St. Petersburg, One Year Later

[Phil dAmore]

Greetings all.

Longtime members know that I lived and worked in St. Petersburg for just under 7 years.  It was a wild, amazing experience, details and highlights of which can be found in my old posts, if anyone cares to dig through them.

This post… not quite a trip report in the traditional sense… will be of my impressions of St. Pete after having been gone for exactly one year.

For the uninitiated, here is the cast of major characters in this narrative,  besides your intrepid and occasionally insipid traveler there is:

Nina:  The woman I lived with for the entire time I stayed in Russia.

Ira:      Nina’s daughter

Slava:  Ira’s husband.

Vera:   Nina’s grand daughter

Boris and Antonina:  Nina’s parents

Masha: A very nice RW that I have known for about 6 years.  A former adult student in my English classes

Nastya:  Another former student that I have been maintaining occasional correspondence with.  We met when she was just 14 and in one of my first classes.  Now she is almost 21, graduated from university and is making a pretty good life for herself, by herself.  She represents my hope for the future of Russia.

Bob:  American expat living and working in Moscow, and from all indications he is doing it right.

Purpose of the trip:  There were three major objectives to this journey. 

1) Recovery of personal property that had to be left in Russia due to weight and shipping cost issues.

2)  To sit down with Nina and rake through the ashes of what was once a relationship that was so good, a love that was so strong it was enough to make a man feel unworthy.


3)  Over the years of knowing Masha, there was always a tiny little spark between us.  While we never developed it past a cordial friendship, now that I was no longer romantically involved with Nina it left both of us free to explore other options.  I wasn’t holding my breath for any great revelations on Masha’s part about long- suppressed desires and emotions, but I just had to clear the air with her if for no other reason than it would provide closure and allow both of us to move on.

This entire trip was designed to be my last to Russia for the foreseeable future. 


Sept.16:

Lufthansa 3221 touches down at Pulkovo right on time.  I arrive with two large and largely empty suitcases because of the above-mentioned task of bringing them back nice and full.  The original plan was to make my way to Nina’s apartment via public transit as she was kind and gracious enough to let me stay with her and sleep on the couch - the couch and the rest of the furniture that I gave her after selling my apartment-.

After realizing that two large and unwieldy suitcases plus a carry on wasn’t really practical on a bus and subway car I agreed to be met by Slava,  Nina’s son-in-law and suspected bagman for his brothers many varied ‘business interests’ all around the city.

As with many Russians Slava’s driving style is somewhere north of ‘reckless’ venturing toward ‘ holy SH!T WTF is wrong with you?’  When I calmly mentioned that I had plenty of time so it really wasn’t necessary to do 110+ MPH on the ring road back from the airport,  Nina mentioned that the speedo was graduated in Km and not miles.  She was wrong, it WAS MPH and I was none to happy with the situation.  I don’t like riding with Slava and I never have.  He makes me nervous.

Having said that we did arrive at Nina’s very quickly and thankfully, safely.  Everything was taken upstairs, I got settled in and Nina immediately left to go practice her table tennis leaving me alone not one hour after arriving.   

Oh, and it was raining rather steadily.


Sept. 17:  Woke up, grabbed a shower and started looking for some breakfast.  My choices were limited to one egg of questionable freshness and about four tons of ice that had built up in the freezer.   I started defrosting the freezer and made my way to the local grocery store, a place I am very familiar with.

Doing the shopping was as natural as breathing.  It was no big deal for me, back when I lived here I did the grocery shopping all the time as well as most of the cooking.


Back at the apartment, got everything put away and made myself a little snack.  I wrote a few emails and made a few calls related to short trip to Moscow that was in the works for the upcoming week.  Since I only had a total of 3 weeks in-country it was going to require scheduling.  I also needed to get a local SIM card for my phone so as not to pay T-Mobile $4.00 a minute for roaming charges.

The rest of the day was spent inside Nina’s apartment because it continued to rain with such intensity that only a fool would venture outdoors.

Sept:18:  Slava the suspected bagman gave me a smokin’ deal on currency exchange as well as handling the registration of my visa.  Slava is very good at that sort of thing.  I don’t mess with it because in the U.S. we have a name for what he does and it is called forgery.

