Another New guy here

[ianc951]

This is my first visit here, I had a 13 month relationship with Russian Lady from Spb. I visited her there and stayed one week, then arranged to meet her again in London for 3 weeks, we wrote each other every day via email as well as skyped in between. I am British but,  live in Los Angeles. All I can say is that it was an experience. These Russian women my look the same, but their thought processes are totally different from most westerners. I made the mistake of falling in love, she didn't, she just told me she had. Towards the climax of our relationship she repeatedly told me I was too American???? She seemed to be an expert on everything, she said we care too much about money, she told me she did not care about money (that's because it wasn't hers she was spending). Her English was excellent, I know enough Russian to get myself into trouble. but even with her advanced English speaking skills, there was much confusion. I came to this site and it seems everyone is pro Russian/FSU women, personally now through experience, I no longer think these women are anything special, in fact I now think the opposite, yes they look good and spend an hour minimum making themselves this way before leaving the apartment, but I think they are a product of their environment. They have had it very tough for generations and it has made them cold and unfeeling, and they have learnt to take advantage of every situation. I grew tired of her repeating to me how hard life is for Russian people and I just would never understand. I have a business degree from the UK, she did not attend university, but I could tell she thought herself far superior when it came to the gray matter. It's not all a bed of roses. I suggest you find a lady closer to home. maybe I just found the wrong lady? Maybe I just don't have a clue myself? I would just like to say, if you are not already married to a lady from FSU, then strap yourself in tight and enjoy the hair raising ride.

[ScottinCrimea]

It is not wise to base your understanding of RW on a single experience, just as it wouldn't be wise to base your understanding of LA based on visiting a single area (Compton for example).

Sorry you had a bad experience.  It could have just as easily been a bad experience with a AW.  If you have had one, are you writing on forums expressing your disgust with AW in general?

[Shadow]

I grew tired of her repeating to me how hard life is for Russian people and I just would never understand.

 Maybe I just don't have a clue myself?

The above should have been a clue for you.
The sincere RW have never told me how bad or tough their life was. They told that in spite of the differences they love their country.

[Admin]

This is my first visit here, I had a 13 month relationship with Russian Lady from Spb. I visited her there and stayed one week, then arranged to meet her again in London for 3 weeks, we wrote each other every day via email as well as skyped in between. I am British but,  live in Los Angeles. All I can say is that it was an experience. These Russian women my look the same, but their thought processes are totally different from most westerners. I made the mistake of falling in love, she didn't, she just told me she had. Towards the climax of our relationship she repeatedly told me I was too American???? She seemed to be an expert on everything, she said we care too much about money, she told me she did not care about money (that's because it wasn't hers she was spending). Her English was excellent, I know enough Russian to get myself into trouble. but even with her advanced English speaking skills, there was much confusion. I came to this site and it seems everyone is pro Russian/FSU women, personally now through experience, I no longer think these women are anything special, in fact I now think the opposite, yes they look good and spend an hour minimum making themselves this way before leaving the apartment, but I think they are a product of their environment. They have had it very tough for generations and it has made them cold and unfeeling, and they have learnt to take advantage of every situation. I grew tired of her repeating to me how hard life is for Russian people and I just would never understand. I have a business degree from the UK, she did not attend university, but I could tell she thought herself far superior when it came to the gray matter. It's not all a bed of roses. I suggest you find a lady closer to home. maybe I just found the wrong lady? Maybe I just don't have a clue myself? I would just like to say, if you are not already married to a lady from FSU, then strap yourself in tight and enjoy the hair raising ride.

ian,

I split your post out of the other 'Introduction' topic for clarity.

Welcome aboard.

- Dan

[Rina_G]

lets be wise please.
man is very sad and angry.he lost time (and money) and his hope didn't become reality.
Sorry
please shouldn't make so fast and cathogoric minds.
now take pause and may be soon you'll change your opinion or you will looking closer woman.
In any cases you'll be right.
I can say one - ask you women ask and get reply.
so everything will clean and understandly.
don't beleive good borsh or coffee - loo far than your belly
Good luck

[Turboguy]

I agree, youc can't form a judgement on one woman. I met many like the one you met and at one point gave up for a while because of it. The is a pot of gold in this treasure hunt but you do have to swim past some sharks to find it. Personally I found non materialistic women easiier to find in the smaller cities but of course there are good big city women too.

[GoodOlBoy]

Hello Ianc951 and welcome to RWD.

Sorry, But....You come across in your post as a VERY bitter/angy man?

I no longer think these women (RW) are anything special, in fact I now think the opposite......

Well I would have to STRONGLY disagree with you here.

Any FSUW who would leave her Motherland, Family, Job, Flat, Car and everything else behind in hopes of having a "happy family" in another country...... I submit is MORE "special" than ANY woman you would ever hope to find (anywhere in this world).

These women (from the FSU) are absolute "treasures" and should be treated as such.

They don't deserve anything less.

