What women want - - but what do I know!!

[Mars]

In a TR thread Daveman made a statement and I posted a follow on.  Maybe this is worth another thread where the women here gave their say and the men speak their impressions gained from women they have met.

Daveman:  Or so much about the size of your belly either. I fluctuate between ideal weight and carrying an extra 10-20lbs on an annual basis.. at this moment I have about an extra 15lbs (due in large part, pun intended, to being fed to death by an RW).  I don't think it has caused any real problems attracting FSU ladies,

Mars: I found it interesting  that most of the FSU women I met gave some indication they preferred the man to be a little above average in weight.  Not saying they liked rolling fat, but just a little above average.  I think this ties back in history to thinking a man's weight is positively correlated with his wealth, status, etc.  That was the thinking in USA back in 1920s, 1930s, etc.

I have a small pot gut that I am always trying to get rid of.  When I mention this to the FSUW, they mostly all smiled, patted my belly and said:  "Oh it is good!"

In one situation, I set-up on a date a FSUW that I knew on a friendship only basis, with a WM.  They were close in age, education, etc.  The guy liked her quite a bit, but she later told me she couldn't really see herself in a LT relationship with the guy.  Her biggest complaint . . . . He was too thin!! Second, he was too young; even though they were the same age (early 40s)!

Height is also a concern with FSUW.  One lady told me of going on a trip with a group of friends where one man had been invited by others, specifically to be her companion.  They all had a great time but she couldn't see herself in LT relationship with the man.  The problem . . . he was a couple inches shorter than herself.  I think this situation is not specific to FSU women however; probably a universal with women.

Another follow on from Mars:

Forgot to mention also what I heard from several FSU women concerning looks of the guy and gal.  Their comments were along the lines that the man should always be with a woman who is better looking than him; never with a woman who is not as good looking as him.

This is good for guys like me who are not nearly 10s!!

One woman was actually very upset that her mid 30s brother was thinking of marrying a women who was not as good looking as him.  She said it just wasn't right and good for the family (her extended family).  It was going to be the second marriage for both.

Another thought - - if the man is always supposed to be with a woman who is better looking than himself - - then isn't this a big problem for the men who are genuine 10s?

[JR]

Sigmund Freud, the master of modern psychology,  died trying to figure out women....

"Men mostly want sex, woman want the right to be hypocritical, yet call men on their inconsistencies." 

1. Women want men who exhibit confidence (or power)

2. Women want men with a sense of humor (fun)

3. Women want men with money or the things money can buy (sense of security)

4. Women want men with looks (protection and attraction)

5. Women want men with a bit of "Bad boy" qualities (mysterious and independent/strong)

6. Women want all the other stuff they typically list (varies - sensitive, caring, etc.)


PS This is from an article I found by googling "what women want" so don't flame me

[Taz]

I'll chime in hear and I am sure we can bring the kettle up to a roiling boil! This could easily turn out like the fat thread I started a while ago. ;-)

I am currently not what I'd consider skinny though I am well off my high weight. The women I've dated have never mentioned they'd like me to lose weight even when I was pretty big. The woman I am involved with did say that if she met me at my max weight she probably wouldn't have been as likely to go out with me. At my current weight (about 20 lbs over my ideal) she thinks I am very attractive.

At the same time she says that couples should have a harmonious appearance. Since she is slender, she wants to gain weight so that we will look better together. I disagreed with that approach and will try to shed a few more pounds. Long term it is much healthier for me to lose weight than for her to gain it.

While she clearly wants a strong man, she is touched by my sensitive side and says it is very touching how I interact with kids and animals. She definitely appreciates that I am a leader but in general still am willing to receive counsel from the people around me.

She definitely appreciates my sense of humor and that it translates well into Russian but at the same time I am serious about the things that I need to be.

I am not too nice so as to be boring but at the same time I am usually not a total Richard.

Of all the women I've dated in my life, I am probably the closest to her ideal man of any woman I've been involved with. From my perspective she is pretty amazing but not without faults/quirks. A perfect woman/man would be boring I think. I think the difficult part is not to be too boring (perfect) and at the same time not too boorish in the sort of rude, crude, socially unacceptable way that most RW find to be a turn-off.

I think in many ways what a lot of RW want from a man was obvious in the lyrics of the song "Takovo kak Putin" (one like Putin [as in the former Prez of Russia]). A RW does appreciate a strong man without a doubt. Can't forget the fact most don't like their men to have harmful habits such as drinking, drugs or gambling either. RW seem to place a lot of importance on status too. Although that may be because it has a direct reflection usually on your ability to provide for a family.

A RW I was just starting to date asked me what kind of car I drove. I told her an Acura. She had no idea what brand it was. She asked me if it was a "name brand" such as Audi, BMW, etc. I told her it was like Lexus. Her eyes lit up immediately. It was pretty obvious to me she had too much of an appreciation for the finer things in life as her entire demeanor toward me changed albeit in a subtle yet obvious way. Definitely more of the gold digger type. I wasn't about to tell her about any other cars in the garage that was for sure.

