Simple question for the ladies

[GlobalEuphoria]

  No guys or dudes... this is open for discussion for the ladies only..  -

   I often see the word " generous " used when a woman is explaining one of the traits she would like to have in a man. What is the most common meaning for that word ? Generous with his heart or with wealth ?

  Thanks

[brave girl]

Emotionally generous and supportive.     brave girl

[BillyB]

 No guys or dudes... this is open for discussion for the ladies only..  -

I've communicated with thousands of RW. I've been in marriage, long term and short term relationships non stop with FSU women since 1998. I could give you some definitions that I heard from many FSU women that will differ from the individual opinions of the ladies that will answer but I'm a dude.... what do I know? I'll respect your wish and keep the answers to myself GlobalEuphoria.

[Gator]

GlobalEuphoria,

I too will respect your wish and decline to comment except to suggest that you should expand your discussion to include the concept of "greedy."   It is an important concept, so important that if a RW becomes convinced that you are greedy, you are the same as dead.   

BTW, the archives are replete with discussions of these terms. 

[Mars]

Also be aware that they misuse the word greedy.

And, that you can be generous one thousand times in a row, but if on the one thousand and one time they perceive that you are not; then they will readily hurl the greedy word at you.

[Ludmila]

The guys are right, Global E.

 It is them you have to ask, because they have heard hundreds of different meanings ladies put into this word, as into any other words and their meanings that yield to different connotations.

The same word may mean different things for different people.

Now, "generous":

If she is into her child, as a priority, she may mean : "man, who is ready to be responsible for her child and involved expenses".
 
If she is stuck in some sit, it may mean" ready to wait enough till I am through"

If she is into spending, it may mean lavish donor.

And the list goes on and on. In all probability, they mean "not tight fisted" ( here you will have to enlighten her on the subject of " How the concept of life in US differs from that of Russia/FSU, and spending formats, accordingly).

[Bored1]

There is not a answer to fit all RW.  It is a matter of personal circumstance as if it means money, time, compassion, emotion and anything else which makes a relationship work.

[GlobalEuphoria]

  Thank you ladies... I appreciate the insight.

[Aloe]

Honestly, i think it means money in most cases. There is no such phrase in russian as "generous with heart" or feelings or whatever, generous in russian is strictly money, and most of the ladies use english as if it was russian, so...

[Mars]

Honestly, i think it means money in most cases. There is no such phrase in Russian as "generous with heart" or feelings or whatever, generous in Russian is strictly money, and most of the ladies use English as if it was Russian, so...

Great to see honest answers from a woman, without all the typical BS obfuscation.

[RussianWind]

The more you spend on her the more you are generous 

Agree with Aloe. It involves only money. Gold rain of gifts.

[Gator]

Women, is it not a relative issue?

An average RM buys his RW girlfriend for her birthday a good Swiss watch in stainless steel.

An average AM buys his RW girlfriend for her bithday the same watch but in gold.

The RM is generous.  The AM is not generous because he could have afforded diamonds as well. 

[Misha]

The AM is not generous because he could have afforded diamonds as well. 

Or the AM picked the wrong woman. One of my wife's most prized gifts had been a $5 watch. We had a bit of time to kill before going to the restaurant for our anniversary and my wife decided that we had to play a game. We were to find a gift costing no more than $5 in the store. We had to find the most romantic gift possible. I managed to find a watch on sale for exactly $5 with the faceplate that read "I Love You." She was touched by the gift. So, the moral of the story, is that if you marry a woman you love and who loves you, you will always be generous and if you marry the wrong woman you will always be too greedy no matter how many diamonds you buy.

[Gator]

We were to find a gift costing no more than $5 in the store. We had to find the most romantic gift possible. I managed to find a watch on sale for exactly $5 with the faceplate that read "I Love You." She was touched by the gift.

Actually Misha that is a romantic story.   



Even Brave Girl should have been touched.  It was like destiny, a concept dear to RW.

So, the moral of the story, is that if you marry a woman you love and who loves you, you will always be generous

Always?  This sounds like love is blind, which is true in the crazy early phase.  You have never irritated your wife?  Nor she you?  Love requires work, yet is so easy when reciprocated.

and if you marry the wrong woman you will always be too greedy no matter how many diamonds you buy.

With the wrong woman you will be too  ___(fill in the blank)___ in so many ways, as she is to you.

[Misha]

Always?  This sounds like love is blind, which is true in the crazy early phase.  You have never irritated your wife?  Nor she you?  Love requires work, yet is so easy when reciprocated.

Which is why I specified "if you love your wife" and "if she loves you." For me, it is implicit that love requires work and effort and yes there will be fights and petty annoyances, but it is the love that makes you want to work it out and the love that will allow you to find compromises. Also, when you love someone, you try not to put them down by labeling them with such terms as "greedy" and the like. IMHO, it is the women who married "по расчёту" who will throw out the "greedy" moniker generously.

[CanadaMan]

Also be aware that they misuse the word greedy.

And, that you can be generous one thousand times in a row, but if on the one thousand and one time they perceive that you are not; then they will readily hurl the greedy word at you.

I can vouch for that too Mars! I found it out first-hand.

[Lily]

 No guys or dudes... this is open for discussion for the ladies only..  -

   I often see the word " generous " used when a woman is explaining one of the traits she would like to have in a man. What is the most common meaning for that word ? Generous with his heart or with wealth ?

  Thanks

You have been given all good answers here. I'd especially recommend Gator's answers

I'd join Aloe's opinion that, albeit the meaning is rather individual, it is in many cases about willingness and even eagerness to spend money.

[mies]

 No guys or dudes... this is open for discussion for the ladies only..  -

   I often see the word " generous " used when a woman is explaining one of the traits she would like to have in a man. What is the most common meaning for that word ? Generous with his heart or with wealth ?

