Meeting with a Pro-Dater. My Story.

[Misha]

You talked about women seeking 'stability' above, as do many men on this forum. What's the difference between 'stability' and the 'material basics of a relationship'?

No, you are right. However, the impression that I got from the tone of the post is that the mother would be advising the woman to seek more than stability, rather encouraging her daughter to use men as a means for financial gain. But, you are right in that perhaps this is not the meaning that was intended.

[Jooky]

Yeah, I think you're misinterpreting the statement. I've heard the same statement in Russia, and it's not about taking advantage of a man or seeking a rich oligarch, but rather finding a stable man who can hold down a decent job and take care of a family. That's all.

My observation is that Russian men do tend to flaunt their wealth and spoil their women more so than men in the US. (Not to mention the Turks who seem to bombard every Russian girl I know online with gifts and promises of riches!).

The point is, hot young tall blonde model types are likely to get chased and spoiled by rich guys anyways. They're not being 'ruined' by foreign dorks, and if they're the type to take advantage of a sucker, there's not much to 'ruin' in the first place.

[Misha]

My observation is that Russian men do tend to flaunt their wealth and spoil their women more so than men in the US.

Reminds me of a friend my wife spoke to me about. A young woman in St-Pete had found herself a rich boyfriend. He took her to Cuba, he bought her lots of expensive clothes, and sure he "spoiled" her. She was quite proud of her new status. That is, until her dumped her, kicked her out and likely found a new gf within a matter of days or weeks  :evil: A smart RW will understand that being showered with gifts does not equal the stability of marriage to a man who loves you  The trick is finding a smart RW and not fall for the stupid ones who equate being showered with gifts and love.

They're not being 'ruined' by foreign dorks, and if they're the type to take advantage of a sucker, there's not much to 'ruin' in the first place.

I agree with you. If a foreigner is too stupid or naive and insists on "dating" such women, he has nobody to blame but himself. 

[KenC]

Misha,
I don't know how much intelligence has to do with this issue (your "smart vs. stupid" comments).  I believe it has everything to do with morals and character not IQ.
KenC

[Misha]

Misha,
I don't know how much intelligence has to do with this issue (your "smart vs. stupid" comments).  I believe it has everything to do with morals and character not IQ.
KenC

I reread the comments and will stand by them. It takes a certain wisdom for a woman to understand that a man must be judged not solely by the gifts he gives. Fortunately, there were many women in Russia that I could date, and I could avoid those whose main motivation in dating was pecuniary.

[KenC]

Misha,
I do see your point within the parameters of your statement.  However, I do not see where IQ is relevant to morals and character in the scope of our over all conversation here.  There are smart pro-daters and dumb ones too.  It is the lack of morals and or character that leads them to pull the scams IMO.
KenC

[RussianWind]

I have yet to meet any woman in Russia in these past 15 or so years who has received either a car or an apartment.

Congratulations! You finally met such a woman. Though I didn't accept the gift as it was too expensive for a couple of months relationship 

[Misha]

I do see your point within the parameters of your statement.  However, I do not see where IQ is relevant to morals and character in the scope of our over all conversation here.  There are smart pro-daters and dumb ones too.  It is the lack of morals and or character that leads them to pull the scams IMO.
KenC

I see your point Ken. You are right in that there are some pro-daters who are more gifted/smarter than others. Usually, they will be the ones who will seek to gain some long-term benefits from their dating. I still don't have much sympathy for the men who spend and then complain. Men decide when to spend or not to spend, and if a woman pulls out the "RW men would do this for me" line, I would simply recommending telling such women to go find themselves a Russian boyfriend  To be honest, if a woman was capable of dating oligarchs buying them apartments, why in heaven's name would they be seeking dates with foreigners.

[RussianWind]

To be honest, if a woman was capable of dating oligarchs buying them apartments, why in heaven's name would they be seeking dates with foreigners.

Some want a man with different mentality.

[Misha]

Some want a man with different mentality.

In that case, they should not be expecting the men with a different mentality to live up to the standards of the mythical RM spending his last kopek  As it goes, you can't have your cake and eat it too...

[RussianWind]

the mythical RM spending his last kopek 

I don't know anything about RM spending his last kopeek, never met them and never heard of them. They are probably a myth as well as the perfect man is a mythical creature too 

[Misha]

They are probably a myth as well as the perfect man is a mythical creature too 

[Jooky]

To be honest, if a woman was capable of dating oligarchs buying them apartments, why in heaven's name would they be seeking dates with foreigners.

They don't, but their friends who hear these stories and dream of their own oligarch prince but can't get him settle for the next best thing, a foreign sucka.

[Makkin]

  I am not mythical at all....."I am the perfect man".lol


Makkin

[Misha]

They don't, but their friends who hear these stories and dream of their own oligarch prince but can't get him settle for the next best thing, a foreign sucka.

