RW view of American habit of 'pill-popping'

[SMS60]

Anyone have any wisdom on this topic? My lady in Russia, during a recent conversation, expressed concern/displeasure over the fact that I had taken anti-depressants for a while after my divorce to my former AW.

She asked 'IF something bad/stressful happened in our relationship would I have to be worried about you falling into a deep depression?', and said something to the effect of no one in Russia takes pills except vitamins.

I think too many men start blabbing about things that should be forgotten.

Judnnc, if you are:

1. Not addicted to meds
2. Not currently taking meds
3. Dont see yourself taking them again
4. And happened in your distant pass

Then dont be talking about ths stuff. It serves no usefull purpose. As you found out it leads to confusion.

If you see yourself using the meds in the future then by all means tell the woman.

Enough of the fluff talk.

I'm sure I will be hammered for saying the above but......................Im ready.

[Gator]

I think too many men start blabbing about things that should be forgotten.

Judnnc, if you are:

1. Not addicted to meds
2. Not currently taking meds
3. Dont see yourself taking them again
4. And happened in your distant pass

Then dont be talking about ths stuff. It serves no usefull purpose. As you found out it leads to confusion.

If you see yourself using the meds in the future then by all means tell the woman.

Enough of the fluff talk.

I'm sure I will be hammered for saying the above but......................Im ready.

No, you will not be hammered.  It is excellent advice.  IMO most RW will consider it a major weakness, and RW do not want a weak man. 

[Gator]

That was an absolutely silly and ill-informed statement; your lady seriously needs to educate herself. 

Very few RW are as smart and wise as you.  I am serious.

On the other hand, you can address her concern by saying that if anything so bad as to depress you to the point of pills should ever happen to your relationship, this will most likely be the point where she will no longer give a flying **** for your mental state.    :evil:

Yet even you need to read more about clinical depression.  For sure the stress of a bad relationship could trigger depression; however, so can someting that would not be stressful to the normal person.  A RW may actually give 10 flying ****'s about her husband but her style of interaction could upset him. 

[Gator]

Anyone have any wisdom on this topic? My lady in Russia, during a recent conversation, expressed concern/displeasure over the fact that I had taken anti-depressants for a while after my divorce to my former AW.

What is the diagnosis regarding your depression?  Prognosis?  Does your MD think you have clinical depression, anxiety disorder, etc? 

I realize that these conditions are on a continuum and not "black and white,"  yet if you have such a condition it is likely that most RW are not for you.  Dating and marrying a RW, even one who loves you, can be stressful.   

Not all RW are the same, yet most can consider something you did as "wrong" even though you may see it "right" (call it cultural differences).  In addition, many RW are rather direct with their criticisms, don't candy coat their displeasure, don't hold much back, and don't have a lot of empathy.  In other words RW will not walk on eggs.  Your RW's comments are such an example.

And when they are silent you know something is really bad, so you wonder what could be the problem.

So if you are among the not insignificant percentage of people who have clinical depression, I suggest that you enter this venture  slowly and carefully.

[Misha]

No one says they don't have anything, just not to the degree or as commonly as we use it in the west.

Yes, but Russians do have a tendency to overlook their own habits and overgeneralize, as do Americans, Canadians and all others.

[Blues Fairy]

Yet even you need to read more about clinical depression.  For sure the stress of a bad relationship could trigger depression; however, so can someting that would not be stressful to the normal person.  A RW may actually give 10 flying ****'s about her husband but her style of interaction could upset him.  

Gator, I know enough about clinical depression (have an afflicted family member) but the point of my joke was that nothing except the worst (i.e. the woman no longer giving a flying ****) may drive the guy to take pills and in that case, it should not concern her by definition.  :evil: Sorry to have to explain it.  Perhaps this kind of assurance will not work for her either, considering her level.  

[JR]

I think too many men start blabbing about things that should be forgotten.

Judnnc, if you are:

1. Not addicted to meds
2. Not currently taking meds
3. Dont see yourself taking them again
4. And happened in your distant pass

Then dont be talking about ths stuff. It serves no usefull purpose. As you found out it leads to confusion.

If you see yourself using the meds in the future then by all means tell the woman.

Enough of the fluff talk.

I'm sure I will be hammered for saying the above but......................Im ready.

  Heres your hammer BTW, the above is good advice. The future is in front of you, not behind. Stop looking backwards.

[OlgaH]

1. Not addicted to meds

Actually for an informed and intelligent woman a person's addiction to antidepressants and painkillers would be not less issue to be concerned about.    

[judnnc]

She seems to be ok with it after a little talking to. I do take medication for GERD but she is ok with that. I will say I can understand the negative view of westerners taking pills as opposed to dieting, taking pills as opposed to quitting smoking cold turkey, taking pills to offset health problems brought on by a poor diet.

[mies]

Ladies, do you think that making idiotic statements such as "no one in Russia takes pills except vitamins" is an appropriate way of expressing concern over the OP's vulnerability?  

that depends how you define vulnerability.

"no one in Russia takes pills <<from depression>> except vitamins"

----> if someone takes pills - then he is more vulnerable to stress than average Russian.


---------

Anyone have any wisdom on this topic? My lady in Russia, during a recent conversation, expressed concern/displeasure over the fact that I had taken anti-depressants for a while after my divorce to my former AW.

She asked 'IF something bad/stressful happened in our relationship would I have to be worried about you falling into a deep depression?', and said something to the effect of no one in Russia takes pills except vitamins.

and

She seems to be ok with it after a little talking to. I do take medication for GERD but she is ok with that. I will say I can understand the negative view of westerners taking pills as opposed to dieting, taking pills as opposed to quitting smoking cold turkey, taking pills to offset health problems brought on by a poor diet.

you've lost me here. Do you take antidepressants to reduce stomach acidity? Or GERD is more chronic, and the antidepressants were temporary?

[Blues Fairy]

"no one in Russia takes pills <<from depression>> except vitamins"
----> if someone takes pills - then he is more vulnerable to stress than average Russian.

The insertion << >> is yours, Mies.  I read her statement as "no one takes pills", period.

But even with the insertion, the statement is still idiotic.