Once upon a time...

[docetae]

I wanted to post a few lines about a talk I had with my wife. Topic was to know what has brought us to do something that is starting first as a non sense, building a family and relationship with someone living several thousands kilometers away.
My english is not perfect but I hope the subtense of these lines will be enough interesting to catch your interest and provoke your attention.

As we elaborated on this topic and shared our experience before our meeting, we defined together the root of this quest.

Everything is starting with a fairy tale. The woman is beautiful, but her daily live does not meet her expectation. The environment is playing against her, she can not express her talent, shows her beauty or have success. She is living in a dark age in a dark place with no vision of future.

The man is lonely and living usually far away. He does not know what is bringing him on this new land. Only a secret call perhaps.

He is discovering a new and strange place. He does not understand the strange language of inhabitants. He find a guide, sometime against some gold, sometime a friend.  But he will have to face many danger before meeting her. (music friend will be friend queen, or money, pink floyd)

Some will have a visage of angel and heart of stone, trying to catch his purse and his soul. Other will show immediately their unique interest for gold, ready to sell their body against a passage beyond the abyss. (Music lady marmalade, voulez vous couchez avec moi or Roxanne by The Police)

After triumphing these difficulties and showing his virtues, he will meet her and recognize her between thousands. She will place her confidence in his arms, trusting his words, ready to leave her country, her family to build a new hope ( music, can be Bryan Adams, please avoid Celine Dion)

But the more difficult challenge is waiting for them. The greatest of all evils is waiting for them. All challenge are written before. The path seems to be easy but is full of traps. Borders and Administration are the name of this Mephisto. With an army of clerks ready to delay, postpone, change, lose and refuse their simple wish to be happy (music hells bell, AC/DC).

The time is playing too, the man must go back to his country leaving his fiancee alone in the darkness. Oceans, distances are now between them. But their love will be stronger and together they will triumph. The lord of the dark will surrender and will open the way to love and happiness (music hallelujah, Leonard Cohen).

Our quest is starting often like a fairy tale where we can loose ourself. Key to the success and love is perhaps only to not forget the essential: We must not believe in fairy tale. This whole quest is showing to each partner our strength, our will but our weakness too. The more important in this story is to always stay in contact with reality and not to fall in our own dreams and fantasies. 

Anna & Benoit

[OlgaH]

 


One of my favorite movies is a romantic drama 'The Lake House'. Man and woman reveal of themselves corresponding through the mysterious mailbox. Though we had only 12 hours time difference there was another romantic addition - different languages.

But I have always remembered the words by my favorite Russian actress Faina Ranevskaya. One day a journalist asked her: Faina Grigoryevna, do you become oblivious of reality  playing on stage? Faina Grigoryevna answered: "Darling, if I lost contact with reality I would be in the orchestra pit"  

[ScottinCrimea]

The more important in this story is to always stay in contact with reality and not to fall in our own dreams and fantasies. 

This is the most important thing for both.  If we let our fantasies overwhelm reality, everything will ultimately fall apart.

[krimster]

"...If we let our fantasies overwhelm reality, everything will ultimately fall apart."

ahhh grasshoppa', you have at last snatched the pebble.  the present of wisdom you have given, was at first unwrapped by you

[Gator]

Anna & Benoit,

Thanks for sharing.  Your English is fine.  I too have felt many of the emotions that you have expressed.  

Canadians have a more difficult immigration obstacle, yet the two of you have perservered.  This reveals your high degree of commitment to each other, something any relationship needs to cross the cultural divide and to facilitate the woman's adustment.