What is your ideal lady's personality?

[Ludmila]

 Silver, Mars et all,

I just thought it might help channel the thread you started ( "what were you looking for in an AM") in a constructive mode, by asking WM to say what they were/ are looking for in Russian/Ukranian ladies  . Yes, some broad generalities, please.
How do you expect her to differ from an AW (besides the difference in pounds) ?

[swede]

I guess everyone is looking for different things, but I will share what I was looking for:

- a woman with her clubbing days behind her             
Swedish women seems to be done with this when they are in the 30´s
 
- faithful and trusted                                           
I haven't had any luck with this in Sweden, they seems to be spoiled and believe themselves to be goddess for any men, especially when going abroad, seems like only because you are blond (even if she is very unattractive) she very popular. But don't take me wrong, I would treat MY woman as a goddess, but only her.

- priority family            
Simply request, but still hard to achieve.   
                                     -
- supportive of me and my job (own company) and understanding that the job will take a lot of effort and time
Need to understand that to create a business will take time and life has to be simple in the beginning

feminism movement Sweden - what I want is a real Woman
I am of course saying yes for equal rights and equal pay, but the problem here have been identity crisis for people, men don't know how to behave and act (should they act as a man or be feminine) and women behaves as men (with all the traditional benefits that comes with being a woman). For men it is lost - lost, and women usually only win-win situations. ( I am of course generalizing)

Funny story but feminism in Sweden - we have a guy on TV that have tried to breast feed (got milk his kid so men and women could be 100 % equal.. he haven't succeeded yet (a expert actually says that this could be possible?).. seems like feminist seems to think that the only way to get 100 % equal is to have only one gender. ridicules! Now it is also ok in my town for women to be topless around kids in the public swimming pool (indoors). "there is noo differense between men and womens breast" , who really believes that?   

The Swed's are a very confused people.   

What I want is to my woman to let me 100 % man for the family and I will let her be 100 % woman. I think this will make us happier.

Sorry if I sound synical, but I am really tired of this.

most important character - Positive and happy!!!

Intelligent of course

Caring

Could relax at home but also go for adventures

ha ha and for me, have to like the sauna   

Also, has to be real love...

I probably would be able  meet this person wherever in the world, but now she just happends to be from Russia.

[BillyB]

Good list Swede. I wanted to say a lot but you already said much of what I like in a woman.

I also like a woman to be sweet, kind, calm, and polite. I don't like it when she gets loud, angry or when bad language or trash talk comes out of her mouth. Her being a classy lady is a turn on for me.

[Gylden]

1. Intellegent but not boring
2. Good humor but not silly
3. Graceful but not arrogant
4. Creative but not wasteful
and most imoprtant
5. Knows me but still loves me   

Just a quick list and very general.

[Mars]

I guess this covers more than just personality but:

Intelligence.
Good education; at least University graduate.  But actually know things and still be able to talk about them 30 years later, rather than having just sat in classroom and memorized the material for an exam.
Smiles a lot and is not the moody type.
Enjoy chess and other mind games.
Good sense of humor; not just saying they have it, but actually telling jokes, etc.
Knowledge of the arts:  Music, visual art, ballet, etc.
Comfortable dressing in jeans and sneakers with no make-up for day hike, and then able to switch to formal dress for ballet in short order.
Can get out the door quickly when needed without long make-up time.
Not squeamish about getting hands dirty: yard work, gardening, fishing, etc.
Like to cook without grumbling about it.  i.e. Really like to cook!!
Not be overly jealous; as in the type that watches to see if you look at passing  women, wonder about what addresses are in your e-mail account, check out your pockets, look for lipstick on collar, etc.
Like animals.
Like sex and a lot of it.  Not to just accommodate the man; but really, really like it.  As in when the woman comes in the home, hugs her man and says: God, I really need a fu$k.  Or when she wakes her man up early and says:  Sorry to wake you, but I am very wet and just cannot wait a minute longer to screw you. One who says: I want more than one orgasm, so let's plan for that.
Be rather tall (5 feet 6 and above) and slender.  Not skinny or emaciated.
Be aged 40-50.
Willing to put me number one in her life.
Does not have 'entitlement attitude.'

Many more probably, as I think of  them.

