Are the days of letter writing about over?

[facetrock]

  Years ago women used internet cafes. But now it seems they all have a computer and high speed internet. In the last year I think I have written one or two letters. I go to the free sites and send a simple introduction letter. Many times I get a reply giving me their email address to write them. I then send another letter telling them I prefer to chat or talk on Skype or MSN. So far the responses have been very good. You can gauge a womans English better and if she has video see what she really looks like and watch her body language.
  Just remember RWs wont go outside unless they are dressed up. Same goes for letting you see them on a cam for the first time. After awhile they relax a bit. Also remember the first time they see you on a cam dont be sitting their in a bathrobe with your hair( if you have any) going in 100 different directions. Try to look good.
   

[BillyB]

Letter writing is still happening with a lot of RW who don't use dating sites, skype, or MSN. I don't use skype, MSN, or text messaging when communicating with the ladies. Internet or speaking on phone is the way I communicate with them.

Also remember the first time they see you on a cam dont be sitting their in a bathrobe with your hair( if you have any) going in 100 different directions. Try to look good.
 

One lady I've been dating locally for a few months now tells me a lot of interesting experiences she's had online. One 50 year old guy showed up at their webcam meeting nude. She quickly ended the meeting. Another guy asked her to show him something such as her shoulder. She ended that meeting knowing he would ask her to show more later on. She said he was a gentleman for the first two months communicating until he revealed his perverted side. A few young man in their young 20's offered to have sex with her but she told them she's old enough to be their mom and turned them down. One young man persisted pointing out in her profile that one of the things she's looking for regular sex besides friends and a relationship. She said that is only with a man she has some feelings with. She older than I and very good looking so I'm not surprised younger men are writing to her. I did.

[kievstar]

I have yet to meet a woman (American or Russian) who likes to read a letter before meeting the man in person or talking on the phone.  After first meeting, letters are ok.

Women prefer face to face meetings.  Keyboard romeos like letters.

Get on a plane and go often.  You will find a bunch of keyboard romeos here due to this being the internet. 

[Blues Fairy]

I liked letters well enough; even preferred them to any other form of long-distance communication. 
Some 200 letters remain from our almost four years of correspondence.  Maybe we'll publish them some day. 

[Chicagoguy]

We had 550 e-mails and a few snail mails. Only two meetings in person. I sent her a skype camera and she didn't like it. I suspect vanity but I am not sure. Many picture attachments in the e-mails.

But I believe the more meetings the better. Understand that this is expensive though. It is only because I know how much effort she put into those daily letters and what she said that gave me the trust.

Plus she introduced me - somewhat older - to text messanging.

Whatever works !

[GregfromGa]

My wife would ride a bus for 1 hour each way to write me on email. She then moved to Kharkov and it was much easier but still difficult. Once I visited her I saw how extremely difficult it had been and was for her to send me emails. I arranged for her to get a phone in the apartment she shared with her sister and another pair of sisters. I always attributed emails with me really getting to know her. Every now and then we'll pull them out and have a big laugh. You might be right. Those days might be over.

[Ludmila]

I cannot agree more with BF.

If I had to find a soulmate again -- hope, it will never happen-- I'd only chose writing letters FIRST ( to have a photo and basic physical data is a must though)-- EVEN IF THE GUY LIVED IN THE SAME CITY.

Why?

Because it is easier to judge about their educational background and intellect. No matter WHAT THEY SAY THEIR DEGREES ARE.

[BC]

I wouldn't be surprised at all if 'retro' makes a comeback..

Paper catalogs and snail mail.. winning combo IMHO.   Forget all the internet and email stuff.. too much to handle.

After all it's those folks seeking instant satisfaction that seem to run the most into trouble.

[BillyB]

 
Some 200 letters remain from our almost four years of correspondence.  Maybe we'll publish them some day. 

Me and my ex fiancee wrote 200 emails each just in our first year of correspondence. I'll be one of the first to buy your books. I'd like to read how a man won Bluesfairy's heart. Hopefully the book will be rated G.

 
Paper catalogs and snail mail.. winning combo IMHO.   Forget all the internet and email stuff.. too much to handle.

I wrote a few ladies with snail(postal) mail over 4 years ago. One profile was a fake and used by an agency to collect addresses. Still today I occassionally get a small catalogue of ladies at their agency to write to snail mail.

 
After all it's those folks seeking instant satisfaction that seem to run the most into trouble.

Makes sense. If people can invest their time and put in effort to write their questions and answers and talk about their thoughts and feelings often to a person they're interested in, they're more likely to invest time and put in effort into making a relationship/marriage work.

