Hoping to learn and finally meet that one perfect woman

[adrenalizd]

Hi all, Another new guy here. So I guess first a little about me. I am here because I have been doing a lot of research and it seems that women from Russia and the Ukraine are more family oriented than women from the states. My last two relationships haven't panned out because the women changed. I have children that live with me full time and it seems as if the women I date pretend to like them only to get to me. Once I let them in they change. So that's my reason for being here. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[GoodOlBoy]

Hello Adrenalized and welcome to RWD.

I am here because I have been doing a lot of research and it seems that women from Russia and the Ukraine are more family oriented than women from the states.

Doing your homework is very prudent in this endeavor.

If I may ask, where exactly did you get this "myth" from?

Maybe from some agencies?


GOB

[adrenalizd]

Uh oh... first myth. Yep you guessed it, well I think it was an agency disguiesed as an information page.

[Daveman]

Uh oh... first myth. Yep you guessed it, well I think it was an agency disguiesed as an information page.

Heh, welcome to the world of myth and mayhem.  Yes FSU ladies are family oriented, but no more or less than women anywhere else in the world I guess.  The easiest way to look at this is that you can find a woman in the FSU with the personality traits you seek just like you could at home if you seriously put the time into finding her.

Now, the difference is that the FSU ladies do take a little better care of their appearance on average than girls at home. Less overweight (but changing more and more), usually wear make-up and very nice clothes.  So, your potential lady will probably have an appearance more appealing to you, but she's still a woman, with all the traits of a woman, blended with the traits of her personality. 

Other than the family oriented/ traditional myths, why else are you thinking about FSU ladies?  Gotta tell ya, if you do go over there, you'll probably be hooked (the eyes, the accent, the food, MMMMM it's addictive brother)

Welcome to the board!
Dave

[Vaughn]

Welcome to RWD, adrenalizd ....

I've been in your shoes, but a decade ago...  two young daughters - and each time
a local woman would come close - she was suddenly taking sides in an argument
that didn't even exist. How many times the death of a dating relationship ended
when I heard "I'll show her how children should be raised...."  Huh? I wasn't
seeking a surrogate mother-figure at all.

Mixing kids with a woman who might have a child or two of her own will pose a
tremendous challenge - one in which there is usually no "practice time" to speak
of before a K-1 visa wedding. It's not a rare event by any means, but a hurdle
to be reckoned with for sure.

If I might ask - how many children do you have? What are their gender and ages?
Most importantly - how long have you had sole custody, or put another way, how
long has their Mom been out of the picture? Does she have visitation?  

Be forewarned that Russian and Ukrainian women will also change, as most women
worldwide do. Courting and marrying a foreign woman has its rewards, but the same
hazards as in any homegrown relationship are present, and then some. They're
certainly not a "quick-fix" to any conditions at home that a local gal cannot deal with.

A good starting point would be to make a mental list of your honestly stated expectations
in the pursuit of a FSU bride, and to click on the Ten Commandments icon above and
really digest them. Yeah, be very wary of agency hype - it all seems so attractive,
and their mission is simply to relieve you of as much hard-earned income as possible.
Their chief function, as I see it, is to acquaint/introduce. Everything else is optional.

[docetae]

Hello,

My wife is from Ukraine and I am in almost same situation than you regarding children. let me share some of our thoughts.
- Try to meet a woman with a child. They already know what it means to keep care of children ... people who have child/children will understand what I mean, other will understand later
- If you meet such woman, look the behavior of the child, you will learn a lot about her mother. You will learn  a lot about her values and her: Children don't do what parents told them, they do what they see...

Each person is different, you will meet family oriented women, some less, some not at all..But in all cases: Avoid agencies. They were ok perhaps 5 years ago, definitely no more now when you can contact women directly trough local sites.

[ScottinCrimea]

I wouldn't say that RW are necessarily more or less family oriented, they just view family in a different way than is common in the west.  It may be compatible with your views and it may not. That's one of the things you need to ferret out before any k-1.

[GoodOlBoy]

.........Less overweight (but changing more and more),....