[vwrw]

Mars, women with the characteristics you have enlisted have a positive attitude and prefer to be focused on positive aspects of life. Such a mentality energizes them to excel an average woman in every realm and gives them charisma and self-confidence. Men who look at the world through black glasses, like vampires, would be a drain on their energy and drive. That is why the women avoid the men as if they were infectious diseases. One needs to have the positive attitude and love for every creature to attract the kind of women, not “infectious” outlook that ingeniously contaminates everything it focuses on.
Judging by your posts, you certainly are out of ordinary, intriguing thinker, but your pessimism is likely to deter the women who have the characteristics you have enlisted.

[Mars]

Mars, women with the characteristics you have enlisted have a positive attitude and prefer to be focused on positive aspects of life. Such a mentality energizes them to excel an average woman in every realm and gives them charisma and self-confidence. Men who look at the world through black glasses, like vampires, would be a drain on their energy and drive. That is why the women avoid the men as if they were infectious diseases. One needs to have the positive attitude and love for every creature to attract the kind of women, not “infectious” outlook that ingeniously contaminates everything it focuses on.
Judging by your posts, you certainly are out of ordinary, intriguing thinker, but your pessimism is likely to deter the women who have the characteristics you have enlisted.

Thanks for some of your words VWRW :-))   but no thanks for some of your other words  :-((

One thing that you must understand is what others have referred to as the 'devils advocate' positions often taken by posters.  That idea, combined with the almost total (if desired) anonymity afforded by these message boards, means that what someone posts is not a totally correct picture of what that person might be like  in person.

For my particular case, I can assure  you that I am anything but a pessimist in real life.  The women I have dated have never seen nor even remotely felt any pessimism from me with regard to anything.  It fact I am probably viewed as a naive optimist.

What you have viewed of my pessimism here came directly from your thread about the entitlement attitude of FSUW.  The comments voiced in that thread hit me very hard when I came to realize that what I had experienced was not an abberation, but rather was deeply ingrained in the culture of FSUW.

So yes, from that I became very depressed . . . but I have not been with any FSUW since, so none of them have been contaminated or driven away by me.  :-))

Thus, as a result of my frustration following from this 'entitlement' realization, I have been lashing out quite a bit, and will probably continue to do so until something makes me feel better!!

And further, not that anyone has to believe me . . . but I have never been rejected by any FSUW whom I have dated more than once.  True, after a first date several have rejected me; but past the first date, it is I who have done all the rejecting.

I have been seriously involved with 4 FSUW.  But, alas, I discovered a serious problem with each of them with respect to one of my important criteria as spelled out in my post.  The serious problem was different for each of the 4.

Yes, yes, I know it may be impossible to find the 'perfect' woman; but the important criteria cannot be missing; or what would be the point?

[RussianWind]

feminism movement Sweden - what I want is a real Woman

Yes, we women in Russia are also against feminism. We absolutely don't mind when a man pays for everything when going out

[XMan]

Yes, we women in Russia are also against feminism. We absolutely don't mind when a man pays for everything when going out

Sense of humor is high on my list. 
 

[docetae]

The ideal woman:

- strong personality but can accept other opinion
- clever
- sense of humor
- who put family at first place (it is same with me..job can not take first place)
- who love children
- who is tall (5ft11 + )
- who like sex
- who is beautiful
- who take care of her
- who is not believing in fairy tale and know that life can be difficult
- who love me as I am
- who like to please me like I like to please her
- who is faithful

Did I told you she is my wife ?
 

[BrianW]

Honest
Loyal
Intelligent
Kind
Selfless
Supportive


Look aren't that high on my list. I would rather marry a cute lady with all these above traits over a supermodel "10" ANY day of the week.

[remiel6]

never been a big fan of lists like this, but..... I might be able to conjure up something.