Ronald Reagon, who is known as "The Great Communicator" understood the power of words including written. He wrote hundreds of letters to his wife Nancy over the years. Sometimes he'd write something to her as he's sitting next to her. Sometimes he'll leave some words of love in Nancy's coat only for her to find it later. When he was governer of California, he sent her telegrams. Now that is old fashion! I got the book Nancy wrote about all the letters she received from her husband and like Bluesfairy, saved. You can read some of Reagon's letters here:

http://www.bookbrowse.com/excerpts/index.cfm?book_number=652
 

[BC]

Ronald Reagon, who is known as "The Great Communicator" understood the power of words including written. He wrote hundreds of letters to his wife Nancy over the years. Sometimes he'd write something to her as he's sitting next to her. Sometimes he'll leave some words of love in Nancy's coat only for her to find it later. When he was governer of California, he sent her telegrams. Now that is old fashion! I got the book Nancy wrote about all the letters she received from her husband and like Bluesfairy, saved. You can read some of Reagon's letters here:

http://www.bookbrowse.com/excerpts/index.cfm?book_number=652
 

A note in my lunchbox was always thrown away, but cherished in thought. - thanks Mom!

[Mila]

To my mind, times have really changed little bit and most of the people have computers and Internet at home. But, what I've noticed, the agencies prefer to say the women have no computers and Internet at home, because they will loose business. I think to write some letters is not that bad, if you write them directly to a woman, but to correspond with an agency interpreter for years and fall in love with fake letters, is very silly. That's why skype or MSN  are much better and convenient to use, at least, you can see whom you are talking to.  I agree with kievstar, face to face meeting this is what the women need. 

[ECOCKS]

I don't think anyone on these boards who actually is married or reached the K-visa process seriously believes the rationalizations of falling in love and building a successful long-term relationship via mail or non-face-to-face meetings.

Most of the discussion on this seems to come from new folks trying to validate or rationalize their behavior. Most of us already here seem to tolerate this and begin urging them to get on a plane and go get the job done properly!

[GQBlues]

Ronald Reagon, who is known as "The Great Communicator" understood the power of words including written. He wrote hundreds of letters to his wife Nancy over the years. Sometimes he'd write something to her as he's sitting next to her. Sometimes he'll leave some words of love in Nancy's coat only for her to find it later. When he was governer of California, he sent her telegrams. Now that is old fashion! I got the book Nancy wrote about all the letters she received from her husband and like Bluesfairy, saved.

Little personal info...

I have an ex-GF who did exactly that. Literally from day one we lived together she would pack me lunch and would take the time to squibble love notes on those 3x3 paper notes with whatever comes to her mind...whether it was something we did last weekend, day, coming week/s, all just to remind me just how much she loves me, etc... Everyday.

Every night she would take the time in the kitchen putting that pack together and write her heart and soul for me. Every night.

I saved every single one of those notes. 5 years' worth. Shoe boxes full of them.

To this day, I can pick one out of those boxes and read what it contains and I will remember the background out of that particular note in an instant and would be instantly reminded of everything. And never without fail, I can envision her loving face looking at me with a smile. Like it always look when she tells me she loves me.

I was blessed and I still fell strongly about how wonderful it is to be loved by someone like her.

[BillyB]

I don't think anyone on these boards who actually is married or reached the K-visa process seriously believes the rationalizations of falling in love and building a successful long-term relationship via mail or non-face-to-face meetings.

Most of the discussion on this seems to come from new folks trying to validate or rationalize their behavior. Most of us already here seem to tolerate this and begin urging them to get on a plane and go get the job done properly!

Getting on the plane too soon can give the impression that a man wants instant gratification from the strangers he's about to meet. He almost expects to come back home with results of a relationship.

Here at the forum after reading what people posts, you begin to learn something about them and how they think and view the World. Even though some people here that have opposite World views a I but I get along with them and some I don't get along with.

Letter writing and phone calls are important to get to know a person in order to make a good informed decision if you should or should not get on a plane to meet them. Later a face to face meeting will determine chemistry.


GQ, It's good you can still praise an ex girlfriend. It's hard to imagine someone who writes lots of love notes to their loved ones as a very bad person.

One thing I respect about Reagan is that although he is very busy, he finds the time to write his wife his feelings, making her understand that she is loved and important to his life, repairing any bitter feelings due to an earlier misunderstanding and adding a little humor. Although a very powerful man he show humility and credits his wonderful wife for his success. It reveals a lot about him that he never wrote those words with the intention of it getting published for the public in an effort to improve his image. The time and effort he put in to writing the love letters were for his wife only.

If any of you haven't clicked on the link to read some Reagan's sample letters yet, you should do so. Lot's to be learned about someone and to learn based off their written words.

[Blues Fairy]

I don't think anyone on these boards who actually is married or reached the K-visa process seriously believes the rationalizations of falling in love and building a successful long-term relationship via mail or non-face-to-face meetings.

Falling in love - perhaps not, but building a solid friendship via letters is entirely possible. 

[groovlstk]

Some 200 letters remain from our almost four years of correspondence.  Maybe we'll publish them some day. 

I can't imagine a more wonderful keepsake for your children and their children, and so on.

[UTRO]

I have yet to meet a woman (American or Russian) who likes to read a letter before meeting the man in person or talking on the phone.  After first meeting, letters are ok.

Women prefer face to face meetings.  Keyboard romeos like letters.

Get on a plane and go often.  You will find a bunch of keyboard romeos here due to this being the internet. 

You're kidding right?

