cultural difference question

[Faux Pas]

i guess this is the conceptual cultural difference. Or as we say in Russia "love was invented so as some people can avoid spending money".

For me being romantic means not counting every cent spent on a spouse or spent together. Because in the end - money is not what matters. Money are ashes.

Money is basically just "stuff" that must be dealt with swiftly with precision, protected and careful to whom you trust with it. Kind of like that old picture of your grand parents where only one copy exists. Money is only a measure of wealth it is not a measure of a person.

[GQBlues]

  No I did not lie to her.

The TRUTH is out there...

You haven't met this woman - yet you're confident she knows you're really generous, yet at the same time tell us you're frugal - except now you're neither. Instead, you are now Mr. Clever..IMO, little wonder she's a bit confused and suspecting.

So to set the record straight, you're frugal/generous/clever and you don't keep up with the Joneses' - yet you'll buy her a house/car/jet/island if she asked for it after she arrives........just like her friends'. Okidokee.

The housing bubble started the current financial crisis, Correct?

Not exactly. My version is, mid-90s Credit Default Swap / CFMA of 2000 / mid-2000 Real Estate boom - in that order, at least in my opinion. You should read about it, it's pretty interesting.

I believe the next crisis is going to rest on business and commercial loans.

Not if China can help it....besides, the big guy in the big office in a big house may also want to take a swaggle at that too with his Eurostyle-Carbon-copy policies...I would bet your shrinking dollar value to my 50 cents that hyper-inflation will soon be knocking on your door with a bill on hand written in Mandarin and laughing itself silly hearing you believe they'll let commercialism die in a society where 67% of its GDP is found in consumerism, in which, ironically enough - they're happily supplying. The more money we make, the more money THEY make. How nifty is that, eh? We have an IOU that's far more daunting than the number of bricks that make up the Great Wall, Bigdeg.

Anyway, the bottom line is, if you were so sure you had nothing to worry about in the first place - then why did worry about it in the first place?

Reminds of that silly line in a commercial, "Once he felt awkward....just so he knows what it feels like!"

[boaterguy]

that would be a little digression from OP's discussion - but wanted to elaborate on this topic. If buying ready-made, especially designer clothes - buying in USA on sale season is a sure deal. Most of my many jeans are really nice, and i paid full price of hundred $ only for one pair. For the rest - i paid in the range 4-20$ for each. Not bad ) In Ukraine every pair of jeans of same brand and model would be at least $150.
in case with business suits - situation is different. It's quite hard to find in US sales on female wool business suits, of good quality, of normal sizes (my normal sizes I mean anything below sz 8, or even sz 12).  In Ukraine with fabric I can have tailor-made suit for $50. In USA - i will never find a suit for that price, of my size, of same quality. I would not even find a synthetic blend suit for this money - forget nice soft wool suit. So in case of suits - it's cheaper to get perfectly fit a tailor-made suit in Ukraine/Russia than to buy a ready-made suit in USA.  

Mies, You hit my wife's biggest problem dead on! Her biggest problem is finding the smaller sizes. My mom also has this problem. I think it's a racket. The stores penalize the ladiesz who are not overweight. The smaller sizes rarely are available onsale...only 12-infinity! 

[mies]

...

is that a black russian terrier on your photo?

[mies]

Money is basically just "stuff" that must be dealt with swiftly with precision, protected and careful to whom you trust with it. Kind of like that old picture of your grand parents where only one copy exists. Money is only a measure of wealth it is not a measure of a person.

about trusting the money to other people - there is a wonderful quote from Isaak Babel "Don't trust people. Don't have friends. Don't give them money. Don't give them your heart."

That raises an interesting question. I'll probably open another topic here.

[mies]

Mies, You hit my wife's biggest problem dead on! Her biggest problem is finding the smaller sizes. My mom also has this problem. I think it's a racket. The stores penalize the ladiesz who are not overweight. The smaller sizes rarely are available onsale...only 12-infinity!  

for casual wear - t-shirts/pants/shorts/skirts etc - teenage sections are helpful. They have big sizes too, but easier to find something normal. jeans - just browse around. The only problem - teenage stores rarely have natural fabrics. When i see my size cheap - i buy it and store in closet until i need it/until proper occasion comes. For me it's easier this way.
But with suits- that's true - a real problem. In several years in USA i saw only few suits/jackets that fit me, and are priced reasonably. I know that for higher price it's possible to find virtually anything - of any size/style/quality, but i feel down when i have to pay much for a piece of cloth.  

[Blues Fairy]

But with suits- that's true - a real problem. In several years in USA i saw only few suits/jackets that fit me, and are priced reasonably.

Banana Republic is the answer to your troubles: http://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/category.do?cid=5013   
I am usually able to get sale-priced size 2 suit pants and jackets without a problem.  I still have a suit I bought there in 2007, awesome fit and quality!

[bigdeg]

The TRUTH is out there...

