RW's concept of time

[SunnyAK]

Being late is rude and disrespectful towards the people who are waiting for you. That's how I see it. Unfortunately, it seems like people who are always on time are a minority. 

[Daveman]

...BTW, misbehaving children in good restaurants is a pet peeve of mine.  ....I have actually complained to the management of some restaurants that "If I had wanted to go to Chucky Cheese, I would not have come to their restaurant."
KenC

 
 
Same here... IMO, if a child is disturbing others, the party should be asked to leave (or at least furnish those little hand held air horns to all other patrons so we can surround the table and blast them at high volume so they'll get the freakin' point).  I have made the exact same complaint also using Chucky Cheese as an example.  Funny.  This is a major issue of mine and something that I no longer tolerate. If I am at a decent restaurant and precocious children disturb me, I inform the management and leave.  My ex and I didn't tolerate such behavior from our kids (my stepchildren) so I sure as hell have no intention of tolerating it from someone else's little genetic mutations. 

If I had this behavior, i.e., disturbing other guests, of course I'd be asked to leave so it should be no different with children who disturb others.  I'm tired of the "they're only children" excuse.  If parents are told to get the hell out a couple of times, they'll either do something about the behavior, or stop bringing their children. Either way we get to eat in peace.

And on an airplane, there should be a special trap door to just toss 'em out..  :evil:

[Faux Pas]

I have read this thread with some interest and the reason for the interest is I know only a couple of people who are habitually or chronically late. Most of my friends and colleagues are punctual for the most part as am I. To me, set times and appointments are designated for a reason. I generally don't accept tardiness for too long before that person is no longer invited to "my" party, function, business meeting or whatever.

There is always the exception for people who are late but once it becomes a habit they are re-classified in my mind. Habitual tardiness is a strong show of disrespect and I just do not care to associate with people who clearly disrespect me. IMHO 

[KenC]

Faux Pas,
I know I made jokes and indicated games I had to play with Lena's habitual lateness, but inside I was insulted with her open disregard to my schedule and embarrassed to be constantly late for functions.  I even left the house without her a few times, but it never cured the problem.
KenC

[Mars]

Habitual tardiness is a strong show of disrespect and I just do not care to associate with people who clearly disrespect me. IMHO 

And yet, as we read here, it is habitual with many FSUW.
Do you distinguish between tardiness in people arriving at a designated time vs FSUW who are tardy in getting ready to go to an event with you?

[KenC]

And yet, as we read here, it is habitual with many FSUW.
Do you distinguish between tardiness in people arriving at a designated time vs FSUW who are tardy in getting ready to go to an event with you?

Mars,
After you attempt to correct this behavior, you either live with it or not.  What other choice do you have?
KenC

[Faux Pas]

KenC

I fully understand. I was married to one just like that (AW). That wasn't the reason for the divorce but it didn't help. I just have no tolerance for the chronic lateness. I have had relationships with AW in the past that ended for this very reason. I have still good friends I will not make plans with or invite for this reason. If it's an employee they enter the legal stair steps to termination.

Trust me, I'm really not an anal retentive kind of guy but there is only so much of that kind of in your face insult I'll put up with.

Mars, it's habitual with many people and obviously tolerated by too many thus enabling. Those who do it don't know or care how infuriating it really is. Maybe it is seen as a bigger problem in the FSU and maybe but theres a problem here as well IMO

[Misha]

As is often the case, I don't have any issues with my wife's concept of time. This was true when dating and it true now. She always showed up at the agreed upon time before marriage, and haven't had any problems in the past three years of married life either.

[Daveman]

The first lady I met had zero conceptual perspective of time whatsoever.  "I'll be there in 30 minutes" could mean she'd show up 3 hours later.  One day I left prior to her arrival and about an hour later I got a phone call "where are you? bla bla bla bla bla".. so told her I was hungry, tired of waiting for her, would not tolerate this nonsense and went to eat without her.  She showed up at the restaurant still a bit put off as I was already eating. She also moved into the flat with me that night (not suggesting that this is any kind solution to the problem, but it did happen that way).  She was not late again on that visit, but I doubt very seriously if that "change of behavior" would have lasted long term. It's more of a attitude and mindset.

The others were pretty much on time.  Sometimes early, sometimes a little late but not drastic, would call if delayed, etc. Normal polite, considerate behavior as far as I could tell.

I think perhaps this behavior manifests itself around us (as an observational group) a little more because of the type of women many guys in this pursuit chase -- that spoiled Pretty Princess and accompanying syndrome.  Those AW princesses are just as self centered, empowered by the world of ME, inconsiderate of others, etc., as their FSU sisters.  I could be wrong, but highly doubt it. 

BF does have some wonderful points, and could very well be spot on in many cases.  Probably so.  Thought I also think that many cases of this type of behavior can be attributed to the narcissism of the Princess syndrome.   

[Faux Pas]

Anyone can be late at anytime for any plethora of reasons. Pooh happens. It's forgivable and we move on but the habitual lateness is a personality flaw and probably, I don't know eludes to what BF mentioned.

I've ripped my doctor a new one on more than one occasion. I haven't waited in his waiting room in probably 7-8 years now. The thing for me is, nobody should be exempt unless it is something that couldn't be helped 

[Daveman]

Anyone can be late at anytime for any plethora of reasons. Pooh happens. It's forgivable and we move on but the habitual lateness is a personality flaw and probably, I don't know eludes to what BF mentioned.

I've ripped my doctor a new one on more than one occasion. I haven't waited in his waiting room in probably 7-8 years now. The thing for me is, nobody should be exempt unless it is something that couldn't be helped 

I agree.  I sent a detailed invoice to my doctor for my wait time once.  Of course he didn't pay it, but it did get the point across. 

on a more conceptual note:
Behavior, including p/a, is symptomatic of the underlying attitude based on the individual system of beliefs (whether chosen, taught, learned, or programmed by environmental default).  The beliefs/values/internal Pavlov programming/whateverLabelUsed is the cause.  While the P/A behavior is probably spot on, the cause is a little farther up the food chain.

[Mars]

Mars,
After you attempt to correct this behavior, you either live with it or not.  What other choice do you have?
KenC

Ken, I was trying to get some clarification of the paradox existing wherein there is some general feeling (as iterated by Faux Pas) "Habitual tardiness is a strong show of disrespect and I just do not care to associate with people who clearly disrespect me" existing simultaneously with men's desire to pursue FSUW who display exactly these disrespectful traits.

But your answer of 'live with it or not' covers all options, so there are no other 'choices.'  :-))

[AnastassiaAsh]

I absolutely hate this too, it's just so disrespectful. I have been late probably just a couple of times in my whole life and even then because of traffic or something that was out of my control. And I call too. Maybe it depends on a person's character too, I am a very 'quick' person. 

[ECOCKS]

In business I have experienced some posturing where they insist on keeping you waiting a bit but are upset if you were late arriving in the lobby.

Mostly the women I dated were on time or slightly early.

That said, I fully understand the getting ready for bed. My wife has about a 30-40 minute routine because she showers before bed and as soon as she has her first cup of black tea in the morning. Before the evening shower though, she's doing a quick facial and then brushing out her hair after the shower.

I also agree wholeheartedly with the comment that this seems to be a trait in younger women which (perhaps) fades with maturity.