1. patient
2. understanding
3. intelligent
4. good conversationalist
5. accepts me for who I am, not who they want me to be.
6. Understands that some subjects are not negotiable, they are not up for debate, they will not change.
7. knows when to laugh at me and when to leave me alone.
8. remembers #6 even when it makes her want to throw dishes at me 
9. witty
10. asks questions before deciding on answers.
11. is not greedy or overly materialistic.
12. thinks about subjects before engaging in deep philosophical conversations about them.
13. remembers I'm moody and tempermental when she makes me sleep on the couch 
14. likes being hugged and getting kissed. 
15. remembers number 6 when I wake up on the couch she has put me on for my being moody and tempermental.
16. probably does not like listening to Rush Limbaugh (this could cause me to break every radio in the house  )
17. oh, and remembers that I don't even like the Joneses so why on earth do I want to keep up with them.

lastly I am very compromising about 99% of things in life. where to live, how to raise children, things like this. I do not compromise on some others. I don't need you to tell me what to do with my hair, its not open for debate. My morals and beliefs were founded with much thought and much pain, they are not for sale and I won't tell you what you want to hear to make the argument go away.)

[Ludmila]

Great posts, guys!

 SWEDE, the pic of you and your lady is one of the best I have seen : nice to look at, friendly, intelligent faces !

And your  very topical input about feminism in general, and feminism in Sweden in particular.

As a matter of fact, since you brought up the issue, and very appropriately so, IMO, it is  a big part of a comprehensive Planetary Plan ( all over the world) to destroy the conventional values, bring chaos to  the minds of those who are subject to easier influence---  first and foremost,  adolescents and those in their twenties, when the basic values or, their opposites, are being shaped --- demoralise them  ..... and then " guide" them as required, in accordance with the Plan requirements.

MEDIA, SHOW BUSINESS, coupled with FINANCES,  being most efficient tools-- using celebrities as role models.....Sad.


Your example of a man trying to breast feed--- is nothing else than a humiliating message to a human being sent by " interested parties" aiming at sowing doubt in the minds of the  marginal society segments: the young, who aren't sure of what they need,   the unhappy, the frustrated, the betrayed, the mislead, etc


Swede, I am sure, Swedes like you, saying "No" to the above, are the "salt" of your country, will be behind its healthy future .

[Ludmila]

Guys,

Thanks for your posts. Hopefully, we shall see more. This will help us, girls, to tell you what OUR preferences are, as far as Mr. Perfect is.

 Mars, I can see, you are a most intelligent person. But I can see a few mutually exclusive requirements on your list. But I will not opine, for it is YOUR  dream, YOUR search and YOUR life .

 I will only draw an example-- not from your list ( just to let you know what I mean) :



1. If you enjoy your man to be lavish, you have to accept it that he will infrequently be out of finances.

2. Or, if you like your man to be financially responsible, you shouldn't expect him to be too lavish.



1. If you like a  diplomatic, tactful person, don't be surprised that he/she hasn't told you all the truth.

2. If the person is honest and forward, you shouldn't expect his comments to be always tactful.

In other words, Mars, from your list I can see you would like your lady "to be both lavish, and financially responsible" at the same time, " to be diplomatic and honest, forward at the same time". It doesn't work this way, Mars.

The answer is the Golden Mean. BTW, the latter, being a very Christian concept, is the hardest thing to have.

A personality trait/ feature tends to strengthen, rather than to remain in the middle, as we would wish it to be.

 The key thing is to know what your priorities are, and accept  THE PACKAGE.

[Ade]

Maybe it's just me but I feel a little like I've entered into the twilight zone in some parts of this thread (and a few other recent threads too for that matter?)... Surreal.

IMO, it is  a big part of a comprehensive Planetary Plan ( all over the world) to destroy the conventional values, bring chaos to  the minds of those who are subject to easier influence---  first and foremost,  adolescents and those in their twenties, when the basic values or, their opposites, are being shaped --- demoralise them  ..... and then " guide" them as required, in accordance with the Plan requirements.

Oh bugger. I guess I'll have the heavys from the Bilderberg Group or Illuminati knocking on my door for being so irreverent now.

[SANDRO43]

The answer is the Golden Mean. BTW, the latter, being a very Christian concept...

The concept predates Christianity by some 500 years in the East (Confucius's 中庸, zhōng yōng) or 400 years in the West (Socrates, Plato, Aristotle) .

[Blues Fairy]

- supportive of me and my job (own company) and understanding that the job will take a lot of effort and time
Need to understand that to create a business will take time and life has to be simple in the beginning

Kudos to you for endeavoring to start a business in Sweden!   :hairraising:

1. Intellegent but not boring

 

[BillyB]

Once a RW asked me what I'm looking for in a woman. I tell her and she replies "You want what all men want".

