My trip report: In Odessa

[NickB]

Hi,

I'll try to chronicle my trip to Odessa here. I'll include my slip ups and my successes for the benefit of those seeking to follow.

About me?
I'm an IT specialist for a small company in Houston. I am pretty much a jack of all trades and run most of the communications related services. Great job, great pay and great company!
I'm 49 years old and have been married once in the past. Married my high school sweet heart and stayed together for 12 years. Turns out she was sexually molested as a child and developed serious problems later. I tried my best to get her into therapy but she refused. Finally I had all I could take and left.

I've dated plenty of women here in Houston and find a theme. They all have given up the traditional role of the woman. It has become degrading to them. I actually feel they are becoming more like men. That is for another post.

I glanced at Russian Bride sites 4 or 5 years ago. I was slightly interested and wrote a few. At the time it seemed more trouble than it was worth so it feel by the wayside. Now my life situation has changed. More money, more free time and an interest in finding a woman to be my wife. I feel the urge to settle down.

On to the pursuit:

Around March of 2009 I stumbled across a singles website with women from many parts of the world. I casually did some searching and found some very attractive women from Russia in the age range I was looking, 37 to 42.
I wrote a few and got replies back. I went overboard and tried to strike up romances online. Found my mistake in that and switched over to hunter mode. Hunt for the one(s) you want and let's take a trip to see them in peson.

Along the way I found many of the "10 commandments" thru trial and error.
Don't fall in love with a picture... sage advice!!! I did more than once and after getting to know them found them to be nothing like I was expecting. (real pictures coaxed out of them revealed the truth. Missing teeth, hidden weight and more).

Eliminate the agency$$$... YES! Hundreds down the drain on agencies. Later I found Singles.ru and the same women for free.

Do not send money.. Absolutely. I had several ask for money and one almost got it. She (he) sent pictures every email and talked so sweet. She (he) was a dentist assistant and helped children in neighboring towns. It was a great story and played very well until one day out of the blue she (he) had been given 3 weeks vacation by the boss and she (he) wanted to come visit me. All the sudden the emails changed to demanding I tell her(him) where the nearest international airport was and how they were going to Moscow to get the visa (she wrote me she was in Ukraine earlier). DELETE!
I had seen the same scam before but not played so well.

I narrowed my search down to 5 ladies. 4 I planned to meet the first week and #5 I planned to spend the last week with. I had talked to her longest and we had developed a nice report. We skyped regularly and chatted on the phone every few days. Her english is not so good but passable and I had grown fond of her personality.

I picked late September early October as my trip time. Mainly because I like fall and because my work schedule slows during that time.
About a month out I booked the flight from Houston to Kiev with plans to go to Odessa after meeting one woman in Kiev. The more I communicated with the woman in Kiev the less I wanted to meet her so I skipped Kiev and went straight to Odessa.

Early on I decided to rent a flat instead of hotel. Wise decision! For $50 a day I'm in a nice little flat on the 8th floor of one of the cleaner buildings I've seen here. Fully modernized and quite attractive with a small grocery on the bottom floor, security gates everywhere and fast elevator.

Flight over is pretty uneventful until I get to Kiev. Taxi men hounding me. One took me under his wing and got me a SIM card for my phone then tried to talk me into a $100 tour of Kiev in the 5 hours I had between flights. I talked him down to $50 and off we went. He spoke decent English and we had a great time. He got me back to the airport at 8:00pm and my flight boarded at 8:30. Great!

Arriving in Odessa at 10:30pm we were dropped at the gate instead of in the terminal. The bags arrived a few seconds later and I met my driver who took me to the flat. He showed me the gate codes and how to use the internet connection (3G USB). Lesson number one.. do not come to a foreign country with a new mac and expect a USB 3G device to work.. no internet for me. (later solved by installing Windows 7 in Bootcamp after finding a blank DVD downtown)

The woman I was to meet first had sort of taken me under her wing. She went to the agency and checked the flat, got the numbers of the owner etc.. I SMS her from Kiev that I'm in country. She says "welcome to Ukraine" and she will pick me up the next day at 1200.

The next day the phone rings around 9am.. she is making sure I am doing OK and tells me she'll be there at 1200 so be ready. I reassure her that I'll be ready.
In the hours before she arrives I shower, dress and go for a walk. Lesson number two.. do not come to a foreign country with new shoes. Even nice Sperry loafers... three blisters!
Returning from the walk at 1125 I find her outside waiting for me!!! WOW! She looks better in person than she did in the pictures.
5'4", perfect face, translucent skin, perfect lips, beautiful eyes.. She speaks.. nice voice, no bad breath and pretty teeth!

