Hi! -- from Ludmila

[Ludmila]

Hi, folks!
let me introduce myself. My name's Ludmila.Been here on this board for more than 6 months. Been reading( not posting) your  discussions, debates, sparring, a rrrrrrreally entertaining thread on "ambach", as well as mutually supportive emails. A few words ab myself:

My native city: Moscow.
Profession: a highly qualified professional
Live in PA
Happily married to an AM-- a fairly successful marriage of more than 5 years.
Age difference with my man: 0 years.
Our communication format was: WO, VO.
Consider myself knowledgeable ( within the framework of my personal  social, intellectual,emotional and professional  experience).
I chose my verbal battles.
Consider myself more articulate in English than more than a few American ladies I have met here in US.
Obstacles that are hard ( and, in all probability,impossible) for me to negotiate--American communication format( in a wide sense of the word) in all its entirety and fullness-- with all its pluses and minuses.


For starts, my first questions to you are :

1." What, in your opinion, are the reasons for networking in American society"
2. Is networking a blessing or a curse for personal freedoms of an individual?
3. Rules of functioning within a network ( please, share, what are the unwritten rules).
4. Can one be successful without networking.

 I will appreciate input from both ladies and gents. Thanks.

[2tallbill]

Добро пожаловать Людочка!

Welcome to the Forum

Maybe if you explained what networking means to you it would
make your questions easier to answer. Does networking mean
calling up your peers when you are looking for work? or does
networking mean to sell Amway? or does networking mean that
every part of your life is available on the internet?

Welcome again to the forum.
Udachi
Bill

[groovlstk]

Welcome, Ludmilla.

Do you mean networking as it's used professionally? (As in helping your career by forging relationships with people throughout your industry?)

My wife is also from Moscow, and a few months ago she was out of work and a friend invited her to a networking event at a restaurant in Manhattan. She thought she'd be able to meet fellow professionals but instead it was more like a singles event. Some guys even handed her business card back when she told them she was married

[Shadow]

Welcome Ludmila, I hope you will enjoy the verbal exchanges here.

[tfcrew]

1." What, in your opinion, are the reasons for networking in American society"
2. Is networking a blessing or a curse for personal freedoms of an individual?.........3, 4

Welcome..
My only understanding concerning networks is ABC, CBS, NBC or PBS.

[JR]

Welcome and you're welcome for Ambach

[Ludmila]

Thanks for the feedback, fellas!

Is it Ok to be informal so soon? That American males aren't so stuffy as your West European colleagues wasn't a revelation to me.Yet,  anyway,it was nice to read ( and behold) your welcoming words.

 2tall Billy,I already like you, even if you are a shorty ( I was watching your video a la S. Cubric with baited breath. BTW, were you "saved", eventually? or...?)

Guys, I am sorry, if I unintentionally left you in doubt whether by "networking" I  could possibly mean something in the spirit of "a group of transmitting stations linked by   wire or microwave relay so that the same program   can be telecast by all...".

I'll try and clarify......mmmm, something close to " a supportive system of sharing info and services among individuals and groups having a common interest". That kinda stuff. Thanks.

[viking]

Maybe something like a photo club where those involved share common interests? Or perhaps some type of society organization of say..medical professionals who also go outside their own membership to interface with others who share some kind of commonality?

[Faux Pas]

Welcome Ludmilla!

Networking with others to achieve a common goal is completely fine to start right away (usually) whether it is for personal or professional goals. Networking in both instances is usually for the sharing of information and should be encouraged.

Networking is required in my professional life and I found that it bleeds over from there into my personal life. I would highly recommend you to network in both aspects of your life JMPO

[Ludmila]

That's my point FAUX PAS. People's circle of friends is infrequently their professional circle ( once I  witnessed a guy's birthday, when all the "friends" were his clients or sub-contractors, etc giving him their "sincere" birthday greetings). The superficial impression was that there were a lot of people and fun going on, but upon closer look.......It is clear, once he is out of business,the number of enthusiasts will be much smaller. I would be  more than a little unhappy to call these people my friends...... Friendly clients-- yes, but friends... Or is it part of the American idea of close friends?

In general, I have to say, although Americans are friendly and meaning well, AW  are very reserved, with an air of superiority ( albeit aren't ashamed of e.g. their very poor grammar in their native language). The communication doesn't go deeper than "how are you" " it's a gorgeous day today", etc. I watched people topics: usually general, meaningless smalltalk. It's BORING ! Is it because they don't have much to say or it isn't customary to talk, exchange opinions on a broad range of themes with a Russian lady ? Or, may be they are jealous of attention? or may be all of the above? or, may be,  i am  at a loss. Please, advise. Thanks.

[possum]

Ludmila, in the US people generally have two kinds of friends - good or close friends and just friends.. A friend could be a friendly co-worker, or a convenience store clerk that you make small talk with on a daily basis.. But a good friend is someone you trust with your secrets and know you can rely on them in times of trouble.. I'm surprised you haven't caught on yet..

[possum]

Forgot to add that most young folks have BFFs now, which stands for best friends forever, or best f@#$ing friends.. I think you're only allowed to have one..