My current relationship (and I hope last) doesn't seem to have an emphasis on money at all. She told her mom after we first started dating that I was poor. Not dirt poor but poor enough. She didn't want her mom or family to think she was with me for financial reasons. It had nothing to do with finances, only feelings. So for the longest time her mom was concerned how could I potentially support a family or was I borrowing money to come visit her like she heard about from other people. Well I had the pleasure to spend almost a month being around her mother (and her of course too) and I'll just say momma has very few concerns about our relationship now. I think she figured out that I can provide for a family and has the qualities her daughter needs in a man.

Maybe some day I might right a TR about a very all encompassing experience that I don't think I'd like to try again in the short term. It was an incredible learning experience. I spent almost a month with my woman in close proximity to her mom and with mom and another couple thrown into the mix. I definitely did learn a lot about what values get passed down from mother to daughter and how that shapes what a woman expects from a relationship. It was probably the closest interaction of that type I've ever witnessed. Thankfully my Russian ability was up to the task to get most of the nuances.

[Rina_G]

Sigmund Freud, the master of modern psychology,  died trying to figure out women....

"Men mostly want sex, woman want the right to be hypocritical, yet call men on their inconsistencies." 

1. Women want men who exhibit confidence (or power)

2. Women want men with a sense of humor (fun)

3. Women want men with money or the things money can buy (sense of security)

4. Women want men with looks (protection and attraction)

5. Women want men with a bit of "Bad boy" qualities (mysterious and independent/strong)

6. Women want all the other stuff they typically list (varies - sensitive, caring, etc.)


PS This is from an article I found by googling "what women want" so don't flame me

Thanks very fun but not P.S.
It's so fun for me to speak about all men or all women.
It's like to tell about one weather around all world.

[Gator]

I am currently not what I'd consider skinny though I am well off my high weight. The women I've dated have never mentioned they'd like me to lose weight even when I was pretty big. The woman I am involved with did say that if she met me at my max weight she probably wouldn't have been as likely to go out with me. At my current weight (about 20 lbs over my ideal) she thinks I am very attractive.

 
My experience is similar. A picture is worth a 1000 words.  This photo was taken of me 3(?) years ago in Turkey.  My wife was complaining then that I was too "skinny." 

Since marriage I have gained 30 lbs (13-14 kg) on a 6' frame (183 cm).  She prefers me now!!!!!  However, she wants me to build up my skinny arms and legs (which at my age don't gain weight).

What is it with these RW?  They strive to be slender and want their men big.  RM tend to carry more extra weight (as a percentage of body weight) than RW.

I am not happy with the new me, particularly my prominent belly.  Don't ask, there will be no current photos.  I keep thinking about losing the wieight, yet inertia and wife's complacency are winning.  My family physician will scold me when I see her, and perhaps that will get me going in the healthy direction.

[Rina_G]

thanks Gator!
 

[myrddin]

Since marriage I have gained 30 lbs (13-14 kg) on a 6' frame (183 cm).  She prefers me now!!!!!  However, she wants me to build up my skinny arms and legs (which at my age don't gain weight).

What is it with these RW?  They strive to be slender and want their men big.

My lady seems to have no problem with my extra weight in the midsection (maybe 15 pounds now) and actually seemed concerned that I plan to lose that too. 

She does have some ideas about where to concentrate my weightlifting efforts to build muscle.  Hardly demands, but she does have ways to motivate... 

As for what women want in general, I have no idea.  From some things I've seen, I suspect many of them are confused also (though less so in the FSU than the West).  I'd rather tackle an easier problem, like faster-than-light travel.

 In any case, my concern now is what one particular woman wants, and I only have one lifetime to figure that out!

[yarm]

Have those of you who essentially say Russian women like their men a bit chubby ever been on the other side and see how they react to a muscular body with ripped abs? I'm just sayin... 

[Mars]

Have those of you who essentially say Russian women like their men a bit chubby ever been on the other side and see how they react to a muscular body with ripped abs? I'm just sayin... 

Certainly no one would seriously debate idea that women like well toned bodies, the same as men.

But that was not the point.  The point was, given a thin man or a man with a little more heft, which do they seem to prefer.

[Son of Clyde]

Some FSU women go for the hefty guys.

To me a guy who spends 8 hours a day at the gym is more into himself than any woman.

I used to go to a gym and I would be getting ready to leave and see guys looking in the mirror and flexing their muscles. If I did that, there would not be anyone around watching me.

These guys needed an audience. I would lift what I could handle, but these body builder types would pile on the weights as long as there was a crowd to watch them.
 
FSU women prefer men in good shape, but I don't think a few extra pounds would matter. It's more about who you are as a person.