Maybe FSUW aren't your cup of tea?


GOB

[GQBlues]

Hey Ian...

Generally, IMO you're not too far off with your assessment. I live in LA and is married to a RW for a few years now.

Most of what you described are a bit more ingrained with RWs of advanced ages. I've noticed the younger ones however are not as set in their ways but shows the same inclination. Yes, they are inclined to be a bit more judgmental than most women of other culture and they all believe to be an expert on everything. All of the RWs I know, including my wife, had figured out life and system in the USA after only being here 3-6 months. LOL. Everything in Russia is so much better. LOL. What makes that even worst is the fact they are stubborn as a mule. There's a point you reach where you just resign yourself to not say anything and let them experience things through trial and error. Then once they find out that things are not what they believe them to be, they will never recognize the error of their ways and NEVER admit to you you were right and they were wrong. Never. Never. Never. They occasionally will, however, get upset with you for holding back. LOL. Damned if you do....

Planning things i.e get togethers, trips, etc..if left on their own to do, it is an experience full of frustration but worth going through. The noticeable lack of details in those plans is sometimes worth the price of admission in itself.

The are a few things noticeably different with my wife, but the one that's very noticeable is her disposition with money. She's extremely frugal. Even now, despite having a full time well paying job, she would never go out and spend money without first discussing it with me. She clearly respects my opinion about our expenses. Her check goes directly into our joint account and never a distinction between what's her earnings from mine.

Initially I observed that when she spends more of her time with non-RWs, most of the things described above seem to dissipate a great deal. Especially the tendency to be judgmental. But when she starts hanging out with the big red wrecking crew, Oh Boy! The whackiest thing to watch is how they gossip amongst each other, about each other, and within each other. It's hysterical.

Are they any better than any other women, absolute NO for me. Are they worst? Definite NO for me.

While happily married to a Russian woman, I still strongly believe much can be said about marrying women in your own culture. If I knew then what I know now, would I have gone to Russia? No. However, I have no regrets.

[BC]

Little more than a fortnight in a year doth not a relationship make.

Believe it or not, reading your post in that light tells me one word... Normalna..

I made the mistake of falling in love, she didn't, she just told me she had.

She probably realizes that it takes a lot more to produce love from infatuation.. She just didn't want to burst your bubble.

All FWIW btw.. - now don't go off getting pissed at me..  

[Faux Pas]

These Russian women my look the same, but their thought processes are totally different from most westerners

.

I have to disagree with you here. Their thought processes are pretty much like women everywhere. Being Russian and raised in a different culture causes more nuances in personality but overall they really aren't that much different from women the world over.

I made the mistake of falling in love, she didn't, she just told me she had. Towards the climax of our relationship she repeatedly told me I was too American???? She seemed to be an expert on everything, she said we care too much about money, she told me she did not care about money (that's because it wasn't hers she was spending).

How could you fall in love with a woman like that? Possibly the little head taking over your thinking process? Would you fall in love with a Brit or an American with those traits?

Her English was excellent, I know enough Russian to get myself into trouble. but even with her advanced English speaking skills, there was much confusion.

There's plenty of confusion to go around in these relationships on both sides even with excellent speaking skills. Again, the nuances of different languages and backgrounds are a catalyst for confusion about each other.

I no longer think these women are anything special, in fact I now think the opposite, yes they look good and spend an hour minimum making themselves this way before leaving the apartment, but I think they are a product of their environment.

One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch my friend. We are all products of our environment and that alone makes it difficult to recognize our defects when everyone else has the same defects.

They have had it very tough for generations and it has made them cold and unfeeling, and they have learnt to take advantage of every situation. I grew tired of her repeating to me how hard life is for Russian people and I just would never understand. I have a business degree from the UK, she did not attend university, but I could tell she thought herself far superior when it came to the gray matter

.

Ian, you seem to have found a woman that was cold and unfeeling and she was also Russian. I can introduce you to many American women that could make her look as if sugar wouldn't melt in her mouth. Does it really make any sense to accuse an entire country of ladies because of your own single bad choice?

It's not all a bed of roses. I suggest you find a lady closer to home

.

I agree whole-heartedly. International dating is not for the faint hearted or those on a tight budget. You can find cold and unfeeling women at home. I suspect there is even a gem or two left at home if one looks hard enough.

maybe I just found the wrong lady? Maybe I just don't have a clue myself? I would just like to say, if you are not already married to a lady from FSU, then strap yourself in tight and enjoy the hair raising ride.

Here you may be getting more to the heart of the matter. Everyday email and skype is good but, it certainly isn't enough to learn about and fall in love with anybody. IMHO you need much face time. More more than you could garner in 13 months and two trips that equated to 4 weeks. How many ladies have you fell in love with after 4 weeks? Is this a lone incident for you or was there more?

My post may sound a bit condescending but it is not meant to be. But to point out the absurdity of what you stated in your post. You fell in love after 4 weeks to a cold unfeeling woman and thus all Russian women are damaged? C'mon, sometimes it's difficult to look at the man in mirror, isn't it? 