You haven't met this woman - yet you're confident she knows you're really generous, yet at the same time tell us you're frugal - except now you're neither. Instead, you are now Mr. Clever..IMO, little wonder she's a bit confused and suspecting.

So to set the record straight, you're frugal/generous/clever and you don't keep up with the Joneses' - yet you'll buy her a house/car/jet/island if she asked for it after she arrives........just like her friends'. Okidokee.

Not exactly. My version is, mid-90s Credit Default Swap / CFMA of 2000 / mid-2000 Real Estate boom - in that order, at least in my opinion. You should read about it, it's pretty interesting.

Not if China can help it....besides, the big guy in the big office in a big house may also want to take a swaggle at that too with his Eurostyle-Carbon-copy policies...I would bet your shrinking dollar value to my 50 cents that hyper-inflation will soon be knocking on your door with a bill on hand written in Mandarin and laughing itself silly hearing you believe they'll let commercialism die in a society where 67% of its GDP is found in consumerism, in which, ironically enough - they're happily supplying. The more money we make, the more money THEY make. How nifty is that, eh? We have an IOU that's far more daunting than the number of bricks that make up the Great Wall, Bigdeg.

Anyway, the bottom line is, if you were so sure you had nothing to worry about in the first place - then why did worry about it in the first place?

Reminds of that silly line in a commercial, "Once he felt awkward....just so he knows what it feels like!"

Thank You sir, Youre post has enlightened me.
I originally posted here because I had a question about a cultural difference, and I got some very helpful replies. I don't think I am lying about anything, and I thank you for your schooling.

[docetae]

Banana Republic is the answer to your troubles: http://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/category.do?cid=5013   
I am usually able to get sale-priced size 2 suit pants and jackets without a problem.  I still have a suit I bought there in 2007, awesome fit and quality!

Try jacob shop too.  I don't know if they are in US. URL: http://www.jacob.ca/

[Mars]

for casual wear - t-shirts/pants/shorts/skirts etc - teenage sections are helpful.

Good advice.  Look in the teenage section of stores.  Womens sizes go like 2, 4, 6, 8.
Girls sizes are 3, 5, 7, 9.

I bought one of my FSUW some jeans in girls size 3 which is close to women's size 4 (or maybe it was 2, can't remember now which way the approximate equivalency went).  But in any event, there is usually much better selection of girl's size three than women's size 4.

And as to why this is:  Well it is only common sense and good marketing.  The average AW is something like size 14 as I recall reading.  So manufacturers and retailers make good business decisions to produce and stock for their normal customers; not for some hypothetical size that men prefer.

[mies]

Banana Republic is the answer to your troubles: http://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/category.do?cid=5013  
I am usually able to get sale-priced size 2 suit pants and jackets without a problem.  I still have a suit I bought there in 2007, awesome fit and quality!

yes! this is great brand thank you - i do buy pants and skirts from them sometimes. 0 or 00 size. My problem is with jackets - maybe my frame is non-standard. I'm quite tall, and due to sports/swimming from early childhood - have well-developed chest (not boobs - the ribs/frame) and shoulders. Not too wide, just normal/proportional for my height. So when i try jackets from BR - for my shoulders and chest i need size 2 (at least). and for my waist - even size 0 of BR is always too wide.  (  
I do buy BR sweaters in xs
the jackets that fit me - were by some mid-priced teenage brand, and one my fav from Escada - probably it spent several years in the warehouse and in the back of the store on racks - so it was discounted 90%. but i would never buy Escada for the full price in clear/healthy mind -  a grand for a wool dress jacket- that's completely crazy.

Try jacob shop too.  I don't know if they are in US. URL: http://www.jacob.ca/

thank you! checking the website - looks cool!

[DKMM]

You sound like my wife Mies, my wife learned to buy kids clothes here after months of frustration looking for xs that were long enough.  I also didn't know about size "00" until I met her (its the size below zero). 

Since then I helped her put on weight to get to regular zero.  If only I put on five pounds instead of 20 since she came!   :noidea:

[mies]

You sound like my wife Mies, my wife learned to buy kids clothes here after months of frustration looking for xs that were long enough.  I also didn't know about size "00" until I met her (its the size below zero). 

Since then I helped her put on weight to get to regular zero.  If only I put on five pounds instead of 20 since she came!   :noidea:

say my greetings to your wife

[Gator]

is that a black russian terrier on your photo?

Viking did not answer, yet he and I have discussed them.  The dogs are indeed Black Russian Terriers, and they were born in Russia. 

[mies]

Thank you. I am interested in this dog - as a future/potential "family dog". But don't know whether it's good for this purpose so wanted to collect some opinions.

[JR]

There's always the danger that she's so concerned with status that she'll constantly compare your living standard to that of her friends'. My wife and I have a few friends like that - women who receive gifts of jewelry from their BFs and withold an opinion about it until they can determine how much it cost.  But you should be able to pick up on this as you get to know her better.