I let her into the flat and take her coat. We chit chat a bit and decide to walk to Arcadia beach and eat some seafood for lunch.
I beg to wear my tennis shoes because of the blisters. She asks "new shoes?" I answer "yes!" and she laughs.
Off we go.. me in tennis shoes and her in heels. We walked for 20 minutes to get to the restaurant. She never said a word about walking in heels and kept up with me no problem. During the walk it started. Body contact.. I bumped into her lightly on purpose then she did me and it continued. I put my arm around her once to help her and she grabbed my arm later. I leaned in close to pretend I couldn't hear and she played right along by pulling me closer by grabbing me by the bicep (I work out).
We toured the beach area for an hour or so. Sat on benches and took in the ocean view then headed home.

On the way home we stopped at the supermarket to pick up some stuff. Bread, cheese, salami, nuts and beer etc... She picked out a red wine from Georgia.
when we got home I opened the wine and she made some cheese, meat and cucumber mini-sandwiches. We drank and snacked and talked and flirted until she had to go. So it went for the first day. She left for home around 7pm and I walked her to the corner. I don't know how she got home but vowed the next day that she would take a taxi.

The next day she arrived at 1000 ready to go. We hopped a taxi and went downtown. She took me around to the opera house, some nice square where we had a beer. More walking, more flirting (I think the sightseeing took a backseat to the flirting). Her son met us at a bar and took me to the computer store to get a blank DVD. I talked with him a while and he turned out to be a great kid. Perfect English, polite and very helpful.
We continued our tour until around 5pm when we went back to the flat to relax.
No wine or alcohol this time.. Just regular chat and lots of flirting.
I walked her down to the street but she kept refusing to take a taxi. We crossed the street just in time for one of those yellow busses to pull up. She said "bye" and jumped in the bus before I could complain. At least she took the money I put in her hand, 200rph.

The next day she had to return to work and I thought this would be my time to meet some of the other women. Of course she knew I had planned to meet other women and I believe that's why she kept such close tabs on me. Always interested in what I was doing, SMS messages thru the day, called at lunch etc.. Finally she said that she was getting off work 3 hours early to come to my place and fix Borscht (SP?). I told her before that I had never had it and tasting it was high on my priority list.
She arrived at 1500 on the dot wearing a skin tight black leather dress, black hose and black heels. Who ever designed that dress deserves an award. She made it look good and it made her look good.
She went right to work making the soup. I opened the wine she brought and it turned out to be pretty good in contrast to the first wine she picked in the supermarket. It was too sweet but this was nice and dry.

More flirting, more cooking, more wine.
Then the borscht. Great! I had no idea it would taste so good. We ate borscht, bread and a sort of bacon that looked to be cured but not cooked. It was good.. it was all good. She kept looking into my eyes and I looked right back. She would hold my look for a long time, talking while she did. I got that feeling inside, you know the short breath and quick pulse.

The next morning she surprised me with one of the strangest breakfast dishes I've ever seen. Cottage cheese, sour cream and honey. Talk about rich. I ate some of it but could not eat all of it and instead made some coffee and helped her get ready for work.
After she left I sat on the balcony with my coffee thinking about her. Sweet, pretty, sexy, educated, clever, good cook.. A great catch for sure!

She just called. She's coming by after work and after going by her house to get more clothes.

to be continued...

[Misha]

YES! Hundreds down the drain on agencies. Later I found Singles.ru and the same women for free.

That is what I keep telling them  :evil: Very nice trip report.

[Faux Pas]

Sladdddkee

[Misha]

Sladdddkee

Sweet?

[Mars]

The next morning she surprised me with one of the strangest breakfast dishes I've ever seen. Cottage cheese, sour cream and honey

- - - -

That was probably syrniki.  And it was probably sweet cream rather than sour cream.  I love the stuff.  To make it even richer, put some walnuts on it also.  The cheese they use is not too far from Ricotta, except it is quite a bit less moist.

What street was your apartment on?

[Faux Pas]

Sweet?

Ayup! The spelling could be wrong but I've never been a great speller anyway

[Misha]

Ayup! The spelling could be wrong but I've never been a great speller anyway

Just couldn't figure out why you were adding "sweet" in reply to my post  :noidea:

[Faux Pas]

Just couldn't figure out why you were adding "sweet" in reply to my post  :noidea:

Excuse me Misha.....my bad. It is corrected now. It was in reference to NickB's TR

[JR]

Cool T/R Nick and hope things keep going well for you

[Taz]

Keep us posted. We are all just a bunch of voyeurs here waiting to get our next fix...   

[NickB]

Next day..

She arrived from work and we set out to walk to a restaurant her mother recommended.

