Weight 3 and the pursuit of FSU women.

[Mars]

Please make your comments in the appropriate Weight thread 1, 2, 3.

In many threads here, are comments about the reasons for looking to FSU for mates.

Political correctness and the feminist movement in the western world play an important part in what individual men are willing to state about their reasons for looking to the FSU.

Many western men have clearly become pu$$y whipped by their culture and have accepted the training that disallows them to admit to being a man with the thoughts and desires of men.

In practice, this leads many men to claim that the primary driving force for them are variables which do not focus on the youth and beauty factors which are ingrained over thousands of years.  They will speak of variables  such as: More educated, more cultured, more family oriented, more feminine, etc.

They are trying to appear more ‘evolved’ like the women by disclaiming beauty to be the primary variable.  The inner person is most important, etc.

The fact that the men end up with young, beautiful and slender mates is just a coincidence.  They were looking for the inner beauty, and the young and slender gal just happened to come around the corner.

Of course, many men here are more honest and state quite openly that they are looking for the beauty quality foremost; although wanting some of the other qualities also.

Now beauty is in the eye of the beholder as we all know (or in the eye of the beerholder in the joke).

For some this means the face.  For others the breasts, the legs, the neck, the hour glass figure, height, weight, ears, eyes, hair, etc.  Some men want it all, while others are happy to obtain their most desired trait.

And it generally seems that both men and women can accept the fact that it is OK if the man desires any and all of the above traits . . . except one!!

And that one is, of course, the woman’s weight.

You want a tall woman: OK, that is fine; no problem.

You are bothered that a woman is not slender or that she might gain some weight?  Oh what a terrible, disgusting, shallow man you are!!

Would it not be more honest to just clearly state that if you wanted a non-slender woman, there would be plenty to chose from in the home country?

And wouldn’t it be more helpful to the FSU women if they clearly understood this?

Sure, men can continue to deny this, and some can even tell us or show us that their FSU mates are not slender.  But comparatively, let’s think how many non-slender women mates we have seen posted here by their Bfs and husbands vis-a-vis the slender ones.  Is this not proof enough?

[Ludmila]

Mars,



You have raised a number of very important issues in your recent threads--social, economic, cultural, anatomical, sexual, etc



I would like to clarify my POV once again ( sorry, if it may have seemed somewhat obscure in my previous posts)



There isn't any doubt whatsoever that it is the physical characteristics that attract men to women first,  and vice versa.



I am decisively for physical beauty, slender men and women ( as a side note, I am size 5; my husb is a slender, muscly man).



Unless the reason being  some medical condition, my deep conviction is that both men and women must do everything to take care of themselves, do everything they can not to gain weight and be responsible for their health. Beauty is , first and foremost, health.





  Let me try and explain some differences  between the   mentality of American and Russian women, and justify my POV.





The environment, where RW are functioning, is competitive  . American environment is not ( by virtue of economic, social and legislative factors).



AW is void of any stimuli to compete: AW is overprotected by law. The laws are on her side, and an AM is pushed into the corner both morally and economically. American media show a white man, in particular,as a looser, stupid, etc. ( Why? this is a totally  different story , and we will have to touch upon the political aspect, which we are not allowed to do on this list. However, I have a supposition, that you know the reasons better than I do).



 On Russian open channels ( not PPV), Russian mass media cultivate a sex-appealing image of a contemporary woman( as a matter of fact, they went way too far, are too far from the Golden mean, and propagate an image next to vulgar).



In traditional US environment , especially where the influence of the Church is strong, it is quite the opposite : sex appeal is not encouraged and lack thereof is demonstrated on various levels : in a woman's manner of behavior, mime and gestures in general,  and with men in particular, in the manner she dresses, her image, etc.



 Sexuality isn't encouraged, it is discouraged and even  suppressed ( esp in Catholic environment).



 AW is sitting in the car and doesn't move. She doesn't use her muscles, she doesn't do the dishes or laundry manually. At the same time, she likes to eat out and not to cook. However, her desire to have everything come easy--  take the  pill, press the  button-- ( offered to her by advanced economy) has played an evil joke with an AW.



 Meanwhile,  a question arises : " Is advanced economy a blessing or a curse?" Of course, it is good. Only don't forget to read and follow "The Safety Instructions".



And another thing. If, per chance, one fine  day  I notice changes in my muscly manly man's silhouette  :-)  , I will never leave him for that reason. I will do everything I can to help him solve the problem. But I like preventive measures more. So does he.



