RW was not into me and I did not pursue her anymore

[jamesbond]

I met this RW last year around this of September. I was separated and divorcing from my wife. I was lonely . I saw her on the internet , fell in love with her picture or the face , we corresponed almost daily. I phoned her almost every day. I decided to see her and planned to meet in Italy but when she could not get visa . I flew her to Dominicana. In Dominicana, I was expecting a romantic, erotic and fun holiday between the 2 of us. The first 3 days were good and fun. But I was hurt when she would not have sex with me. I got confused and little bit irritated since I was emailing her that we would have a romantic and erotic holiday.  She is not a conservative type. She even told me on a dinner that she fucked a spanish guy after meeting him in the bar bringing her into the apartment and the next day she woke up with her. She would tell me this while I could not fuck her after spending like $ 4000 (tickets, sending her gifts and money) without even meeting her in person. 2 nights before we leave, when we were drunk, she danced provacatively with another guy and would not really dance with me. I got angry and grabbed her (I regret it since it's too ungentleman of me). When we got back to the hotel, I confronted her . She offered me to have sex with her. But I was drunk, jealous, and angry ---- I refused it. I told her I am not going to pursue her since it's obvious she is not into me and she attracted to me physically (I am 6 ft tall Asian, with lot of muscles but had a 40 inch. belly). Anyway, since then till she went to Russia, she seemed to be irritated with me and I think I hurt her ego when I said I would not pursue her. My ego is BRUISED too. When I was in the twenties and early thirties, I was a  playboy. I am always financially good having own a successful business, live in New York and travels a lot. I actually planned to sponsor K1 visa for her.
Anyway, I went back to US, she went back to Russia. After 2 months, I posted her to scammers list which I regret.... really regret it .

[JR]

Sorry to hear about this. You got used. You are on the rebound and need time to fis yourself after the divorce. You need to date casually in your own turf and let yourself heal for awhile. Don't think of anything serious for a few years.

[groovlstk]

I met this RW last year around this of September. I was separated and divorcing from my wife. I was lonely . I saw her on the internet , fell in love with her picture or the face , we corresponed almost daily. I phoned her almost every day. I decided to see her and planned to meet in Italy but when she could not get visa . I flew her to Dominicana. In Dominicana, I was expecting a romantic, erotic and fun holiday between the 2 of us. The first 3 days were good and fun. But I was hurt when she would not have sex with me. I got confused and little bit irritated since I was emailing her that we would have a romantic and erotic holiday.  She is not a conservative type. She even told me on a dinner that she *snip*ed a spanish guy after meeting him in the bar bringing her into the apartment and the next day she woke up with her. She would tell me this while I could not *snip* her after spending like $ 4000 (tickets, sending her gifts and money) without even meeting her in person. 2 nights before we leave, when we were drunk, she danced provacatively with another guy and would not really dance with me. I got angry and grabbed her (I regret it since it's too ungentleman of me). When we got back to the hotel, I confronted her . She offered me to have sex with her. But I was drunk, jealous, and angry ---- I refused it. I told her I am not going to pursue her since it's obvious she is not into me and she attracted to me physically (I am 6 ft tall Asian, with lot of muscles but had a 40 inch. belly). Anyway, since then till she went to Russia, she seemed to be irritated with me and I think I hurt her ego when I said I would not pursue her. My ego is BRUISED too. When I was in the twenties and early thirties, I was a  playboy. I am always financially good having own a successful business, live in New York and travels a lot. I actually planned to sponsor K1 visa for her.
Anyway, I went back to US, she went back to Russia. After 2 months, I posted her to scammers list which I regret.... really regret it .

Next time use Craiglist to find a local hooker, you won't have to spend as much money or worry about a BRUISED ego.

[Faux Pas]

Dude's story isn't one of being used, just another train wreck where guy falls in love with a picture and totally forgetting reality. They met and neither was apparently what the other expected. I would think this happens much more than we hear about and we do hear about some.

[Daveman]

Interesting first post James.  It can happen.  JR is correct. Get yourself together before pursuing anyone else after a divorce. Just have fun and date.  

Dates. You pretty much have to consider these first meetings as just that. A first meeting and dating.  Very expensive first dates and you have to be willing to lose the money, or blow money for nothing (however you want to look at it) as chances are it won't go as you envisioned in that dreamy pre-trip world of fantasy.  Of course many FSU ladies would jump at the chance for a trip to Italy, or Dominicana, or wherever.  Free trips.  She might not have been a scammer, but she could have been/be a trip addict. Who knows?  Your attitude seems a little off beat.. like the woman owes you something.  It is easy to think so but really, it's a first date. She did show up so she did her part. If nothing "happened" between you, whatever that is, then that's the way this venture goes sometimes.  

anyway, better luck in the future and welcome to the board.  

