Getting "stood up"

[Sculpto]

No, not me..

I was talking with someone who mentioned an interesting story about a Ukrainian woman.  It seems this nice lady had agreed to meet with an American guy who was visiting the country.  Apparently he had not planned to travel to her city so she agreed to travel five hours by bus or train to meet with him.  Letters and phone calls had been exchanged, but, at the last minute this man left the lady waiting and did not meet with her and had no especially good excuse except that "something" came up.  In the end he never met with her at all.  STOOD UP!  Fortunately she never actually wasted the trip.. but he left her waiting by the phone.

She isn't heart broken or anything, but, she now considers him to not only be a liar but a low class jerk and in some way a type of scammer.  That is why I posted the story here.  

So, what do you all think of a man who behaves that way?

[Ade]

So, what do you all think of a man who behaves that way?

She summed it up quite nicely.

she now considers him to not only be a liar but a low class jerk and in some way a type of scammer. 

[remiel6]

WOVO or not, you have to have respect for people. You do not have the choice in my humble opinion to do otherwise. I think she said it very well herself.

[rockford75]

WOVO or not, you have to have respect for people. You do not have the choice in my humble opinion to do otherwise. I think she said it very well herself.

I agree with this point totally. To all the Russian Ukranian ladies out there please dont think all western men act like this!!

[Gator]

2012isfiction,

Happens all the time.  It can be worse!  The RW spends her own money for nonrefundable tickets to meet a man outside her country, and he cancels at the last moment :

We all hear some stories that reveal the sincerity of  RW and their desire to find love and get married.  And on occasion you hear of how a Western man misled such women or even took advantage of them.

My Moscow woman has a 26-yo friend who really wants to marry an European.  She is listed with Elena's Models and had been corresponding and talking with an Englishman for a couple of months.  They decided to meet; however, he did not want to come to Moscow.  She agreed to meet in Istanbul.  He is worried about scamming so he asks her to pay for her travel yet promises to repay her.  She buys the air ticket, and she asks her employer for vacation time to make the trip.

Two days before the trip he sent an SMS saying bad news is better than dishonesty.  He claimed to have a problem with work and wrote that he would not go to Istanbul.  PERIOD. 

Afterwards, he never called her, never wrote her, did not answer her emails, and did not offer to repay her for her expenses.  The tickets were nonrefundable and can not be used for a later flight – her money is gone.   

She had to take her scheduled vacation time, so she spent a week in her apartment with no money.  She has limited vacation and will not be able to take another vacation for several months.

Yes, she broke some rules.  My Moscow woman cautioned her not to do this, but the hope for love can make us take risks.  While this is not a scam in that she did not send him money, his insincerity cost her some money.  He promised to reimburse her, yet he did not.  He simply vaporized.

She is considering whether to report him to Antidate.  Should she? 

For the Newbies, Antidate is an organization operated by RW, and they name specific Western men to be avoided by RW.  It is comparable to the many blacklists of scamming RW.  Most of the listed men are accused of sex tourism.

[RussianWind]

My friend has travelled to his country to meet with nobody. Such a jerk.

No, she didn't report him on Antidate, she is above that.

[Sculpto]

My friend has travelled to his country to meet with nobody. Such a jerk.

No, she didn't report him on Antidate, she is above that.

That is terrible RW.  It is a pity that people behave that way. 

[Olga_Mouse]

She is considering whether to report him to Antidate.  Should she? 

For the Newbies, Antidate is an organization operated by RW, and they name specific Western men to be avoided by RW. 

It is comparable to the many blacklists of scamming RW.  Most of the listed men are accused of sex tourism.

I actually think she should have reported him - as men like that should definitely be avoided!

Also curious, why that Brit has chosen Istanbul - and not Kiev, for example?

Flight ticket to Kiev would be cheaper for a Russian woman; and a Brit would be able to get there with a low-cost airline as well.

She could have also bought a ticket from Aeroflot - and get it refunded with 25 EUR penalty if cancelling more than 24 hours before departure, or with 25% of ticket cost deducted if cancelled 24 - 02 hours before departure. No refund is possible after the check-in for the flight opens (2 hours before schedule departure time).

[wicheese]

I guess the man was not involved in the FSU experience too long as he would have learned the "My grandmother is sick" excuse is pretty standard from what I have seen. 

The funny thing is, I have had it used on me (funny because her grandma became healthy very fast after I said no problem as I'll just go to Crimea as she then wanted to join me), but I have also used it as a former RW girlfriend was in NYC visiting her grandmother and sister and she wanted me to fly in to visit to see if we could restart things (in my case my grandmother was in a car accident and everyone thought she would not make it so I went to see her instead).   BTW, I gave her the option of meeting in Florida instead (where grandma was located) which she declined as I'm sure she thought I was full of s..t (despite my giving her the name and number of the hospital to verify).   

[ConnerVT]

I guess the man was not involved in the FSU experience too long as he would have learned the "My grandmother is sick" excuse is pretty standard from what I have seen. 

If I tell her my grandmother is sick, do you think she'll send me some money by Western Union?   

[kievstar]

This happens all the time with men in Ukraine.  Anyone who thinks the men visiting Ukraine are all angels really live in a fairy tale world.  Numerous dirtbags go to Ukraine.  There are good guys but if you ever really get to know agency owners and workers (meaning they take you inside their home or to their dacha to meet there families) they will tell you stuff not even hollywood would know. 

There are more foreign men scammers than RW scammers in this process.  That is why many of the best looking serious women only spend time with men who visit and outsource letter writing to the agency. They also have the agency screen the men upon arrival.  Why do you think some women get busy all of a sudden and cannot meet.  There real girls in the agency the man just does not meet her expectations and the agency not to hurt someones feelings says she is not around.   

[XMan]

I remember the first time I heard the phrase "sex tourist."  I had difficulty believing that someone would travel thousands of miles for that, until I met one in person while waiting in an airport.  (Interesting what men choose to brag about when you keep your mouth shut and listen.) 

Frankly, I met a few others that embarrassed me with their general behavior. 

But, I was unaware that women actually got stood up.  Hard to imagine, and yet....

Regardless, it makes it difficult to convince someone you are sincere, especially if an agency and the women within it have seen some of the worst behavior from those who came before.