HEEEEEEEEEEY, I AM BACK !

[jamesbond]

 

Heeeey, welcome back, James bond ....just welcoming myself because nobody like me here,hehehehe.

I am posting here again because I got nothing to do in the wee hours of the evening -- tomorrow is holiday and I am thinking of RW I dated. I have gotten over her but I still think I would have been successful If I  had a different "love tactics" and had used a different negotiating style. I hate myself . I should not be thinking about her .....oh,, no,maybe because I was not successful and I always wanted to win in what I do that's why I have a hard time forgetting her.I don't like it -- I guess at age 40, I become mellow and a bit like a hopeless "romantico". Right now, I am dating a Brazilian GF in New Jersey . I live in New York so it's really like a 30 miles distance. She is hot, 29 years old, big round ass and ohhhhhh very nice body. I got her easily like 3 days after meeting .. we went intimate..very spontaneous which I like. The only thing is, ooh no, I still think about this RW...crazy.

By the way, you are welcome to go negative .. I am actually entertained. ...you know I  practice the "Buddhist" philosophy--"unattachement". Whatever you say doesn't affect me especially you don't know me really.

I stumbled upon this post from a different forum. I should have used this "love tactics ".....stupid me. Now, I can't forget her ...I guess I was unsuccessful in that endeavor. Normally, I just moved on.


How Russian women view COURTSHIP and Dating:

I've written often that the Western idea of courtship and Dating is very different from what most Russian ladies and their familes practice in pursuit of marriage.  In fact, in many cases "dating" as understood in the West is really non-existent in the East.

To my mind, men would fare much better if they dropped many "dating" preconceptions and studied/practiced more about courtship and adapted that to the shorter time frames necessary for an international marriage.  That term by the way, is much more accurate that "mail order bride" because if you marry, the challenges and joys which await you will be from the result of an "international marriage."

So how do Russian women see this process:

- Power.  A Russian woman knows that she is a woman and is very proud of that.  It is her strength.  She is not weak in being a woman.  It is her power. 

- This gives her the right to have certain expectations in how a man approaches and views her.  It will guide how he must treat her and her parents.

- She will allure, but not pursue.  She doesn't need to actively pursue a man.  She needs to be herself and the man with the plan of action to win her heart.....will win her heart.

- Men can't be shy or they will lose.  She is looking for boldness and confidence.  Don't confuse this with bravado or brash overconfidence.  Think of cool and calm confidence and determination.

- Most (the kind you want to marry) don’t initiate phone calls nor ask a man out for a "date."  If you can't muster up enough nerve to do this she will wonder what else in life you will be afraid to face.

- She will spend a large amount of time and resources looking her absolute best.  She expects you to take notice and take action.  Those who hesitate will go thru life without a princess.

- Speaking of "princess", her Papa treats her like one and has taught her that she must select only a man who will do the same.  Don't mistake this with spending money or buying her things.  She is not for sale.  She wants to be treated with honour and respect on the ordinary days, not just when courting or on holidays.  Can you make her FEEL (has nothing to do with $) like she is on holiday on ordinary days?

-  You must have the attitude that she is the only woman in existence (just ask any married guy!).  But you need to understand what this means and how it came about:  In recent (very recent) times a young man would flirt with a girl and at some point she would suggest to him that he should visit her parents.  The young man would ask Papa (sometimes via an older representative) for permission to court this young lady.  If Papa (and Mama) said yes, then a period of time began where he would spend a lot of time with her in full view of her family (home visits, walks in the park, church, going with them to the market, etc).

Over time Papa and the young man would begin to talk about life and how it will look in the future.  Advantage young man:  If he stays the course over time, and the girl and her family like him, he will win the girl with no outside competition.  Done deal.  Why so easy?  Because Papa and the lady had agreed that this would be the only young man in consideration until he was eliminated as a possibility or until the wedding. 

Her mindset during courtship is that she is the only woman in your world.

That should clue you in to how most of these ladies view a "plan B."

Is this really done in Russia today?  Sure, it's not universal (nothing is), but not only is it how I was coached to win my wife, but it's being practiced today as we speak with two of our three daughters, of which the oldest (age 26) will be married in an Orthodox ceremony in less than 3 weeks.  And we are not alone.