Mi wife would die to meet Michael Douglas or Micky Roarke and neither has a perfect physique.

[2tallbill]

Sigmund Freud, the master of modern psychology,  died trying to figure out women....

jb once said (paraphrased by me)

"there are 147 known theories about women, and they are ALL wrong"

[JR]

one particular woman wants, and I only have one lifetime to figure that out!

Good Luck

[SunnyAK]

As long as you don't let those 15 extra pounds to gradually turn into 50 (figuratively speaking), you are fine.

...Micky Rourke and neither has a perfect physique

Have you seen him in The Wrestler?

[Dave13]

You don't have to spend 8 hours a day in the gym to stay in shape, if you have a good workout plan it can be just 45 minutes. 

Dave.

[Zhena]

True about the weight.
The skinny men are not popular. I have no exact idea why,but I think the women look at the skinny men as at the weak men And a chubby one gives them a sense of security,what they are looking for. He looks more presentable or so. Plus they feel thinnier themelves near him Same about the height. Of course,the woman can fall in love with a short guy,but for the first look,all women prefer the taller men.
A face is not that important and the different women prefer different.
When I saw my husband first,I thought he is too handsome. Plus later I told him to gain about 5 kilos,cos I thought he is too bony. Now I dont care:the health is more important and I let him to be in the weight he feels comfortable with.
This is what about an appearance....
needless to say that all women have the different tastes and preferences though.
Personally I think that in USA much more handsome men than in FSU.
But I wont say anything new when I ll say the personal qualities are more important and the women fall for that,not for the looks.

[Mars]

Thanks Zhena for very complete and informative post.
Rare when the women are so honest and forthcoming.

[SMS60]

These questions are usually answered in a bias way.

If a man is skinny he will say women want skinny men
If a man is fat he will say women like big hairy men.
If a man is stinky he will say women like the cave man type
If a man is short he will say short is the only way women like it

[Son of Clyde]

I learned a good wrist exercise. All you need is a glass of your favorite beer and continually lift it to your mouth until the glass is empty.

Mickey Roarke looks healthy for a change. Needs a haircut though, unless he is portraying Georgeous George.

I remember when Robert Di Nero had to look out of shape for his role as Raging Bull. He had to gain 50 or 60 pounds of fat for the role of Jake Lamotta.

[docetae]

I don't know what women want but I know I am what my wife wanted
6ft6 - 220lbs

[RussianWind]

Mi wife would die to meet Michael Douglas or Micky Roarke and neither has a perfect physique.

You know why?
Because of the movies: "Basic Instinct", 'Nine 1/2 Weeks", "Wild Orchid"

Women choose lovers, not warriors 

[elliott]

Women choose lovers, not warriors 

Except in the movies, like in Braveheart when the French princess falls for William Wallace.  Or in Tombstone when Wyatt Earp was lassoed in by that thespian woman.    Hey, if it happens in the movies, it must mirror real life, right?

[RussianWind]

Except in the movies, like in Braveheart when the French princess falls for William Wallace. 

I am not into Mel Gibson, they say he is snorring like a horse 

Hey, if it happens in the movies, it must mirror real life, right?

I didn't say good warriors can't be good lovers 
Actually those movies are more about romantic love than about battles (if I remember correctly)

[Jumper]

True about the weight.
The skinny men are not popular. I have no exact idea why,but I think the women look at the skinny men as at the weak men And a chubby one gives them a sense of security,what they are looking for. He looks more presentable or so. Plus they feel thinnier themelves near him Same about the height. Of course,the woman can fall in love with a short guy,but for the first look,all women prefer the taller men.
A face is not that important and the different women prefer different.
When I saw my husband first,I thought he is too handsome. Plus later I told him to gain about 5 kilos,cos I thought he is too bony. Now I dont care:the health is more important and I let him to be in the weight he feels comfortable with.
This is what about an appearance....
needless to say that all women have the different tastes and preferences though.
Personally I think that in USA much more handsome men than in FSU.
But I wont say anything new when I ll say the personal qualities are more important and the women fall for that,not for the looks.

For whatever its worth-
This would exactly mirror Tanya's thoughts.

 I'm in good shape, tend to run  towards the thin side , and short.
there *were* so many strikes against me with RW !! (seriuosly)
 

[Johnny2009]

For whatever its worth-
This would exactly mirror Tanya's thoughts.

 I'm in good shape, tend to run  towards the thin side , and short.
there *were* so many strikes against me with RW !! (seriuosly)
 

My wife is the exact opposite, I have to stay slim, so we are jogging every evening on the beach, no beer during the week and I'm limited to only 2 bags of chips a week.

However, the fact that I am 6ft works to my advantage a little.

P.S The "no beer" clause is killing me 

[Jumper]

she always wanted me to drink more beer


just illustrates generalaties dont mean too much, you will be dating
(or marrying) an individual afterall

(we did jog often together as well though )