90 % of them have russian boyfriend

[eurosun]

I just landed on this site today, my wife is Ukrainian and for my experience in the last 3 years I decided to give some lights and maybe help the newbies. After a quick look on RWD I didn't found information about this issue. If it's still posted, sorry to everybody.

Just because the girls have posted her profile on the internet doesn't not mean in anyway they are at home with their arms crossed waiting for you to call or email her. For sure she have real life and of course real boyfriend (russian), some aware of their girlfriends life. Even if we can't say it's a scam runned by her, because she can be real honest about future and all, but it's almost sure that SHE HAVE RUSSIAN BOYFRIEND. Don't believe in pink stories like "I had boyfriend but he went away...", she is thinking only in not loosing your contact.

I know a few of them in Kharkov (Ukraine) who have real life and two are in fact married there, and the info still posted on internet. So, she is hopping to get contact with better future "options" ?? Or she is only playing to get extra $$$ ???  Anyway, go slow with any girl you start and try to check always her information against black lists.

Life there isn't so bad as usually they describe, many of them already have computer at home and if not, brother, sister or cousin have. You can always ask more and more photos and her information, if she is REAL then she will not have problem in sending to you and you also get stronger base about her.

With time I can try to return and post more info. If anyone wants more info or just some help, I can try to give any help as possible.

Regards

Jose

 

[BC]

Welcome eurosun.. welcome to the growing group on this continent

I'm sure some men do have illusions that if a woman is advertising for overseas 'posting' they chastely disregard the local guys.  Romantic letters and even a short visit will not guarantee an exclusive relationship.

Considering  the long K1/3 CA, AU imigration processes that 'ocean divided' endure, I wonder how many on either side 'rationalize' a temporary fling or two while biding time.  Temptation is obviously a factor to consider.

[Bruno]

Romantic letters and even a short visit will not guarantee an exclusive relationship.

Yep, i have live this situation these year in Ukraine ( Trip report with Galina )... but what is wrong with this... in some way, we make the same... if we have find some interesting lady, we continue the hunting, in the hope to find better... until the commitment, everybody is free to make what he wish... both women and men.

 

[anono]

not only do they have boyfriends...

last october, i was being lightly "interrogated" by a girl who lives just outside of kiev. she acted as if all us men ar meeting sooo many ladies....

just a few hours ago i just saw the same girl, same terp, meeting at the same TGIF i met her just over a month ago...

i also posted about one girl i met who excused herself to "go home" only to see her hours later at yet another pectopa with yet another man...

many of these ladies are far busier than some of the men....

i have always said these ladies are not sitting at home dreaming of some idiot american sweeping them off their feet...

[Marc Dayton]

So when you go to Russia our your going to save some poor lonely RW from a life of being on her hands and knees cleaning her home?

Do you think any woman in this world or the next is just waiting for your call?

 

Is it O.K. for her to sit home like a dog wagging its tail with news paper in hand wile your out meeting other woman or writing other women?

News flash for you she lives a real life with real needs if you our looking for a fairytale read a Childs book.

 

You always need to check blacklist sites



Just think if you like the way she looks so do others, she has a life in Russian, and she will live it. Do you have a girl that you see from time to time, but you know she is not the one for marriage

[Albert]

I agree mostly, but some exceptions.  It always raises my ire a bit when I see some numbers or percentages posted about some general population.  Yes, a guy could date 10 women and then report reliably that 9 of them seemed to have local boyfriends.  But then to make comment that 90% of FSU women have local boyfriends . . . . just not enough of a sample to assert that.  And even where sample is large enough, it has to be randomly chosen to make statistical assertations.

So I just don't know how many have local boyfriends, at least during the period that a given western guy may be trying to court a given FSU woman.

I do know that several of my dates (aged 35-50) have stated that they had only had sex maybe twice in past year.  And I tended to believe them.  I wasn't hanging my hat on those assertations, and it really wasn't of any concern to me, but I still tended to believe them.

I also was involved in 3 very funny (as it turned out) situations where the women were still technically married, yet they indicated some concern about my seeing other women.  Two of these women actually were still living in apartment with husbands although they were essentially living in separate rooms while still sharing bathroom and kitchen.

I say technically married because the women and men had decided the marriage was over but hadn't gotten around to filing all the paperwork.  Over there it is somewhat different than in western world because of the housing situation.  In Soviet times, everyone was assigned a place to live.  Husband and wife could get divorce, but after divorce they were still assigned to same apartment . . . until one of them could get reassigned.  So many saw no reason to move ahead with the divorce until something could be done regarding finding place to one party to live.

Since early 1990s, many in FSU were given the title to formerly state owned apartments.  But still there was the question of finding alternative housing (which isn't as easy to come up with there as in west).  And even more complications was that often several generations of the family lived in the small apartments.  This meant that the divorcing parties might be faced with finding other housing for not just the leaving spouse, but for mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, etc.  Because of this, many couples that are divorced 'in their mind' continue to live in same apartment unit.