[berkough]

I'm 24 and I opt to write letters, I personally think it's more romantic. Plus I'm looking for long term, paitience is a virtue, dedication as well.

Just writing one lady right now, we'll have to see where it goes, perhaps we could do the webcam thing, but I just assume write letters until the situation is set up to go visit.

[UTRO]

I'm 24 and I opt to write letters, I personally think it's more romantic. Plus I'm looking for long term, paitience is a virtue, dedication as well.

Just writing one lady right now, we'll have to see where it goes, perhaps we could do the webcam thing, but I just assume write letters until the situation is set up to go visit.

Berkough, good for you!
As far as Internet Dating applies, I'm completely convinced, through first hand experience, that writing letters is the true way to a Woman's heart no matter what side of the earth she comes from. When I say "letters" I mean emails and I don't mean a few sentences, but rather many paragraphs of substance and depth.
Letters are also the Best Tool in finding out if a Woman is Sincere.... ultimately meaning whether she is a Scammer and or Pro-Dater. Of course, this also applies to the Woman on the receiving end in determining if the Man writing to her is a Keyboard Romeo, a Sex Tourist or a complete Freak 
How many of us have sent letters to a Woman, only to have each and every response laced with vagueness, confessions of love and devotion? All this without knowing a thing about you, or even seeing a photo of you?!? These are the Women you quickly discount and move on from.  **note to JR
So when someone says that letter writing is a waste of time, when meeting on the Internet, I completely disagree.
Letters are the Window to the Soul. You'll write to many and probably become very disappointed and disillusioned.... but eventually you will finally strike Gold, as I did and many others have.
Ultimately a Woman will write back who wants to know all about you, your family, your goals and aspirations, your views on women, politics, children, values, etc... and she in turn will answer your questions directly with sincerity and interest.... and in paragraphs! Then you can begin doing more phoning, smsing, skyping, etc....
Men need to be a little more patient when pursuing any Woman on the Internet. Just as they should be when proposing to a Woman after only one visit 
Writing letters require a lot of patience and time. Especially to a 'one finger typist' as myself But it is also very Romantic and never forgotten!
Svetlana and I have 100's of emails that are full of Substance, Information, Love and Romance.
To this day both Sveta and I still light up when we see an email from each other. She cherishes all of our letters, as do I.
They were the deciding factor in what made us want to meet each other, what made us a couple and what eventually made us man and wife. 

[BillyB]

Just writing one lady right now, we'll have to see where it goes, perhaps we could do the webcam thing, but I just assume write letters until the situation is set up to go visit.

Get on the phone with her often too. If she likes you, that's what she'll want you to do. She may sound interested in letters but maybe she will not be interested with you based on her tone of voice.

Since you are only writing her, do you know if she's only writing you? You're still young so time isn't much factor if this doesn't pan out. Don't spend more than a few months to make a yes or no decision on her. Some guys wasted years chasing after one woman only to learn the hard way she isn't interested.

[UTRO]

Since you are only writing her, do you know if she's only writing you? You're still young so time isn't much factor if this doesn't pan out. Don't spend more than a few months to make a yes or no decision on her. Some guys wasted years chasing after one woman only to learn the hard way she isn't interested.

I agree with Billy here.
From the first letter let her know that you are Sincerely looking for one Woman to create a Relationship with.
Let her know that you are writing with the Ultimate Goal to find a Partner for Life.
Let her know that you don't believe in simply writing, but that you will get off your butt and visit her if there is a spark.... very soon and not later.
Reinforce this to make her feel Confident that you aren't simply another Westerner out to waste her time and disappoint her.

[berkough]

Right on, I appreciate the advice guys. And I will definitely do that.

Thanks!

[Ludmila]

Bercough,

I can put my signature under every word UTRO and Billy said.
 
Both writing and REGULAR phone calls. But control your feelings, please, until you see each other.

I wish you SUCCESS in reaching this goal.

[Shostakovich]

I think that it is probably a good assumption that the ladies in early twenties have sufficient facility with English to manage communication through IM, email, etc.  The ladies I write to with good English don't have email access and the ones with poor English need the translator, so letters are necessary.  This is fine and I think beneficial.  Personally, I think that relationships that reveal themselves slowly, over time through the more deliberate communication of the written word, have a greater chance of long-term success.  In any event, also, skill with language often develops more naturally for women than men and they often differentiate the field of potential partners according to their ability with language.  Thus, if you have ability with language it is to your advantage to put it on display.   

[berkough]

Bercough,

I can put my signature under every word UTRO and Billy said.
 
Both writing and REGULAR phone calls. But control your feelings, please, until you see each other.

I wish you SUCCESS in reaching this goal.

Hehe, just setup my Google Voice account not too long ago, which will be adequate for international calls (much easier than dealing with my mobile provider since all I have is a cell phone)... But as far as controling my emotions or feelings... Obviously we don't know each other, and I'm still new to the board, but yeah, that's not much of a problem.

In the event that we actually meet each other face to face, I'll probably have more of a problem not showing enough affection. I've never been the type of guy to be puddy in a woman's hands. I was raised to have a stoic demeanour.