And as the saying goes, there is one of those born every minute 

[Gator]

This discussion started on the subject of pro-dating.  Buying a car or an apartment is not pro-dating. 

My guess is that most pro-daters do not want to be involved with a man seriously enough where the subject of a car would arise. 

[BillyB]

This discussion started on the subject of pro-dating.  Buying a car or an apartment is not pro-dating.  

My guess is that most pro-daters do not want to be involved with a man seriously enough where the subject of a car would arise.  

I suspect pro dating can be taken to the level of men buying women cars and apartments. I got a few PM's from men who's talked to women in the inside of agencies that said that some women in there go out with guys and get what they can out of them. Maybe sex is part of the deal, maybe not.

Here's a story that enters into the pro dater/scammer territory of a man who's visited his RW occasionally and financially supported her. A pro dater may not get serious in a relationship with a man but she may let him believe she is just to continue to get what she wants.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=10015.0


I'll add one more thing and that is I have read some some men buying their women cars and putting them up in an apartment only to have the relationship dissolve without getting to the point of marriage. Maybe the woman's a pro dater, scammer, or just enjoys the role of being a mistress with benefits.

[JR]

  I am not mythical at all....."I am the perfect man".lol


Makkin

That means there are two perfect men in the world

[RussianWind]

That means there are two perfect men in the world

Three. You forgot Santa Claus. He also doesn't exist.

[JR]

Three. You forgot Santa Claus. He also doesn't exist.

Don't tell that to my daughter! But then she loves me and thinks I'm perfect too so I guess it's a matter of perception

[Handycam72]

I see this has become a big discussion

Alot of very interesting points have been made, if I had the time I would comment on alot of them. I would say alot of valuable lessons have been learnt and some great experienced people have commented.

I must add, KenC your first comment was abit aggressive, but I do agree with alot with what you subsequently said with relation to the whole Pro-Dating game

Also I know there are people here with alot of experience and have spent many years involved with the FSU and you seen so many people make the mistakes that you see time and time again, but just as you may know about them does not mean a newbie will know about them.

[Miss FSU]

With my question about reporting pro-daters I ment not the aspect of looser's IQs and moral principles but legal basics.

Is it legal to post someone's personal details in the internet without fear of being taken to the court? After reading those romancescam I got the impression that they exist just due to inability of theose posted people to suit them in US I  could assume that those prodaters are "guilty"(again what is the official name of the crime- bagging? ), but complains of some unsatisfied men is not a great evidence.

So the question is: is it crime in US to date with few people at the same and ask them for money and presents? Is it crime to post someone elses personal details(including postal adress and phone number) in the internet?

Next question. I know at least 2 cases when what you call "pro-daters" eventually married foreign guys. How we should call them?

[Gator]

Next question. I know at least 2 cases when what you call "pro-daters" eventually married foreign guys. How we should call them?

Housekeepers.  When they get a divorce, they keep the house.

Seriously, maybe they found true love and do not ask for a constant stream of presents.  Or maybe they found a wealthy man who enjoys showering his trophy wife with pretty presents.  Who knows?

[Sculpto]

So the question is: is it crime in US to date with few people at the same and ask them for money and presents?

Nope.  Its called prostitution.  So wait, yes it is a crime, if sex is exchanged for those presents and money, and, it is usaully arranged in advance so no one has unreasonable expectations.

Is it crime to post someone elses personal details(including postal adress and phone number) in the internet?

Don't know if it is or isnt, but, it happens all the time.  There are even sites now where people are posting sexual photos of their x's.  The internet is the new wild west.  If people aare going to scam or do shady things they take the risk of being exposed.  All is fair in love and war. 

Next question. I know at least 2 cases when what you call "pro-daters" eventually married foreign guys. How we should call them?

Green Card Girls.  Bigger Better Deal girls.  And very stupid men.

[valence]

So the question is: is it crime in US to date with few people at the same and ask them for money and presents? Is it crime to post someone elses personal details(including postal adress and phone number) in the internet?

The only men who post personal details in the wake of their experience are weirdos on the edge of society in the first instance.  They are sick. 

On the upside, having some contact info of these so-called 'scammers' and 'pro-daters' has enabled me to make some interesting new friends on fb.  They make *superb* neighbors in FarmVille. 

And from their side of the story, lots of those who complain about scammers are in fact creepy, lecherous, demented or in some other way marginalized.   The Dutchman who was here recently for example published details on a so-called scammer.  Sadly though, none of his stuff talked about his sneakiness, his perverse photo sessions, his paranoid rages, or his uncontrollable fits of jealousy.  Some of you people are in need of professional help!  Of the mental health kind.