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Poll

OK guy's.....From intial contact with an FSUW until you get your butt on a plane to meet her, how much time should pass?

1 month or LESS
4 (9.1%)
2 months
11 (25%)
3 months
15 (34.1%)
4 months
5 (11.4%)
5 months
4 (9.1%)
6 months
2 (4.5%)
7 months
1 (2.3%)
8 months
0 (0%)
9 months
0 (0%)
10 months
0 (0%)
11 months
0 (0%)
12 months
1 (2.3%)
More than 12 months?
1 (2.3%)

Total Members Voted: 43

Author Topic: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting  (Read 4518 times)

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Offline GoodOlBoy

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POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« on: September 12, 2009, 11:59:20 AM »
Thank you for the question Rina G.

I hope this poll helps you! ;)


GOB
« Last Edit: September 12, 2009, 12:02:08 PM by GoodOlBoy »
“For God and country, Geronimo, Geronimo, Geronimo......... Geronimo E.K.I.A.”

Offline Ade

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #1 on: September 12, 2009, 12:16:18 PM »
Thank you for the question Rina G.

I hope this poll helps you! ;)


GOB

Crap, I misread the question. I thought you were asking how much time did pass not how much time should pass. I'd say as soon as possible after you've figure out she's not fat Yuri and that you're somewhere on the same wavelength with her.

Offline BC

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2009, 01:32:38 PM »
Even though our time was zero, considering logistics, maybe visa, arranging vacation time, etc a couple of months is reasonable.

Offline philb

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #3 on: September 12, 2009, 07:50:28 PM »
My opinion on this has changed over time.  If I had been asked this question when I first started I would have answered 4 months or more.  By the time I met my wife my answer would have been 1 or 2 months at most.  I corresponded with my wife for less than a month before we met in person.

Every situation is different though.  I was able to travel to the FSU 3 to 4 times a year and stay for 3 to 4 weeks at a time.  If I was only able to go a couple of times a year I would probably recommend a longer period of correspondence.

Offline remiel6

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2009, 06:17:29 AM »
Like Jaded I also answered how much time did pass. For me because of my law school schedule I can only travel at certain times. For this reason there were 5 months between the first letter and seeing her although technically is was like 4 months and 25 days. As I can be a bit overzealous at times I would have gone in a month or 2 had I had the option, but that might have been too soon. Not sure there is a too soon if she miss right. I would say that if a person is not an avid letter writer and prefers other forms of communication then the importance of traveling sooner is magnified.

Offline GoodOlBoy

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #5 on: September 13, 2009, 01:22:32 PM »
Not sure there is a too soon if she miss right.

I agree with your assessment Remiel6.

Or as we say down South: "If you snooze....you just might lose!" :D


GOB
« Last Edit: September 13, 2009, 01:59:13 PM by GoodOlBoy »
“For God and country, Geronimo, Geronimo, Geronimo......... Geronimo E.K.I.A.”

Offline tfcrew

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #6 on: September 14, 2009, 12:48:43 PM »
I voted 3 months.
This after serious interest is mutally expressed and invitation extended.
 A visa [if needed] should be applied for ASAP
Facts do not cease to exist just because they are ignored.  -Aldous Huxley

Offline Rina_G

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #7 on: September 14, 2009, 12:55:08 PM »
How many time need for getting Russian visa in USA?
If you can dream it you can do it. Me

Offline Vaughn

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #8 on: September 14, 2009, 01:16:23 PM »
Rina, two weeks is the average turnaround - but for more money it can be done
in less time.

Offline GregfromGa

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #9 on: September 14, 2009, 05:31:21 PM »
For guys in the states then I would say 2 maybe 3 months at the absolute most. Guys in Europe going to Ukraine then I'd say leave the next weekend. I mean it's like me driving to Atlanta. No excuse whatsoever for a guy in Europe to wait 2 or 3 months to go see a girl.

Offline Ade

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #10 on: September 14, 2009, 11:08:51 PM »
For guys in the states then I would say 2 maybe 3 months at the absolute most. Guys in Europe going to Ukraine then I'd say leave the next weekend. I mean it's like me driving to Atlanta. No excuse whatsoever for a guy in Europe to wait 2 or 3 months to go see a girl.