Grabbed an umbrella and made my way to Moscovski Vokzal  to buy some tickets to Moscow.  I was surprised just how quickly my Russian came back to me, in fact the dyev at the ticket office even commented on the quality of my Russian.  5,000 rubles later I had my tickets in hand.  Lucky me, I got the fast train down to Moscow (<5 hours) and on the way back I had a slower train, but I did have the купе which in theory would allow me to sleep on the return trip.

In the middle of  St. Petersburg Russia I felt a sudden urge for a Big Mac, something I haven’t touched in over a  year.  Mickey D’s in St. Pete is less of a restaurant and more of a social club these days, what with free WiFi and all.  Evidently the staff has no problems with people remaining at tables LONG after they had completed their meal, no doubt because this delayed the task of having to clean the table, thereby reducing the workload on the McStaffer.  The inconvenience to other customers who might actually want to sit down and eat evidently isn’t factored into the equation.

Two days in and I noticed that prices are pretty much what I remembered from last year, perhaps a bit higher but not obscenely so.

I finished my meal and made my way in a steady downpour back to Nina’s apartment.

Sept. 18:

Met with the rest of the family, Boris and Antonina, Ira and Vera.  Vera is a sweet little girl, 7 years old now and extremely well behaved.  Having never had any children of my own I  have no experience with what is ‘easier’ girls or boys.   My opinion would be radically altered in the coming days when we would be visited by two old friends, both of which have little boys who could best be described as ‘ active’   When they left I went up to Ira and gave her a big hug and kiss and told her how very glad I was that she had a girl.  Yeah, girls are easier.


Boris brought over a bottle of his nearly-famous самогон,  a liquid that is suitable for use as a refreshing beverage, motor fuel or possibly antifreeze.  As homemade hooch goes it’s actually pretty good once you get past the first two or three.  I’ve always enjoyed hanging out with Boris, of all the people I met while in Russia he was the one that I had the least problems communicating with.  Why this is so I don’t exactly know but I suspect it is because he tends to speak loudly, slowly and clearly.  We wiped out the bottle of booze and then retired for a nap.

There really wasn’t much else to do because for the third day in a row, the skies had opened up to reveal strong rain.


Sept 19-22

Did almost nothing but stay in Nina’s apartment because it simply refused to stop raining for more than about 2 hours at a time.  During one of these breaks I did manage to meet with Nastya, my former student and biggest hope for the future of Russia.  Always one of my best students, she is now an auditor for  Ernst and Young.  In a time when many have been laid off due to the crisis she is keeping busy  building her career and according to her it‘s because of her English skills.  I’m really proud of this young woman.

Sept 23 -27:

Moscow!  It was only my second trip here.  Nice town, great vibe really.  I hung out with my good friend Bob who has recovered from having been shot by a local Moscow motorist after Bob dared to comment on the guys driving ability.  In a surprise development, the Moscow police actually managed to catch the guy that did it.  No word on what punishment has been or will be meted out.

Bob has managed to ingratiate himself into the Moscow expat community quite well.  He is well known and liked even among various club owners who allowed him - and me by extension- past the venerable velvet rope for free and into preferred seating.  Nice, very nice.

Of the four days in Moscow, it rained for about 3 and half of them.  However it did stop long enough for me to get out to Novodyevichky Monastary and cemetery.  For those that have not been there it is where pretty much anyone who was anyone in Soviet history is buried, assuming that they aren’t in the Kremlin wall.  I had one mission:  To get a photo of me banging a shoe on Nikita Khrushchev’s grave.  Happy to report that after several attempts I was successful and the result would be posted below if I could figure out how to post pics.  I half expected that there would be some babushka near the gravesite whose only job was to make sure people didn’t do this.


The train ride back north was uneventful.  Got back to Petersburg right on time and walked out into a downpour that continued all day and night.



Sept. 28:

Met with Masha.  This was probably the most difficult part of the trip only because I had no idea how things would turn out.  Over the years that we have known each other there has always been a very slight undercurrent of attraction between us.  Several times I had mentioned to Masha how I felt about her and her response was always нельзя… it is impossible.  However she had never told me why she felt it was impossible.  Today I planned on finding out.

Armed with a list of questions to ask her, in the interest of expediency I distilled it down to that one question - why?-   The answer I got was direct and straightforward  (a straight answer from an RW… can you believe it?).  It all came down to question of timing.  That is to say, now is not a particularly good time for either of us to establish a new relationship. 

