K-3 getting "kicked out" by husband, need some advice for her

[boaterguy]

Wow! From my point of view the dirtbag needs to place her life back in the position it was in before she came to the US...IE he needs to set her back up in a flat and give her enough money to settle in and have quality time to find a job. I also agree she should not leave until a divorce is finalized. Too big a risk for her if she ever plans to be married again.

Sounds like they could not communicate and frustration took over. This still does not relieve the man's responsibilities.

[SMS60]

Roykirk

I dont want to sound like a broken record but.......................

Anyways, It is Ok for her to leave and go home, probally best move at the moment but I would have her or you research this GC issue before she splits.

1. She has a GC which is hidden from her?? Call USCIS and find out her status.

2. Does not have one but can easily file for one from her marriage and K3.

She is entitled to a GC. This is as good as a US passport. If she gets her life on the right course and wants to come back she can with the GC. As long as she doesnt abandon it.

I would definantly find out her immigration status before she gets on the plane. A 15 minute phone call could clear up a lot of questions.

[BC]

My wife told her that she is making decisions way too fast, but she seems set on the the direction she has chosen.  Part of the problem is how quickly this all transpired.  Apparently the blowup came Friday.  By the end of the day he had bought her and her son a ticket home for this Wednesday.  She had this looming deadline of tomorrow to either get packed and leave or buckle down in a shelter and prepare for a fight since he told her he wasn't giving her anything other than an airplane ticket.  I don't know about filing for divorce here or there, etc.  I just know she's decided to leave and I guess there's not much we can do about that. 

If you haven't already, download the draft pamphlet I posted a page back and give it to her.  At least she should be informed of all options. It is then her informed choice and whatever she does is fine.  Can she support herself settling back in?.. heck can she even get home with tickets and 50 bucks..  Just think about what her child is going through / will go through..  she has to think responsibly and not emotionally.

[Misha]

The arse of a husband will get away with causing havoc in the life of this woman and her kid that they will never forget.

Uh-huh. Plus, she will be told by all her relatives and friends that she was a fool for marrying a foreigner, that foreigners are nothing better than glorified sex tourists and should not be trusted, etc... In other words, she will likely have to live with some form of public ridicule for having married a foreigner.

[shakespear]

My wife told her that she is making decisions way too fast, but she seems set on the the direction she has chosen.  Part of the problem is how quickly this all transpired.  Apparently the blowup came Friday.  By the end of the day he had bought her and her son a ticket home for this Wednesday.  She had this looming deadline of tomorrow to either get packed and leave or buckle down in a shelter and prepare for a fight since he told her he wasn't giving her anything other than an airplane ticket.  I don't know about filing for divorce here or there, etc.  I just know she's decided to leave and I guess there's not much we can do about that. 

If she just leaves she's making a HUGE mistake.  Her husband can claim she abandoned the marriage and basically end his obligation without paying one red cent.  With a three year marriage and a competent divorce attorney, she could at least get enough money to put herself back in the position she was in before the marriage - apartment, car, ect.   

[UTRO]

Your Wife and whatever other friends she has here, need to talk to this Woman alone in person. Her rights as a PR are being violated and she's allowing her emotions to take control of the situation. Of course she wants to go home to Mama and Papa and the life she left behind. But will it be the same? Flat sold and gone forever, living with friends, having to find a job after he supported her for 3 years.
Hmmm, aside from being with family, the situation back home sounds the same as if she were to remain here.
If she does leave, she won't be doing herself or her boy any favour. Just her piece of work husband. Doing anything from the Russian side will most probably be like trying to squeeze water from a rock.

[roykirk]

Thanks everyone.  I'll pass on all this advice as strongly as I can. 

[Bluebell]

I don't understand one thing: how the same person who supported her wife during 3 years in Russia in a way that she didn't need to work, now in the US he doesn't give her money and wants to send her home with $50?

[roykirk]

I don't understand one thing: how the same person who supported her wife during 3 years in Russia in a way that she didn't need to work, now in the US he doesn't give her money and wants to send her home with $50?

 :noidea:

[acrzybear]

Roykirk

Perhaps I missed this answer, but is the child his? If so this would put a different spin on things and the judge would hold his feet to the fire during the divorce proceedings.