[Faux Pas]

Geez, almost forgot Ian, Welcome to RWD!!

[BC]

I have to disagree with you here. Their thought processes are pretty much like women everywhere. Being Russian and raised in a different culture causes more nuances in personality but overall they really aren't that much different from women the world over.

Have to disagree Faux, the underlying aspects, yes they are similar.. but the way a RW exhibits.. well totally different.  Does take a long while to be able to come somewhere close to 'reading' between the lines.

How could you fall in love with a woman like that? Possibly the little head taking over your thinking process? Would you fall in love with a Brit or an American with those traits?

If we're talking about 'too much money' to visit her.. then it makes some sense to pull the 'greedy' plot.  If it's about a fur coat, another...

There's plenty of confusion to go around in these relationships on both sides even with excellent speaking skills. Again, the nuances of different languages and backgrounds are a catalyst for confusion about each other.

Yes, my wife's english was quite good.. but still we had difficulties.. my foot was in mouth a few times, often rightly so.
 

One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch my friend. We are all products of our environment and that alone makes it difficult to recognize our defects when everyone else has the same defects.

Haven't seen the worm quite yet..

Ian, you seem to have found a woman that was cold and unfeeling and she was also Russian. I can introduce you to many American women that could make her look as if sugar wouldn't melt in her mouth. Does it really make any sense to accuse an entire country of ladies because of your own single bad choice?

From 13000 miles away, ANYTHING negative is amplified.

I agree whole-heartedly. International dating is not for the faint hearted or those on a tight budget. You can find cold and unfeeling women at home. I suspect there is even a gem or two left at home if one looks hard enough.

Agree wholeheartedly.. I really think that quite a few men, once 'hooked' actually limit their true potential.. that of course if they can get their butt off the couch in the first place..

Here you may be getting more to the heart of the matter. Everyday email and skype is good but, it certainly isn't enough to learn about and fall in love with anybody. IMHO you need much face time. More more than you could garner in 13 months and two trips that equated to 4 weeks. How many ladies have you fell in love with after 4 weeks? Is this a lone incident for you or was there more?

I tend to fall in 'lust' instantly...

My post may sound a bit condescending but it is not meant to be. But to point out the absurdity of what you stated in your post. You fell in love after 4 weeks to a cold unfeeling woman and thus all Russian women are damaged? C'mon, sometimes it's difficult to look at the man in mirror, isn't it? 

As far as we know, he could have also thrown a diamond down the pipe..  If my assumptions are correct about face to face time, she simply tired out on him and is likely looking elsewhere.

[Faux Pas]

Have to disagree Faux, the underlying aspects, yes they are similar.. but the way a RW exhibits.. well totally different.  Does take a long while to be able to come somewhere close to 'reading' between the lines.

We'll have to agree to disagree on this one. I'm certainly not stating that I'm right but, from my experience the basic fundamentals of women are much of the same. I say this after having only dated women from 4 different cultures but I saw way too many similarities to agree with you.

 

Haven't seen the worm quite yet..

It would appear she was bad for Ian and he was obviously not getting what he needed from the relationship.

From 13000 miles away, ANYTHING negative is amplified.

Sooo very true
 

As far as we know, he could have also thrown a diamond down the pipe..  If my assumptions are correct about face to face time, she simply tired out on him and is likely looking elsewhere.

We'll never know but, as I stated further up that she obviously wasn't the woman for him and he does come off as bitter from the experience. He believes she is bad and thus all RW must be bad. Seems to me this woman wasn't even close to all peaches and cream to leave such an impression on the man. There are many bad women out there BC and even in Russia. 

[Gator]

Ian,

Welcome to RWD.  All I can say is that not all RW are the same.  

For example, from what little I can read in your post, you seem different from BC, who differs from GQBlues, who differs from Faux Pas, who differs from GoodOlBoy, etc.  So why should all RW be the same?

I made the mistake of falling in love, she didn't

This happens all the time with all women.  Just because you love someone does not mean she loves you or will eventually fall in love with you.

she just told me she had.  

And you believed it even though you later discover it was untrue.  Perhaps she is a "bad" woman.  Perhaps you climbed faster up  the romantic curve than her and did not "read" her correctly.

If the latter, you are not alone.  From a  disputed survey done many years ago of AM-RW marriages with brief facetime together before engagement:

6.  60% of the women did not love their husbands when they married
7.  99% of the men 'loved' their wives when they married.

Anyway, why not try again?  Somehow you have found RWD so you must  have some residual  interest in RW.

 

[ianc951]

I sincerely appreciate all, and I mean all your inputs. maybe I am not a good judge of character?, I had spoken in depth with 5 Russian and two Ukraine women before, but did not visit, I did not fall in love with them. I felt she was special and maybe I am hurt because she did not feel the same even if she told me other. I wish you all the best of luck and happy lives. Thank you