 Mars, I think it is only natural for a man to seek  a slender healthy lady.  I am for slender men and women. While  we understand that to stay slender and beautiful involves consistent EFFORT , WORK , EDUCATING YOURSELF AND SACRIFICE, ONCE COMMITTED, WE STAY WITH THE BELOVED.  Come rain or shine.

[Jumper]

Ludmila, nice post.

Mars, obviously from your three posts ,and observations you have had of some of your romantic interest gaining weight,
it is a very big thing for you,. and slim is not only a preference, but a requirement
and yes , it is for many people.
You don't see too many overweight male or female models, actors or actresses.
There's a reason for that.

It also seems you feel persecuted somehow by the *Politically Correct * crowd for your preference? or are sensitive to it.

Unless you are driving around with the over the top and a bit vulgar -  "No fat Chicks" bumper sticker on your car ,
I don't think your preference is going to be a surprise,or looked "down at",
 by many men or women in any country.

You say you are in shape and financially secure.
no need to apologize or feel un PC about your personal preferences?
Why would you care what anyone else (or society)thinks or feels about such a personal choice anyway.

at the root of your issue is that we all know a person's exterier isn't *who* they are,
and are taught not to *judge a book by its cover*  because we would personally not like to be judged so shallowly?
 but most all of us are equally quite painfully aware , that outward appearence is of course a part of the entire package of an individiual, just like intelligence,humor, social standing (financially viable) etc etc.

There couldn't be  bigger industries than those of diet ,beauty ,fitness, clothing and all things concerned with
"looking attractive" to the opposite sex.





 
 

[Gator]

Ludmila,

Excellent post.  I tend to dismiss posts that identify differences between AW and RW because there is a wide diversity in each group (for example, on the Black Sea beaches one can see many RW with cellulite).

In your case you come from a rather unique perspective - a RW living in America.  You also seem to be observant.  Thus, your points have much validity.  Of course, the exceptions are numerous.

[Gator]

AJ,

You have not read the RWD threads as thoroughly as me, yet you and I have the same observation regarding Mars fixation on weight.

I must assume that Mars had a near death experience with a fat AW, perhaps almost suffocating when caught in an air lock during 69.   

Mars, if you are indeed fixated, you could drive a woman crazy after marriage, remarking about what she eats, etc. if she gains one pound.  I don't know your age; however, if you want a young wife and a child, childbirth can take a toll.  If you are dating women in their late 30s, metabolic changes will add weight.

And it is not healthy for a women to be too thin as she ages.

One of my wife's RW friends is pencil thin, and she is having trouble conceiving.

[Mars]

AJ,

You have not read the RWD threads as thoroughly as me, . . . .

Mars, if you are indeed fixated, you could drive a woman crazy after marriage, remarking about what she eats, etc. if she gains one pound.  I don't know your age; however, if you want a young wife and a child, childbirth can take a toll.  If you are dating women in their late 30s, metabolic changes will add weight.

Yes, Gator you certainly are thorough.  In several threads I have clearly stated my ladies are between 40 and 50.

And I never have mentioned weight to the women.  The one example I gave, she brought it up and said she would lose it.

And there is the related thread: Objective Science where you can give your ideas about metabolic changes.

I fully realize your status here as a guru and you have been helpful to many, and will be thus defended even when you are wrong.

However you are nevertheless a bully, and worse you are intellectually dishonest in your knowingly selective recall of facts and situations used in your bullying to put down on people.

[Blues Fairy]

The fact that the men end up with young, beautiful and slender mates is just a coincidence.  They were looking for the inner beauty, and the young and slender gal just happened to come around the corner.

You think such "coincidence" is totally unreal?  Can't it be possible that those slender women indeed possess greater inner beauty and considerably more intelligence than the fat ugly ones? 

It does take some brains to stay good-looking and slender, let me tell ya. 

[Jumper]

Mars, as i mentioned, i really don't think anyone is picking on you for a preference that  society "shares" that view?
pick up any magazine on the newstand and that "preference" is obvious?
(in both men and women)
 you are the one posting often about it, and seem rather defensive?

your post doesn't ask a question? so only invites comment.
If you seek reinforcement for your views,or opinions,  
i think the societal and cultural ones are evidence enough?
if you want members to stand up and raise hands , that they prefer a slender woman,,.
 or a slender(at least healthy /in shape  man)
i would imagine not all,but most, would do so?
i'll volunteer. yes  I prefer slender women.I doubt that's shocking news.most men do,and I have always dated women that were in decent shape, regardless nationality..because that's what i am attracted to initially?
As far as photo's here ,while my RW /ex wife was attractive, most people would say certainly not more so than
my first wife, or other girlfriends (irish and american respectively) so it wasn't much to do with me looking in the FSU.
Anyway "shape" in initial attraction is important to most?
but certainly isn't the only criteria..and i would hope the same would be true,
from any woman even moderately attracted to me.
 