- She will test you, but don't mistake that as desire for a "sugar daddy."  She tests to guage your determination and sincerity.  In a courtship model she has the right to reject (as can Papa/Mama) a suitor at any time and move on to someone deemed more appropiate or more serious. 

Note:  She will test you in many ways but never using another guy as the test.  If a woman were to use another guy to test you, run like crazy.  She is the one not being serious.


- Have you ever heard the expression that she is looking for a REAL man or for a REAL meeting.  Once you have indicated a desire to court her, you need to be in a position to move forward.  Don't appear to her as if you are "fishing" because that is not what courtship is about.  You need to understand that courtship in itself is a sign of committment.  Either you want her in your life or you don't (far, far different from our Western concept of using "dating" to test compability!).


- In fact she looking more for CHARACTER than for compability.  Life changes people's habits and circumstances (compability) but character and the ability to maintain stability and focus thru those changes does not change.  In investment lingo, she is a "long term investor."


- This has very little to do with sexual attraction.  That is why she will reserve the right to court a man not as "handsome" as others.  Of course she wants someone she can look at with respect and not be repulsed, but you don't have to be a "Don Juan" to win her heart.  You need to be capable, determined and sincere.


- Maintaining her composure at all costs means everything to a traditional Russian Woman so your job is to give them that opportunity.  It means walking on the outside of the sidewalk to protect her from traffic, offering your arm as she steps off the bus, opening doors, help her with a chair, taking her coat, etc.  If you are not a social gentleman, you may not get very far with a RW.


- Family is very important to her final decision.  Don't ever make the mistake of underestimating this power.  If you have courted her mother and father, invested time in her extended family, and gained the respect of her friends, you can almost assume that her heart will follow you.  Its the safest bet one can make with a Russian lady.

[Vaughn]

To my mind, men would fare much better if they dropped many "dating" preconceptions and studied/practiced more about courtship and adapted that to the shorter time frames necessary for an international marriage.  That term by the way, is much more accurate that "mail order bride" because if you marry, the challenges and joys which await you will be from the result of an "international marriage."

If anybody can explain the meaning of this gibberish please respond.

[Daveman]

If anybody can explain the meaning of this gibberish please respond.

I *think* the passage refers to the benefits of using the "woo and win her" approach over the "date and test compatibility", though what we do is more or less a 'marriage' of the two concepts when we 'date' an RW.

To pursue, woo, court (her and parents) and win the heart of a lady AND family, again more or less, EARN her heart -  is seemingly different to the more wishy washy approach of the western dating concept -- but I really don't see much difference actually. Maybe that part of southern culture is still intact.

Not a bad thrust in the quoted post. Not entirely accurate or all encompassing, but not a bad place to start... it does serve as a little compass needle to get going in the right direction.

[Vaughn]

OK Daveman, I get it - but how does that concept dovetail with posting about conquests,
assertions that "nobody likes me here", and a professed "unattachement" (sic) - coupled
with an obvious need for attention? At forty, the guy must really be lonely.

[Daveman]

OK Daveman, I get it - but how does that concept dovetail with posting about conquests,
assertions that "nobody likes me here", and a professed "unattachement" (sic) - coupled
with an obvious need for attention? At forty, the guy must really be lonely.

LoL, yeah, I was trying to ignore that segment in its entirety.  Part one was useless.. part two at least is decent discussion material.

Looks like the Day Three Festivities didn't hold the attention for the duration of the span... okay, JB, so ya got laid, but still think about the Russian lady who screwed you.. over that is.. soooooo, thinking about going for it again and leaving Miss Brazilian New Jersey in the dust?  :evil:  I can't blame you for the desire to try again with a better plan... I've done that several times thus far.  I can't really understand the preoccupation you have with the Conquistador side of the equation. 

[Vaughn]

To pursue, woo, court (her and parents) and win the heart of a lady AND family, again more or less, EARN her heart -  is seemingly different to the more wishy washy approach of the western dating concept -- but I really don't see much difference actually. Maybe that part of southern culture is still intact.