[Sculpto]

You know.. i just checked myself.. I was about to swing a big clue bat..

so.. to soften up my message.. to the OP.. paying for a vacation for a pretty young girl does not give you the right to have sex with her.. putting her on the scam list was really rotten, I kind of hope she returns the favor.

[Ade]

You know.. i just checked myself.. I was about to swing a big clue bat..

so.. to soften up my message.. to the OP.. paying for a vacation for a pretty young girl does not give you the right to have sex with her.. putting her on the scam list was really rotten, I kind of hope she returns the favor.

I agree. The guy is an idiot, an aggressive idiot too. Men should not assume that they have the right to have sex with a woman, any woman. And I would not assume that she's a scammer/GTG either; maybe she just didn't feel any chemistry with this guy when they met, who knows, certainly I wouldn't put any credence into that guys judgement based on his post.

Again, what a plonker.

And to the OP, if you regret putting her on a scammers list, get her taken off. Idiot. 

[Shadow]

I guess that is why a first meeting should not be in an exotic holiday location.
Guy feels he spend money on her being there so he can claim all rights.
When he finds there is no attraction from her side, he decides she is a scammer, and in the best case some time after regrets it.

I have to ahat if expect sex just because you paid money to meet a woman, better get a prostitute.

[Johnny2009]

I think "plonker" is being very, very kind!!

His logic suggests that because he pays for the holiday the lady belongs to him for the duration, until idiots like this understand the FSU women are not objects to be brought by anyone with a little spare cash, I suggest that there is no hope for him.

And note to Mr Bond, I hope you have taken her off the scammers list??????

Also Mr Bond if this is the extent to the drivel that you wish to inflict on us, please make your first post the last!!

You got what you deserved, NOTHING!

[remiel6]

umm... sex is a privilege not a right. and if you went looking for a hooker then that is one thing if you went looking for a future companion then this is not really the way to go. I think you need to to take some time to get over the divorce emotionally and then rethink an endeavor like this. 

[GoodOlBoy]

She would tell me this while I could not *snip* her after spending like $ 4000 (tickets, sending her gifts and money) without even meeting her in person.

$4000. you say?

You actually got off pretty cheap.

Hell, I spent a lot more than $4000. on my first trip to Moscow (almost 6 years ago). :evil:

Just curious JB.....What is your age??.......Hers??

Look guy, you definitely need an "attitude adjustment" when it comes to having a healthy relationship with women.

No amount of money spent "entitles" you to intimate relations with any woman (unless she is a prostitute).

If you continue to chase FSUW, read the RWD 10 Commandments:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?pid=2

Personally, I hope you don't pursue them.


GOB


PS...I almost forgot.....Welcome to RWD Jamesbond.

[JR]

Men should not assume that they have the right to have sex with a woman, any woman.

Sheesh, are you all idiots? I take a woman to Micky-D's and she damn well better put out!

DISCLAIMER: That is a joke, k?

[Gator]

Men should not assume that they have the right to have sex with a woman, any woman.

Are you forgetting the English nobleman's decree of Prima Nocta?

[jamesbond]

Well, I went over my head ... inviting this girl to exotic trip. However, she did implied or expressed intimacy  when I spoke or wrote about having a romantic holiday which includes sexual intimacy. I am 40 , she is 25. Maybe, I haven't accepted the fact that  I look different from what I used to look when I was younger. Yes, I already pulled her out from the scammer's list but there is one site --- agencyscams.net and that site keeps ignoring my request to have her removed . She knows that I have been removing her from the scam's site  and we're now civil to each other. I apologized for putting her on the internet. It was my mistake and I did not all these sites/forums about russian women....I could have a different judgement. After being married, I guess I forgot some fair courtship rules . I forgot that concept "all is  fair  in love and war" which means that the holiday did not turn out good and I should have moved on and forget about it and didn't feel sorry. I felt ashamed of myself for having this poor judgement ....investing a lot in a woman I never met and thinking I already own her. It's a learning experience ....after being married for many years. Now I am divorced I have to be careful and protect myself and be fair to others.

[Shadow]

Perhaps if you try  next time you can travel to her country and meet the woman there.
That way if it does not work out you do not have to stay around and can explore other options.