Well, there are those mundane things to consider like booking flights, hotels/apartments, taking care of home and work commitments (yes, even if going for a long weekend) and, if going to Russia, getting a visa to name but a few. So, for most of us Europeans, I'd say "leaving the next weekend" is pushing the "ASAP" a bit far. You also have to take into consideration that some people like to confirm as much as is possible their compatibility via email/phone before the trip too.

For the average European, unless they are in a desperate hurry, I'd say 1 to 2 months is reasonable time to get a Russian trip together and 1 month to 6 weeks for going to Ukraine.

Of course, if you are in a hell of a rush, assuming flights/hotels are available and you don't have work/home commitments to take care of, you could do the trip within 2 days if you wanted; you can get a Russian visa here the same day if you pay the huge fee.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2009, 11:23:26 PM by SeriouslyJaded »

Offline Rina_G

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #11 on: September 14, 2009, 11:53:56 PM »
Rina, two weeks is the average turnaround - but for more money it can be done
in less time.
Thanks Vaughn.
I thought so and didn't beleive when one man said me about "several monthes" :ROFL:
If you can dream it you can do it. Me

Offline GregfromGa

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #12 on: September 15, 2009, 04:40:56 AM »
Well, there are those mundane things to consider like booking flights, hotels/apartments, taking care of home and work commitments (yes, even if going for a long weekend) and, if going to Russia, getting a visa to name but a few. So, for most of us Europeans, I'd say "leaving the next weekend" is pushing the "ASAP" a bit far. You also have to take into consideration that some people like to confirm as much as is possible their compatibility via email/phone before the trip too.

For the average European, unless they are in a desperate hurry, I'd say 1 to 2 months is reasonable time to get a Russian trip together and 1 month to 6 weeks for going to Ukraine.

Of course, if you are in a hell of a rush, assuming flights/hotels are available and you don't have work/home commitments to take care of, you could do the trip within 2 days if you wanted; you can get a Russian visa here the same day if you pay the huge fee.

Leaving the next weekend was a joke and you notice I said Ukraine not Russia. I've been around here long enough to appreciate the logistics of traveling to Siberia. With that being said 2 months is too long in my opinion to wait to go see a girl if you live in Europe. I would've loved the luxury of long weekends. Again if cost is a factor then maybe this just aint your gig. I know it would be difficult for me to make all the trips I made in the past with this economy.

Offline Ade

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #13 on: September 15, 2009, 05:13:03 AM »
Leaving the next weekend was a joke and you notice I said Ukraine not Russia. I've been around here long enough to appreciate the logistics of traveling to Siberia. With that being said 2 months is too long in my opinion to wait to go see a girl if you live in Europe. I would've loved the luxury of long weekends. Again if cost is a factor then maybe this just aint your gig. I know it would be difficult for me to make all the trips I made in the past with this economy.

Well, some people in Europe have work/home commitments that span weekends so it's not just a matter of getting on a plane. The first half of last year was incredibly hectic for me so I was lucky I could get to SPB for a week after two months of trying to squeeze it in. Even so, unless a girlfriend is living in and around the major cities that can be flown to directly (Moscow, SPB for instance), you can be still talking of 16 hours or more to get from A to B. That's basically 2 days shot getting to and from the place; not much of a weekend left.

And, if cost is not a factor then people can take unpaid leave and go whenever they want for however long they want to... In reality, unless a person is very wealthy and doesn't work, time and money almost always have to be factored in at some point no matter where you live.

And btw, I mentioned Ukraine and Russia and I wasn't joking.

Offline GregfromGa

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #14 on: September 15, 2009, 05:40:10 AM »
You are absolutely right. What was I thinking? I didnt realize it would take 16 hours from a major city in Europe to fly to Kiev,Moscow,St Petersburg,ETC....You would know because you live there and have obviously made these trips numerous times in your quest to find the right girl. I was just looking at a map and it looks to me like guys that live in Europe would have a distinctive advantage over guys that live in say Compton CA or Topeka KS or Douglas GA. I just thought that since guys on that side of the Atlantic is a little closer then they should and could narrow the gap between visits. Of course I've been proven wrong again because I never factored in the fact that they might have a job. My bad.