Also, in the Italian Mob, when someone is introduced as a 'friend of mine', it means they are non-essential and expendable, while a 'friend of ours' is always a made guy, i.e. part of the mafia..

[Ludmila]

Hi, mousie! And thanks for enlightment. I do know the difference, though. Thnks again. Do you think the following subjects fall out of format:

1. Burning issues of G-20 ( talking with University graduates) They don't show interest whatsoever.

2. Tried to discuss the notion of Trinity with ladies who claimed to be deeeply  into  religion. They seemed to really strain themselves . Then they said "they were not sure", then "wondered why I bother to think about it, does it really matter that much" then said they had to go, cause they were busy"....

I almost gave up on AW.

[Misha]

AW  are very reserved, with an air of superiority ( albeit aren't ashamed of e.g. their very poor grammar in their native language). The communication doesn't go deeper than "how are you" " it's a gorgeous day today", etc.

I am curious. If you were in Russia, would you stop every cleaning lady or repairman and insist on having them sit down with you and having a long heart to heart conversation  :evil: I can't speak of life in the United States, but I know that in Canada, as in Russia, you have different types of friends and acquaintances. Some are dear friends that you will share everything with, others are merely acquaintances. I don't really see much of a difference in Russia, though people tend to move less in their lifetimes and accumulate friends from school, their university years, and work so it appears as if life is much more "social." In North America, people often move more often and much farther, so you end up having good friends scattered over the country and the globe.

[Alex from Ukraine]

I still have a feeling we are talking about Amway here )))) hmmm... and I bet Ludmila is American men playing around )))

[possum]

Hi, mousie! And thanks for enlightment. I do know the difference, though. Thnks again. Do you think the following subjects fall out of format:

1. Burning issues of G-20 ( talking with University graduates) They don't show interest whatsoever.

Understandable.. not a very exciting topic, unless you're into summits which there seems to be a lot of them these days..

2. Tried to discuss the notion of Trinity with ladies who claimed to be deeeply  into  religion. They seemed to really strain themselves . Then they said "they were not sure", then "wondered why I bother to think about it, does it really matter that much" then said they had to go, cause they were busy"....

I almost gave up on AW.

Were they protestant by any chance?.

[Ludmila]

No, Misha, I would like to believe I have enough commonsense and life experience  to tell between  social groups and their respective range of interests. Thanks for your clarifications and advice. I have read your post a couple of times. Kudos! I enjoyed your style, but above all, I enjoyed your skills of a text analyst ! Thanks.

To Alex: What's Amway? Is it something like a "Salvation Army" ?

[Ludmila]

Were they protestant by any chance?

Oh, no, mousie. They were very friendly. Simply didn't show any interest IN ANY TOPIC whatsoever (except, perhapse, recipies or how to lose weight) .

[possum]

No, I meant their denomination.. Protestant as opposed to Catholic, for example..

[Ludmila]

They were Protestant, Possum. Does it differ from denomination to denomination? As is known,Trinity issue is crucial for the  understanding of  Christian philosophy and values system. One of the central , most complicated, contraversial notions.

[possum]

They were Protestant, Possum. Does it differ from denomination to denomination? As is known,Trinity issue is crucial for the  understanding of  Christian philosophy and values system. One of the central , most complicated, contraversial notions.

While the concept of Trinity is present in all traditional Christian denominations, it is not the centerpiece of the Protestant faith, Christ is.. Unlike Russian Orthodox believers, Protestants do not pray to the Trinity, they almost always pray to God the Father in the name of Jesus Christ.. 

[Ludmila]

[quote Alex] :  and I bet Ludmila is American men playing around  [/quote]

To Alex: Alex, I am not American men. Will I upset you if I say I am not a man,( as opposed to men) ?
I should think, commercial member status makes you closer to playing around. I may be wrong.  

[Ludmila]

Possum,  I value your thoughts. May I reply tomorrow on the subject of Trinity, if I may. Russians don't pray to Trinity, Possum. The notion of Trinity and Christ are inseparable. But let us continue tomorrow, for it is way too late.
This discussion and topic is  vast. Talk to you tomorrow, my friend.

[I/O]

While the concept of Trinity is present in all traditional Christian denominations, it is not the centerpiece of the Protestant faith, Christ is.. Unlike Russian Orthodox believers, Protestants do not pray to the Trinity, they almost always pray to God the Father in the name of Jesus Christ.. 

Ummmmmmmmmm, not quite in fact very not quite but that's not important. May I sound a warning bell. Long ago on RWD it was generally thought this subject to be better left alone unless it specifically related to advising a particular person involved in a particular relationship where there was lack of understanding affecting that relationship. Your call, but be sure this one will go pear shaped very quickly.

Simply didn't show any interest IN ANY TOPIC whatsoever (except, perhapse, recipies or how to lose weight) .

How to feed their husbands and how to look better for him? Ah we have these girls trained well. 

[possum]

Ummmmmmmmmm, not quite in fact very not quite but that's not important.

Well, sure some Protestants do pray to Jesus himself, I'm aware of that..