  I honestly don't think  a person can do much about "who" they are initially attracted to,,
"something " about the other person does, or does not attract them.
very little would change it.. certainly not nationality.

again I simply  wouldn't be defensive about a physical preference?
Everyone is an individual and has their own tastes ?

I have never been a big fan of the hollywood pam anderson buxom blonde look,at all,
others guys are absolutlely crazy about it!!!!
 
I guess i just missed your point.

Most men (and women) would readily admit that they find Pamela, or Claire Forlani ,(more my type)
 more attractive than an actress like Rosasane Barr, and most of that due to weight.

[Boethius]

You think such "coincidence" is totally unreal?  Can't it be possible that those slender women indeed possess greater inner beauty and considerably more intelligence than the fat ugly ones? 

It does take some brains to stay good-looking and slender, let me tell ya. 

I guess all runway models and ballerinas are geniuses.

[Blues Fairy]

I guess all runway models and ballerinas are geniuses.

Maybe not, but all fat and ugly women surely possess exceptionally profound and beautiful personalities, unlike the pretty ones! 

[Boethius]

Undoubtedly.  

[vwrw]

You think such "coincidence" is totally unreal?  Can't it be possible that those slender women indeed possess greater inner beauty and considerably more intelligence than the fat ugly ones? 

BF, I believe  what Mars wanted to say was that it is not coincidental that men  end up with young, beautiful, and slender mates; and that the men were purposely looking for such mates; but they do not want to admit it for whatever reason, maybe because they do not want to seem shallow. I think Mars believe that slender women can have  inner beauty and more intelligence than the fat ugly ones. That is why he is looking for the right one among the slender women.

[Boethius]

I think BF was being facetious.

[Sculpto]

Gator a bully?  Mars.. dude.. once again you are way over the top. 

What I don't get is why some people seem so focused on one aspect of the person they desire as a mate.  I want the whole package.. looks, intelligence, personality.  If one component is missing it just isn't going to work for me.  And oddly, looks are the first thing I would compromise on. 

When "you" look at someone and they appear to "you" to be beautiful, it does not mean that when "they" look in the mirror "they" see a beautiful person.

These topics make me think the OP is a very insecure person.  JMO

[Turboguy]

Mars, I enjoy your posts and you have impressed me with most of the things you have said.  However when you say that Gator is a bully, and intellectually dishonest I have no idea where you are coming from.   Gator, to me, is one of the wise and kind people on this forum and I have never seen anything that gave me an impression even remotely similar to your comments.   Maybe I missed something but I do read most things on RWD.  Still everyone is entitled to their opinion.

[Mars]

BF, I believe  what Mars wanted to say was that it is not coincidental that men  end up with young, beautiful, and slender mates; and that the men were purposely looking for such mates; but they do not want to admit it for whatever reason, maybe because they do not want to seem shallow. I think Mars believe that slender women can have  inner beauty and more intelligence than the fat ugly ones. That is why he is looking for the right one among the slender women.

Yes, you got it exactly right.

I think BF understood too, and she was adding her own humor and/or sarcasm and/or facetious input.

[pitbull]

I think Mars believe that slender women can have  inner beauty and more intelligence than the fat ugly ones. That is why he is looking for the right one among the slender women.

Well in this case Mars should accept that young and slender women are looking for the right one among men who are financially very well off. These young and slender women believe that very well off men can have inner beauty and more intelligence than poor losers (aka, making 40K/year in their forties).

Also, he should feel it is fair for young and slender women (or just slender women for that matter) to reject him solely on the basis of his inability/unwillingness to provide the life style they want. Just like he rejected several of his RW dates solely on the basis of gained weight. However, in these cases Mars seems to label the women shallow, materialistic and exibiting entitlement attitude.

I wonder what the fair exchange rate would be? Maybe RWD members could collectively decide on the guidelines, something like:

A woman 100-110 lb deserves a man making 300K and higher

A woman 110-130 lb - a man making $150K-300K

A woman 130-150lb - ?
etc.......

Well and those fat ugly ones that weigh over 170 (more?) only deserve losers that make 40K and under?