  Thanks

generous with everything. generous - meaning the woman is more important to him than money, or other things and people.

if a man generously gives woman compliments and opens doors for her, but never brings her flowers, in the restaurants each pays for him/herself, or takes woman out only to cheapest places and not very often - then he cannot be called generous. Even though he may look to be generous with his heart - saying all sweet words and doing nice non-material gestures - he will be considered as a stingy (unless he is really poor and cannot afford things).

I may be mistaken on this one, but you will rarely see someone saying "this person is poor but generous". In a relative terms - if a man is very poor - then when he gives the smallest material thing - it may be significant part of his budget, and therefore he should be considered generous. However, we do not observe poor people being called generous. Very rarely. Generosity do not have exact limits, but usually by generous in russian language is understood ability to give, to surprise with the amount of the gift(s). It is often relative not of the wealth of the giver, but of the generosity of the other givers.

For example - if the waiter usually receives tip of 15%, sometimes 10% or 20%, and then one customer gives 35% tip - this customer is very generous. The waiter does not know how rich this customer is, maybe for this customer 35% tip constitutes 0.01% of monthly income, while for more poor customers even 10% tip constitutes 2% of monthly income. However the waiter definitely knows that generous is the customer who left 35% tip, and not all other customers.
So basically - if you want to be called generous - you need to surprise a woman, and not only with sweet words and showing good manners.
But even when you spend money - you still should show good manners, and be generous with your heart, time, feelings, and so on.

[mies]

Honestly, i think it means money in most cases. There is no such phrase in russian as "generous with heart" or feelings or whatever, generous in russian is strictly money, and most of the ladies use english as if it was russian, so...

there is such phrase as "generous on words". it implies that words only do not suffice for being called generous.
also - I am pretty sure that phrase "give love generously" and "not stingy with emotions" is widely used in russian language.

"not stingy with words and epithets" - interestingly - means something completely different. It means using foul language while being in rage.

[Aloe]

mies, that is all nice, but i only saw word "generous" in super-short profiles of model like 18-20 yr old girls, maybe 1 in 100 actually meant something other than money, 50 in 100 are probably fake profiles by scammers, and 49 want a sugar daddy A serious woman usually writes more than 2 lines, and usually without the word generous. At least that's what i think.

[mies]

mies, that is all nice, but i only saw word "generous" in super-short profiles of model like 18-20 yr old girls, maybe 1 in 100 actually meant something other than money, 50 in 100 are probably fake profiles by scammers, and 49 want a sugar daddy A serious woman usually writes more than 2 lines, and usually without the word generous. At least that's what i think.

My posts were not in contradiction with your comment about money - rather an elaboration.
Generous for 18-20yo model would be a man who can give her a trip to Maldives, sweet car and mink coat. Maybe something else.
Generous for "serious" girl who does not put this word into her profile - would be a man who pays for her in the restaurant, gives her flowers, sweet present for birthday (not some plastic souvenir), and a vacation to Turkey, or maybe Europe, or at least trip to Kiev or Moscow from her semi-provincial town. Not that she would reject a mink coat or trip to Maldives, but she has no reasons to expect that anyone would give her those things. And relative to other men around her, the one described above would be generous.

What woman dreams of - is one thing, what she realistically wants - is another thing. What she writes in her profile - is a totally different (third) thing and much defined by assertiveness of this particular woman - not by her needs, wishes or desires.
Generous man - is a man who will fit with his acts/deeds/presents somewhere between "what woman realistically wants" and "what woman dreams of". Some compromises are possible.

There is yet another category of women - subtype of codependents. They want to meet a generous man, they aren't honest enough to self to say they want generous man, they marry a Gobsek, and keep crying and suffering for the rest of their lives how hard is the life with stingy man. While it was very easy not to marry this man, or break up with him if things clearly were not working from the start.

[Avis]

yeah, it's all about money.

she will go and see whether you buy some stuff she wants, whether you order her some nice meal at the restaurant and she'll suspiciously watch you leaving some tips.
She'll examine your shoes and check your willingness to pay for her even when she can afford it herself.

Not necessarily means her to be a gold-digger, it's just sort of test I guess "what's it going be like when i'm pregnant or just gave birth and staying at home not being able to earn any money myself, should i plead for some?"

running to extremes probably with examples here still it's not really about russian women's nature it's just a language thing i guess

imo

[Shostakovich]

There are many facets to this question.  There is a control aspect here.  It is the same issue that surrounds the test of the toilet seat.  Most women are not going to fall in if the seat is left up but they insist upon it to see if a man is willing to alter his routine to please her.  Money is multifaceted.  One facet involves the test of the coin to determine if the lady has got they're fellow hooked.

[Aloe]

There are many facets to this question.  There is a control aspect here.  It is the same issue that surrounds the test of the toilet seat.  Most women are not going to fall in if the seat is left up but they insist upon it to see if a man is willing to alter his routine to please her.  Money is multifaceted.  One facet involves the test of the coin to determine if the lady has got they're fellow hooked.

Our toilet seat is left up most of the time, and our toothpaste is permanently open, and i dont give a crap about that
By the way it is not that you "fall in" if its left up lol, its because its AWFULLY cold and DISGUSTING to sit on a toilet without a seat. You try it Thats very funny.. fall in haha

[Shostakovich]

I can imagine it is not so comfortable to sit on the rim of the toilet.  The point is that it is that the effort to put the seat down does not match the hulaballo that is made over it.  Whenever that is the case there is more at stake than just the thing in itself.  If you associate with ladies long enough they eventually let some of their secrets slip.  A few of the more frank ones have told me directly that the issue is one of control.