Offline Ade

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #15 on: September 15, 2009, 06:01:23 AM »
You are absolutely right. What was I thinking? I didnt realize it would take 16 hours from a major city in Europe to fly to Kiev,Moscow,St Petersburg,ETC....You would know because you live there and have obviously made these trips numerous times in your quest to find the right girl. I was just looking at a map and it looks to me like guys that live in Europe would have a distinctive advantage over guys that live in say Compton CA or Topeka KS or Douglas GA. I just thought that since guys on that side of the Atlantic is a little closer then they should and could narrow the gap between visits. Of course I've been proven wrong again because I never factored in the fact that they might have a job. My bad.

No, it doesn't take 16 hours to fly to Moscow from anywhere in Western Europe; but it can take more than that to get from my door to my wife's mother's in Arkhangelsk when you factor in taxi, train and plane connections, or even days when you consider that the best connections for us only fly twice a week (not on weekends btw).

But yes, we do have distinct advantages here over you guys but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's always possible to take long weekends to the FSU that would be worthwhile taking. Of course, it's much simpler just to get them to come to us for some months every now and then, and that fixes that issue.

FWIW, although I understand that people have very good reasons for not travelling very soon and/or often, if it were me and I couldn't visit within 6 to 8 weeks and have a visit no less than every 2 months after that, I wouldn't bother with international dating to start with.

Offline GregfromGa

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #16 on: September 15, 2009, 06:11:53 AM »
This we can agree. Guys that think they can string along a lady for months on end, visit 1 time, maybe twice within a year, get married and live happily ever, well they've been getting bad information. This can be and is an expensive process if you dont get lucky. I got extremely lucky and it still costs. I dont think I could do this process in this economy. I've had a couple of friends that I met in Ukraine and here that have been burned pretty good the past few months with girls changing their minds because the girls kept shopping. Always looking for a better option.

Offline GoodOlBoy

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #17 on: September 15, 2009, 06:56:25 AM »
Thanks Vaughn.
I thought so and didn't beleive when one man said me about "several monthes" :ROFL:

Hello Rina_G.

Did your suitor happen to mention if he needed a USA passport and Russian Visa?

A lot of people in the GoodOl' USA still don't have their passports.

If he does need to get a passport, this will add more time to the process also.


GOB
“For God and country, Geronimo, Geronimo, Geronimo......... Geronimo E.K.I.A.”

Offline greg2654

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #18 on: September 15, 2009, 08:23:30 AM »
Guys,

What is the major rush? The worst decisions are always the hasty ones. You have to sort through these gals somehow to weed out the scammers and the players and TIME is one good way to do that. Scammers can't wait and if it's a race between 30 guys for 1 woman the biggest loser is the guy that wins because your going to play this game for the rest of your life.

The guys I know that failed the hardest are the ones that flew to Russia with a ring in their pocket and a list of gals because they were determined to get married NOW !!
Greg

Offline Ade

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #19 on: September 15, 2009, 10:09:13 AM »
Guys,

What is the major rush? The worst decisions are always the hasty ones. You have to sort through these gals somehow to weed out the scammers and the players and TIME is one good way to do that. Scammers can't wait and if it's a race between 30 guys for 1 woman the biggest loser is the guy that wins because your going to play this game for the rest of your life.

The guys I know that failed the hardest are the ones that flew to Russia with a ring in their pocket and a list of gals because they were determined to get married NOW !!
Greg

But going there without too much delay and very often over a period of a year or more will allow people to really get to know each other. My wife and I spent 6 months living together over an 18 month period before she moved here for good and we got married. Of course you're right in that someone shouldn't rush over there before he's at least fairly sure there's a reasonable chance of compatibility and they he shouldn't be thinking engagement for quite some time.

Offline greg2654

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #20 on: September 15, 2009, 09:35:33 PM »
"But going there without too much delay and very often over a period of a year or more will allow people to really get to know each other."

I agree completely.

Offline Kuna

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Re: POLL....How Much Time Between First Contact and Initial Meeting
« Reply #21 on: October 01, 2009, 03:48:52 AM »
It depends on the approach that one is comfortable with...

a WMVM trip really negates the question...  go whenever you want because all contacts are going to just be coffee meetings to start with (hopefully - not promiuses to many women)...

A WOVO trip is probably the result of prolonged correspondence...  but I'd enourage a man to travel as soon as he's sure he's found someone who is PROBABLY compatible.

There are too many variables to give an appropriate answer in all situations...


 

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