One of my most favorite gals was in this latter category.  Only after we spent about 15 days together did she decide to move ahead with finalizing the divorce.  I told her she didn't need to hurry because of me.  But she did and it helped her move on to a very good situation.  She actually gave up more than what would be her total legal percentage of the selling proceeds to the sold apartment, but took the proceeds, borrowed from family, friends, etc., (but not me) and purchased another apartment.  This apartment has now doubled in value in just 2 years, she was able to get refinancing from a bank loan (not obtainable originally), paid back all those who loaned her money and now all appreciation will be hers rather than be shared with former husband and his mother as was case with prior apartment.  So she thanks me often for giving her the incentive to take this very difficult path (divorce, fighting with inlaws about who is to get what from proceeds, finding new apartment, putting in much labor on it, etc.), even though we are not currently in an exclusive relationship.

Anyway, all of this may be a little off the topic, but something to be aware of.

On the main thrust of original post . . . . . I think these women have the full right to have local boyfriends (maybe even husbands) . . . . . . right up to the point that they accept your marriage proposal.

[al-c]

And how many of us live like priests waiting for that RW to come into your life?  Not me, that's for sure.  What about you?  If we can do it, why can't they?

 

[Journeyman]

Albert,

After getting to know a large number of women in the FSU since 2001 (maybe 150+), I do have a pretty good sample size. However, my sample was for ladies under 35, rather than your sample of 35 to 50.  A little different, I'm sure.

For ladies under 35, in my experience, you must assume that they have one or more local boyfriends, and possibly others with whom they might just have sex.  And they will continue to hedge their bets until they receive a visa and plane ticket, and then finally step onto the plane.  

Oh, actually, that is not true, since my own ex-fiancee (a classic green-card girl) actually emailed other guys from my home computer, and was preparing to receive money from one of her Russian boyfiends back home.  I think she was actually planning to try to bring him over after a quick divorce from me.  

I've had several relationships with RW over the years, and they all "induldged" when I wasn't around, and of course, denied it.  I'm not going to explain how I found out -- it was different in each case.  

Also, like Anono, I have also been accused by a few RW as being a playboy, even while the girls maintained their profiles on multiple web sites.  That is, I learned how the RW act when they are feeling defensive -- to accuse you of the same or worse (best defense is a strong offense).  

What has been more interesting it to have listened to those ex-girlfriends as they spoke about their other girl friends in their own city.  They were routinely described as having local boyriends, while also being courted by more than one foreign man at the same time.  They got money from the foreign men, and sex from their local boyfriend(s).  Hellava deal!  Again, that was the Russian women talking about the other local Russian women.  

Chastity is not the issue, and not even deception (under these circumstances).  Rather, as Eurosun suggested when he started this topic -- the real sin is to insist on remaining naive about this during your relationship.

I'll quote again the unforgettable quote I heard from a 50-ish Ukrainian woman living in America with her Ukrainian husband ..... speaking about the younger and available Ukrainian ladies back in Ukraine ..... "Ahhkk! They are all actresses."

Journeyman

[2tallbill]

I know a few of them in Kharkov (Ukraine) who have real life and two are in fact married there, and the info still posted on internet. So, she is hopping to get contact with better future "options" ?? Or she is only playing to get extra $$$ ???  Anyway, go slow with any girl you start and try to check always her information against black lists.

Life there isn't so bad as usually they describe, many of them already have computer at home and if not, brother, sister or cousin have. You can always ask more and more photos and her information, if she is REAL then she will not have problem in sending to you and you also get stronger base about her.

I'm sure some men do have illusions that if a woman is advertising for overseas 'posting' they chastely disregard the local guys.  Romantic letters and even a short visit will not guarantee an exclusive relationship.

The simple solution is to stay away from the MOB industry and to go after "Regular FSUW"
If you go on a visit many search meet with women with no ties to the industry then you
will more likely find a woman interested in meeting you, rather than juggling you and
their local guy(s)

I understand.
It's far easier to find women to date from a pool that are actually searching for international men.
If you are the insecure type, then you will worry about the girls more than I would. You need to
have sufficient social skills to be able to read women.

In addition, you have to understand that a real FSU boyfriend is not going to approve of you
either. If you meet a girl in person, spend a week to ten days with her, ride her like a stolen
bicycle, etc.  There is no way a local guy is going to be OK with that.

If she has a local guy, she will need to disappear for days on end. She won't be Skyping
with you every evening before she goes to bed.

Before she meets you in person, you are likely one of many. After a visit where things go
great and you are now on Whatsapp every night. You still need to keep pushing things
along, this is a fragile time. I would plan my next trip with Angel Eyes before I left.

If you go home, and don't show her that things are moving long, then whe will move on.

FSUW long a man of action, be a man of action!

[2tallbill]

I do know that several of my dates (aged 35-50) have stated that they had only had sex maybe twice in past year.  And I tended to believe them.  I wasn't hanging my hat on those assertations, and it really wasn't of any concern to me, but I still tended to believe them.

On the main thrust of original post . . . . . I think these women have the full right to have local boyfriends (maybe even husbands) . . . . . . right up to the point that they accept your marriage proposal.

Albert was dating rather than seeking specifically to find a wife. His comments while interesting aren't really very relevant.
He didn't tell any woman that he was pursuing her for the purpose of seeking a wife. Therefore none of them saw him in that
light.

He didn't keep going back to see one girl. He didn't talk to her daily after he went home. None of those girls should have even
considered being exclusive with him.