Unlike Nina,  I actually have something in common with Masha.  We are both living with and caring for aged parents, are both musicians and neither of us have a particularly strong interest in sports.  Yeah I know, it’s not much but it’s more than what I had before.

A bit about Masha:  As RW go, she isn’t what you would call a ‘stunner’  43 years old, divorced for many years with no children, her best feature is her easy laugh (something I was never able to get Nina to do).  She is the embodiment of a Good. Sweet. Woman.   Physically I can only find two things wrong with her.  One is she has a rather large mole where her nose meets her face, and the other is she has very bad teeth.

Happy to report that sometime during the past year Masha went to the dermatologist and had the mole removed.  She looks much better.  Now all she needs is to get into a dentists office.  I have a feeling she will do that during the coming year.

So what did we discuss?  All I will reveal at this point is that we laid the groundwork, or at least the framework for a relationship.  The timing is bad for both of us right now but we agreed to write and take things slowly.   Also the possibility of meeting in Tenerife next year was mentioned.  More on this as it develops.

As for me, I have a really good feeling about this.  Unlike previous relationships that I have been in, this one is very different, largely because we didn’t get physical right away, or at all.  Hell, I didn’t even kiss Masha until I had known her about 3 years.  It forced me to actually get to know Masha as a person.  While time consuming and occasionally frustrating I believe that this method has it’s merits.

Masha knows my less-than-stellar  track record when it comes to relationships and I believe she is providing the opportunity and the time to decide if this is really, truly what we want.  This is a good thing.

After the meeting I escorted Masha to the station and then went our separate ways in a howling wind and driving rain.

Sept. 29- Oct.5

Rain, rain, and more rain.  Nina’s internet was cut off on Oct. 1 because she forgot to pay the bill… this was something else I used to take care of. By Oct 3 it was turned back on.

Began packing for the return trip.  In addition to the clothing that had been left behind last year there were 200 phonograph records in one suitcase plus a large, heavy vacuum- tube (valve) guitar amplifier and one extra bag in the form of a bass guitar. All this was going to cost me in baggage fees, but I really had no idea how much.  I started loading up on rubles.


Oct. 4:

Nina and I had a long sit down about what went wrong with us.  There really weren’t any surprises, it came down to what we had both known from the very beginning… we were just two very different people who have differing world views and priorities.  It’s not about who was right or wrong.  Nina is a very sweet, loving woman and would make the right man a wonderful wife.  However I am simply not that man.  We gave it  7 years, you can’t say we didn’t try.

Note to newbies:  If your gal tells you that it just isn’t going to work, listen to her.  Don’t try to force something that just isn’t there.  If she’s into you, you will know it.  Press the issue and you may end up with a great gal that you may love, but don’t like very much.

Oct. 6 - departure day.

With a 6 AM flight I needed to be at Pulkovo around 4 AM to check everything in.  Ira was nice enough to ferry me and my stuff to the airport in her car.  Unlike her maniacal husband, Ira is a very careful, competent and safe driver. 

At 3:15 AM in a light drizzle Ira picks me, my stuff and Nina and we all head to the airport.  The total weight of my 3 bags was just under 100kg.  We said our goodbyes at the security area and I went to check in the bags, preparing for the worst.  All together the overweight fees came to 360 Euro, or about 580$ US after the exchange.  I was a little short of this amount in my rubles and evidently Lufthansa can’t figure out how to work with two different currencies so I ended up putting it on my card, leaving me with a huge pile of rubles that I couldn’t exchange at the airport because the exchange was closed.


I had noticed that Lufthansa had significantly overcharged me for the ow/od fees but by that time I was past passport control and there was no way I was going to get back to the ticket office.  I figured I would just take care of it in  Germany.  As I was headed down the jet way the Lufthansa agent chases me down and was very apologetic about her error.  It was corrected before I ever left Russia, so that is a good thing.

At 0600  we were wheels up to Frankfurt.  As it had done for the entire time in Russia, it was raining.

So what changed in Piter?  Not much really.  A new metro link connector was opened and that has created a fifth line.  I didn’t get out much because it just wouldn’t stop raining.