I've always made a distinction between the two. Dating was merely a socially accepted vehicle to spend time
with a woman that commanded at least some of one's interest. Wooing and courting came later if at all.

My history of dating my wife was short-lived by that definition, a whole day and a half to be exact. Beyond that
we were compelled to engage in serious discussion (and some serious cooking with fresh market produce) and
fairly much dispensed with the usual dating activities. In fact we graduated to full-blown parties, no reasons
needed (other than I was visiting and curious folks, near and dear, wanted to meet the foreigner)...

jamesbond, I didn't mean to hijack your thread, so hop in at any time.

- Most (the kind you want to marry) don’t initiate phone calls nor ask a man out for a "date."  If you can't muster up enough nerve to do this she will wonder what else in life you will be afraid to face.

Call me old-fashioned, but I believe in this "concept" implicitly. My daughters may see things differently, but I don't
really believe any of them will be prepared to argue otherwise when an eventual husband-candidate comes calling
them initially. As Sly Stone said at Woodstock, "it's not a fashion in the first place..."

Note:  She will test you in many ways but never using another guy as the test.

Another cornerstone of courtship IMO. Elvira and I played no games regarding "tests"...  we paid tribute to the
tests administered by time - consistency, proper stewardship of emotion, finances, all the while cognizant that
we each had responsibilities to our existing families and households. The romance part was the gravy - we so
enjoyed acquainting and growing close, never allowing the aforementioned facets to dampen our spirits. There's
got to be a healthy balance or you both losing sight of the common goal. It's too easy to slip a ring on a lady's
finger - we knew that going in - so we did our best to exercise patience as neither relished a hasty decision.

[I/O]

I got her easily like 3 days after meeting .. we went intimate.

Charming. The "got her" was the real low point.

[Johnny2009]

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Jamesbond! Thanks for the completely useless information!!

[Shadow]

I hope that you have informed the original poster and gotten the permission to put the material on another board.

As for the rest, better you stay hungry. 

[Turboguy]

 Right now, I am dating a Brazilian GF in New Jersey . I live in New York so it's really like a 30 miles distance. She is hot, 29 years old, big round ass and ohhhhhh very nice body. I got her easily like 3 days after meeting .. we went intimate..very spontaneous which I like. The only thing is, ooh no, I still think about this RW...crazy.

Makes me glad I never got much into Brazilian women.   They must not be very smart.  I always thought RW were more educated than the average Latino but I thought the intelligence factor was not much different.   Guess I was wrong.

[remiel6]

1. for someone claiming to be an unattached budhist you sure seem to be spending a lot of time obsessing over the one that got away. Sounds like attachment to me.

2. The way you speak of your Brazilian girlfriend, whose existence I question, it makes me wonder are you trying to find a wife or go shopping at a market. If you don't understand that statement then you need to a) grow up b) spend some time with real people c) develop a little sensitivity.

3. be aware that every single woman is unique. What will win one will not win another. Your are trying to find a life partner. Partner being the operative part of the phrase. Here's a clue, how about you pay attention to what they say to you. Every single woman I've ever met will tell you what she wants, sometimes not in so many words, but she will. The key is to listen.

[Gator]

If anybody can explain the meaning of this gibberish please respond.

I *think* the passage refers to the benefits of using the "woo and win her" approach

Because Jamesbond is Asian, I thought it was his attempt at a Yin and Yang philosophy.  However, he is all Yin and no Yang. 

[JR]

You really are bored aren't you?

[AramisLux]

as soon as you find that the OPs subject line has nothing to do with 98.6% of his very "substantive" post, you get a quick clue into just how scatterlogical the OP really is.

another clue is his confession that "I got nothing to do". who just comes out and says stuff like that?

all of this is just sooo NOT buddist; at least to me.

[JR]

"I got nothing to do". who just comes out and says stuff like that?

That reminds me of a song....goes something like this:

Counting flowers on the wall,
That don't bother me at all.
Playing Solitaire till dawn,
With a deck of fifty-one.
Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo.
Now, don't tell me I've nothing to do.

[ScottinCrimea]

jb,  RW also want a gentleman.  Your posts show you are not one.