Its going to get hot!

[Dave13]

 I find it very perplexing how some of the men approach this whole process. They do seem determined to find, and create a reason why they can't succeed.  After years of looking, they are still looking.  Why? Maybe some are just playing at the idea, with no true intentions of finding a wife.
After this opening statement, I will offer my personal opinion on what men should do before and during this journey.
First, find out if you truly are interested in finding someone to share your life with. Then take a long hard look at yourself, your age, physical appearance, current family obligations, financial and the most important your mental strength. Then if you say yes, just get off your butt, walk away from your computer and do it.

Week One: find some contact information, either through an agency, free site, or other.
Week Two: start with a good intro letter, with some current photos of yourself.
Week Three: continue with additional letters to the ladies or lady explaining you plan to visit soon. Of course almost all the men say this.
Week Four: start deciding who you're interested in, and concentrate on them.
Week Five: this week you can start to plan on which city you plan to visit, hopefully with all the ladies or lady in this city.
Week Six: start looking at plane, hotel or flats in that city, maybe some interesting things to do there.
Week Seven: make your reservations, and then watch the interest level of the lady or ladies increase.
Week Eight: go shopping for some nice outfits. Get a professional to help, women's opinions are more important than yours in this area.
Week Nine: haircut, shopping for a few special gifts and then get your butt on the plane.
Stay for at least three weeks>

Now let the fight begin.

[HiTech]

Dave13: I agree with the outline, and for a 2nd trip it would work.

For first trip you are not considering the time it takes to learn just a few of the basic questions about travel, language, cost, interpreters.

I.E. Put another month in for data gathering to learn what you will need for support on the trip. Cell phones, cabs, trains, planes , apartments, hotels just all the surrounding stuff.

P.S. I originally started looking Jan 1. Made my first trip March 2. So your time frame is doable.

HITech

[Dave13]

HiTech, Your right and extra four weeks to workout the details could help, it all depends if you go it alone or use an agency. I started the process in the middle of July was on the the plane the end of Sept. Now, once your there you don't have to get engaged the first trip, I didn't. But at least you've taken that first step, most of the guys are just keyboard Romeo's.

Dave

[kievstar]

I think the 3 week part hurts must people.  Not many people can take 3 weeks off and still be employed.

I would also skip the letter writing.  Just get on a plane and visit often even if only 3 days.  Going every month ups the odds.  I have never heard of a guy who visited every month not getting married. 

[Dave13]

Kievstar, Going more than one trip is a good idea, but the cost of plane-fare could be a problem for some of the guys. Also, sometimes it takes a few days to get over the jet-lag, its a 12 hour difference in time between Tver and Anchorage. For myself the long trip provide me time to relax and enjoy the sights. Now, I'm in trouble. 

[Sculpto]

If I was going to do it again I would go for an extended trip.. three months.. enroll in a Russian language course and make friends with some local guys and engage them in helping me find a suitable lady to court.  I wold also make use of Mamba and social networks.

My first trip was for a month and it wasn't long enough.  I was just getting my feet when it was over.  Had it been two months I would be married by now.

[tfcrew]

Kievstar..
Something happened to your profile.
All the info there has disappeared.

About letter writing ...it adds something personal to it all [I think]
Karl

[Jooky]

I don't have any criticism of the above timeline, but I do have some thoughts about why some men succeed, but so many fail in finding a wife, especially until 'death do us part', even after many trips and years of trying.

- Some men are good at correspondence, some aren't. Some can develop a real relationship through mail, chat and over the phone, and the real life meeting is just a natural continuation of something that's already there. Others are so poor at judging online communication that they can fall in love with a generic series of form letters without even realizing that there is no actual dialog taking place.

- Some men are just good with women. They have the confidence and skills to attract, and this makes it easier for them to close the deal when they meet a women they feel is a good match. Others, and of course there are many in the endeavor, just don't have what it takes to develop that initial attraction with any women they meet. Maybe they get too nervous. Maybe it's hard for them to be their true self until they get comfortable with someone.

With the additional language and cultural hurdles, some men have more doors open to them in Russia, but an even harder time getting a joke off, delving into deep conversation or just making things click with a woman than they would back home.

- Some men are determined to find a wife, and can proceed in a more logically selective manner, knowing what they require in a mate and what they can compromise. Others feel they need to feel an immediate soul mate type connection, which is tough to find, especially given the hurdles I mentioned above.

- Some men insist on unrealistic expectation, whether they are focusing on beauty, youth or other qualities. You can say they seek ‘out of their league’, but I'd rather put it as they're looking for someone who fits a mold, but it's a mold that doesn't really fit with them.

Sometimes the man insists on chasing the dream of landing the perfect 10 with complete disregard for anything else. Many times the man insists on falling in love with a girl who fits technically what He's looking for when beyond that there is no true connection or match at all.