[Gator]

Well, I went over my head ... inviting this girl to exotic trip. However, she did implied or expressed intimacy  when I spoke or wrote about having a romantic holiday which includes sexual intimacy. I am 40 , she is 25. Maybe, I haven't accepted the fact that  I look different from what I used to look when I was younger. Yes, I already pulled her out from the scammer's list but there is one site --- agencyscams.net and that site keeps ignoring my request to have her removed . She knows that I have been removing her from the scam's site  and we're now civil to each other. I apologized for putting her on the internet. It was my mistake and I did not all these sites/forums about russian women....I could have a different judgement. After being married, I guess I forgot some fair courtship rules . I forgot that concept "all is  fair  in love and war" which means that the holiday did not turn out good and I should have moved on and forget about it and didn't feel sorry. I felt ashamed of myself for having this poor judgement ....investing a lot in a woman I never met and thinking I already own her. It's a learning experience ....after being married for many years. Now I am divorced I have to be careful and protect myself and be fair to others.

We all make mistakes and yours was a doozy, really immature.  Your expectaions were too high and unwarranted.  However, the manner in which you corrected the mistake and changed your attitude shows that there is hope for you.   

So give it another try.  Fresh start with a new woman.  Just file away this experience and make sure next time is different (woman and you).

[RussianWind]

She just found out that he wasn't James Bond

[JR]

Good for you for admitting to your mistakes and taking your lumps. You're doing the right thing by apologizing and removing her from the sites.

[jamesbond]

Actually, she is not that "innocent" . Even before I flew her she had been bothering me to send money to her travel agency .Below is the excerpts from her email. After reading scams stories after our trip, I was right about not pursuing her. I don't blame her if her initial motive was green card or the chance to  marry a wealthy one, however, she is was not too trusting telling me that she needs to see divorce papers before we could be intimate. She did offer to have sex during our confrontation, but I refused since I got hurt. I am not concerned about money I spent ---- I think I got hurt because I did invested a lot of time and affections and my ego was hurt.

Actually, I am glad it happpened because it challenge me to lose weights. I lost 40 pounds since then . My 40 waistline is now 36. I am 6 feet tall. And I am enjoying my bachelorhood again... 40 years old, 3 boy kids, with a growing business, travels a lot, living in New York, bought a new townhouse, leased a jaguar convertible 4 days after my return from Dominicana, playing guitar and learning to play piano.  Nobody nags at me -----now I am divorced. I own my time. I AM FREE.
 
Here's the email she sent to me before trip .
"

1500 EURO * 36,9 (Russian bank couse)+3 %=57011 RUB for today.

Is for two of us without ur tickets. My visa is included and insurance too. They said u dont need visa u r fm USA! Only insurance u need and passport and tickets afcause!

Tour fm 4th till 11th! Without tour Italians will not give me visa! Thats it.

Im sick about everything anfd now dont want go even to Italy. My schedule here is wild I need somehow get all papers fm work and fm place I saty+place where is my registration ! I just dont have time till This Monday. Elena said everything booked and this price she gave me is only for today untill 9pm! Now is almost 8 so tomorrow mayb no more plane on 4th! LOL
  " 

[BrightDawn]

I felt ashamed of myself for having this poor judgement ....investing a lot in a woman I never met and thinking I already own her. It's a learning experience ....after being married for many years. Now I am divorced I have to be careful and protect myself and be fair to others.

You can never "own" another person. I'd work on getting that idea out of your head.

[jamesbond]

True...I realized that a  long time ago that you can never own a person no matter what....actually, I was still respectful of her space when we were together.....never tried to rape her.

[MatryoshkaMan]

Jamesbond you rub me the wrong way and your attitude stinks. By the way Russian women rarely go for Asian men. Sorry to tell you that. Hate to bust your fantasy..

[jamesbond]

I realized that...russian are racists since it's closed society for a long time. I dated AW, British, Sweedish, and when I was living in New Zealand I dated a number of NZ and Australian, I dated blacks too......those were days when I was in the twenties. She made some racist remarks that's why I think she is just in for GC and money.

[Johnny2009]

I realized that...russian are racists since it's closed society for a long time. I dated AW, British, Sweedish, and when I was living in New Zealand I dated a number of NZ and Australian, I dated blacks too......those were days when I was in the twenties. She made some racist remarks that's why I think she is just in for GC and money.

Hi
I won't be critical, but I think its best not to play the race card for any problems you have had! It did'nt work out for you the first time, pick yourself up and try again!

I feel your last quote is going to get a few replies, I would brace yourself for whats coming when other members see your posts!

[Shadow]

Yep no way Asians can find anyone in Russa.

As for racism, Russians are lucky not to have the concept of being PC. This is often perceived as racism.