I agree Daveman.

The one thing I have noticed over my lifetime is that Communistic/Dictatorship types of Governments, tend to "starve" their people. 

But then on the other hand, we here in the GoodOl' USA have BMW's (ie: Big Mac Women :evil:) to exemplify our ways of "freedom".

Say what you want, but FSUW are "leaner" for a reason (and it ain't genetics ).


GOB

[BC]

Hi all, Another new guy here. So I guess first a little about me. I am here because I have been doing a lot of research and it seems that women from Russia and the Ukraine are more family oriented than women from the states. My last two relationships haven't panned out because the women changed. I have children that live with me full time and it seems as if the women I date pretend to like them only to get to me. Once I let them in they change. So that's my reason for being here. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Don't expect that to be any better with a RW.. There are a lot of complex dynamics with kids on both sides that should not be underestimated. The really bad part is that usually there is little or no possibility to really see how they all interact and get along over a prolonged period.   Ever seen the move 'Overboard'?

[Ed Grubermann]

Hi all, Another new guy here. So I guess first a little about me. I am here because I have been doing a lot of research and it seems that women from Russia and the Ukraine are more family oriented than women from the states. I date pretend to like them only to get to me. Once I let them in they change. So that's my reason for being here. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I'm here for the same thing!

[RussianWind]

Hoping to learn and finally meet that one perfect woman

Brilliant. Then this is for you 

A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married ?

Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman ... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl."

"Oh, come on now," said the friend, "Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry."

"Yes, there was one girl .. once. I guess she was the one perfect girl .. the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything .. I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me."

"Well, why didn't you marry her," asked the friend.

"She was looking for the perfect man," he said. 

Hello everybody 

[tfcrew]

Define 'perfect'

[Misha]

"Well, why didn't you marry her," asked the friend.

"She was looking for the perfect man," he said. 

Hello everybody 

 

Welcome to RWD!

[JR]

LOL RuskieWind

Agency Hype!!!!

RW more family oriented: no more, no less....

What you get is this:

A few pounds lighter (ok, maybe more than a few, at least at first)

A few years younger.

A few steps up the ladder in the looks department from what you may be used to.

Other than that people are people pretty much where-ever you go.

[LAman]

Hi all, Another new guy here. So I guess first a little about me. I am here because I have been doing a lot of research and it seems that women from Russia and the Ukraine are more family oriented than women from the states. My last two relationships haven't panned out because the women changed. I have children that live with me full time and it seems as if the women I date pretend to like them only to get to me. Once I let them in they change. So that's my reason for being here. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Actually, I would go a little different from many here. There is some truth to the 'family oriented" so called myth.
Much of my experience is in ukraine (3 years) I have seen the closeness in families somewhat different than in US.  The man works and stay home wife raises the kids......and men aren't allowed in the kitchen( I was thrown out several times).;-)) Most families in USA have both parents working to make ends meet. Maybe because of more influence from the west in fall of SU , FSU countries may become more like the west. It would be interesting to hear other peoples views.

[groovlstk]

I have seen the closeness in families somewhat different than in US.  The man works and stay home wife raises the kids......and men aren't allowed in the kitchen( I was thrown out several times).;-)) Most families in USA have both parents working to make ends meet.

In all my travels to Ukraine and Russia, I never met a stay-at-home mom. ALL the women I communicated with and met, even those living at home with parents, worked.

I would agree that, in general, Russian and Ukrainian women have stronger family ties than Western women, but this didn't evolve out of some difference in character but because of economic necessity.

[OlgaH]

After the Revolution one of the the main ideas of liberation of women was - a woman who was a Soviet worker with a high record in work productivity! and the Communist state started to open the kindergartens. There even were the day nurseries for 1 year old children so women could return to their jobs as soon as possible. There was not so many stay home moms during the Soviet time only Mothers-heroes (mothers of many children - the builders of Communism  in the future   ) But some mothers-heroes also preferred to work, the kindergartens for their children were free.

Some Soviet posters







Glory to a mother-hero

Most families in USA have both parents working to make ends meet.