Take this little piece of advice as gospel. It is dead on. It describes my ex to perfection. And it isn't fun to live with...

[CallMeSasha]

Take this little piece of advice as gospel. It is dead on. It describes my ex to perfection. And it isn't fun to live with...

whilst i salute the RW i know for being ambitious, i do agree that they are never happy with what they have and always want more & are very status orientated.

they always seem to have the mentality that they are always missing out on something or other. perhaps this is due to the communist upbringing?

they all seem to be "living the dream". to answer my rhetoric, yes why settle for the middle rung when you can be at the top of the ladder, however i don't understand why this is such a common trait amongst RW? the vast majority of "westerners" that i know are middle-income & the vast majority of them are happy to have a loving family, own a house, car etc go on holiday once or twice a year and not be in debt - a lifestyle that many others would be envious of

[Faux Pas]

whilst i salute the RW i know for being ambitious, i do agree that they are never happy with what they have and always want more & are very status orientated.

they always seem to have the mentality that they are always missing out on something or other. perhaps this is due to the communist upbringing?

they all seem to be "living the dream". to answer my rhetoric, yes why settle for the middle rung when you can be at the top of the ladder, however i don't understand why this is such a common trait amongst RW? the vast majority of "westerners" that i know are middle-income & the vast majority of them are happy to have a loving family, own a house, car etc go on holiday once or twice a year and not be in debt - a lifestyle that many others would be envious of

That also describes many AW and AM that I know 

[mies]

I have another cultural question, in no way related to money, but clearly related to cultural aspect of life.

Is it impolite to ask an American his/her age? I never had this problem with American women - they all are cool about telling their age. But when it happens that I ask a male his age - some never respond and look uncomfortable, some say that this is very personal question. I mean - i have no intent of getting personal - for me it's just a regular question - to know whom I am talking to, to know a person little better.

Could you please advise me on this topic? I definitely do not want to appear rude to people around me. Just realized my curiosity may be an issue for some people.

[Misha]

Is it impolite to ask an American his/her age?

I am not American, but would not have any problem answering that question if asked. I am 40.

[mies]

Thank you Misha

[JR]

I would bet your shrinking dollar value to my 50 cents that hyper-inflation will soon be knocking on your door

This kinda answers your "cultural difference" question bigdeg. What good will your devalued dollars be in any relationship be after the "Hoover vaccuum cleaner" of inflation gets thru with it. You better have more than money to get you thru any relationship. '

And GQ: I'd place the problem further back to the inception of the Federal Reserve and the fiat currency system it brought to us. There are no examples of a fiat currency remaining solvent, they alway inflate, hyper-inflate then repudiate.

[Faux Pas]

I have another cultural question, in no way related to money, but clearly related to cultural aspect of life.

Is it impolite to ask an American his/her age? I never had this problem with American women - they all are cool about telling their age. But when it happens that I ask a male his age - some never respond and look uncomfortable, some say that this is very personal question. I mean - i have no intent of getting personal - for me it's just a regular question - to know whom I am talking to, to know a person little better.

Could you please advise me on this topic? I definitely do not want to appear rude to people around me. Just realized my curiosity may be an issue for some people.

Generally no, it isn't impolite. However, it is considered impolite for a man to ask a woman her age. I guess this is an American phenomena. Most American woman  (over 30-35) do seem offended if you ask them their age. doesn't seem to be such a big deal if one woman ask another but for a man is near taboo

[mies]

Generally no, it isn't impolite. However, it is considered impolite for a man to ask a woman her age. I guess this is an American phenomena. Most American woman  (over 30-35) do seem offended if you ask them their age. doesn't seem to be such a big deal if one woman ask another but for a man is near taboo

Thank you Faux Pas. This holds true for russian culture as well - it is considered somewhat impolite for a man to ask a woman her age. I got puzzled mostly because I was getting this strange reaction to my question continuously from men in USA.

[BillyB]

 
 Me:I do not need my wife to work, I am not rich but have good job.
 Her: What kind of house do you own?
 Me: I rent an apartment, it is nice.
 Her: If you can't afford a house, how will you provide for me?
 Me: I have a good job and money in the bank.
 Her: What kind of car do you have?
 Me: I have two old cars.
 Her: Why do you not get a new one, if you have money in the bank?

 You get the point...How do I explain this to a woman who's girlfriends have both came here on K-1's to very nice houses, but also very big payments?

I hope you're not putting all your eggs in one basket because she's not. She's asking questions to decide to advance with you or to move on. She knows her worth and she's may be looking for a man who'd give her the most bang for the buck and keep her in style and have some bragging rights with her friends. You need to make decisions yourself. You need to find a woman who can accept your lifestyle if it's indeed modest. Keep being honest with what you earn, what you drive, and who you are. You'll also scare away most gold diggers.