Lesson number 3 and 4... Do not walk on the railroad tracks!!!! Always.. ALWAYS look before crossing them!!!!! I almost got plastered to the front of one!! They are almost silent and seem to lack a horn.

Strange behavior.. She has taken up residence here with me but her mother calls her frequently, her father called to make sure she was awake this morning. Her son told her to leave the house, he would find his own meal. Not what I would expect from parents or children (her son is 18 or 19).

Her mother recommended a restaurant around the corner. When we arrived my first impression was of a fine restaurant in Europe. Nicely decorated, very clean and impressive. I ordered some kind of pork smothered in peppers and onions, she ordered blueberry beef. My pork was absolutely superb, her beef was outstanding. The service was beyond compare. The house wine was great. The bill came... Hah! 320rph or less than $40.

We walked home slowly, taking in the night and talking. She talked of the economic situation in Ukraine and how the mafia has taken over everything. How the elections are going to be a farse and will only be trading one mafia for another. She works in Tax Administration and tells me that corruption is the main cause of the situation here. She said that $90million targeted to improve the Kiev airport for some games (olympics or something??) just disappeared. Interesting conversation.

We arrived at the flat and we shared some ice cream together.
She locked my eyes with that look and I moved in to kiss her....

Good food, good company and perfect weather. Perfect evening.

Today I woke when she did and we had a fun time this morning. She has a nice personality and I like that she wakes up in a good mood.
We were laughing and chasing each other around the flat then she pouted a little and said she didn't want to go to work today but wanted to stay with me.
While she was in the shower I slipped some money in her purse. I don't want her paying for things but she does anyway.
Breakfast was meat and cheese on brown bread. No cottage cheese today.

When she left I reached to kiss her and wow.. she put something extra in that kiss and whispered she didn't want to go to work today.

Tonight we're headed to the Opera. I'll take a taxi and meet her there as it starts at 6pm. Luckily she gets off work at 5pm on Fridays.
Tomorrow is my last day and I'm feeling sad about leaving.
She has turned out to be a sweet woman and we get along great.
She said last night as we were falling asleep. "You are good with me". "You are good with me too" I said and hugged her closer.

Off to get a shower and get ready for the Opera. I didn't bring any dress clothes so I'll just wear dark pants and shirt along with those darned new shoes and plenty of bandaids.

[Faux Pas]

Nick
Great TR! Don't put too much thought in the perceived actions of her family. There's likely nuances there you know nothing about. Enjoy the moment and the lady. You can do your postmortem and reflections later.
 

[JR]

I echo what FP says about the family, sounds like pretty normal stuff to me. Mother and daughter will be close and them calling each other frequently isn't anything to worry about. Plus you are a "different" critter to them so naturally they'd be curious about you.

Thanks for sharing your ride, hope it keeps going smoothly for you

[Taz]

Only thing that seems a little odd to me is how her mother new about such a nice restaurant. Is her family fairly well off? Is is some place her mom had been too or only heard about? It isn't odd that her mom calls about but is it actually her mom? Moms there in general have a way of sticking their nose in the relationships more than I care for.

My last real serious relationship ended basically because of her mom sticking her nose in our relationship. I didn't want to have a relationship where I had to deal with her mom all the time getting involved in matters that should have been strictly between us. Overbearing and overly protective come to mind. A 30 year old woman doesn't need her mom looking out for her every second I'd hope.

Back to the restaurant suggestion for a moment though. At $40 US, that isn't much for you but I still find that a bit odd and that is a pretty expensive restaurant especially in the context of what people make there. I find it odd that her mom would suggest such an expensive place unless it is some sort of test or some other angle. This one has my spidey sense tingling a bit. Maybe nothing to worry about but just file it away for future reference. Maybe her mom had just heard about it or maybe her family is very well off and frequents these types of places frequently. To look at it another way, think as if someone had recommended you go to a restaurant that cost $320 for your first date...

All in all it sounds pretty good for you so far. Enjoy the moment but don't be oblivious to any thing that seems out of the norm. Of course you may have no reference for what the "norm" is but that is why you have this board at your disposal. Have a great trip! She seems like a nice girl so far.

[Shadow]

Only thing that seems a little odd to me is how her mother new about such a nice restaurant. Is her family fairly well off? Is is some place her mom had been too or only heard about? It isn't odd that her mom calls about but is it actually her mom? Moms there in general have a way of sticking their nose in the relationships more than I care for.

My last real serious relationship ended basically because of her mom sticking her nose in our relationship. I didn't want to have a relationship where I had to deal with her mom all the time getting involved in matters that should have been strictly between us. Overbearing and overly protective come to mind. A 30 year old woman doesn't need her mom looking out for her every second I'd hope.