The same in Russia or Ukraine or elsewhere  

[Daveman]

Actually, I would go a little different from many here. There is some truth to the 'family oriented" so called myth.
Much of my experience is in ukraine (3 years) I have seen the closeness in families somewhat different than in US.  The man works and stay home wife raises the kids......and men aren't allowed in the kitchen( I was thrown out several times).;-)) Most families in USA have both parents working to make ends meet. Maybe because of more influence from the west in fall of SU , FSU countries may become more like the west. It would be interesting to hear other peoples views.

I'm with Groov (and olga) on this one.  I haven't encountered stay at home mom's at all during my travels and extended visits. I'm sure they (no doubt) exist, but not really the norm from my perspective.  Now, there IS a stronger family bond between generational and extended family members (parents/grandparents/children/blah blah) but this appears to be mostly related to blood ties. Of course, husband/wife are not blood relatives and it seems that aspect, which would be directly related to the thrust of this board, is not much different there than here.  Some men or women are very devoted to his/her significant other while others aren't.  Not much different than anywhere else in the world. The divorce rates here and there are pretty much the same.  All that being said, if anyone expects a RW to be devoted to "family" meaning YOU just because she's Russian is in for a big surprise.  Take nationality/culture out of that equation completely --- bottom line is individual man/individual woman ---- Know thyself; Know thy partner.

[RussianWind]

After the Revolution one of the the main ideas of liberation of women was - a woman who was a Soviet worker with a high record in work productivity!

Yeah... and before the revolution they had governesses, were learning French, music and good manners.

I am more lucky than you. My sister keeps an eye on three kids and my friend doesn't work too taking care of two their sons. So they do exist

[OlgaH]

Yeah... and before the revolution they had governesses, were learning French, music and good manners.

Not all women had such the luxury life as you described... not before the Revolution, not after... not today.   Of course, it is much easy today with learning French, music and good manners especially if you have a desire...   

[Blues Fairy]

Yeah... and before the revolution they had governesses, were learning French, music and good manners.

I learned French, music and good manners and ended up working full-time jobs.  

[LAman]

When I spoke of stay at home Mums, it was mostly ones that didn't or worked only while kids were in school. With no kids of course they worked.......we are talking 12-14 hour days. They didn't work to pay mortgage or car payments or flat sceen TV's, it was to help pay rent and put food on table. I didn't see too many married couples living with parents very long. The divorce rates are same as everywhere. Only trouble is many divorced mums have/had problems finding a man...seems the FSU men are always interested in younger women. I have been told many married men have girlfriends on the side, which brings up a thought I had at one time.......where did these girls get the money for all their clothing, fancy shoes, handbags and cell phones? Only from western men? ;-))

[RussianWind]

Not all women had such the luxury life as you described...

Of course, don't take my words too literally.
But not every woman tried to become a second Pasha Angelina, a hero tractor woman  We had too high level of propaganda that time and sometimes they created heros who actually wasn't.

[Gator]

Only trouble is many divorced mums have/had problems finding a man...seems the FSU men are always interested in younger women.

Heard the same from many RW.  Yet the pretty 40-yo still gets plenty of attention from RM as do pretty divorcees.  Marriage is another issue.

I have been told many married men have girlfriends on the side, which brings up a thought I had at one time.......where did these girls get the money for all their clothing, fancy shoes, handbags and cell phones? Only from western men? ;-))

Sponsorship (aka Sugar Daddy) certainly occurs.  However, before you conclude all single/divorced RW are 'kept' women because of their "clothing, fancy shoes, handbags" you need to examine their closet.  Indeed many RW wear designer fashions; however, many have only 1-3 such outfits.  In other words, they save their limited cash and purchase something special rather than buy a quantity of lower priced clothing.  In 2002 I spent several days with one woman who wore the same Italian blouse everyday.   

[OlgaH]

Of course, don't take my words too literally.

No, I don't. I just added some reality to your words   So our Western friends wound be confused. There are already enough myths about traditional RWs.    

But not every woman tried to become a second Pasha Angelina, a hero tractor woman  

of course not  

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