Whatever I said did not impress her and it's true, us men pretty much want the same thing.

It's not what we want that's going to win her over, it's who we are. We could be smart, funny, handsome, or, (close your eyes Brave Girl,) rich.

[Turboguy]

Personally I think the more detailed and exacting your list is the harder time you will have finding the person who has those qualities.

I think that Ludmila brought up a good point that many of the things we look for are contradictory.  We look for a woman who will accept us as we are and yet most women consider men a fix-em-up project.  My wife accepts the workaholic part of my make up but examines anything I put on with a passion to make sure I am dressing in a way that is satisfactory to her.  So she both accepts me the way I am and regards me as a fix-em-up project.

When I was in the searching stage I had more flexability than most about many criteria.  There was a mention of tall.  I met one woman who was 6'2 and wrote one who was 6'6".  One of the last gals I met was probably 4'10 or 11"  Many consider age important.   For me there was about a 35 year difference from the youngest woman I met to the oldest I was interested in.   I met women in the FSU who could hide behind a flag pole and women who would have to shop in a Big Girls store. 

I cared more about inner qualities.  I do believe we tend to put a high priority on avoiding things that created problems for us in the past.   I spent 18 years married to a woman who basically spent her life being angry at the world and bitter.   Avoiding someone like that was one of my priorties.  My wife has a very pleasant personality and I can enjoy every second with her.  I spent 3 1/2 years living with a very beautiful girl who was insanely jealous.  That too, was something I never wanted to go through again. 

[mies]

I guess this covers more than just personality but:

Intelligence.
Good education; at least University graduate.  But actually know things and still be able to talk about them 30 years later, rather than having just sat in classroom and memorized the material for an exam.
Smiles a lot and is not the moody type.
Enjoy chess and other mind games.
Good sense of humor; not just saying they have it, but actually telling jokes, etc.
Knowledge of the arts:  Music, visual art, ballet, etc.
Comfortable dressing in jeans and sneakers with no make-up for day hike, and then able to switch to formal dress for ballet in short order.
Can get out the door quickly when needed without long make-up time.
Not squeamish about getting hands dirty: yard work, gardening, fishing, etc.
Like to cook without grumbling about it.  i.e. Really like to cook!!
Not be overly jealous; as in the type that watches to see if you look at passing  women, wonder about what addresses are in your e-mail account, check out your pockets, look for lipstick on collar, etc.
Like animals.
Like sex and a lot of it.  Not to just accommodate the man; but really, really like it.  As in when the woman comes in the home, hugs her man and says: God, I really need a fu$k.  Or when she wakes her man up early and says:  Sorry to wake you, but I am very wet and just cannot wait a minute longer to screw you. One who says: I want more than one orgasm, so let's plan for that.
Be rather tall (5 feet 6 and above) and slender.  Not skinny or emaciated.
Be aged 40-50.
Willing to put me number one in her life.
Does not have 'entitlement attitude.'

Many more probably, as I think of  them.

have you ever dated a woman like this or been married to one?

[RussianWind]

As in when the woman comes in the home, hugs her man and says: God, I really need a fu$k.  Or when she wakes her man up early and says:  Sorry to wake you, but I am very wet and just cannot wait a minute longer to screw you.

Forum becomes more interesting. Mars expresses his fantasies  Who's brave to continue?

[Mars]

Quote from: Mars on Yesterday at 12:14:14 PM
I guess this covers more than just personality but:

Intelligence.
Good education; at least University graduate.  But actually know things and still be able to talk about them 30 years later, rather than having just sat in classroom and memorized the material for an exam.
Smiles a lot and is not the moody type.
Enjoy chess and other mind games.
Good sense of humor; not just saying they have it, but actually telling jokes, etc.
Knowledge of the arts:  Music, visual art, ballet, etc.
Comfortable dressing in jeans and sneakers with no make-up for day hike, and then able to switch to formal dress for ballet in short order.
Can get out the door quickly when needed without long make-up time.
Not squeamish about getting hands dirty: yard work, gardening, fishing, etc.
Like to cook without grumbling about it.  i.e. Really like to cook!!
Not be overly jealous; as in the type that watches to see if you look at passing  women, wonder about what addresses are in your e-mail account, check out your pockets, look for lipstick on collar, etc.
Like animals.
Like sex and a lot of it.  Not to just accommodate the man; but really, really like it.  As in when the woman comes in the home, hugs her man and says: God, I really need a fu$k.  Or when she wakes her man up early and says:  Sorry to wake you, but I am very wet and just cannot wait a minute longer to screw you. One who says: I want more than one orgasm, so let's plan for that.
Be rather tall (5 feet 6 and above) and slender.  Not skinny or emaciated.
Be aged 40-50.
Willing to put me number one in her life.
Does not have 'entitlement attitude.'

