in here...  these things should be kept private between you and the lady you are meeting.

If you think ahead a little and start imagine posting here in a year or so and reading back on that quote... you might regret it.

Some things don't need to be posted here.

No agency, on our own, etc.  First trip/meeting.  What to expect, as I see different things taking place and also used to the agency girls, cover this/that, etc.  

I'm not sure what this sentence means as it's poorly constructed - but if you're asking what to expect I'd suggest it'll be more of the same.

I suspect she will be emotionally needy...  I suspect you will try buying her gifts etc to impress her...  and I think you need to consider how "real" the experience is before declaring life long love.

I know it is a REALLY HARD process to stay emotionally detached until after meeting because I've been there myself.

I was writing to several girls before my trip... but you just need to remember nothing is factual until you meet... there's plenty of time for emotion, etc after things get serious.

If this is  a stupid question, ignore it, tell me, whatever.  I'm just looking for advice here.

There are NO stupid questions.  Most men here are willing to help you and wish you well.  You will make mistakes, we all do...  but for your own sake you should take the lowest risk route available to you and in most cases you can control that.

Enjoy the journey - there is nothing like the first trip...  try not to over-think the process as it's there to be enjoyed.  Just try to keep it cool and things will be great.

Keep asking those stupid questions - we all did before we traveled the first time and most of us continue to ask them from time to time.

[JR]

I need to ask these questions, as I'm preparing for my first trip/meeting.  This lady that I was introduced to, is very nice, and seems not to often show her emotions.  Me, I sometimes do, caring/worry (Not love).  It's different of course, as there is no translator/agency, which is very nice.  We arranged the meeting ourselves, etc.

Now, the other day, she was crying, about being lonely, I got her to laugh a bit, and also telling her, it wouldn't be long, before we would spend time together.  I also had offered to fly her into Moscow, she said not to waste my money on such things, as she would take train or plane.  And she would cover it herself.  

No agency, on our own, etc.  First trip/meeting.  What to expect, as I see different things taking place and also used to the agency girls, cover this/that, etc.  

If this is  a stupid question, ignore it, tell me, whatever.  I'm just looking for advice here.

There was a question here? Oh yeah...what to expect.

Expect to enjoy yourself. Expect to learn something about yourself. Stop fretting over every little thing. Just go, let it flow and at the end of it all you'll know

[jdk1963]

There was a question here? Oh yeah...what to expect.

Any "Do's and Don'ts" when meeting her family for the first time?

[JR]

Any "Do's and Don'ts" when meeting her family for the first time?

Do: bring flowers

Don't: be a jerk

[ScottinCrimea]

Court the mother's approval.  This is an absolute must.  Also, set some time aside for one on one male bonding with the father.  Sharing a bottle of vodka usually goes a long way in doing this

[Dave13]

My wife's family enjoyed looking at pictures of Alaska!  Also take a bottle of wine!

Dave

[jdk1963]

Thanks,  I figured on the flowers.  Her family does not drink so wine and vodka are out.  She has said that her family is quite conservative and I expect I'll be spending some time with her older brother as well as her step-father. 

[remiel6]

Do: bring flowers

Don't: be a jerk

Yes bring flowers, but please!!!!! do not bring an even number. I am not quite sure why I only know never bring only one and never bring an even number. I think really bad things happen if you do

[Vaughn]

My wife and I first met face to face after 5 months of steady correspondence in a
neutral location, Moscow, with a contingent plan to train to her hometown after a
full day in the big city. Before the actual meeting, I insisted she plan to call home
to let her Mama know she was safe. We also devised a pact with which we both
seemed comfortable - that if either of us felt uncomfortable, each had the right to
confess this discomfort without fear of rebuttal - and to head home unimpeded.

For us, it was important to weigh the good chances that the chemistry we felt
via phone and Internet would trigger disappointment upon meeting. As things
turned out, we clicked. I don't recall any tears until we discussed the death
of her father, and again when I had to make my first departure.

Ask if the family has a garden - and if so, to visit it. The garden is often a
source of pride and joy for Russians, at least it's that way with my family there...
and don't neglect to bring photos of your loved ones as well - these are
usually of great interest to all -

[OlgaH]

The garden is often a source of pride and joy for Russians, at least it's that way with my family there...

I think not only for Russians. One day Robert and I visited mother of our friends. Her old friend was injured and we were taking his video statement at her home. When Robert started to video her friend, Mary took me to the garden. Showing me her garden she also asked me what we usually plant in our gardens in Russia. And of course she did what any Russian would do   she gave me some vegetables, herbs,  flowerpot with lilies and lily seeds.

[phantom]

Didn't think of the Do's and dont's.  Glad to read all the replies and others experience.  So, keep mom happy, and male bonding is always a plus.  I know she spends some weekends at the summer house, so I think that will be one of the visits.  She also knows I want to see Moscow, so a day there would be great, as of course, she'll be coming there first.  She already bought her ticket.  Very excited and looking forward to meeting and the trip.  I hope all goes well with the meeting.