I've noticed this a lot in trip reports. I remember one really nice guy who suffered for a  week or two chasing a woman in Siberia. She was all that he technically looked for, and it was clear she treated him well and thought he was a good and nice gentleman. The problem was, and I could feel it from the report, the two didn't connect as far as sense of humor and conversation.

I remember also a young Mexican guy who posted here. He insisted on chasing a girl who fit his criteria, but again it was clear she wasn't feeling anything for him and he really wasn't feeling another for her either, but he persisted, wasting time that could have been spent finding a better match.

The thing is, in these and many cases, if a Man's not feeling good with a woman during the first week, if instead He's feeling downtrodden because his affection isn't being returned, there is no match there, and he needs to move on!

- Some men don't know when to fold ‘em.

Remember the guy who completely wasted half a trip with a moody b*tch who locked him in his own apartment at night? The story was entertaining to read, but, what the hell was this guy thinking? This seems to happen a lot on wasted trips. I don't know if the man feels obligated to a woman he visits, or just doesn't have the energy to move on and meet someone else.

Many cases aren't so extreme, but you can see that a man wastes his time pursuing someone who at best is compromising to be with him.

- Some men don't know when to hold ‘em! This is a problem that happens with a lot of guys that have the resources to make frequent trips or spend some time living in Russia. The more choices you realize you have, the harder it is to compromise and choose.

So when 2012 above says if he had stayed for 2 months on his first trip he'd be married by now, I wonder. No doubt he could have met a nice lady to marry, but maybe by that time he'd start thinking there is someone even better for him just around the bend.

- Some men don't know when they're being taken for a ride. No need to explain this one. We've read these stories a hundred times.

- Finally, some men focus too much on finding a ‘Russian bride’, rather than finding a woman they can spend their life with. They stop looking back home and are fixated on the search and the process.

----------------------

Back to the timeline above: I don't think it's the actual process that matters as much as the attitude and approach, and this depends on the individual.

Personally, the closest I came to marrying a Russian girl was based entirely on a whim. Based on a photo and a 10 minute phone conversation that came out of the blue, I flew out the next day from Moscow (where I was staying for the summer) to a smaller city to meet someone I knew absolutely nothing about. Nothing was planned. No time for some new clothes or a haircut. She knew nothing about me and hadn't even seen my photo. I flew out on a one way ticket. We asked the taxi driver to take me to the nearest ok hotel when I arrived.

The first date that day led to a full month together, followed by several trips over the course of a year. So you can plan all you want, but you never know when things are going to happen.

[UTRO]

My first trip was for a month and it wasn't long enough.  I was just getting my feet when it was over.  Had it been two months I would be married by now.

Christ!! Good thing you didn't then, eh Sculpt??? 

[UTRO]

I'm not so sure about the timeline thingy? Are you not putting yourself in danger of making a Rash Decision if you fall behind on the planning? ie: making compromises on who is and isn't Ms. Right? Although i suppose it's only a Guideline and not a Rule...
I would want to use at least 8 weeks getting to know someone before I visit. You can eliminate a lot of uncertainty withinin that timeframe. Then again your timeline plan looks WMVM, rather than WOVO, which I have never done. I think you should have added time to lose a little fat around the waist

[Vaughn]

This sounds to me like a good plan in general, but before Week Four....

Week Four: start deciding who you're interested in, and concentrate on them.

I would have included phone calls, preferably to the lady's home, before deciding on
any notion of interest. There is much merit to your method, Dave13, but in my years
of meeting WM/FSU couples, it became apparent that many met their match outside
their original blueprint plan. If I were to do it all over again, I would select a city (or two)
that interests me culturally - and look within its confines - rather than allow a pretty
photograph dictate my destination.

[Shadow]

If I had to search again, I would try to use the same method.
No time limits, no limits on country, city or anything.

Write a number of women, trying to get a connection. If I feel there is a chance, make a call. Next make a short trip of 2 or 3 days.
Repeat until it is successful.

[Gator]

Dave13,

There are different ways of doing this.  Nevertheless, every approach should first do what you wrote:

First, find out if you truly are interested in finding someone to share your life with. Then take a long hard look at yourself, your age, physical appearance, current family obligations, financial and the most important your mental strength.

What I found myself doing is reexamining all of these issues (and others) again and again as I progressed along the path to marriage.

Personally, I spent considerable time on the telephone in the pre-meeting phase.  Other men just go.  The key is to get on a plane  (as you said just "do it"). 

I met several RW (actually only 6  over a 30-day trip).  This was of course fun, yet I found the meeting phase far more "demanding" and "serious" than the pre-meeting phase.  You "chose" wisely. What are your thoughts about the meeting phase (i. e., meeting a lovely and committing to the next step)?