The new Gazprom tower - that nobody wanted but it’s being built anyway- is under construction just across the river from Smolney.  Nina’s professional opinion as a geologist is that the entirety of that 400- meter tall glass abomination is going to topple directly into the Neva because the underlying soil just isn’t sufficient for the weight of the building.  Or at least that is what she told me after I told her the damn thing is going up.  Nina doesn’t read newspapers or pay attention to things outside her immediate world (something that was always a sore point with me) but once she knew about its existence she immediately knew ALL about it.

Another note to newbies:  When you find Miss Right, make sure that her first name isn’t Always.

Upon arrival in Frankfurt I was really tired and not paying very close attention to the exchange rate at the airport causing me to make a stupid rookie traveler mistake.  Since I had all of those rubles left from Pulkovo I needed to exchange them.  When the official bank rate was around 30/1 USD they bought them in Germany at 56 / 1.  I ended up taking around a $200 hit.  Ouch.

The trip back stateside was uneventful which is how I like my air travel to be.  There was a slight delay in bag retrieval but everything arrived undamaged.

Overall I consider the trip a success.  The constant rain precluded me from doing a bunch of dumb tourist things like going to Peterhof and taking a canal boat ride.  Of course I have done these previously but since this was to be my last trip for a while I wanted to get a few more excursions in.

I guess the big news is that things went really well with Masha.  So, to quote Gregg Allman:

Here I am, starting over at the end of the line.









 

[SANDRO43]

I had one mission:  To get a photo of me banging a shoe on Nikita Khrushchev’s grave.  Happy to report that after several attempts I was successful and the result would be posted below if I could figure out how to post pics.

Phil, it's rather simple although not quite self-evident.

When posting, you'll see a cryptic Additional Options... at bottom left under the text area. Click that and it'll expand to a number of items including Attach: with a Choose... button that allows you select a file from your PC for attachment .

If the file is not on your PC but somewhere on the Internet, then you can use the Insert Image icon over the text area and insert the file URL therein.

[Phil dAmore]

Well thanks Sandro... I learned something new today.

As promised

[SANDRO43]

... I learned something new today.

Don't we all . BTW, did Nikita offer any response to your banging on his slab ?

[Phil dAmore]

No, no response was heard, although I was saying something along the lines of:

Hey there... who's the tough guy now, huh 'kita?  Who buried who?  What's that?  I can't hear you.

A hasty retreat to the exit was made after getting this shot.

[TwoBitBandit]

That's a pretty funny picture, Phil.

I hope you don't mind if I copy the idea if I ever find myself in St. Pete.

Like you, I'll make a hasty run for the exit after the photo.

[Phil dAmore]

TBB:

If you are in St. Pete you will never get that photo.  It was taken in Moscow at Novodyevichky Monastery and cemetery.

[Doll]

TBB:

If you are in St. Pete you will never get that photo.  It was taken in Moscow at Novodyevichky Monastery and cemetery.

Which is not nice at all! At the cemetery? You did it at his tomb? It is a shame!

[Doll]

Another note to newbies:  When you find Miss Right, make sure that her first name isn’t Always.

I am not a newbie yet would like to know what you mean. There are always some ALWAYS about every person.

[Doll]

Maybe I am not in the right mood - forgive me but I don't' understand it when the guys who failed their relationships now are teaching the members "remember this, mind that".
Come on!
 
(RW forum is closed so I am here for a while )

[Doll]

Nina doesn’t read newspapers or pay attention to things outside her immediate world (something that was always a sore point with me) but once she knew about its existence she immediately knew ALL about it.

I used to read all the papers before late 90's, then after all these events in Russia I somehow got fed, really fed with all this stuff. Unlike before I stopped watching news or reading papers.
So,Phil dAmore , the part of it could be same- she doesn't trust papers anymore, "politically tired". I guess she  belongs to same generation as I do.
Same happens to me here- I am not crazy about reading papers or watching news. Same reason- I had enough.

[SANDRO43]

I am not a newbie yet would like to know what you mean. There are always some ALWAYS about every person.

I think Phil meant steering clear of any Miss (I'm) Always Right .

[TwoBitBandit]

Which is not nice at all! At the cemetery? You did it at his tomb? It is a shame!

Phil, after you and I are dead, Doll is going to get her revenge and honor her motherland by coming to our graves to bang her high-heeled shoes on our tombstones.  I can already hear her hollering, "TwoBitBandit, I buried you!" as I roll over in my grave.

[I/O]

Maybe I am not in the right mood - forgive me but I don't' understand it when the guys who failed their relationships now are teaching the members "remember this, mind that".
Come on!