Back to the restaurant suggestion for a moment though. At $40 US, that isn't much for you but I still find that a bit odd and that is a pretty expensive restaurant especially in the context of what people make there. I find it odd that her mom would suggest such an expensive place unless it is some sort of test or some other angle. This one has my spidey sense tingling a bit. Maybe nothing to worry about but just file it away for future reference. Maybe her mom had just heard about it or maybe her family is very well off and frequents these types of places frequently. To look at it another way, think as if someone had recommended you go to a restaurant that cost $320 for your first date...

All in all it sounds pretty good for you so far. Enjoy the moment but don't be oblivious to any thing that seems out of the norm. Of course you may have no reference for what the "norm" is but that is why you have this board at your disposal. Have a great trip! She seems like a nice girl so far.

Come on Taz, people want RW because of strong family bonds and then you are cautious about a mother in a relationship ?
Reminds me of the first night with MrsShadow. We were just in bed when the phone rang. Mother wanting to know if she arrived ok. After about 5 minutes mother got the idea she might be disturbing something......


And why should people in Russia not know restaurants ? Even if you have not visited, a good restaurant travels by reputation.

[LAman]

Nice story Nick, hope things go well tonight. I went to the opera a couple months ago, awesome inside but stayed only till middle second intermission...something about a french opera with russian subtitles above.

I am in Odessa at moment also, crummy Saturday cold and cloudy. Wish I had known you were here...there are some really good japanese restaurants here, one on Rishelivskya near Bunina. Wondering if restaurant that costed 320uah was a ukrainian one...I've been to many around Deribasovskya.

[NickB]

What a wonderful lady!
She is one of the sweetest women I've ever met!

As far as the mom calling.. They seem to be close and I suppose her mother doesn't mind that she's staying at my place.
On the restaurants.. I looked at the menu and the prices are what they are. It was a very nice restaurant and the food was outstanding. Her mother does something with hospitality and knows all the good places. They do seem well off. She has that air about her so I'm sure she got it from the family.

The opera turned out to be outstanding. When we got there I told her I wanted the best seats so she got some that were 4 rows back from the pit. Outstanding! The orchestra never missed a beat and the singers were superb. What a place! We did a tour of it and wow! Nice!

We went to the steak house with the cow in front. I ordered a ribeye, she had some kind of kabob and we shared grilled veggies. That wound up costing 550rph but it was worth it. The ribeye was cooked to perfection on what tasted like open flame, the wine was good.
We walked for 30 minutes or so just talking and holding hands. All in all a very romantic and magic evening.

I bid her farewell today and it was a sad time. Tears on both sides.
The last two days we really got in the groove of one another.

She is a wonderful person, very sweet, very pretty, very smart and very genuine.
She asked "You come back to me?". "Yes I come back to you".

[JR]

KEWL

[Taz]

Come on Taz, people want RW because of strong family bonds and then you are cautious about a mother in a relationship ?
Reminds me of the first night with MrsShadow. We were just in bed when the phone rang. Mother wanting to know if she arrived ok. After about 5 minutes mother got the idea she might be disturbing something......

I don't have a problem with a close family relationship. If it is very close, to the point of being meddlesome, then I have a problem with it. RW's mothers have a LOT of influence on them. Maybe not with every woman of course, but much more influence than I've seen in the US. Keep in mind that someday this woman's mother maybe your relative and she'll likely try and exert even more influence then than she does now.

OTOH, most RW's mothers are a little worried when their daughters are meeting foreigners. There has been a lot of negative media coverage about foreigners with bad intent taking advantage of RW. I've seen several on TV while there. Of course there isn't a single piece of coverage about all the scammers  in the FSU. It's OK to be bad, as long as you are on our side.

And why should people in Russia not know restaurants ? Even if you have not visited, a good restaurant travels by reputation.

As for the restaurant most people here about the types of restaurants they frequent. Most pro-daters seem to know the really expensive ones. The price the OP quoted isn't a cheap restaurant for sure. His comment about being a fine Restaurant of Europe definitely denotes and upper class establishment. It just seemed to be a bit odd but when he explained the woman's mom was in the hospitality industry it makes more sense. My experience has been if a woman knows all the expensive restaurants in town, it typically isn't a good thing. Likely she's a pro-dater or one her friends is. I then think about birds of a feather, flock together...

I am sort of concerned about NickB's last post. If she comes from an upper class family, he better have the wherewithal to keep her in the style she is accustomed to. She sounds like a nice lady so far but there are some areas he needs to look deeper into. I'd explore her socio-economic background a bit more.