[Dave13]

Utrobina " I think you should have added time to lose a little fat around the waist"  I did work out like crazy before my trip, here's a shot a few days before my trip.

[kievstar]

tfcrew, I deleted all my personal information and will be changing my RWD name shortly as I no longer live in Ukraine and have stopped all my contacts with people in Ukraine (wife does not like shady people and most of the people I knew in Ukraine were politicians, business owners, entertainers, marriage workers, etc.) as I have been happily married for awhile now.  I may move to Texas so will pick a name more with a Texas theme.

I still think get on a plane and go often or move to the country is best option.  That being said many men get married other ways. 

[Dave13]

Vaughn  " Original blueprint plan" That's a very true statement for me! I married Anna; she worked for the agency as the corresponding coordinator, translated my letters to the ladies I was corresponding with and theirs to me, she was my contact point. It was during my second trip that I discovered she had feelings for me.  

Guys this timeline is my personnel opinion, everyone is different, but if you're serious in this journey it doesn't take a year before you get on that plane,   after that it's your call on how you proceed.

[Jooky]

The more I think about the timeline and what we all go through, it's a hell of a lot of effort for a blind date! Waiting a year for a blind date is madness. Sometimes it does work out, but maybe this is another reason why so many guys fail. You put in weeks or months of preparation for something that can be over within minutes of meeting.

[UTRO]

Utrobina " I think you should have added time to lose a little fat around the waist"  I did work out like crazy before my trip, here's a shot a few days before my trip.

   Hey! That wasn't a Personal Jab Dave Good Job there Mr. Weider!!! 

and I did lose a wee bit of weight also....

[GQBlues]

On the matter of timelines, IMHO, I wrestle with the idea that in 9 weeks time, more or less, you can pretty much find and determine a potential 'wife'. Then 2-3 weeks after that be convinced of it beyond the shadow of doubt. So in the span of 12 weeks, in which 25% of it is spent in person - while you're literally on vacation - is just something I cannot advice anyone in doing. To complicate that even more, in some instances marrying a woman who was by definition, a back-up.

These are all more than a tab beyond my comprehension. Human relations are so subjective to try and encapsulate it in a given, structured and definite timeline.

Nor can I ever advice anyone on 'jumping on a plane ASAP' to a country they've never been to before, doesn't speak their language, have little or no understanding of their culture - to seek a person to spend the rest of your life with whom you've only met days/weeks before in the internet.

Now of course, if all you want is the most beautiful woman you can ever hope to date that you obviously cannot do so at home - let alone marry one (even for short while) - then heck yes...buy a ticket today and just worry about life later. After all, a slim chance of success is still a chance however slim, and it's still a heck of a lot more than what you had done at home before or even possibly ever will  - yes?

Despite what I have done in Russia when I went about to meet my wife - it's difficult for me to advice anyone to follow my trail for various reasons.

I will advice one who profess a yearning for a woman with Slavic persuasion to seek out a FSUW already living the States - in your city, your state, or even one cross-state. Either expore and start an intimate relationship with a FSUW or just befriend one. This will give you a better understanding if your resolve is equal to your manly insatiable desire.

[JR]

 Others are so poor at judging online communication that they can fall in love with a generic series of form letters without even realizing that there is no actual dialog taking place.

Come on, that never happens

[Dave13]

Utrobina, Your in good shape! 

[Dave13]

Gator, the meeting phase was a exhausting experience  :evil:  Just look at your first meeting with the lady as a first date, because in reality that's what it is! 

Dave

[Misha]

You put in weeks or months of preparation for something that can be over within minutes of meeting.

Or, you continue pursuing a relationship with the wrong person because you have invested too much time and energy and can't bring yourself to let go and cut your losses...

[dogspot]

Or, you continue pursuing a relationship with the wrong person because you have invested too much time and energy and can't bring yourself to let go and cut your losses...

and/or the sex is good.

[GlobalEuphoria]

  I like the timeline that the OP provided but I think it's important to stress that the everyone needs to work within a timeframe that they are comfortable with... although you can't drag your feet either.

  This topic does hit home for me as I've been at a serious cross roads the past few weeks as to wether to jump into this search or back away. I'm not against any angles/situations that need to transpire in order to make my quest a successful one. However I've noticed that the majority of those who post on here and other boards seem to come up empty handed in the end. While some come up with nothing due to poor judgement or being merely a sex tourist, I'm still a little bit at a loss for words on why the honest guy still comes up with nothing. I don't mind giving it the old college effort but it's the loss of time and money that concerns me... I'd personally feel like a loser if I went through the whole process and come up with nothing.

   At the end of the day it seems to me that the numbers shift towards the fact that majority of those looking for a FSU lady are probably not going to reach their goal.