[Journeyman]

I see that 95% of the posters on this thread are inclined to believe that the husband is completely at fault here and needs to be held to account.  As one who as experienced the devious nature of a green card girl back in 2002, I think it is very important to have a balanced perspective on these things.  We are all inclined to help those who have been true victims, but I really don't think that it is clear from the limited details here if there is a preponderance of victimization on his side or her side.  From my own experience, I could extrapolate from the given facts and paint a picture that is equally condemning of the wife.  I simply know from experience the extreme nature of misrepresentations and dissembling in which some (and I repeat, some) women engage in order to pursue what they perceive as an opportunity to advance their interest.  So, in a effort to balance this thread, let me ask the posters to shift their perspective and imagine, for argument sake, that the preponderance of the blame is on her side.  What then?

Here is an important technical question that applies to both sides of the equation. 

1.  If she has not completed an AOS, and
2.  If she has no green card yet, and
3.  If he as probably NOT signed an I-864 agreement yet -- the I-134 submitted with the K-3 and I-130 applications being non-binding as to support), and
4.  If he were to have a divorce decree enterred by the court (on whatever terms were made a final part of the decree),

.........  what would be his obligations to her then?

1.  Can she make any claim against him for support (other than what might be included in the terms of the divorce decree)?

2.  Is he legally obligated to keep her in his home or provide alternative housing?

3.  Is he legally obligated to help her exit the country to avoid any further immigration requirements on her part to fulfill the terms of her K-3 visa?

4.  Would she have rights to assert a domestic violence charge, or could she truly sustain such an action after they were already divorced? 

5.  Could she have rights to further her immigration status if he divorced her prior to the AOS and any green card, and still assuming that his divorce was already finalized?

I think that these are questions that should be addressed also.  Any thoughts?

Journeyman

[Faux Pas]

Journeyman

All good questions but apparently a moot point. One defining element this thread missing was information but that wasn't the thrust of the thread. A respected member asks the forum for help in this situation as to how to advise this woman to proceed. Information was offered based on the limited information received. I expect the truth lies somewhere between the lady and the alleged dirtball soon to be ex-hubby. But, at the end of the day if she has in fact decided to leave and go back to Russia it doesn't make any difference.

[tfcrew]

... But, at the end of the day if she has in fact decided to leave and go back to Russia it doesn't make any difference.

And that would also demonstrate  that she is not a GC scammer as previously suggested.

[UTRO]

I see that 95% of the posters on this thread are inclined to believe that the husband is completely at fault here and needs to be held to account.  As one who as experienced the devious nature of a green card girl back in 2002, I think it is very important to have a balanced perspective on these things.  We are all inclined to help those who have been true victims, but I really don't think that it is clear from the limited details here if there is a preponderance of victimization on his side or her side.  From my own experience, I could extrapolate from the given facts and paint a picture that is equally condemning of the wife.  I simply know from experience the extreme nature of misrepresentations and dissembling in which some (and I repeat, some) women engage in order to pursue what they perceive as an opportunity to advance their interest.  So, in a effort to balance this thread, let me ask the posters to shift their perspective and imagine, for argument sake, that the preponderance of the blame is on her side.  What then?

Here is an important technical question that applies to both sides of the equation. 

1.  If she has not completed an AOS, and
2.  If she has no green card yet, and
3.  If he as probably NOT signed an I-864 agreement yet -- the I-134 submitted with the K-3 and I-130 applications being non-binding as to support), and
4.  If he were to have a divorce decree enterred by the court (on whatever terms were made a final part of the decree),

.........  what would be his obligations to her then?

1.  Can she make any claim against him for support (other than what might be included in the terms of the divorce decree)?

2.  Is he legally obligated to keep her in his home or provide alternative housing?

3.  Is he legally obligated to help her exit the country to avoid any further immigration requirements on her part to fulfill the terms of her K-3 visa?

4.  Would she have rights to assert a domestic violence charge, or could she truly sustain such an action after they were already divorced? 

5.  Could she have rights to further her immigration status if he divorced her prior to the AOS and any green card, and still assuming that his divorce was already finalized?

I think that these are questions that should be addressed also.  Any thoughts?

Journeyman

Two questions Journeyman,

How long were you married to your Wife? Or more importantly, how long were you two married before you brought her to the States?
My point being that this Russian Wife waited 3 years to come to the USA to be with her Husband.
Although we don't know the reasons behind this long wait period, was it her, was it him, was it USCIS, a combination of...?  I don't believe that there are many Green Card Scammers out there who would patiently wait 3 plus years to see such a plan to its fruition.
I would bet my last dollar that 99% of all RW Green Card Scammers gain entry on a Fiance Visa.

[tfcrew]

And then this would be the right forum for this page......
Maybe file this site away for further review

•More than 25 percent of all green cards issued in 2007 were to the spouses of American citizens. In 2006 and 2007 there were nearly twice as many green cards issued to the spouses of American citizens than were issued for all employment-based immigration categories combined. The number of foreign nationals obtaining green cards based on marriage to an American has more than doubled since 1985, and has quintupled since 1970.

http://www.cis.org/marriagefraud

[roykirk]

acrzybear:  No, the child is not his.