But then, what if a woman gains weight? Should a man drop working hours? And respectively, if a man is laid off etc, should a woman pack on pounds? Or find a new man in her weight/salary category?

[vwrw]

I wonder what the fair exchange rate would be? Maybe RWD members could collectively decide on the guidelines, something like:

A woman 100-110 lb deserves a man making 300K and higher

A woman 110-130 lb - a man making $150K-300K

A woman 130-150lb - ?
etc.......

Well and those fat ugly ones that weigh over 170 (more?) only deserve losers that make 40K and under?

Pitbull, your post made me laughing because before I read it I was thinking why would it helpful for FSUW if they clearly understand  that it is their slenderness that attracts  WM to them.  Now, I can see that this understanding could help them to establish a fair exchange rate.
Mars, if we put joking apart, how would it  be more helpful to the FSU women if they understood that it is their slenderness that attracts  WM to them?

[Mars]

Well in this case Mars should accept that young and slender women are looking for the right one among men who are financially very well off. These young and slender women believe that very well off men can have inner beauty and more intelligence than poor losers (aka, making 40K/year in their forties).

Also, he should feel it is fair for young and slender women (or just slender women for that matter) to reject him solely on the basis of his inability/unwillingness to provide the life style they want. Just like he rejected several of his RW dates solely on the basis of gained weight. However, in these cases Mars seems to label the women shallow, materialistic and exibiting entitlement attitude.

I wonder what the fair exchange rate would be? Maybe RWD members could collectively decide on the guidelines, something like:

A woman 100-110 lb deserves a man making 300K and higher

A woman 110-130 lb - a man making $150K-300K

A woman 130-150lb - ?
etc.......

Well and those fat ugly ones that weigh over 170 (more?) only deserve losers that make 40K and under?

But then, what if a woman gains weight? Should a man drop working hours? And respectively, if a man is laid off etc, should a woman pack on pounds? Or find a new man in her weight/salary category?

Please try to make your words correspond to the facts.

I mentioned several times I am not looking for young.
I never used the words shallow and materialistic.
You cannot use the word 'solely' as in "he rejected several of his RW dates solely on the basis of gained weight" because you have no knowledge of this.

Criticism accepted where based on fact, not where you twist words.  We already have more expert people who can do that.

[docetae]

Pitbull, you forget about the height factor

I like how people can split qualities, do overanalysis on some physical aspects, and define criterias like if they were shopping for a new car...
If you are looking for a woman in kit, you should try this site.

[JR]

Nice post Ludmilla.

I admit right here and now that I am shallow. I want a slender woman that (I) find attractive.

I also know from experience that an FSUW brought here can and most likely will gain weight.

I also know from experience they can lose it.

Slender/Attractive is a starting point from photos and profile information. After the first five minutes of drooling over the photos you have to get to know them and determine if you want to spend the rest of your life with the person inside the shell.

I will once again state the two reasons men look to the FSU.

1. Younger (slender frequently comes with youth)
2. Prettier (most men will ascribe slenderness with attractiveness)

The rest is for the most part BS and or justification.

[docetae]

Jollyrats:

1) Not always... my wife is older than me by 5 months
2) beauty - True
3) You can add to have family as priority number 1 .

[pitbull]

Please try to make your words correspond to the facts.

I mentioned several times I am not looking for young.
I never used the words shallow and materialistic.
You cannot use the word 'solely' as in "he rejected several of his RW dates solely on the basis of gained weight" because you have no knowledge of this.

Criticism accepted where based on fact, not where you twist words.  We already have more expert people who can do that.

Mars, you may delete  the word young, leave slender, and my overall idea still remains. As to your RW dates' weight, I am left with an impression your single deciding factor was weight.

Mars, I have a question for you. Lets imagine you meet your ideal slender RW beauty, marry her and she moves to the US with you. What if she starts gaining weight (very likely, btw) after moving to the US. What would your reaction be? How many pounds of additional weight is too much? What if she cannot or does not want to get as slim as she was when you married her? What's your course of action?

[Mars]

As to your RW dates' weight, I am left with an impression your single deciding factor was weight.

Then you must show me the facts that I posted that left you with that impression.

[Mars]

Mars, I have a question for you. Lets imagine you meet your ideal slender RW beauty, marry her and she moves to the US with you. What if she starts gaining weight (very likely, btw) after moving to the US. What would your reaction be? How many pounds of additional weight is too much? What if she cannot or does not want to get as slim as she was when you married her? What's your course of action?

Good questions.  Exactly the same questions that I am asking myself.
Don't have a ready answer.  Am afraid to think about  it.