Ever notice how marriage guidance counselors have usually been married and divorced umpteen times?

Phil: Your post was a delight to read as I could picture most every scene and generally relate. Such is rare now.

[Doll]

I think Phil meant steering clear of any Miss (I'm) Always Right .

Ah, ok, got you.
BTW, then my husband's name is also ALWAYS RIGHT (which means he is barely ever right)

[sunandsail]

:

[Doll]

Ever notice how marriage guidance counselors have usually been married and divorced umpteen times?

  

I did- just few of them were successful in their marriages. This is exactly what I am talking about- a shoemaker with no shoes on.

[Doll]

Phil, after you and I are dead, Doll is going to get her revenge and honor her motherland by coming to our graves to bang her high-heeled shoes on our tombstones.  I can already hear her hollering, "TwoBitBandit, I buried you!" as I roll over in my grave.

To match Phil, I will have to do it at G.Washington grave.

[Mars]

Great story Phil.  Thanks for the post.

[SANDRO43]

:

Bit cryptic, aren't you ? BTW, I think that particular photo is a PhotoShopped artifact:

1. A First Secretary of the PCUS wearing loafers to a UN session looks a bit out of character

Khrushchev's granddaughter Nina Khrushcheva writes that after years of embarrassed silence her family explained how exactly that happened. Khrushchev was wearing new and tight shoes so that he took them off while sitting. When he started pounding the table with his fist during his angry response his watch fell off. When he was picking it up his shoes caught his eye...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shoe-banging_incident

2. He seems to be banging while addressing the Assembly from the rostrum, whereas he did so while sitting with the rest of the USSR delegation (flat desk with no microphones, see below), as I dimly recall from seeing the incident reported on TV and newspapers at the time (1960)

[TwoBitBandit]

To match Phil, I will have to do it at G.Washington grave.

In Phil's defense, I have to add that Mr. Washington can be reasonably said to have accomplished his goal: to establish a democracy in America.  What are you going to say on his grave?  "Ha ha George, we knew your democracy would collapse into another monarchy!"?

Phil, on the other hand, is actually making an accurate statement (albeit with a lack of diplomacy).  Khrushchev's forecast, "We will bury you!" (Мы вас похороним) actually turned out to be false.  It's unfortunate that Mr. Khrushchev passed away before he had the opportunity to see Mr. Reagan prove him wrong.

[Doll]

So you answered yourself.
I am not talking democracy and stuff- it has nothing to do with the thread.
I am telling you- Phil lived in Russia and he knows better to respect the cemeteries and the deceased. It is not polite- to have fun there.

And this IS the note for the newbies- you go to that country, you respect the culture.
BTW Nikita did a lot for Russia (SU).

[remiel6]

I am inclined to agree with you Doll on this one, but for the record George is buried at his estate in mount Vernon, Virginia should you feel the need to bring a shoe  . He is buried along side his wife and it is in a tomb and there is usually someone there watching it. The door to the tomb was a metal grate and I am not sure you can reach your arm in and hit the place he's buried or not, but in case you feel a need for revenge you can give it a whirl, but I suspect the people watching over the grave might not look to kindly on it. 

[Phil dAmore]

Oh brother...

Okay, fine, it wasn't the most tasteful thing to do.  However it wasn't done in malice, I was just having a bit of fun with ol' Nikita.  Disrespectful?  In the strictest sense perhaps, but it's not like I went in there with a sledgehammer and started knocking down those beautiful carved headstones, or spray - painting swastikas on the graves of the Jews. 

If it makes you feel better I visited several other famous graves and was very quiet and respectful towards them.  I even laid some flowers at the grave of Raisa Gorbachova.

As for giving advice, well as the old saw goes " those that can, do, those that can't... teach."   IMO I and others who have been through failed relationships are qualified to give advice, if only to warn others what NOT to do. 

As with almost everything, there are valid points to taking relationship advice from not only those who have tried and failed but also from those that have successful relationships.  The guys who are making it work long haul are the ones who know what works.  People like me know what doesn't work and will apply that knowledge to the next relationship, should one develop.

[Doll]

in case you feel a need for revenge

I don't. Nobody does.Nikita C. and the USA have very little to do with each other. He did a lot for Russia- no doubt. Like we say, he broke the ice (for his(my) country).
So you need to respect it.