As to why the long wait, I was told they had lived together in Russia for most of those three years as he had a job there with an international corporation.  He got moved back to the states about a year ago and so they started making plans for her to join him here. 

FYI, we did get her in touch with an attorney, but it sounds like she still plans on leaving tomorrow morning.  It sounds like she's overwhelmed with humiliation right now, and I'm guessing that hanging around here any longer is just too much for her to comprehend. 

[Sculpto]

Throwing her out on the street like that is domestic violence and in violation of the affidavit of support. 

why do you think this forum is purposed to preventing GCGs specifically?  As rotten an apple as such women are, they are mild compared to men who bring women over on false pretenses, which, appears to be the case here since he appears to have been engaged in an extra marital affair.

You response is another case of selective reading leading to inflammatory rotten advice. 

I barely stop by anymore and just happened to see this thread. I am actually rather shocked by some of the replies to this especially coming from the Men.

Something really big is missing here.
She has been here for two months. Nothing more then a long vacation yet she is determined to stay and have this Man pay for it.
I see a big issue there and we are not hearing the Man's side. But the fact she is determined to stay after such a short time here and collect money I do not see her as the loving wife she is being made out to be.
This could also explain the Man's reactions to throwing her out and buying the tickets to send her home. I see a GC girl here big time.

However I am amazed that the advice has been given to call shelters and domestic violence centers. I thought this is what we were here trying to stop?
Noowhere did the original OP make any claim that this Woman was a victim of Domestic Violence. Why would anyone (especially Men here) tell then to contact a Domestic Violence Center? You are encouraging a fake report.
How can we feed the same madness we wish to stop?
Many here need to realize in any day you could be the victim.

She has been here for two months. SHe has had a long vacation to the US. If she was truly this model wife the OP wants us to believe then she would take the ticket for her and her son and return home to her family. She is not choosing this route. She is choosing to stay and wants the Man to pay. She did not come here for a marriage. She came here for a GC. She does not need our help to play the system.

This is simple math.

Happy couple for 3 years while waiting for her k-3.
Man is loyal and waits this three years.

She arrives to US and within 2 months he wants her out and out of the country. Must be a big reason for him to make this decision considering he was so patient for 3 years. I think the clue is simple in the fact she is determined to stay after 2 months. She has not built a life here yet.

Math equals one thing. GREEN CARD GIRL. He found this out when she arrived and he is now trying to clean up the mess she put him in.

If anything I would ask the OP to ask the Man to come to this board. I think he is the one who needs the advice more.

[Doll]

roykirk, tell her to post on this forum
http://www.russian-fiancee.com/rus/forum/index.php

[Faux Pas]

Throwing her out on the street like that is domestic violence and in violation of the affidavit of support. 

why do you think this forum is purposed to preventing GCGs specifically?  As rotten an apple as such women are, they are mild compared to men who bring women over on false pretenses, which, appears to be the case here since he appears to have been engaged in an extra marital affair.

You response is another case of selective reading leading to inflammatory rotten advice. 

I tend to agree with you here Sculpt. If in fact the limited information here is true. But the fact that she is leaving anyways as tfcrew states pretty much absolves her of GCG. He would be much worse than a Boris or a GCG

[Journeyman]

Two questions Journeyman,

How long were you married to your Wife? Or more importantly, how long were you two married before you brought her to the States?
My point being that this Russian Wife waited 3 years to come to the USA to be with her Husband.
Although we don't know the reasons behind this long wait period, was it her, was it him, was it USCIS, a combination of...?  I don't believe that there are many Green Card Scammers out there who would patiently wait 3 plus years to see such a plan to its fruition.
I would bet my last dollar that 99% of all RW Green Card Scammers gain entry on a Fiance Visa.

