Poll.....How many years of marriage?

[GoodOlBoy]

I apologize ladies, But.......This poll is for the married/divorced men of RWD only. 

GOB

[BC]

I voted for 7... ask me next year and I would probably respond 8 

Seriously though, IMHE the first three years were quite critical, especially with a newborn thrown in.

.. and there is the old '7 year itch' theory that floats around, pretty much substantiated by my last marriage.

A lot depends IMHO on where you both are in life.  Men and women do experience 'middle age crisis'.. believe men in their 40's and women somewhere in their 30's.

My wife called today from the train (she's returning from a month in RU)..AND in her early 30's.. She said she is 'calm'.. so not to worry.. LOL  Maybe that's a good sign.

[JR]

There are no "safe waters." You can remain married for your entire life to a woman you have no business being married to for one day. A good marriage lies within compatibility and many other factors which have little or nothing to do with years spent together.

[Vaughn]

A good marriage lies within compatibility and many other factors which have little or nothing to do with years spent together.

True, Jolly, but the other side of that coin shows that time will reveal all. Intolerable bad habits that just won't
go away, trust issues that weren't recognized (or have developed from none at all), life-changing events, etc.
Compatibilty on its own won't save a slowly sinking ship - and when both partners begin to bail water, compatibility
becomes awfully difficult for either to even recognize or enjoy.

I voted for five years. It was at that point we began to enjoy a deep faith in one another. 

[Aloe]

my husbands trust began since day 1, no actually it began before that, we were sharing info to game accounts with a few thousand bucks worth of stuff long before our first real life meeting

[Jooky]

we were sharing info to game accounts

Club Penguin? 

Seriously, Warcraft, Second Life or something else?

[Aloe]

Club Penguin? 

Seriously, Warcraft, Second Life or something else?

lineage 2, wow is for kiddies!
leeeeeerooooyyyyy

[SMS60]

Actually men and women ( more so men) should look at it as "no safe waters". If you look at it as safe you could start taking the relationship for granted which could lead to problems for one partner or the other.

[tfcrew]

There are no "safe waters." 

Agreed

[beachcomber556]

Vika and I just celebrated our 3rd anniversary.  The relationship grows stronger every day. 

[GoodOlBoy]

Wow Beachcomber556.......glad everything is OK with you guys!

After your post 5 month's ago (and nothing much since), I kind of suspected the worse. 

Vika and I are going through a very difficult time right now.  Perhaps we are headed in the same direction as you (Scott) and yours.  Your willingness to bare and share all helps me more than you can imagine.  The whole character thing you have mentioned rings loud and clear.  I think to myself, "there is no fool like an old fool".  Now here I am at nearly 53 facing the unpleasant prospect of starting all over again.     Maybe not, maybe.  But lots of warning signs are pointing in that direction.

GOB

[Markus]

I don't think a man should ever get to the point to where he feels he is "safe" from divorce. My
wife doesn't take any crap from me. There are times when I get out of line and her persistent
disagreement keeps me in line. I think she's a little overboard at times, but, I deal with it. That
normally means me acting like a husband instead of meeting with the guys so much. I compromise
more than I would like. But, my wife is more important to me than being with the guys. Some
guys' wives are more lenient, but their husbands all require a kitchen pass too.

What I have learned over the years is that a man should make his wife feel that she is the most
important part of his life. If a man becomes "safe" and neglects making his wife feel and know that
she is the most important part of his life, there could be trouble ahead. But, that's marriage with
most any woman. I had to give up some things that I like to do to make sure my wife knows she
is most important to me. But, I really enjoy being married. I wouldn't trade being married to my
wife to do what I want at all. I have learned to balance the independence away from my wife
with being with her. Again, her views are different from mine, but, we work it out. I guess that's why
we made it past the 5-year mark. I will say that we made it this far not only on my compromises, but
on hers too. I found an excellent wife in Russia. I just hope that I have been doing things
right up to this point.

Mark

[dunrick]

No new updates.  Filed a police report, police came over did the usual questions.  I called and was able to claim my passport as stolen.  I got to file for my daughters and I can not call my wifes in.

[tfcrew]

I just quoted the previous post in the Dunrick thread...
Now where are the rest of our members in this poll thread???
[only 19 votes !!]

[Turboguy]

Isn't it really a day by day thing.  A marriage can be in safe waters at any time and in trouble at any time.   Sometimes I guess it could be thought of as in safe waters and really be in trouble with one partner having no idea at all. 

Personally I think there is never a time that you should take your marriage for granted which is something that can happen if you think you are in safe waters, that you need to keep working to make sure you are making you partner happy and building a strong relationship and good life together  A relationship or marriage is work at times, sacrifice at times and always must be the most important thing in your life. 

I am just short of the two year mark and have always felt my marriage was in safe waters.  That doesn't mean that I don't think it could change if I did or for that matter that she can't change.  Everyone changes and you must make sure your changes fit each other and are good for the relationship.

I haven't voted because I don't think there is an answer.  I guess the to death do us part would be the best answer but when that happens your relationship is definately not in safe waters, one of you just drowned.