Many more probably, as I think of  them.

have you ever dated a woman like this or been married to one?

I had a long and happy marriage to a very wonderful woman.
However, she did not meet a lot of what I wrote above.  But when you marry very young as I did, we don't really put a lot of thought and analysis into these things.

I readily admit that when we are older, we tend to come up with a longer list of criteria, mainly because we have a lot more experience.  Admittedly, that makes it much more difficult to find the partner.

As I mentioned above, I have now had serious relationships with 4 FSU women.

Woman 1: On our dates of my first visit, all went very well and she seemed to meet all the criteria noted above.  However, on our mutiweek vacation she often displayed a moodiness.  And she declined to do any cooking, even though I did some cooking and paid for her trip 100%.  Plus she had gained weight from our first meeting which put her beyond the slender category.  She herself brought up this weight gain and told of her determination to reverse it.  But later, as I was about to make another trip to her, she revealed that she really had no intention of losing any weight.

Woman 2:  On our dates of first visit, all went very well and she seemed to meet all the criteria noted above.  Upon arrival at our multiweek vacation, she had gained considerable weight.  Her entitlement attitude came into full force.  It also became apparent she was not going to put me number one in her life relative to her existing family.

Woman 3:  On our dates of first visit, all went very well and she seemed to meet all the criteria noted above.  However at our subsequent exclusive meetings, her jealousy came into full force.  Everytime she left our apartment, she would hurry back as soon as she could, worried that some other woman might be there.  She tried to look at my email to see who else might be writing me.  She admitted that during our first meetings she had tried to check the amount of flour, olive oil, etc. in my apartment to see if anyone else had used anything during the days she was absent.  She apologized several times for her jealousy and promised to stop; but it never did.
Also displayed entitlement attitude.  She and I still correspond now as friends.

Woman 4: On our dates of first visit, all went very well and she seemed to meet all the criteria noted above.  We subsequently spent a lot of time together over several visits.  I gradually came to realization that I would never be number one in her life; both with respect to her family and her career.  She also is not going to remain slender and has no real desire to.  She and I still correspond now as friends.

All  4 women were  in their 40s.

And as my answer to Russian Wind.  There were no fantasies.  All 4 women are into sex big time.  Two of them were already into being the aggressor when we met and the other two developed that aggressiveness over time.

[vwrw]

I think that there is nothing wrong with a long “must have” list as far as the man can offer a proportional number of valuable virtues against each item on his “must have “list.
Mars, do you have enough valuable virtues (from her viewpoint) to offer your ‘perfect’ woman?

For example, what can you offer for her willingness  to put you number one in her life? Or, her ability to get out the door quickly when needed without long make-up time and so on?

[Mars]

I think that there is nothing wrong with a long “must have” list as far as the man can offer a proportional number of valuable virtues against each item on his “must have “list.
Mars, do you have enough valuable virtues (from her viewpoint) to offer your ‘perfect’ woman?

For example, what can you offer for her willingness  to put you number one in her life? Or, her ability to get out the door quickly when needed without long make-up time and so on?

I have no idea if I have enough virtues for any particular woman.
I can only say that the 4 women I wrote about found me acceptable and that it was me who terminated the relationships.

Each woman should also have her list and check to see if I am acceptable.  I don't think I would really change much to satisfy what a particular woman wanted; and I am not really expecting a woman to change either.  We are what we are.

Be natural, and hope for the best.

[mies]

to me it looks like some of the qualities from your list are mutually exclusive. You can have either one, or the other, but not both.
also i think that in some cases you are confusing self-confidence with entitlement. I may be wrong.