Utrobina,

You say that you "would be my last dollar that 99% ........." etc.  I can guarantee you that it doesn't really matter as between the two if the woman can still effectively make her plans.  I have seen many examples of this.  I will cite one example here.  Back in mid 2004, I met a gal in Ukraine who wanted to marry me very quickly.  I declined, and by January, 2005 she was married to another man.   That man was an American who married her in Ukraine and then made application for a K-3 visa for her.  The visa was issued, but he delayed in bringing her over quickly.  How do I know all this?  Because I again visted her town in Ukraine in mid 2006 and saw her still living there.  She walked up to me in the middle of a pedestrial mall and re-introduced herself.  Did she re-introduce herself as a green card girl?  No, but she did say that she wished that I had married her, and that if she did still get to the US on her K-3 then she wanted my number so that she could call me and split with her new husband.  I declined, and she then said goodbye and she walked off arm-in-arm with her local Ukrainian boyfriend to continue their drinking (and presumably some other Ukrainian fun).  The interpreter who was with me knew her and said "she is like a lof of gals here.... just looking for money."  In early 2009, the interpreter told me as a footnote to my interaction with her that that gal finally immigrated to the US, but that she had lost track of her and didn't know if she was still married to her America husband, and reminded me that it was good that I didn't get involved with her.  There are other stories that I have experienced or heard going back to 1999.  The K-3 gals will wait, but they sometimes cover their bets in a very substantial way, until they can fully implement their larger strategy.  I don't impune the integrity of all FSU K-3 immigrants, as my wife came on a K-3.  However, it happens plenty.

By the way, you were confused about my green card girl and my current wife.  My GCG came over on a K-1 in 2002.  I never married her and she promptly returned to Russia after she was found out.  Smart girl, as I had already laid other traps for her after I discovered her real intent.  My wife, a much different woman, came on a K-3 visa years later.  Yes, it is easier to get here on a K-1, but a GCG then needs to get hitched here in order to complete the plan.  So, either route ends up at about the same eventual point where the GCG can implement her objective.  They are flexible, and just look for the best mule.

[Journeyman]

Journeyman

All good questions but apparently a moot point. One defining element this thread missing was information but that wasn't the thrust of the thread. A respected member asks the forum for help in this situation as to how to advise this woman to proceed. Information was offered based on the limited information received. I expect the truth lies somewhere between the lady and the alleged dirtball soon to be ex-hubby. But, at the end of the day if she has in fact decided to leave and go back to Russia it doesn't make any difference.

If, if, if, if, if, ................. time will tell.

[Journeyman]

I tend to agree with you here Sculpt. If in fact the limited information here is true. But the fact that she is leaving anyways as tfcrew states pretty much absolves her of GCG. He would be much worse than a Boris or a GCG

Really, I think that that is SO naive.  My GCG in 2002 stood in my kitchen and told me how proud she was to have gotten that far before having been found out.  She then returned to Russia to find another mule.  Just because these gals return does NOT mean that they are innocent.  If there plot is foiled, they then have to go to a Plan B if they so chose.

[Faux Pas]

If, if, if, if, if, ................. time will tell.

Of course I could be wrong but I expect this thread will die soon and we will never know for sure so time might not tell us squat  

[Faux Pas]

Really, I think that that is SO naive.  My GCG in 2002 stood in my kitchen and told me how proud she was to have gotten that far before having been found out.  She then returned to Russia to find another mule.  Just because these gals return does NOT mean that they are innocent.  If there plot is foiled, they then have to go to a Plan B if they so chose.

Journeyman
The latest morsel of information tells us they have been married and living together in Russia for three years. She just joined him two months ago after he had been here for a year. I say this definitely shifts to her the benefit of doubt. What say you?

It's all conjecture anyway as we'll likely never get the truth even if they were both posting in the forum. I realize you ran into one or two GCG and might know 100's for all I know but, I can assure you not all FSUW are GCGs

[Journeyman]

Journeyman
The latest morsel of information tells us they have been married and living together in Russia for three years. She just joined him two months ago after he had been here for a year. I say this definitely shifts to her the benefit of doubt. What say you?

It's all conjecture anyway as we'll likely never get the truth even if they were both posting in the forum. I realize you ran into one or two GCG and might know 100's for all I know but, I can assure you not all FSUW are GCGs

PLEASE, Faux Pas, do not mischaracterize my statments.  Of course not all FSUW are GCGs.  I know many very decent FSU ladies and have said so many times in this forum.  At the same time, I have seen a lot since I stepped into this arena nearly 10 years ago.  What I am continually amazed by is the stories my wife tells me about FSU women that she knows or knows of ......... stories from the "woman's side" where they have taken advantage of various men in various ways.  The most recent story was of a Ukrainian woman who tricked an Italian man to marry her after she got pregnant from some Ukrainian guy.  After the Italian guy married her, he regularly provided her with trips back home to Ukraine where she was able to have frequent trysts with a host of other Ukrainian men.  Again, that is the stuff that I am hearing from my wife about SOME FSU women.  SOME.  SOME.  SOME.  And the same could be said about SOME American women as well.  No doubt. 

Regarding who is guilty and who is not in this case, I think its not possible to know, and I think we'd all waste a lot of time speculating with the facts available.